Within Reach (51 page)

He frowned. “Driving? Where are you going?”

“I’m going home.”

“
Home
?” He was standing before her, his eyes darkening. “
This
is home. I thought you realized that by now.”

“Home for me is in Maine. With Michael.”

William came close to exploding. “With
Michael
! Have you lost your
senses
? Your place is with Blake. You’ve stood beside him through this whole ordeal, and now that it’s over the two of you should be able to patch up whatever differences you may have had. Blake still has a solid future in this town. Besides, you can’t leave him. You’re carrying his child!”

She raked her teeth across her lower lip. “No, Daddy. I’m not.”

He glanced at her belly again, then her face. “What in the hell are you saying?”

“You know. Think. How could this child possibly be Blake’s when Michael’s the one I’ve been with most, when Michael’s the one I love?”

“It’s
his
child?” When she nodded, he cursed. “I’ll kill the bastard!”

“No, you won’t. He loves me and he loves this child, and he’s going to make both of us very, very happy. I’d think you’d be grateful to him for that. After all, I’m your daughter and this will be your grandchild.”

“It was supposed to be Blake’s!”

“No,” she said sadly. “You
wanted
it to be Blake’s, that’s all.”

“Does he know?”

“Blake? He’s known all along.”

“And he sat back and took it?”

“I was serving his purposes. That was all that mattered to him.”

“Why wasn’t
I
told?”

“It wasn’t your business then. It is now only because I want you to understand why I’m leaving Blake. Don’t you see?
I love Michael
! Blake and I have nothing left. Nothing!”

“He won’t let you go. He needs you here.”

“He’s letting me go. We’ve already talked and it’s settled.”

William stalked to the far side of the room, then swiveled to face her. His eyes were hard, and her heart sank. She had hoped he would yield, that he would defer to her judgment for once. Obviously, he wasn’t going to do that.

“You’re being very stupid, Danica. Blake is in a position of power and prominence, both of which can rub off on you. He has it over Buchanan any day.”

It was one thing for him to put her down, quite another for him to do so to Michael. “You’re wrong,” she said in a warning tone. “You don’t know the facts.”

“Well, enlighten me!” he roared as he threw his hands out and paced back from the side of the room. “If you think you’re so wise, tell me. And don’t give me that hogwash about love, because it’s flighty and feminine and it won’t get you
anywhere
in this world.”

“That,” Danica responded angrily, “depends on where you want to go.”

“You’re sure gonna go nowhere, girl. You could’ve been on top with your tennis, and you quit. Now you’re doing the same thing all over again.
What’s the matter with you
? Haven’t you learned
anything
in thirty-odd years on this earth?”

“I’ve learned plenty,” Danica retorted, her eyes blazing right back at William’s. “I’ve learned that you and I have very different definitions of what ‘being on top’ means, and that while your definition may be just fine for you, it’s not for me. I’ve learned that I have options in life, that I can take the road
I
want rather than the road someone else wants me to take.”

Shaking, she paused only to gasp for air. “There’s only one thing I’ve ever really wanted in life. A family. A warm, loving, close family. I never had it when I was growing up because you and Mom were too busy with your career to even stop and consider my needs. I never had it with Blake because he was so involved with Eastbridge and…and…well, it just never came. I was ready to give up on my dream because you all kept saying that things like duty and responsibility were more important. Then I met Michael, and I learned that I wasn’t crazy to want the things I did. I learned that by taking a road of
my own
choosing, I can have it all.”

William patted the air. “You’re pregnant, Danica. You’re being emotional. You’re not thinking clearly—”

“
I
am.
You
’re the one who’s missing the boat.” Her eyes narrowed. “Do you want to know what else I’ve learned? I’ve learned that you’re fallible. You make mistakes just like the rest of us. Your judgment on some matters leaves much to be desired.”

William stiffened. “I won’t have you talking to me that way, Danica. I’m your father. I deserve respect.”

“So do I, and I’m going to get it!” She had reached the point of fury where there were no holds barred. “Do you have any idea why my marriage failed?
Do you
?”

