Woman of Substance (15 page)

Mavis related to her how some of her customers had told her to stop sampling so much of her baking. “They just don’t understand that a qualified baker knows by texture, aroma, and appearance as well as a tiny taste that a recipe turned out as expected.”

Sharon worked part-time at a women’s fitness club. She told the Fat Like Me group one day that a woman decided not to join the club because if Sharon was an employee then obviously the weight loss program didn’t produce the advertised results. Sharon replied, “I could have told her that I’d already lost fifty pounds and counting on the program but I wouldn’t waste my breath.”

Jake drove through the parking lot at the local grocery store looking for a place to park. He’d rushed out of the office between appointments because Frank had asked him for a special kind of rice pudding from this particular store. A glimpse of a brown Ford caught his attention followed by the ample black haunches bending into the trunk. He frowned. Their lives kept colliding. He could park on the other side of the store and she’d never know.
What are you thinking? Robin has gone out of her way to spend time with Frank and I want to sneak away without acknowledging her? Remember the !Kung San.

He honked his horn. Robin looked out and shaded her eyes against the sun. A grin beamed across her flushed face. The wind flapped her coat like a flag.

“Need any help?” he asked.

“No, thanks. On your way to see Frank?”

He nodded. “How’d you guess?”

With her hands on her hips, she said, “Because I know this neighborhood and it’s the closest store to Care Manor.”

“He craves Mrs. Chandler’s rice pudding, no substitutes. I’m between student appointments.”

She shifted from one foot to the other. “I know where it is. Want me to show you?”

“Meet me at the front door.”

He stood just to the side of the electric eye that swung the doors open and watched her push her cart to the corral.

She parked the cart and swaggered toward him with confidence.

“Going somewhere special?” he asked.

“Not particularly. Why?”

“You’re wearing lipstick.”

“Dr. Watson, the lady always wears lipstick,” she kidded him.

She stood for a moment. “Would you do a favor for me and follow my lead?”

“Sure.” Lead? What was she up to? She reached for his hand. When he clasped her palm, she blushed, then looked down and shrugged. “In for a penny, in for the pound,” she said under her breath, then stepped in front of him and strode through the door  head held high as he followed.

When she bumped him with her hip, he tugged her arm and she moved closer to his side. When she rounded the end display, she knocked the cereal pyramid and the display wobbled. She gasped and then laughed. Her laughter was contagious and he joined in her hilarity all the way to the refrigeration aisle. He believed that neither of them actually knew what was funny but laughing felt good.

She pointed to the rice pudding. He scooped two containers into the crook of his arm and they hurried toward the express cashier.

Robbie swiftly maneuvered him behind a customer whose cart was overflowing. The clerk chatted as she scanned the order. Jake didn’t know what Robin was up to but he’d spare a few minutes to find out.

Although she looked formidable, she seemed vulnerable as well, especially when she chewed the inside of her lip as she was doing now. He placed the containers on the conveyer belt and reached his hand out and tapped her cheek just like his grandmother had done some many years ago. “I’m here.”

Robbie swayed toward the checkout counter until the clerk with her bubbly voice called, “Did you find everything you needed?”

He felt Robbie straighten and heard her answer sweetly, “Yes, we have. Thank you.”

The pretty young clerk ignored Robin’s reply and leaned toward him, her light blue eyes dancing. “And you, sir? Did you find everything you needed?” She batted her lashes.

“Thanks to my friend. She knew just where to find this specialty.” He indicated the rice pudding. Robbie placed a fruitcake she picked up from a promotional display onto the belt. “Do you mind? I have a craving for an early taste of Christmas.”

Jake handed the clerk a twenty-dollar bill. “Whatever you need.” He winked at Robin.

The clerk ran her finger down the nutritional value list. “Are these calories for your parent’s, too?” The clerk brushed the long side of her hair away from her face and snorted.

“No, all for me.” A saucy smile slid across her lips.

