Wolfsong (42 page)

“You suck, Ox,” Chris muttered. “Worst Alpha ever.”

Robbie growled at him.

“But
you
,” she said, poking me hard in the chest. “
This
is all
your
fault.”

“How is this
my
fault?” I asked, somewhat offended.

“Werewolves!” she shouted at me.

“Yes,” I said. “It’s also been six months since you found out about them. Why are you doing this now?”

She blinked at me. “I needed time to
process
.”

“Okay,” I said. “And now you’ve processed.”

“Werewolves,” she repeated.

“Werewolves,” I agreed.

“You knew. This whole time.”

“Not the
whole
time.”

“Yeah,” Rico said. “It was only
almost
the whole time.”

Jessie poked me in the chest again as I glared at Rico. He just winked at me.

“Are you one of them?” she demanded.

“No,” I said slowly.

“So you’re human.”

“No,” I said, even slower.

“What the hell does
that
mean?”

“It means that I’m not quite—”

“Are you going to bite me?” she asked.

“You didn’t mind it when we used to—”

“Not the time, Ox!”

“Right,” I said hastily. “I’m still not very good at jokes. Or figuring out when is the best time to tell them.”

“You can’t bite me!”

“I’m not going to! I’m not a were—”

“You’re
something
.”

I was getting a headache. “Not something that can change you.”

“You changed my brother. He told me. He told me he can
feel
you. That he’s part of you and your…
pack
.” She spat that last word like it was curse.

And yeah, she had me there.

Shit.

She poked me a third time. “You will tell me
everything
.”

“Right now?” I asked, trying not to whine. I was the goddamn
Alpha
. Why was she telling me what to do?

“Right.
Now
.”

Goddammit.

So I did.

It took a few hours. And I may have stumbled on a few parts (and glossed over others, because even though it had been two years, the deaths of Thomas and my mother were still sharp enough to cut), but I tried to leave as little out as possible. I felt I owed it to her, for all the shit I’d put her through since I’d known her. To give her credit, she rarely interrupted, and only when she didn’t understand something and needed it explained further. The longer I talked (more than I’d ever talked before), the quieter she got.

At the end, she stared at me for a long while. My throat was sore, so I didn’t say anything back, waiting for her to decide whatever she was going to do.

Finally, she said, “And all of that truly happened.”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t say much about him.”

I played dumb. “Who?”

She knew, but she said “Joe” anyway.

I tried to swallow down the bitterness that rose like bile. “There isn’t much to say.”

She rolled her eyes. “Aside from the fact that he’s your mate and imprinted on you like you’re some creepy-ass
Twilight
fan fiction?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know what most of that means.”

“I do,” Rico said. “And I’ll admit that’s not something I’m very proud of right now.”

“You have a mystical moon destiny with Joe,” Jessie said, sounding exasperated.

I squinted at her. “A what?”

“Your
thing
. With
Joe
.”

“It’s not—”

She sighed. “God, I am so glad I got out of that when I did.”

“It wasn’t destiny,” I said, ignoring the little jab. “It was a choice. He chose me.”

“And you chose him back. After you found out what it meant.”

I had, but a lot of good that was doing me. So I said nothing.

“Explains a lot,” she said.

“Does it?”

She looked at me as if I was an idiot.

“What?”

She said, “Ox, Joe
hated
me.”

“He didn’t hate you.” Disliked strongly, maybe. But hate? I didn’t think Joe was capable of hate. Not even Richard Collins. Not back then. Now, though. I didn’t know about now. I didn’t know him anymore to say what he was now.

“You’re stupid,” she said seriously. “This whole thing is stupid.”

“Kind of,” I agreed.

“Agreeing with me isn’t going to get you off the hook,” she warned me.

“I know.” Well, I hadn’t known, but I did now. So maybe I wouldn’t have to agree with her as much.

“That explains why you’ve been moping for the last couple of years.”