“You gave up on it.”

“I did not.
Blake
did.” She straightened. “You may have thought that you knew him when you chose him to be my husband, but you didn’t. And for ten long years I didn’t know him, either. At first I thought I was doing something wrong. He spent more and more time out of the house, less and less time with me. I rationalized and tried to compensate, but it didn’t work. Toward the end we shared little more than the same last name.
And do you want to know why
?”

“Yes,” William goaded indignantly.

“Because Blake prefers men to women! He was having an affair with Harlan Magnusson!”

William raised his hand and, for a minute, she thought he was going to hit her. Then the hand curled into a fist and lowered slowly. “I don’t believe you,” he stated very quietly.

“You don’t have to believe me,” she said, suddenly even more quiet than he. “Blake confirmed it. And it explains certain things—such as why Harlan was able to get that illegal shipment out of Eastbridge.”

“Are you suggesting that Blake was sweet-talked into it, that he knew about it all along? You’re skating on thin ice, girl. A jury acquitted him.”

“And I’m not making accusations one way or the other. All I’m saying is that there always was a special relationship between Blake and Harlan. Now I understand its full nature.”

William was not one to accept defeat graciously. Danica might be his daughter, but Blake had always been his man. “Maybe if you’d been a better wife Blake wouldn’t have had to…to resort to something else.”

It was the final straw. Danica was the one who wanted to hit now, and only by pressing her fists to her sides did she refrain from doing so. Every one of her muscles was rigid. She didn’t so much as blink, though her voice was tremulous when she spoke. “I don’t have to justify my actions if you’re so blind that you can’t see what I’ve done even during these past five months of hell. All my life I’ve tried to please you, but that hasn’t been enough—not for you, because I never quite reached the top, and not for me, because I don’t want to get to the top as you see it.”

She shifted her purse on her shoulder and swallowed. “I’ll be leaving now. I’m going to stop in to say goodbye to Mom. By the way, she doesn’t know about Blake and I don’t want you to tell her. Considering the fact that she’s had one stroke, she can do without the added strain. Besides, she accepts me for what I am, and she knows that I’ll be ten times happier with Michael than I ever was with Blake. Thank God, that means something to her.”

Danica turned and headed for the door. She walked slowly, waiting, praying that her father would say something to heal the rift between them. When he said nothing, her shoulders slumped and she quietly let herself out.

Eleanor insisted on driving as far as Hartford with her, and Danica was grateful for her company. She told her of the conversation with her father, omitting that one part about Blake, and about her fervent hope that one day William might see things her way. She told of her plans for the divorce, of her desire to sell the Kennebunkport house and move in with Michael as soon as possible. She told about her hopes for the future, her excitement, the dreams that seemed finally within reach.

And Eleanor was happy for her, which was some consolation for the pain Danica felt at her father’s rejection.

The following morning, feeling more rested and alive with anticipation, she climbed back in the car for the drive to Boston and, after that, the final leg of what had been a long, long journey.

twenty

o
NE MINUTE THERE WAS NOTHING BUT A CLOUD of fog before him, the next she was there, materialized from the mist. Stunned, Michael came to an abrupt halt.

He wondered if he was dreaming because he knew he had lived through this once before. Then the weather had been as inhospitable, the figure before him as striking. Now, though, it was the January wind that whipped through the ends of her sandy hair, and rather than a long skirt she wore jeans. Her jacket was as chicly oversized as the other had been on that March day nearly three years before, but this time it covered a rounded belly, inside which lay his child.

She was his dream come true. When he opened his arms, she came running, throwing her own around his neck, burying her face in the collar of his sheepskin jacket as he crushed her to him.

“Dani…Dani…” he murmured, defying the thunder of the waves by pressing his lips to her ear.

She was crying when he held her back, but she was laughing too, and she was beautiful. Unable to speak, she simply grinned at him while she brushed the tears from her face. He saw it then, the ring finger on her left hand. Taking it in his, he stroked its slender length.