Ignoring Robin, the clerk slowly counted the change into Jake’s palm focusing a flirty smile on him. “Come back again soon.”

After Jake pocketed the bills and coins, he found Robin’s hand in the fold of her coat and anchored her to him. He knew enough about Robin to realize that this charade must be important to her.

They bent their heads into the wind as they hastened to her brown sedan. He held open the driver’s side door while she settled into her seat. “Want to tell me about it?”

“Miss Flutter Eyelashes and flashing belly button stud turned into a food police when I went through her register earlier. I didn’t like how she made me feel.” Robbie swallowed. “It seemed important but not now. Thanks, anyway. Give me a minute and I’ll pay you for the cake.” She opened her purse.

“The clerk had a belly button stud?”

Robbie swatted his arm with her mitten.

“Honest, I didn’t notice. I was concentrating on you.”

“Come on.”

“No, Scout’s honor. And don’t even think about paying for the cake. It was worth the fun.” He held up the grocery sack. “I’d better deliver this to Granddad. I have a student appointment in thirty minutes.” He glanced at his watch.

She started the engine and held out her hand. “Let me. I’m going as soon as I take my groceries home.” Jake glanced at his watch again then back at her. “Generosity’s a compelling trait.” He handed her the pudding. “Tell Frank I’ll see him at lunch. I’m bringing a colleague to meet him.”

Her shoulders sagged and she licked her dry lips. Maybe he’d found someone else who would marry him before Frank passed away. “Should I tell Frank who you’re bringing to visit?”

“I told him earlier.” He backed away, allowing the door to close but hesitated and leaned forward again. “I need to squeeze in a bit of exercise. Want to work out at the fitness room at the hotel later?”

“Pardon me?”
What was he thinking?

He chuckled. “Don’t worry. There’ll be both men and women there.”

“No, thank you. I’m not worried. I don’t work out in mixed company. It’s distracting.”

“We could walk in the park instead.”

He began to push the door closed.

“Okay, I’ll meet you by the gates at nine after visiting hours. No running, just walking, agreed?”

He nodded. “Only walking, I promise. I’ll see you there.”

She shouldn’t do this. When he’d held her hand and laughed with her in the store, her insides quivered and felt all mushy warm. She’d felt protected, cared for, respected, and honored. Just for a moment, she considered giving up everything and explaining her field study. Then they could get married. It would be their secret when she wore the fat suit at the wedding. Frank would witness the marriage and everyone would be happy.

Robbie struggled to hold on to all this while she watched Jake for as long as she could in her rearview mirror. He didn’t turn around.
Don’t be silly, I belong to a family, community, student body, and soon to an exciting career.
As she drove home, parked, and bumped bags of groceries to her stairs, she rationalized that it was an approaching end to the familiarity of the university routine and her uncertainty of the future that made her think she was looking for someone special. Her future was going to be wonderful.

Chapter 12

After she unpacked her groceries, Robbie tucked the rice pudding into her purse and drove the short way to Care Manor. Just outside Frank’s door she lifted the pudding from her purse and stuck her head and her hand into his room. Dangling the sack, she sang out, “I’m delivering Mrs. Chandler’s rice pudding.”

Frank waved. “I send my grandson and a bird of paradise returns. How lucky can one old guy get?”

A heart spasm jolted through her chest as if hit by electricity. He was lucky enough to be nearing the end of his life, lucky enough to be moderately pain-free right now, and lucky enough to have a grandson who loves him. “So if you were going to share with Jake, can I, please, have his portion?” she asked. Seemed like justice to her. “I really shouldn’t, should I?”

“Sure you can.” A twinkle of life sparkled in his eyes when he grinned, as if they were sharing a big conspiracy.

“It does happen to be my favorite, too.” She popped the lid off one container and divided it equally. “Should we save the other container for Jake so he can have some too?”

“One helping’s enough for me right now. How about you?”

“Me, too, it’s so very creamy.”

“Jake told me he had meetings. Said he’d be here for lunch. Said he was bringing a friend.” He spooned pudding into his mouth.

