Wolf Moon (32 page)

Regardless of all I’d
observed, I knew
something
was
bothering him, and it upset me when he chose not to confide in me. Did I think
he
regretted what happened? No. He saved
our lives. Considering my recent epiphany, there was no logical reason he’d
regret that…especially if I didn’t. But
something
was going on, and that had me even more concerned than my lack of remorse for
Karl. I could tell by the way he looked at me, or the way he’d pull away
emotionally whenever we were alone. He always tried to be gentle and discreet
about it, though, saying how he had to have a shower or go talk to Marcus. I
wasn’t buying it. He could barely look at me, and I felt like there was an
ever-widening chasm between us as he became more and more distant.

Christmas music filled
the house as I emerged from our bedroom after a long, hot shower. My hair was
still damp as it hung down my back. The smell of fresh apple cider infused the
air, forcing me to pick up speed and bound down the stairs excitedly. It reminded
me of home. My favorite holiday tradition was sitting around the tree with my
family, sipping warm cider.

The sky outside was dark
already, and Nick had gone out with Jackson to check the perimeter hours ago,
even though the Pack hadn’t sensed or seen a vampire in almost two weeks. I
wanted to believe they were giving us a reprieve for the holidays, but somehow,
I knew that couldn’t be true. They were probably off lying in wait as they
studied our routines and waited for the exact moment to strike. I’d learned
just how cold and calculated they were in my time here, and I knew we couldn’t
let our guard down, not even for a moment. Someone was always on watch at the
manor while others were running perimeter sweeps. I couldn’t be sure when the
last time Marcus even slept was—if he’d slept at all.

Zach and Corbin were in
the house with us while the other guys were outside, running checks. They’d
cross paths occasionally, but for the most part, they remained focused on
keeping the house secure.

I said hello to Corbin as
I walked past him in the foyer on my way to the kitchen. Miranda and
Layla
were just finishing up the dishes while Roxanne and
Colby sat at the island and laughed about something over mugs of fresh cider. I
smiled; I had to admit that Roxanne was a lot more tolerable now that she
didn’t harbor any resentment toward me…or,
as
much
resentment.

“Merry Christmas Eve!”
Colby exclaimed upon seeing me.

I smiled and returned the
sentiment, accepting a mug of cider from Miranda. “Thank you,” I said quietly,
sitting on the stool next to Colby and sipping my drink slowly.

I could feel the mood in
the room shift almost immediately, and I knew, without a doubt, that I was the
cause of it. They’d picked up on my emotions, despite my best efforts to keep
them hidden.

“What’s wrong?” Colby
asked softly.

I glanced up to find all
eyes on me. “Nothing,” I lied. “I’m fine.”

Roxanne scoffed—not
to be rude, but to call my bluff. “Say that once more…with feeling this time.”

I sighed despondently.
“I’m sure it’s just my over-active imagination,” I tried again.

Miranda’s eyebrows pulled
together inquisitively, and
Layla
leaned forward on
the island, curious.

I held my breath, trying
to think of how to word my concerns without sounding like some scared, insecure
little girl whose boyfriend was pushing her away. “Nick’s been acting…weird.”

“Well, that’s not exactly
news,” Roxanne quipped, garnering a discerning glare from Miranda. “What? He’s
always been a little on edge—even before he returned from Arizona.”

I shook my head and
jumped to her defense. “She’s right. This, though, is different. I just feel
like he’s not being himself. He’s grown…distant over the last few days.”

Miranda offered me a sad
smile. “Brooke, honey, you’ve both been a little detached from everything ever
since—”

“We killed Karl,” I
finished for her, my tone steady and even as though it was just another day. “I
know.” Pausing, I remembered the look in Nick’s eyes every time he looked at
me, or how he hadn’t gone out of his way to hold me or touch me in any way. “It
feels like I’ve done something to upset him. Like maybe my involvement with
what happened to Karl is too much for him.”

I was met with nothing
but radio silence. It was deafening to the point where I swore I heard that
high-pitched ringing in my ears.

Roxanne was the first to
speak. “You think he’s upset with
you
about what happened?”

I shrugged. “It would
explain why he’s barely looked at me or why he rushes from the room with some
flimsy excuse whenever we’re together.”

