Within Reach (31 page)

“But what about me?” she asked in a small voice. “What about the direction I’ve taken?”

“It seems to me you’ve done pretty well,” he retorted, gaining force as she lost it. “I give you the kind of freedom that some men would never give their wives because I’m self-confident enough to allow it. You have your work with Governor Bryant. You have your friends. You have your house in Maine. You even have that Buchanan fellow. Let me tell you, some husbands would never stand for
that
. Some husbands would be jealous. But I’m not. I realize you have to have your own friends, and I’m happy you do.” His eyes grew steely. “But what I won’t stand for is talk of divorce. I don’t want one. You’re my wife, and I like it that way. The arrangement we have is very comfortable for me. So I’d suggest you grow up a little and accept what’s best for you.”

She opened her mouth to protest when Blake stalked from the room, calling over his shoulder, “I’m going to make those calls you’ve kept me from, and after that I’ll drive you to the airport. You can leave the things on the table. John will clean up when he gets back.”

Danica stared after his retreating figure. Only when she heard the den door shut did she blink, then swallow. She hadn’t known what she had expected, but it was certainly a little more tenderness than he had shown. Either that or that he would have agreed to a divorce. But he hadn’t. He had rejected it in no uncertain terms. He had opted for the playing out of their prescribed roles, just as her father would have done in the same situation. She wondered if her mother had ever put her foot down, then decided not, because her mother was an accommodator. And Danica? What was she? She couldn’t bear the thought of continuing with Blake, particularly after what she had found with Michael. But the battle lines were drawn. Blake would fight her. She knew her parents would fight her, too.

Discouraged, she allowed Blake to drive her to the airport. He made no reference to their talk, indeed said little during the drive. She made no attempt to break the silence because her thoughts were too raw. Their parting was as dispassionate as was everything else about Blake. When he leaned down to give her a dutiful kiss, it was on her cheek and she was grateful. Her lips ached for another man, and having known his kiss so thoroughly, one from her husband was a sacrilege.

Danica tried to settle back into routine, but her thoughts were never far from Michael. She worked diligently with James, going over what she had written during the summer, discussing the direction of the last few chapters of their book, but her concentration when she was home alone was often broken by brooding. She resumed her ballet classes, delighting in seeing all her friends again, but they didn’t come home with her, either. On those mornings when she had board meetings at the Art Institute or the hospital, she found herself looking at the other women around the table, wondering if they were happy in their marriages, if they were loyal to their spouses and their spouses to them. She knew that several of them were on second, even third marriages, and she wished she were close enough to any of them to talk about it. But there was a formality among these people that she could never quite breach, so her questions went unanswered.

On the day that Michael was due to arrive in Boston, she stayed home, waiting. His call came at three in the afternoon.

“Lord, I’m sorry, Dani. I wanted to call you sooner, but they’ve had damned meetings scheduled since ten. How are you, sweetheart?”

“Missing you. When will you be done?”

“I should be free by six. Can you make it for dinner?”

She answered quickly and without pride. “I can make it for anything. You name the time and place.”

He smiled at her urgency, which fed his own. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.…Time and place?”

He named them, having decided that a small Greek restaurant on the outskirts of the Square would give them the privacy they sought. “Dani, maybe I should pick you up. I’m not sure I like the idea of your driving around at night.”

“No, this is better. I’ll lock all the doors. It’ll be fine.”

“You’re sure?” He knew that what she said made sense. Though neither of them had spoken of proprieties, both knew that the more unnoticed their meeting went, the better.

“I’m sure…I can’t wait, Michael,” she whispered.

“Me, neither. I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through these meetings. It was bad…morning…” The connection broke momentarily.

“Ooops. There’s your dime.”

“That wasn’t any three minutes,” he yelled to an operator who wasn’t listening.