“I haven’t been
moping
—”

“Kind of moping,” Rico said. “Maybe not all of the time.”

“But most of the time,” Tanner said.

“He stares off into the distance sometimes,” Chris added helpfully. “With his quiet strength. And his angst.”

“I hate all of you,” I said very seriously.

“
I
didn’t say anything,” Robbie said.

“He was never at college,” Jessie said. “So that’s another lie you told me. Told
everyone
.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be a
lie
—”

“Why haven’t you gone looking for him?”

Like that hadn’t crossed my mind before. “I wouldn’t even know where to start. And I promised him I’d stay here. Look after the others. The pack.”

“You wouldn’t be able to find him by your mystical moon connection?”

“My mystical—Jesus. Stop calling it that!”

“He gave you a wolf made of stone that essentially promised him to you forever,” she said flatly. “If that’s not a mystical moon connection, then I don’t know what is.”

“Sort of what it is,” Robbie said, wincing as I glared at him. “Sorry, Ox.”

“So you’re just going to sit here and do nothing,” she said, sounding strangely disappointed.

“I’m not
not
doing nothing.”

“Your English is so good,” Rico said.

“You’re not finding him!”

“He made his choice,” I snapped.

“And you’re just going to let it happen?”

“It’s already
been
happening. Just because you’re finding out about all of this
now
doesn’t mean the rest of us haven’t been dealing with it for
years
.”

“I don’t understand why you haven’t done anything about it. About
him
.”

“What could I have done?” I asked, voice harsh. “There were obviously things that were more important than others.”

For the first time since she’d walked into the shop, Jessie’s face softened. It was close to pity, and I didn’t want that from her.

“Look, it’s—”

“Ox, I don’t know that anything was more important than you.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “Maybe you didn’t see it, but I did. The way he looked at you.” Her smile was sad. “You were everything to him. And I don’t think that’s changed.”

“You can’t know that.” I pulled my hand away. She frowned at me. “We don’t even know if he’s still—” I cut myself off and shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. He’s not here.
They’re
not here. We are. And I have a job to do. Something that I never thought I’d have to do, but there it is. So yes, werewolves are real. Yes, apparently I am the… Alpha. Or something close to it. And I’m sorry you were hurt because of this. But I will make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

“How?” she asked. “You can’t promise anything like that.”

“No,” I said. “But I can do my best. And it’d make things easier if you were one of us.”

“I don’t want to be bitten,” she said quickly. “That’s not—”

“Even a possibility right now,” I said. “But if you agree, if you become part of this, you’ll naturally start to defer to me. I don’t even understand how it works, but it’ll happen.”

“Why don’t we just see how this goes?” Jessie said, but I could already see her agreeing, whether she knew it yet or not.

IT DIDN’T
take her long to decide.

Not that I expected it to.

Elizabeth took her into the forest a week later, scolding us not to follow as she needed to talk to Jessie alone, woman to woman. Jessie looked slightly uncomfortable at the thought, but mostly intrigued, so I let it go. Elizabeth wouldn’t hurt her.

They came back four hours later, flushed and bright and happy. Jessie was laughing and Elizabeth was smiling, the lines around her eyes and mouth less pronounced.

“She’ll do just fine,” Elizabeth said to me, trailing her fingers along my shoulders as she passed me by.

And that was that.

OTHERS CAME
that year.

After the Omegas had taken Jessie, it’d been quiet, though we’d been prepared. Robbie did his part and kept in touch with those above him. The gruff man. Alpha Hughes every now and then, though I think that was getting more and more infrequent given that he was my Beta now. She never asked to speak to me. I never asked to speak to her. I didn’t know how much longer she’d let this go on. Sometimes at night, I’d lie awake and wonder if she’d come and try to take them away from me. Because I wasn’t really what they needed.

She didn’t, though, even though every day I waited for the other shoe to drop.

They still looked for Richard Collins. And Osmond. And Robert Livingstone. They never found them.

