Within The Shadows (21 page)

“
Why did the
shadows want to kill me?” I asked him yet again.

“
For you to be reborn. You are to be their queen, Giselle.”
He disappeared, and left me pondering on what he had just
revealed.

I was not
ready for any of it. I paced in my cell, thinking, making plans of
escape, anything to occupy my mind, and forget about what Afanas
had told me. I could not be pregnant. I felt no different, and if I
was, who was the father?

Holy
crap!
I suddenly remembered my one and
only time with the love of my life, Marc. We had not used any
protection at all. I know it sounds stupid, but I did not think I
could fall pregnant after my failed attempt with Alex.

A warm
feeling travelled through me as I thought of the prospect of having
Marc’s baby. I know it was probably a naive thing to do, but it
filled me with hope, hope I had not felt in a while. Just thinking
that my baby would have a chance at a normal life gave me a sense
of relief. With that thought, I lay down on the bed, and fell
asleep.

* * *

My dreams
were filled with so much craziness. One minute, I was back in my
childhood, playing on the swings with my brothers. The next, I was
in a fever, screaming and pushing at people that surrounded my bed.
My voice echoed as I struggled to make sense of what I was
saying.

Spooked, I
woke up
, and felt disgusting. Sweat had
saturated me so much so that my clothes stuck to my skin. I craved
the warmth of a hot bath. My stomach ached from hunger, and, most
of all, the sorrow I felt over the death of Nikita haunted
me.

The touch of
a hand startled me from my contemplation. It rested on my back as I
lay still, frozen in my sleeping position, too afraid to turn
around. I pretended to sleep as the hand rubbed along the base of
my spine. Goosebumps spread across my flesh as I fought hard to
remain still and lifeless.

I shuddered
at the touch, and then a voice spoke to me. “We have waited so long
for you. The excitement is almost too much to bear,” the voice
slurred.

Turning
round, its eyes were fixed on me, wide and golden. “I want to go
home,” I whispered. “Please.”

“
But you are
home, Giselle.”

“
No! I don’t belong here . . . in this . . . this other
world. I belong with my family,” I pleaded.

“
You belong with us. We are your family now.” His face began
to emerge before me.

A
middle-aged man resembling Afanas sat by my side. His back was
hunched over. His expression was serious, and his face was long.
His eyes glowed like the sun setting, a burnt orange shade. He
looked human, yet I knew he was anything but. I could sense
something menacing about him, and I did not trust a word he
said.

“
Of course, you already know that, don’t you? You knew you
would come home one day. You wear the mark firmly on your soul.” He
placed his hand between my breasts. “You have always walked with
darkness, and now it is time to embrace it. Let it fill your heart,
and you will be at one with us, your most reverent
servants.”

“
I . . . refuse. Okay? I don’t want to be a part of this
nonsense,” I shouted as I tried to push him away from
me.

“
It has already begun. You will be our Queen.” He held me by
my throat up against the bars of my cell.

Gasping, I
fought back. “I . . . will . . . not!”

I drew in my
breath sharply, choking as I fell to the floor. Dizziness came
first, and then the unconscious world claimed me as I lay in a heap
on the cold, wet ground of my cell.

Incoherent
noises pulsated through my head as I struggled to regain
consciousness. Screams and sounds of torture resounded as I
wandered the corridors. It was like entering a labyrinth, an
endless maze of tunnels that left me confused. I never seemed to
get far from where I started, and then suddenly, I was back at the
start, only each time my outward direction had changed.

From behind
the walls, I could hear the desperate cries of women as they
pleaded for their lives.
Other staccato
sounds pierced my head, making me scream as the deafening pitch
seemed to burst my eardrums. I stood in silence, unable to hear my
own voice. Everything had become muffled, but one voice I could
hear, and recognized quite clearly.

Nikita.

She pleaded,
as their laughter drowned out her cries. “I shouldn’t be here.
Please, please . . . No . . .” Her bloodcurdling scream echoed from
the walls.

Her voice
was all around me, and its anguish buried itself inside me. I was
unsure from which direction it had come, but I followed my gut
instinct, and headed towards a secluded tunnel. Dimly lit torches
flickered as I walked in the direction of Nikita’s increasing
screams. Beneath my bare feet, rats rushed past. My feet sank down
into the mucky ground, and its putrid smell repulsed me. The closer
I came to the source of the screams, the harder it was to walk
through the increasingly thick muck. I could feel warm liquid ooze
over my toes as I neared the end of the tunnel.

Feeling
confident, I lifted my foot, and tried to climb over some barbed
wire that had come loose from the wall. I fell, and cut my heel. I
struggled over the rest of the wire, and sat on the dusty soil
inspecting my foot. Maggots and worms wriggled, and fell to the
ground from my legs and ankles. Screaming, I frantically tried to
brush them off, squashing some into the dirt with my
hands.

I was back
on my feet, and I continued to follow Nikita’s now deafening cries.
Her wailing sent a shiver through me. It was harrowing. There was a
hollow wall to the left of me, and I walked into a room that looked
like a medieval torture chamber with hooks, chains, and a chair
with spikes covering the seat, back and arm, leg and footrests. A
triangular shaped seat was in the corner of the room, its tip
covered in bloodstains.

My eyes felt
as though they were bursting out of my head when I saw Nikita. Her
arms were bound behind her back. A rope had been tied around her
wrists, and was attached to some kind of winch. She was hanging by
her arms, and weights had been tied to her feet. Her flesh had been
ripped open. It was a horrific sight. It made me sick. I lost all
sense of reality as I tried to get to her to free her, but some
kind of force field held me back. I could not get any closer. I was
a mere spectator.

