Without Limits: Austin (Rugged Riders Book 4) (3 page)

“Ready to go home?” He buckled his seatbelt and then plugged my address into his GPS navigator.

“Yeah. I think I’ll crash as soon as I reach the bed.”

“For the record, if you need any help, all you have to do is ask me.” He put the car in reverse and backed out of the reserved parking space.

“You’ve done enough to help me. I forgave you a long time ago and there wasn’t anything to forgive. We both moved on.”

It took him less time to reach my apartment complex than it did it was taking the bus. And just under fifteen minutes later, he was in front of my unit.

My car was gone when I got there.

“Wow,” I exclaimed. “That was quick.”

Austin smiled. “I pay my guy very well. You should receive a call from him in the morning.”

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

He maneuvered the BMW into a parking space, turned off the engine, and then got out to walk me to my front door.

“So, do you live alone?” he asked just as we reached my door.

I nodded. “Yeah, ever since Rick and I separated, I’ve been on my own.”

“And your parents?”

“They both retired a few months after the wedding. They moved to their vacation home in Charleston and they haven’t returned since. Of course, they offered me to come stay with them for a while to get through the hard times, but I think I just need some time to myself.”

“Understood. As long as you’re safe.”

“I’m fine, really.”

“And income-wise?”

“I’m fine,” I said, picking at the ends of my dress.

“You haven’t changed, have you?” he asked softly.

“Is that a rhetorical question?”

“When you lie, you bite your bottom lip first,” he said.

“I’m not lying. I’m not living the lifestyle that I used to, but I’m fine with what I have.”

“I want to help you get back on your feet, just like you helped me when you showed me what love was all about.”

I turned slightly in my seat. “But don’t you see my issue with this? If you cared anything about love, you would’ve never left me to wonder what I did to turn you away.”

“Valerie, I left because your parents begged me to leave you alone.”

My mouth parted and my breath rushed quickly from my lungs. “What?”

“Your parents. They said they had big plans for you and didn’t want homeless trash dating their daughter.”

“No.” I shook my head. “My mom would never say that.”

“She didn’t, but she was there when your dad told me this. I’m sure your mom would’ve expressed herself differently, but I could tell she felt the same.”

“When did this happen?”

“About a week before I got signed on with the team.”

I pressed my fingers to my lips. “I remember. We hadn’t seen much of each other that week. My aunt had just flown down from New York to show me what she learned at the design school in Paris.”

“Yes, you were well on your way to becoming your own boss just like you’ve always wanted.”

“Why didn’t you just say something?”

“Because I believed them.”

I sighed. “Are you serious?”

“Come on, Valerie.” He held up his arms. “I was a mess back then. You were turned down an internship with one of the best seamstresses in the city because she saw us together and she knew I was a criminal.”

I pressed my lips together knowing this was the truth.

He continued, “I could never forgive myself for being the person who ruined that opportunity for you.”

“You didn’t ruin it for me.”

“In the letter, the reason for denial began with ‘due to your involvement with a convicted criminal…’” he said. “Have you forgotten?”

“Maybe she turned me down just because I wasn’t cut out for that work yet and she just needed a reason to do it.”

“No, Valerie. It was clear why you were denying a spot in her school. My uncle or me had never been welcome in this town. I don’t know why he stayed other than the fact that he had a guaranteed job down at the car shop.”

“You’ve always wanted to leave. I get that, but we were supposed to leave together,” I said.

“If I couldn’t forgive myself for being the reason you were denied something, do you think I could live with myself if I continued being the reason you couldn’t advance. Valerie, I had a record. Burglary. Breaking and entering. Assault. I was a criminal.”

“
Was.
And I don’t even know that I’d call you a criminal. You did what you had to do to survive. I would’ve done it too. You were barely an adult. What choice did you have if the crimes were committed when you were a minor with your adult uncle guiding you?”

“You’re right. I did what I had to do, but I knew right from wrong then and I understood what I was doing was against the law.”

My head began to throb and I pressed my fingers to my temples.

“You okay?” he asked, slipping his hand around my waist.

“Yeah, it’s just been a long day.”

“Then you should go in and get some rest.”