“You’d better go, Michael. We’ll have plenty of time to talk later. Okay?”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Danica hung up the phone feeling warmed as she hadn’t since she had returned from Maine ten days before. She basked in the feeling for the rest of the afternoon, then dressed with special care. With just a momentary touch of guilt, she told Mrs. Hannah that she would be having dinner with a friend and that she wouldn’t be back until late, but she was firm when the housekeeper suggested that Marcus could drive her wherever it was she was going.

“Thank Marcus for me, but I feel like driving myself,” she said, taking the keys to the Audi and heading out to the courtyard. She hadn’t lied. She felt strong, full of energy, very much on top of the world.

Her headiness didn’t diminish even when it took her ten minutes and three trips around the block to find a parking space. She was running when she reached the restaurant, but it was a wise expenditure of energy in light of the self-control she had to then exercise to keep from flying into Michael’s arms and telling the whole world she was in love.

With Michael in much the same state, they babbled steadily through dinner, not seeing what they ate and caring less. They skipped dessert. He couldn’t get the check fast enough. Then they were out of the restaurant and he was walking her to her car, leaning low to kiss her in the opportune darkness of the quiet side street. Drawing back at last, he reached into his pocket and pressed his hotel key into her hand. “I’ll follow you until we get there. Then you go on up. I’ll join you in a minute.”

She nodded, which was all she could do because she was shaking all over and not from fear of discovery. Being so near Michael yet unable to touch him, to say those things her heart needed to say, had been sheer torture. Only with the greatest of control did she manage to start her car, then wait until Michael had pulled up beside her. The ten-minute drive seemed endless. Her excitement grew such that her body was high-pitched and taut by the time she finally pulled into the parking lot. Michael pulled in beside her, then sat.

Taking a deep breath to steady her movements, she slid from the car and entered the lobby of the hotel, took the elevator to the eighth floor, found the room and let herself in. Once there, she leaned back against the door and waited, heart thudding, body trembling, juices flowing in anticipation of Michael, his body, his love.

His knock came so softly that she mightn’t have heard it, given the hammering of her pulse, had she not been braced against the door. She peered out. He slid in. Then they were in each other’s arms, hugging, kissing, laughing and sighing until even that wasn’t enough.

“You look beautiful,” Michael rasped, sliding her thin wool sheath up over her hips. “I love your dress.” The item was over her head and discarded in a heap that would have made lie of his praise had Danica not understood, and shared, his impatience. She was tugging at his tie.

“You look gorgeous all dressed up,” she said in hurried breaths. She left his tie draped loosely around his neck while she attacked the buttons of his shirt. “I’ve never seen you this way. You’ll drive female students wild.”

“I won’t even see them,” he managed, sending her slip the way of her dress. He fumbled with his belt, jerked down his zipper and shucked his pants while she threw her stockings aside.

Within minutes they were naked and falling on the bed, each touching the other with a greed born of a deprivation that seemed to have stretched for longer than ten days.

“I love you. Oh, baby, I love you,” he panted, making a place for himself between her legs and thrusting upward.

Danica cried out and held him tightly, wrapping her legs around his waist, rising from the bed to meet his deep thrusts. It was only minutes before they climaxed, then an eternity of bliss and a slower, more reluctant return to earth.

“I’ve missed you,” she breathed against his damp chest. “It’s seemed like forever.”

He held her snugly against him, an arm around her shoulders, a thigh over hers anchoring her to his hip. As physically sated as they were at that moment, neither would allow sleep to steal even a second of the time they had together. When they recovered enough to talk, they did. When talking gave way to revived physical needs, they made love again. Then there was more to say, more to share. All too soon, and with great reluctance, Danica pushed herself from the bed and reached for her clothes.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave,” he said.

She stepped into her panties, and sat to pull on her stockings. “So do I. But I have to get home or Mrs. Hannah will wonder.” Even as she spoke, she hated the words. She didn’t want to have to hide when what she was hiding was so wonderful. She knew that Michael felt the same because his jaw was tight, his expression grim.