The four of them offered
me looks of sympathy, and I had to turn away as my face flamed. “Stop it,” I
commanded weakly, fidgeting with my hands. “I don’t need your pity. I know how
stupid it sounds, how meek I must seem.”

Miranda’s warm hand
enclosed over mine as my eyes warmed with tears. “He’s not upset with
you
.” I looked up, shocked and confused
to be hearing this. “He’s upset with himself.”

“What? You can’t possibly
know that.”

Miranda nodded once. “I
can, and do. He killed someone…in front of you.”

“He’s killed in front of
me before,” I explained, remembering the way Samantha Turner’s body turned to
ash in that alley back in Scottsdale.

“A vampire,” Colby
pointed out. “Not one of our own.”

Miranda quickly cut in.
“Even if that were relevant,” she said, referring to Colby’s statement, “That’s
not the problem.”

Exasperated, I pulled my
hands through my hair. “Then what is?” I was starting to think that they knew
something I didn’t. I was just about to ask what it was when a throat cleared
from the doorway, startling us all. I turned to find an incredibly forlorn-looking
Nick standing in the doorway.

I slowly turned in my
chair and stood. “Nick…”

He cut me off as he
reached for my hand.
A warmth
spread through me where
our skin touched, and for the first time in two weeks, I felt a little comfort
seep in. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

I
followed Nick outside. We
walked through the huge yard, past the snow-covered tennis courts, and toward
the gazebo ruins. The smell of burnt cedar still hung in the cool winter air.
It reminded me of campfire…until I remembered the true horror of that night.

“I’m sorry,” Nick finally
said, turning to face me. “I never meant for you to think…” He paused, seemingly
tongue-tied. “I’m not upset with you.”

My mouth opened and
closed a couple times before I was finally able to speak. “Then what’s wrong?”

“I killed him.”

“You’re upset because
he’s gone?”

Nick seemed surprised.
“What?
Of course not.
Karl got
exactly
what he deserved.”

Confused, I pressed
further. “Then what’s been going on with you?”

Sighing deeply, Nick
looked anywhere but at me. There was still
a sadness
in his eyes. “I’m ashamed of how rashly I acted, and I can’t bear to see the
disappointment in your eyes.”

“Disappointment?” I whispered.
“Nick,
no
.”

Nick cut me off. I could
feel waves of anger emanating off his body. “I killed him in front of you…after
you told me it wasn’t what you wanted.” There was a long stretch of tense
silence as he paced in the snow. “You’ve been having such a hard time adjusting
to what it is we do—what we
are
—and
then I go and do that?”

“I’ve seen you kill
before,” I gently reminded him, my voice wavering a little.

Nick scoffed. “A vampire.
This was different.” He sounded like Colby, and I struggled to suppress a
smirk.

“How?” I failed to see
the difference, and I unexpectedly felt my own inner turmoil continue to wane.
“The way I see it, Karl had a choice to respect Pack Law. He broke those rules
last month when he attacked me. He was no better than the soulless creatures
you’ve been hunting all these years. He was a monster, and he needed to be put
down.”

Nick looked surprised. I
waited for the torment to leave his eyes, but it never did, and the distance
remained between us. “You say these things, but you don’t really believe them,”
he stated. “You didn’t ask for any of this, and I’m so sorry for that. For everything.”

“He gave you no choice,”
I interrupted. “I don’t blame you, and I’m most certainly not disappointed.” I
stepped toward him and used a little more force than I expected to coax his
eyes to mine. He remained reluctant. “You saved my life…both our lives.” I
paused, taking a deep breath. “You told me that this is what we are—what
we do. Don’t have an attack of conscience on me now. I need you to help me
through this.”

Nick laughed, but it
sounded dark and humorless. Before I could question it, he pressed his lips to
my forehead. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against my skin. “If I could take it all
back…”

 
I pulled back and looked up into his
eyes. “But you can’t. This is my life now—all of it. Do I wish I could go
back and avoid that night in the park?” I fell silent and thought about my own
question for a second before sighing. “If I’m being completely honest with
myself, I don’t…” I sighed, conflicted. “I don’t know. I’ve had to give up so
much, and it hasn’t been easy.” I shrugged. “But it all led me back to you.”