I retrieved my keys for my handbag and opened my front door. “Thanks again. For everything.”

“I’ll catch you later.”

I paused before escaping inside and did something I didn’t give much thought too. I took his hands and then drew him close to me for a hug. He embraced me back and I could’ve simply melted in his arms. I pulled away to catch a familiar lop-sided grin on his face. I realized how much I missed him.

“It’s good to see you again,” I said.

“Ditto. I hope we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

I smiled. “Dinner would be nice.”

“Is that a yes then to a dinner date with me?”

“You can pick me up at six-thirty tomorrow since I don’t have a car,” I told him.

“I love it when you’re demanding.”

I blushed. “Good night, Austin.”

“G’night, Valerie.”

A
ustin rang
my doorbell five minutes early. I had just slipped into my shoes when he arrived, so I had no time to sit idle, which was a good thing. All day at work, I couldn’t help but anticipate my date with the ex who ran away with my heart. But I swore to myself that I wouldn’t be vulnerable again. He was only human, just like me. I’d forgiven him, but I’d never give my heart to another like that again.

“Hi,” I said, after swinging the door open.

He stood there in black slacks and a collared blue shirt. His hair was groomed well. It suited him, but I’d always preferred the just-out-of-bed look on him. This classier version of him had me smiling, but under the layers of maturity, I knew the real Austin was deep down inside. The bad boy who gave no shits and did whatever he wanted. The alpha male that had brought out the fun, adventurous side in me all those years ago.

“Damn, you look amazing,” he said.

“Thanks. You clean up nice yourself, too.”

“Glad you like it. Ready?”

I nodded.

He held out his hand, pulling me outside with him. There was no going back or changing my mind at the last minute. After all these years, finally I could talk to Austin again—in person.

Once inside his BMW, I thanked him for having my car serviced.

“They brought my car up to the dress shop right after lunch. Apparently, I needed a new battery. I’m glad that was all. I don’t think I could afford a major repair right now,” I said. “Speaking of…how much do I owe you?”

He glanced over at me. “This date.”

I laughed. “Fine.”

Less than a half hour later, we pulled up in front of Veleros Italian Bistro and Grill, an intimate restaurant just outside the city. I had been here before, but only on special occasion. The five-star service they were known for was very intimate and the food prices were sky high.

The greeter came out behind the podium to welcome us inside. “Do you have a reservation,” he asked.

“No I don’t. I need a table for two?”

“Sir, we’re only open for reservations. Without reservations-” A younger woman tapped the greeter on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear. “Oh!” He then laughed. “Why didn’t you say anything? Right this way, Mr. Clark.”

“How did you do that?” I whispered to Austin.

“Do what?”

“You know…get us a table without reservation.”

“I’m part owner. This is my first time eating here though.”

Austin pulled out my seat for me and I sat down.

Seconds after the greeter made sure the seating was okay with Austin, the waiter arrived at their table and placed a couple of menus on the table. Moments later she came back with glasses of water and took our drink orders.

I picked up the menu and skimmed the dishes.

“Strange,” I said. “But I don’t remember you owning this restaurant.”

“The deal happened months ago.”

“Deal?”

After taking a few sips of his water, Austin sat back in his chair.

“About a year and a half before I retired, I knew I wanted to still earn money. Not necessarily work, but gain profits. So, I started investing in my own business venture early. I’m an angel investor.”

“An angel what?”

“I invest in different companies. Mostly start-ups, but occasionally I’ll take on seasoned businesses looking to expand. Owners and inventors seek capital they don’t have and I provide the funds. My return on investment either comes in the form of a loan or ownership stake in the business.”

“Oh…” I nodded. “Things are starting to make sense now.”

“I thought they would once you gave me the time of day to explain,” he said.

The waiter came back at the moment with our glass of water and bottle of wine and empty wine glasses. We watched as the waiter popped the cork on the bottle and first filled Austin’s glass and then mine. “Are you ready to order, Mr. Clark?”

Austin looked at me.

“Any suggestions,” I asked. “I’m not picky.

“I’ve heard the five course meal for two is popular,” Austin said. “We can get a variety and share, if you like.”