“It’s gone,” he whispered hoarsely. “Your wedding band’s gone.”

She nodded vigorously, then laughed when she still couldn’t stem her tears.

“You’ve left him?” he asked cautiously, knowing she had been planning to but refusing to count on it until it was done. She nodded, and his voice rose. “For good?” She nodded again, and he spoke even louder. “And you’re free?”

This time when she nodded, he bent his knees, threw back his head and let out a great whoop of joy. By the time he straightened, she was burrowing against him again. Wrapping her tightly in his arms, he held her until she raised her head and sought his gaze.

“I’m…so…happy!” she cried.

He gave her a crooked smile. “So am I. I was beginning to think you’d left your tongue in Washington!”

“Oh, no. I’m just happy! Kiss me, Michael. We’ve made it!”

He kissed her once, then again and again. She was laughing when he finally released her. Opening his jacket, he drew her inside, then turned them both and started walking slowly along the beach. When moments later Rusty loped in from the mist, Danica knelt to hug him, then returned to her man.

“Tell me, Dani. Tell me what happened.”

She did, though she grew sober from time to time. “I really feel sorry for him, Michael. I read in today’s paper that he’ll be back as Secretary, but I don’t envy him his future.”

“You don’t envy him because it’s not the life you want. You’ve chosen your own, thank God.”

She slanted him a cautious glance. “When I said I was free before…you know that it’s only in the figurative sense just yet. I still have to file for the divorce. I told Blake I’d wait a couple of weeks until things die down, but I’m going to get a quick one. He won’t give me a fight.”

“That’s all that matters. What about your father? Do you think he’ll ever come around?”

Her expression grew more pained. “I don’t know. Mom will work on him. I know she’ll be coming up here to visit whether he chooses to or not. I want him to, but it’s up to him. I can’t dwell on it, Michael. I’ve earned the right to our happiness.”

He tucked her closer. They were both silent for a while before he spoke again. “Do you remember that first day we met here on the beach?”

She had been thinking of the same. “How could I forget? It changed my life. You talked of pain then, of how sometimes strength comes from facing pain and dealing with it. You were right. I think that’s what’s happened to me. I feel so much stronger, so much more
whole
.”

“You were always strong, Danica. You’d been dealing with pain for a long time before I came along. The only difference is that now you see it, now you see the strength in yourself.”

“Perhaps.” She looked toward the waves. “You also talked about the ocean. Do you remember? You said that everything here was raw and truthful and commanded the same from us. You said that falling victim to the sea meant baring one’s soul.”

“I remember.”

She turned into him then, sliding her arms inside his jacket and around his waist. “It can be painful, as it was then, or it can be beautiful, as it is now.” Her voice grew hushed. “I love you, Michael. With my heart, my soul, everything, I love you.”

For the longest time he could only drink in the adoration she offered. “I think I’m the luckiest man on this earth,” he murmured at last. Unaware of the bounty of love his own gaze returned, he grew concerned when she began to tremble. “You’re cold. Come on. Let’s go back to my place for a warm drink.” When she chuckled, he tipped his head. “What’s so funny?”

“You said the same thing that day. I remember thinking to myself that it’d be hot chocolate, just like your eyes.”

“And I remember thinking that you had the most stunning violet ones I’d ever seen. I have to amend that. They’re even more stunning now, all love and glow.…Well?”

“Well what?”

“How about that drink? You refused me that day.”

“I was scared then. You were too attractive.”

“Are you still scared?”

“Not on your life, bud.” She broke away from him. “I’ll race you there.” With Rusty at her heels, she started to run, but the sand slowed her down and Michael caught up with her after she’d taken no more than three plodding strides.

“Ohhhhh, no, you don’t.” He firmly anchored her to his side. “A woman in your condition doesn’t race.”

She didn’t argue because in her joy to be reunited with him she had completely forgotten about her condition, and there was so much she wanted to tell him about that. “Michael, guess what?” Her eyes widened. “I heard the baby’s heartbeat!”