His eyes held mine, his
stare so intense that I wondered if there was something else that was bothering
him, but he smiled and shook it off before taking my hand. “There’s so much
more we need to talk about—some things I need to get off my
chest—but first, I’d like to give you your present.”

“My present?” His grin
widened, rivaling that of the Cheshire cat, as he pulled me toward the house.
“It’s not even Christmas yet.”

Nick opened the door and
instead of taking me to the main sitting room, he grabbed his keys from the top
of the cabinet by the front door. “No, but it arrived a day earlier than I expected,
and it would be a shame to make you wait until tomorrow.”

The drive down the road
was silent. My curiosity was piqued. I couldn’t think of what Nick might have
gotten me, and I definitely tried to figure it out by reading his expression.
Sadly, he gave nothing away as he kept his eyes firmly glued to the road. His
poker face had improved.

When the truck started to
slow, I noticed a turn off. Nick took it, and we drove down a winding road
before stopping at a set of gates similar to those at the manor. Nick opened
his window and punched in a code. The gates opened and then closed behind us,
and we continued down the curved driveway and toward a large house with some of
the lights on. It was nowhere near the size of the manor, but it was still
larger than most. Unlike the stone and brick structure of the manor, this place
was a glorified log cabin, the picturesque mountains its backdrop.

“Nick,” I whispered as he
pulled the truck to a stop. “Where are we? You didn’t buy me a house for
Christmas, did you?”

Nick laughed, opening his
door and walking around while I stepped out into the snow. “No. This is Vince
and
Layla’s
new place.”

He led me to the front
door, but stopped before opening it. Curious, I turned to him. “I know you’ve
had some shitty luck since coming here”—he turned the knob and swung the
door open—“I just hope this brings you a little happiness.”

I didn’t have much time
to react before I heard the scream. It only took a second for me to register it
as one of elation and not fear, and it took even less time for me to realize
that it was my mother who had thrown her arms around me.

“M-mom?” I stammered,
pulse pounding, ears ringing. Her blonde hair was soft against my cheek and
smelled of citrus. I glanced up behind her to find my father standing only a
few feet away. His green eyes were glistening, and his smile was wide.
Everything about this moment felt like a dream. Was it even really happening?

Mom released her hold on
me, cupping my face in her hands as she looked into my eyes. Her smile was
contagious, but it didn’t take long before confusion flashed across her face.
She looked somewhat curious about something, and it didn’t take me long to make
the connection: my eyes. They looked different since the night I was attacked,
and she was noticing.

Behind me, Nick cleared
his throat, and I was happy to break eye contact. “I’m going to go and grab
your bags from the truck.”

Confused, I turned my
head, forcing my mother to relinquish her hold on me. “My bags?”

“I took the liberty of
packing you a few things earlier.” He disappeared outside while I said hello to
my dad.

“It’s so good to see you,
Brookie
,” he said, kissing the top of my head as he
hugged me firmly. I didn’t even care that he used the nickname I loathed. I
squeezed him a little tighter. “We’ve missed you so much.”

I tightened my arms
around him, curling my fingers into the back of his plaid button-up shirt and inhaling
deeply. The sandalwood scent of his regular cologne filled my head with
pleasant memories of the past—holidays, working side-by-side on a case
before I was promoted. Having them here for the holidays was the best gift Nick
could have given me after everything we’d been through. I couldn’t wait to
visit with them and tell them as much as I could about my life here. I knew I
missed them, but I hadn’t really realized just how much until this moment.
It was like a piece of me had been missing this entire time, and
now that they were here
,
everything fell into place
.
I chose not to focus on the obvious question: what would happen when they went
home?

Nick came back a few
minutes later with two huge bags in his hands. He headed up the stairs and
disappeared down the hall while I looked around from the main foyer. Mom took
my hand and led me to the right where the living room was. The inside of the
house gave off the log cabin feel just as much as the outside thanks to the
walls, and there was a fire going in the large brick fireplace along the far
side of the room. There was a huge Christmas tree in front of the
floor-to-ceiling windows, and the view of the mountains was just as picturesque
as it was back at the manor. I suddenly found myself a little envious that
Vince and
Layla
would be living here
on their own
. Could I one day have enough confidence and
control in the wolf to live apart from the Pack?
Maybe with
Nick?