We confirmed our selections and the waiter took the menus away. While sipping on white and enjoying some appetizers, we made small talk about our work lives. I learned more about how Austin had earned the bulk of his money outside of racing by investing. He’d been so busy during competition season that he’d hardly had a chance to enjoy and indulge.

“And now I just want to stop for a moment and enjoy it all,” he said, settling back in his chair.

“You deserve it, you’ve worked so hard,” I said.

The servers began bringing out the plated selections. We wasted no time digging in. The food was amazingly delicious. The dishes were even more appetizing than I remember from my past visits here with Rick. Of course, I didn’t want to have any thoughts about Rick right now so I did my best of take my mind elsewhere, which was easy. All I had to do was take one look at Austin and I forgot everything except the fact that this was our night to clear the air, so to speak.

“What?” He grinned as he finished chewing a piece of steak.

“Nothing.” I stuck my fork into my salad plate and stuffed my mouth.

“This brings back memories,” he said.

“Indulge me.”

“Us food sharing all the time. We liked much of the same things.”

I smiled. “I remember.”

“I was too broke to afford big meals like this back then.” He sounded like he regretted it.

“Those were the best days of my life. You introduced me to something so informal and you were so random. Yet, here you are and you’ve really matured.”

“But I haven’t changed. I’m still as random as they come.”

“Of course you are,” I said. “Considering how you made your introduction back into town and me finding out that I had an investor at the last minute, proves that you’re still a heat-of-the-moment kind of guy.”

He reached across the table and touched my fingers where they rested on the salad bowl. Before I knew it he had taken my hand in his and was now studying me intently.

“Thank you,” he said.

“For what?”

“For giving me the time of day when no one else would.”

“Come on.” I laughed nervously. “We’re adults now. Why would I give you the cold shoulder over something that happened years ago?”

“Well, thanks for that too, but what I really meant was when we first got acquainted with each other. When everyone knew me as the poor kid from across the tracks living in a mobile home on a deserted lot. You were the only one that didn’t give a shit about that.”

I sighed. “I gave a shit about it and I gave a shit about you because I saw something in you that wanted more. And you deserved it. Not only did I want to help you, I wanted to be there for you.”

I lowered my gaze to the table, but he gently slipped his fingers under my chin and lifted it back up gently.

“When you left me, I thought maybe you didn’t need or want my help anymore,” I continued. “I didn’t realize my parents were part of the reason you were dissuaded from staying.”

“It was my stupid decision too. Once I worked up the nerve to make things right and to come back and explain, you were already spoken for. I saw what Rick had done for you and what he could provide for you at that moment, I knew it was for the best. Rick was stable and I wasn’t. I couldn’t pull you into NASCAR. You would’ve been on the road constantly and not pursuing your dreams. I was happy for you, but I wasn’t really happy. If that makes sense…”

“About Rick…I turned to him because he was a friend. It’s not easy not to love a friend,” I said. “And I just…he was there for me.” I bit my lip in frustration.

“Look, you don’t have to explain any more than that. You did what you needed to do to move on. My grudge isn’t with you.”

I caught on to a bit of indifference in his tone. “Then with who?”

He remained silent and ran his fingers through his hair a few times.

“With Rick? You’re angry with Rick?” I pressed my lips together, swallowing down my suspicions.

He shook his head. “Not angry. Just…” He let go of my hand and straightened in his seat again. “There are things you still don’t know about what went on between Rick and I after I left.”

“Oh?” I frowned. “I know he’d tried out for some of the same teams and still didn’t get picked—not even for pit crew, but what do you mean? After you left, what happened?”

The waiter came back to ask if we needed anything else. After checking with me, Austin told her no and waved her away.

“Are you going to tell me,” I asked when she was gone.

He visibly swallowed and rubbed his palm over the back of his neck. “Yes, but don’t you want to enjoy dessert first before we leave? I have another surprise for you.”

I hesitated a bit before I said, “There’s no use in spoiling the night before it really ends. Let’s order chocolate cake and share it.”

He grinned. “My favorite.”

After enjoying the cake together, I didn’t want the night to end. I didn’t want to rush it, but I knew he was holding something inside that he didn’t really want to share. Something that would open old wounds for both him and myself. But I initiated an end to our dinner anyway and soon we were outside of the restaurant under the humid night sky.

