With Love (8 page)

Luke whispered, “Where do I go from here? Sometimes I feel so lost.”

“I think now we are getting somewhere. Would this be why you haven’t chosen a new place to live?”

“I already told you that I found—”

Brian interrupted. “I know what you told me. Luke, it’s okay; each person needs to take his own time. You need to recognize that your mom’s death has the same amount of impact on the entire family. You alone don’t need to carry this burden. You need to share how you feel.”

“What do I say to my dad?”

“The death of a spouse means different things to the surviving spouse than it does to you. This does not mean that you are necessarily responsible for the living parent. In fact, to heal, you must first and foremost meet your own grief needs. You, as the child, can still be patient and compassionate as you continue your relationship with your dad.”

“Geez, Brian. How did you get so smart and girly?” Luke said with a smirk.

“Very funny.”

“Thanks for listening.”

“Luke, please realize that your dad has almost gone through each of these steps. He’s healed enough to help you with your grief. Don’t be afraid to ask. Support is the number one thing that you need to help yourself. Your dad said that he couldn’t have asked for better support from you, and he wishes that he could give you the same in return.”

Luke started to get up to pay the bill when Brian held his arm.

“I have this poster in my office that says ‘A person that loses a partner is called a widow. A child who loses a parent is called an orphan. But, there is no word to describe a parent that loses a child because that is a loss like no other.’” Brian paused.

Luke gave Brian a funny look.

“It just means that the feeling of loss is normal, the feeling of pain is normal, and feeling like it’s time to move on is okay.”

With that, Luke left to go to the cottage.

***

The next morning I woke up early and felt better then I had in a long time. I was happy that I talked with George the night before. It felt freeing to get some feelings off my chest. I was happy that George welcomed me into his home with his family. It also felt good that I didn’t feel like they were taking in a stray anymore.

I headed down to the kitchen and started making muffins as a thank you. When the last batch of blueberry muffins was coming out of the oven, Kristen came barrelling into the kitchen.

“Kristen, put that muffin down and tell me all about your date last night,” I demanded excitedly.

Laughing, Kristen hid the muffin. “How did you know it was me? I could have been Luke.”

“Don’t you know that I have eyes in the back of my head?”

“No, but I’m going to remember that.”

“I know that I’ve only been here for two days, but you have a signature walk and a springy step, your dad smells like Stetson cologne, and Luke is a heavy walker.”

“Wow, you sure do pay attention.”

“That’s my job—to know what everyone is doing,” I said with a smile.

Before I realized what I was saying, George walked into the kitchen.

“Mmm, smells like blueberry muffins!” George said.

I was happy that George and Kristen started talking about blueberry muffins and how I was spoiling them. I looked at them and smiled, hoping that Kristen didn’t catch on to what I had just said.

George handed me a cup of coffee. “What are you girls talking about?”

“Well, I was just getting your daughter to spill the beans about her date last night.”

“Date? I thought that you were going out with friends bowling.”

“Well, she was. Mike just picked her up, and I might add that he’s super cute.” I winked at Kristen.

“It went well; bowling is fun. I haven’t laughed that much in a long time. It’s so funny when boys go all competition-like. I was home by eleven. Mike was polite, bought me popcorn, and held the doors open for me. He even walked me to the door at the end of the night.”

“And?” I inquired.

“And nothing. Sure, he’s hot, but I don’t think we’ll ever date. He’s just not my type.”

“Phew!” George sighed.

Drinking the last of his coffee, he asked me what my plans were for the day.

“Well, since the Gala is on Saturday, I thought I’d do some research on lighting, shadows, and colors. Julia is sending over some of last year’s pictures and this year’s invitations. We decided to put together a little album to thank everyone for donating. Then, this afternoon I thought I’d go dress shopping,” I explained.

“Great! I’ll come with you.” Kristen took out her phone and started texting. “Julia said she’d meet us here at four, and we can all go together. The dress shop should be done with our alterations, so we can pick up our dresses, and you can look for one there. They have the new Vera Wang collection in.”

“Then, that’s settled. I’ll see you at four,” I said, smiling.