She fastened her bra and pulled on her slip. Unable to resist, she looked back at Michael’s sprawled form. “You have a beautiful body,” she murmured, running her hand through the hair on his chest. It was warm and looked more golden than tawny in the dim light that flowed from the nightstand. She felt she was touching a treasure. But the treasure didn’t end at his chest. It descended over the lean plane of his stomach, over narrow hips and the limp but nonetheless impressive parts that made him man, over the sinewed strength of legs that stretched forever. She met his gaze and smiled. “A bronzed god with a heart of gold. I love you, Michael.”

Grasping her elbows, he hauled her over him and kissed her in eloquent return of the vow. By the time he was done, he was no longer limp, and she had to force herself from the bed to keep from responding to his desire.

“You’ll be here for another day?” she asked.

He pushed himself up against the headboard and dragged a sheet over himself in the hope that what was out of sight would be out of mind. “I finish up tomorrow afternoon. I could drive back tomorrow night—” when she gasped, he grinned “—but I won’t. I’ll stay over if you can think of good reason why I should.”

Throwing caution to the winds, she returned to the bed. As she kissed him, she stroked him through the sheet, stopping only when he arched upward in greater need.

“Good reason,” he rasped. “That’s it. Of course, I’ll be in agony until then. Dani, you’re not playing fair.”

Because she loved him so much and because what she’d started had affected her nearly as much as it had him, she kissed him again, this time sliding her hand under the sheet.

“Take off your panties,” he whispered into her mouth. “Just your panties. I’ll be quick.”

“No. Let me.”

“Dani…” But he moaned and said nothing more, because she knew what she was doing and he couldn’t think with the pleasure she gave him. When she eased the sheet back and leaned lower, he tried again. “Dani…no…ahhhh, my God…Dani…”

She was using her tongue and lips as he had done to her, and the love she felt for him bridged whatever gaps remained in her education. Eyes closed tightly, head pressed to the side, he strained upward. The tendons of his arms stood out vividly. His outspread fingers dug into the sheet. He gasped her name once more, caught his breath, then felt his body explode.

She was kissing him sweetly on the mouth when he finally regained awareness. “That was wonderful,” she said with a feline smile, and, though still dazed, he sensed the full extent of her love.

“That was wonderful,” he echoed, but weakly, because every inch of his body felt drained. He took a long, shuddering breath. “And you’ve won because there’s no way I can touch you any more tonight. I don’t think I’m going to move till morning.”

“No need,” she said softly. “When do you have to get up?”

“Seven,” he mumbled without opening his eyes.

Without another word, she picked up the phone and requested a wake-up call, then quietly finished dressing and kissed him softly. He was already asleep. For a final moment she gazed at him from the door, then, smiling, carefully shut it and headed home.

The next night was every bit as heavenly. They ate at a different restaurant this time but returned to his hotel in much the same manner and spent the next hours in bliss. Unfortunately, the bliss faded when Danica dressed to leave.

“I don’t like this, Dani. I don’t like having to sneak around with you as though what we’re doing is wrong. I don’t like having to starve for a week between feedings.”

She laughed and gently stroked his cheek. “You’ve been with Rusty too much. He always did make a fuss about mealtimes.”

“I’m not talking about food,” he growled.

“I know.” She grew more serious. “I know. But I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll divorce Blake. This is getting ridiculous.”

“I need more time, Michael. I’m trying. I’ve put the bug in his ear and all I can do is twist it around until he gets the message.”

“What if he never does? Maybe the guy needs a good swift kick in the ass.”

“We knew it wouldn’t be easy.”

“If you’re waiting for
him
to suggest the divorce, maybe you’re going about it the wrong way. Maybe you should tell him about us. Maybe you should tell Mrs. Hannah you’ll be out all night.”

“I can’t do that. Please? I need you to be supportive. I’m doing what I can in the only way I know how.”

Seeing, hearing her agony, Michael pulled her head to his chest. “Okay, sweetheart. And I’m sorry if I push you, but there are times when I get so impatient.”

“I get that way, too, and it’s so much worse because I feel an awful responsibility on my shoulders.”