Mom and I sat on the
sleek leather couch while Dad took a seat on the matching
arm
chair
, and I sat there, still in disbelief that this was reality. “When
did you guys get in?” I finally asked.

“This morning,” Dad
replied. “Nick picked us up from the airport and brought us right here.”

This meant that Nick
wasn’t really running a perimeter check this morning like I’d thought. Under
any other circumstances, I might be upset about being misled, but I found it in
myself to make an exception.

“This place isn’t yours,
then?” Mom inquired. “I mean, if Nick brought bags for the both of you…?”

I nodded. “It belongs to
some friends of his…
ours
,” I quickly
amended.

Mom appeared relieved for
a moment, and then her cheeks filled with color. “So, the nursery upstairs
shouldn’t concern us?”

I laughed, and I could
feel my own skin warm with embarrassment. “No. It shouldn’t.”

“It wasn’t that I was
snooping,” she added on. “After putting our things in the guest room, I was only
looking for the washroom and opened the wrong door.”

“It’s fine, Mom,” I
assured her. “Really. Vince and
Layla
—our
friends—are expecting in a few months. They’re busy over the holidays,
and must have given Nick permission to use their new place when he invited you
guys to stay with us.”

Mom laughed lightly. “It
worried me a little, is
all.
I don’t want you to move
into anything serious too quickly. Especially after—”

“I know,” I interrupted
her. I knew this conversation had to happen eventually, but I honestly didn’t
think it would be within minutes of being reunited. “We haven’t… That is to
say… Nick and I aren’t…” My nerves had gotten the best of me, and I continued
to stumble and stammer through an explanation. “It’s not serious.”

“But it’s something?” Dad
asked.

I suddenly felt like I
was being interrogated. “I don’t know… I guess it is, yeah. Or maybe it will
be.” Sighing, I paused. “It’s early and confusing, but there’s history there,
and I’m
happy
.”

A smile of understanding
slowly spread across Dad’s face. “Then that’s all that matters.”

Wanting my mother’s
acceptance as much as my father’s, I turned to her. She regarded me carefully—almost
guarded—before she nodded and offered me a half-smile. “All we’ve ever
wanted was your happiness, honey,” she started. “I only worry because I was
afraid you’d jump in too fast. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I
couldn’t bear to see you go through that again.”

I instantly knew this
might not
just
be about my moving on
so soon after David’s death. She was talking about when Nick left
me before and how devastated that had left me
.

“It won’t happen again,
Mrs. Leighton,” Nick said from behind us. I admit, I was a little startled, but
soon his presence calmed me. He was trying to assuage their concerns as only he
could after what he’d done back then. “I was a stupid kid back then who was
dealing with the loss of a friend. I handled everything poorly, and if I could
take it back, I would.”

Nick moved into the
living room completely, setting down a tray with cups and a
tea
pot
. I smiled at his thoughtfulness. He sat in the chair next to my
dad’s and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “I don’t expect your
forgiveness or even your trust right away, but I’ll do whatever it takes to
earn it back. My feelings for your daughter haven’t changed. There’s still so
much to work through, not to mention everything that happened back in
Scottsdale before we left.”

I swallowed thickly,
shifting anxiously in my seat as I flashed back to the night David died. But
then I remembered everything since—how Nick had mentored me, tried to
teach me everything there was to know about this new world, how he took care of
me, defended me—and I smiled warmly in his direction. I placed my hand on
his forearm to show my support, and he covered it with his other hand. Trying
to contain the swoony
school-girl
enthusiasm that
unexpectedly came over me, my gaze flitted from Nick to my mom, and then to my
dad. There was no anger in my parents’ expressions, but there were definitely
reservations.

Understandably, given our
history.

The tension in the room
cleared, and for the first time, my mom offered Nick a smile. It still seemed
hesitant, but it was a start.

Nick clapped his hands
together, clearing his throat. “Well, I’ve got a pot of hot water and a selection
of hot chocolate and tea if anyone’s in the mood.”