George and Kristen left, and the house became quiet again. I cleaned up the kitchen and went upstairs to brush my teeth, do my hair, and throw on a bit of makeup.

I took off my shoes as I walked the grounds near the pond. I was trying to decide where to place light stands, snapping pictures of the trees, leaves, and fish in the pond. The warm sun felt delightful. I decided to lie down in the grass and soak up some sun.

What is she doing out here—just lying in the grass with her eyes closed? Is she breathing? I don’t see her chest moving. Alyson…I can’t run fast enough.

“What are you doing out here?” a rough male voice asked.

Startled, I quickly explained, “George said that I could make myself at home. I was just planning on how I wanted to set up my lighting.”

As I was kneeling, getting ready to stand, I glanced up and realized it was Luke. I looked him in the eyes and noticed his heavy breathing.

“I’m sorry, Luke. I didn’t mean for you to get upset.”

Luke held out his hand to help her up.

“I’m the one that needs to apologize. I just saw you lying here, and I didn’t see your chest moving…” Luke paused. “Not that I was looking at your chest or anything.”

While laughing, I said, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I just didn’t sleep well again last night, and I’m a shallow breather.”

Luke looked as me as if he was reading my thoughts.

“Is something bothering you? I’ll listen if you want to talk about it,” he offered.

I looked at Luke, wondering,
Why does this man make my panties wet every time I see him?

“No, thanks. I think that everything will be okay.” I gave Luke a big smile. “Just one day at a time.”

“Are you finished here?” Luke bent over to pick up her camera off the grass.

I tilted my head a bit to the side, thinking,
Do you have any clue how nice your ass looks? I just want to run my hands all over it.

“I take it you haven’t had lunch yet. Would you care to join me? I make a mean sandwich,” Luke suggested.

Crap, what did he say?
“Huh?”

“Lunch. Did you eat lunch yet?”

“That would be nice, thank you.” I said with a smile.

Walking back to the house, Luke was eager to grab and hold her hand. He started to reach for it, but then pulled away, thinking it wasn’t a good idea.

Why am I so nervous to have lunch with this man? Look at him, silly. It’s because he’s so yummy looking.

I could tell that Luke was thinking about holding my hand. It made me smile.

As Luke was pulling things out of the fridge to make sandwiches, he asked, “What is your favorite sandwich?”

“Tuna, but ya’ gotta add grated cheese to the mixture.”

“Tuna, it is.”

I walked to the pantry, but then Luke stopped me.

“I said that I was making lunch. Sit your pretty bum down. What can I get you to drink?”

“Iced tea, please.”

I enjoyed watching Luke make lunch. He was very messy at it, and it took him forever to do. “Are you sure you can handle this big project on your own?” I joked with him.

“Yes. Why? Does it look like I don’t?” Luke looked around. “Don’t answer that.”

“Speaking of big projects, why are you not at work today?” I asked.

“I had a breakfast meeting. Speaking of breakfast, Kristen texted me that I missed out on some pretty good blueberry muffins.”

“There are some in the microwave. If you finish your lunch, you can have one afterward,” I said jokingly.

Luke nodded his head and smiled. “Gee, thanks. I needed to come home and change, so I thought I’d grab lunch before I headed back. I couldn’t find you in the house, so I thought I’d look for you outside.”
Oh God, now she’s going to think that I’m stalking her now.

“Well, I’m glad you did,” I admitted.

Luke looked up and said, “Me, too.”

While we ate lunch, we had a light conversation about the weather and the Gala.

“What are your plans for the rest of the afternoon? If you’re not doing much, why don’t you come to the office? I can show you around a bit and explain what my dad’s company does. Also, I’m sure Julia would love you see you,” Luke said.

“Actually, Luke, Julia and Kristen will be here at four o’clock. We are going dress shopping for the Gala. Your sisters already have their dresses. They’re just picking them up, and I’m going to pick out a dress while we’re there.”

“Do you know what you have in mind? Like what color?” Luke asked curiously.

“No, why?” I said, wondering why he’d care about what dress I chose.