Austin offered me his hand. “Wanna walk across the street? There should be a nice view of the moonlight on the river by now.”

“I’d love to.”

The night was relatively quiet with only a few couples littered about every few yards as we walked the distance to reach the park across the street and the river’s edge. Our silence gave me some time to think about what Austin had revealed tonight. There was no reason not to believe him. I, of all people, knew that my parents had never really liked Austin. Not at all. But they misunderstood him. Heck yeah, I had already agreed with them that I’d been too young back then to run off with a man older than me, but that gave them no right to scare him off for good. They had no problems when Rick proposed to me and Austin and Rick were only a year apart. In fact, they encouraged our union whenever they got a chance.

“What now, Austin,” I asked as we paused next to a tree and a bench.

“All these years, I’ve been imagining a different outcome for the two of us. It irks me to not know what could have been versus what happened,” he said.

“Do you mean what we allowed to happen?”

“Yes.”

We sat down on the bench close to each other.

“Did I come between you and Rick?” I asked. I partly knew the answer to that question, but I only needed confirmation.

“No, the friendship between Rick and I was rocky before I knew he was in love with you.”

“Wait a minute. You knew?”

Austin nodded. “It was before me going to NASCAR and before getting confirmation from your parents that they never liked me. He thought I was just in it for the sex. At least that’s what he said and accused me of. We argued a long time after that and then that shit happened with your parents and that’s when he swooped right on in. I would almost say he planned it.” He sighed. “But all that is over and done with now.”

“My God, Austin, I didn’t know,” I said.

“Rick wouldn’t have told you for good and obvious reasons and I agreed with your parents on one thing. I wanted what was bet for you.”

“But how did you get invited to the wedding?”

Austin gave me a knowing look. “Rick invited me. I knew he was doing it to get back at me and prove that he got you in the end. I doubt he thought I’d show up. I decided to own my loss and actually came. I don’t even think he noticed. He was so infatuated with you on wedding day.”

“This is so weird.” I dropped my forehead in my palms. “I’m sorry. That was just petty of him.”

“It’s all right, really. I was this close…” he demonstrated with his fingers “to seeing you again in person.”

I crossed my legs, turned toward him, and said, “You didn’t have to give me money in order for me to pay attention to you.”

“I know.” He shrugged. “I didn’t want you to have to worry about where your income was coming from.”

“That’s nice of you, but I had plans.”

“Like what?”

“Like selling my work exclusively online until I could afford to get another store. I’ve never done it before, but I just launched my website so I hope to have another income stream by December.”

He smiled. “I have faith you’ll do well.”

“I’m going to pay you back as quickly as I can.”

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to tell you that your loan has been settled in full. With this being the weekend, you might not see any paperwork until mid next week.”

“What?”

“The bank just needs some time to process the release.”

“Did you just say my loan was paid in full?”

“By who,” I asked.

He paused for a moment and then commented, “An angel?”

I pursed my lips and assessed him carefully. “I get the feeling that you’re playing games.”

“I assure you, I’m not. The shop is yours.”

“Austin, you know I’m grateful for this and cannot thank you enough, but there is no way that I could feel good about this,” I said.

“Why not?” He slipped his arm behind me, resting it on the back of the bench. “I once told you that I’d do anything for you. This time that’s passed between us while we got our lives together hasn’t changed anything.”

I sighed. “I thought I was certain four years ago that your statement meant that you wouldn’t leave me for any reason whatsoever, but now I know better. What do you really want from me, Austin?”

“
Just you.
I came back for you after I made that mistake only to realize that I was too late. I’m staying in town, but not just for the hell of it. I made a temporary residence here to finalize my uncle’s things, but I can’t leave here without you. Not again.”

I reached for his face and slid my palm across the side of his face. I couldn’t help myself. My fingers traced along his jawline and chin. He turned his face into my palm and kissed it. My thumb ended up against his lips and he wasted no time parting his lips and taking the digit inside.

One contact with his tongue and my need for something more intensified. He took my wrist, moving my fingers across his lips until they were all tingling from his touch.