Lifting her
head, she looked around the room. When she saw me, her eyes fixed
on me, and she screamed, “You did this! You condemned me! You are
darkness!” Her voice broke. Slowly, her breathing became laboured,
and, just as I had witnessed before, she died.

In front of
me, four sets of glowing eyes appeared, each one making
incomprehensible noises. They moved closer to me, breaking through
the force field. I screamed as I was pulled further into the
room.

A hand held
my head back as it spoke into ear.
“Do
you see why you belong here? You bring death. You are
death!”

* * *

Screaming, I
awoke on the ground within my cell. I was cold and wet, and I
trembled from the shock of what I had dreamt. It felt so real, and
for a moment, I was convinced it was. The guilt I felt after seeing
Nikita again took me further into depression. It had been bad
enough the first time, but seeing her die a second time made me
condemn myself even more. She was right. I was to blame. The
darkness that had possessed me was the reason. I was tainted, and
no amount of goodness was going to erase the shadow from my
soul.

Time passed
before I saw anyone again. I was left cold, dirty, hungry, and
alone. The sickness was the worst. It came in waves of dizziness,
and with it came bouts of vomiting. I honestly thought I was going
to die.

I had just
about given up when the door of my cell was unlocked. It swung
open, and in walked an old man carrying a tray. Avoiding eye
contact, he set the tray beside me, stepped backwards, and left.
The door remained open, and I thought for a split second about
making a run for it. Yet I stayed. I had no energy for battle, and
I was not ready to meet what lay beyond my cell.

I inspected
the tray. Some toast and fresh fruit had been prepared for me.
There was also a goblet, full and warm, and instantly, I knew what
was in it. Without giving it a second thought, I grabbed the
goblet, and drank the warm, thick liquid, feeling it slip down the
back of my throat until it was empty. I savoured the taste. It was
not like Alex or Leonid, but it sure was good. It satisfied the
increasing thirst I had tried hard to ignore. Tucking into the
fruit and toast, I did not pay much attention to the spectator that
had taken up a permanent residence at the end of my bed.

“
Are you hungry, too?” I asked, throwing a piece of toast in
the direction of the dark brown mouse.

It did not
hesitate. It picked up the piece of food, and started to nibble on
it. It made me smile. I was not alone, after all. A short time
later, Afanas returned, and brought with him some clothes and basic
essentials. He paused, looking at me.

“
I do believe you look rather peaky today. Are you feeling
okay? Were the refreshments to your liking?” he asked as pleasantly
as he could.

“
Yeah. The food was great, the blood even better. I’m just
not feeling one hundred percent. I think it’s the lack of daylight,
and the need to be a bit more sanitary, but otherwise, I’m just
great.” Sarcasm flew with the last few words.

“
Mmm, not much I can do about the sunlight. However, I
believe these may be of some use to you,” he said.

He handed me
jeans, a sweatshirt, socks, and underwear. The toiletries were
fabulous. My favourite coconut shampoo and conditioner combo were
accompanied by my toothbrush, toothpaste, some hair serum, gloss,
body moisturizer, and my favourite Lancôme perfume.

I smiled.

“
Ah, you are
so much more beautiful when you smile,” he commented.

“
Thank you. I didn’t expect any of this.” I was so overcome
with emotion that I cried.

“
Shush, come now, dearest Giselle.” He put his arms around
me. “As I’ve said before, do not burden yourself with tears. They
do not help. You must stay strong. I will do all I can, but you
must help me.”

“
How, Afanas? How can I do anything, when all I do is sit
here alone hour after hour? I don’t have the strength any more.
Besides, I stink like a vagrant, and have the worst case of dog
breath ever.” I tried to laugh.

Afanas tried
his best to console me. It was pointless. I was so consumed by my
own miserable existence that I did not realise how sincere he was
being. He got up, and made his way to the door.

Turning back
to me, he said, “Remember, Giselle, you are bigger than this. I
know none of this was of your choosing, but you must find the
strength and courage to see this through. I believe you are a lot
stronger than you give yourself credit for. In time, you will
overcome your weaknesses, and you will find great
power.”

I sat there,
dumbfounded by his confidence in me. I was not sure if I wanted to
laugh or cry, but one thing I was sure of, and that was my
friendship with Afanas.

Chapter Seventeen

I HAD
ONCE
read in one of my father’s many
books that, ‘In the darkest hour, the soul is replenished, and
given strength to continue and endure.’ I used to think it made no
sense whatsoever, but now after hearing what Afanas had said, I
believed I was in my darkest hour, and needed my soul to restore
itself. Somehow, I was going to achieve that. Of course, I had no
clue as to how I was going to do it, but I had to trust my
instincts. Not forgetting Afanas’s promise to assist me, I felt a
jolt of courage surge within me.

A few hours
later, the door to my cell opened, and in came the shadow, his eyes
glaring at me. He stood at the foot of my bed, watching me as I
scuttled further back. Another set of eyes came in behind him, his
silhouette less visible, but his eyes more menacing. They both
remained silent, peering at me. They made me feel uncomfortable,
and almost forgetting my earlier promise to myself, I scrambled off
the bed, and stood just inches away from the first
shadow.

“
What do you
want?” I asked.

He chortled
to himself
, and then speaking to the
other, he mocked me. “And this is supposed to be our
Queen?”

“
If I am to
be your Queen, then maybe you ought to show me some respect,” I
angrily retaliated.

“
How can we? You are a joke. Look at you. When was the last
time you saw your own reflection?”

“
Well, let’s see . . . I have been kept here, in this damp
shit hole for a while now, so I guess you know the ‘facilities’
aren’t exactly crying out for an award anytime soon. Maybe if I was
treated to the simple luxury of a toilet and shower, then perhaps I
would be more presentable. Or don’t you want your Queen to have
access to the world that lies beyond that door?” I hissed as I made
my way to the door.