“I just thought we could color coordinate,” he said with a shrug.
Chill, dude, this isn’t prom, and your almost thirty-four.

“I don’t think your date would appreciate that,” I said confused.

“My date? Oh…I’m not bringing a date,” Luke replied.
Could this get any worse?
“I don’t have anyone to bring.”

“Oh.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Luke paused for a moment. “Alyson, I’m not seeing anyone.”

I looked at him and smiled, noticing a little sweat on Luke’s forehead.

“Luke, thanks for lunch it was…” I paused, looking around the kitchen. “Entertaining. But, why don’t you head to the office? I’ll tidy up here. By the time I’m done, the girls should almost be here.”

Luke went to his room, thinking about how easy lunch was and how beautiful Ally was just sitting there laughing.
She looked at ease. How in the hell can I go into the office with this?
Luke looked down at his jeans.
Better take a quick shower
.

Once that warm water hit, Luke knew it was going to be anything but a quick shower. When he closed his eyes, all he could picture was Alyson under the stream of water, eyes closed with her head tilted back. He imagined his eyes traveling down her neck to her breasts, dreaming about how much he wanted to lick and suck on them. With greedy eyes, he thought about a small stream of water running in between her breasts. It took all that he had not to touch her and run his fingers over them.
Oh God.
He fantasized watching Ally slightly swinging her hips in a figure eight motion.
This chick is going to kill me without even realizing it.

***

“Hey, is anyone home?” Julia yelled as she walked into the house.

Kristen and I ran down the stairs.

Kristen said, “Sorry, Julia, I made Ally change into something more fun.”

I looked down at myself. “Yeah, more fun…”

We all started giggling.

Julia said, “So I was thinking that we’d get pedicures and manicures, and then we can head over to the dress shop. After that, we can do dinner and drinks. Since Kristen isn’t quite old enough to drink, she’s driving.”

“Gee, thanks, Julia,” Kristen sulked.

Julia laughed at Kristen. “Oh, come on, kiddo. Soon, you can drink with us big boys.” Then she looked at me, “Are you ready for some quality girl time?”

“Yes, but didn’t you guys just have all this done for the wedding?”

“Yeah, but it’s so fun. I’m always game to do it again. Besides, it’s good quality time.”

“Okay then, ladies.” I said with a huge smile. “Let’s go; it’s been forever since I had girl time and a little fun.”

As we headed towards the car, Julia noticed Luke’s car. “Did Luke not go to work again today?”

“He said he had a morning meeting. Then, we had lunch. He said he was changing and heading into the office. I thought for sure that he would have gone by now,” I said.

“Ally, you had lunch with Luke today?” asked Kristen.

“Yeah, in fact, he made me lunch today. You guys should have seen the kitchen! It was a disaster zone.”

Kristen and Julia just looked at each other and smiled as they pulled away.

***

Luke jogged upstairs quickly to grab a file that his dad needed from his home office.

Oh, thank God they left. How would I possibly explain me still being here?

As Luke was leaving the office, he got a whiff of Ally’s perfume from her open bedroom door. He knew that he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. He went and stood in her doorway.
Ally, you smell so good. Creep much? Pull your shit together, Luke. If anyone were to see you right now, they would definitely say that you need therapy.
Luke thought to himself as he left the house.

***

“Ally, you totally need that color on your toes!” Kristen said excitedly.

“You think? I mean it’s a pretty bright red.”

“Yeah, but it’s on your toes. Nothing says sexy hot like sassy red toenail polish.”

“Kristen, what do you know about sassy red nail polish?” asked Julia with a quirky smile.

“Julia, you’re just as bad as Luke! I know what’s hot. I read, and besides, one doesn’t go to volleyball camp and not learn a few things,” Kristen replied, winking.

Julia just looked at her with a shocked expression and then turned to me. “Ally, have you chosen a color for your fingernails yet?”

“I was thinking this light pale pink with sparkles. This way it will go with any dress that I choose.”

“Sounds good to me,” replied Julia.

“What about you, Julia?”

“Actually, if they have time, I think I’ll get a massage instead. I could use a good pair of hands on my body.”