And I think they were still looking for Joe too. Because he was an Alpha that had fallen off the grid. It wasn’t so much about bringing him home as much as it was keeping tabs on him.

Robbie assured me he didn’t relay pack business to anyone who wasn’t pack.

I believed him because I trusted him.

He wouldn’t lie to me. Not about that.

I was sure.

But others came again.

Jessie, who had always been a strong woman, refused to ever be the damsel in distress again. She threw herself into the training with the others, soon surpassing the other humans. The look on her brother’s face the first time she swept his feet out from under him with a well-timed swing of a wooden sparring staff was proud and shocked and slightly angry all at the same time. She’d stood above him, grinning, the staff resting against her shoulder, a light sheen of sweat on her forehead.

“Who’s next?” she’d asked as Rico and Tanner tried to quietly leave without getting noticed.

They were noticed.

Ten minutes later, they were both in the dirt, Jessie crowing above them.

So when others came, we were ready.

But they weren’t Omegas.

The first was just a man.

And he brought news of Joe.

I WAS
at the shop late, filling out order invoices for the next month. Chris normally took care of this, but I’d let him off the hook as he’d had a date with a girl from the next town over. It was casual, he’d assured me. At least for now. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if it became more than that. Jessie assured me that it was fine, that she was nice and sweet, and to stop worrying about things that hadn’t happened yet.

It didn’t work that way, but it was a nice thought.

I was contemplating packing up and finishing the rest of the invoices the next day. There were already three threatening texts on my phone, one from Mark, the other two from Elizabeth, telling me that if I didn’t get home within the hour, they’d be coming for me. They weren’t idle threats, so I decided to head out.

Just as I switched off the light, there was a knock at the front door of the shop, a sharp rap against the glass.

I paused.

Whoever it was, they weren’t one of mine.

It was after nine. It probably wasn’t someone looking for an oil change.

I picked up my phone and hesitated just a moment. But it was better to be safe than sorry. I pulled up our group message and sent a single word.

standby

I got responses from everyone within twenty seconds. Even Chris. I was pleased, even as I felt the bonds between us all flare. I pushed as much
CalmPeaceLovePack
back as I could, hoping it’d be enough.

Because it was nothing.

Well. It was probably nothing.

The knock came again.

Whoever it was seemed persistent.

Gordo’s wards were still up.

I had faith in them even if I didn’t have faith in the man who’d cast them.

Not really. Not anymore.

But Gordo had told me that even though he was strong, and even though he was sure of what he could do, magic wasn’t infallible. It wasn’t the be-all and end-all.

Something had to give one day, he’d told me.

But I didn’t have to worry about that. Because he’d be back by then. That’s what he’d told me.

And I had believed him.

I had my crowbar. I never went anywhere without it now. It was an extension of me, and I kept it close at all times. An Alpha kept his pack safe. The crowbar was one of the ways I knew how to do that. I picked it up from where it leaned against my desk, its weight familiar. I didn’t think of the violence anymore. How easy it would be for me to kill whoever it was that came for what was mine. If I did, I was sure my hands would shake. Sure I would hesitate. I didn’t have time for that. Not anymore.

I moved through the darkened shop. Even the sign for Gordo’s was dark, turned off when the shop closed. The light from the office couldn’t be seen from the front of the shop, so whoever it was had no way of knowing someone had been there.

Unless they’d been watching.

I narrowed my eyes, letting them adjust in the dark.

The knocking came again, soft, polite raps against the glass. The door didn’t shudder. The knocking wasn’t angry. Just insistent.

I pushed through the door from the shop to the reception area, moving slowly.

There was the outline of a person standing at the front door, backlit by the hardware store sign across the street that Harvey always forgot to set on the timer. Whoever it was didn’t seem to have anything in their hands, but I knew that didn’t mean anything. Weapons could be hidden in sleeves. Fangs could descend. Gordo had told me that whatever I could think of was out there, and even after all this time, I could still think of many, many things.