Even though winter’s sunlight flowed through the window, it didn’t provide any patches of warmth. Frank’s skin seemed thinner, his lips bluer, and a tinge of dusk hung around his nostrils.

“Mmmmm.” She held the spoon below her nose. “Reminds me of my granny’s house and how much she loved me. I buy it when I need to be kind to myself.”

“Mmm,” he said. “Reminds me of Mabel, before we worried about triglycerides, fat grams, and whatever else we were told to worry about.”

They ate in silence. “That’s enough for me,” he said.

Robin scraped every kernel of rice from the bowl and licked her spoon. “Love.”

“A poor substitute for sure, but a substitute.” His eyes closed.

She settled into her chair. “Would you like to tell me more about your life with Mabel, or would you prefer to be quiet? I can, you know, be quiet.”

“I’m going to tell you some of the end.” He seemed to be all black-framed glasses on a skull. “Mabel went out of her way to make people happy. They accepted her generosity as part of who she was. Sometimes, though, she’d confess that she was pretty tired of others always assuming she’d be there to fill in, bake, and organize the canvassers.” Frank turned his face to the window. “But you know, Robin, at the end, when I could have used some help, all those she had helped kept complaining that they were busy and only dropped in occasionally with a knickknack or flowers for her. And that includes Jake. It made me so angry no one thought I’d like a pot of someone else’s cooking once in a while. We came here, to Care Manor, so we could be together and have help. She didn’t last too long after the move. She was sure I would be taken care of.” He reached forward as she extended her hand. “I want you to know that I appreciate every visit you’ve given me. You’ve helped bring back happy memories in these last days.”

Robbie squirmed in her chair. “You’re more than welcome.” She sandwiched his thin cold hand between her warm palms. “You’ve given me a place to be myself. I get busy and forget there are people in the world who enjoy sharing a hug.” She leaned over, careful not to crush him, then embraced his rail-thin body and gave him a wet smack on the cheek.

She was supposed to stay objective and not kiss her subject’s cheek.
But immersion’s important because it’s supposed to help me learn. What exactly am I learning about?
The realization struck her like a slide show bursting on her heart with images of
Love.

She sank back in the chair, allowing herself to absorb her realization. She’d learned about Frank’s unconditional love for his wife, their unconditional love for their daughter, and Jake, and Jake’s unconditional love for them both. She was witness to generations of love.

She’d lost track of the time when the familiar racket of staff readying clients for a meal broke into their companionable silence. “Jake will be here shortly,” she said, rising unsteadily to her feet.

“Can’t you stay, Robin? Jake said he’s bringing someone and I don’t want to meet someone new in my pajamas.”

“Not to worry. You look regal in your dressing gown.” She curtsied before him.

“Besides, any friend of Jake’s will be glad to meet you.” She blew a kiss from the door, then hurried down the hall. When she caught sight of Jake, she ducked into an opened door and hid out of sight. Her chest tightened at the sight of the woman at his side. Jake had brought Jean Clifton to meet Frank.

She gnawed her lip. Robbie knew that if Jake were to propose to Jean, she wouldn’t stammer with her mouth open. She counted to one hundred. When she peered down the hall, they were gone.

When they entered the room, Jake leaned in and kissed his grandfather’s cheek and felt Frank’s jaw tighten. Could Granddad be in pain? Jake felt the weight of dread and guilt on his back threatening to buckle his knees.

Jake straightened and gestured behind him. “Granddad, I’d like you to meet Dr. Jean Clifton. Jean, Frank Proctor, my grandfather.”

“Hello,” Frank said and sank back into his chair.

Jean extended her hand and patted Frank’s shoulder, and then squatted down so that she was at eye level. “I’m pleased to meet you again, Mr. Proctor. We met a long time ago at Jake’s graduation.”

Jake was impressed with Jean’s consideration but he watched his grandfather’s face for clues as to what may be happening, pain or pride.

“Sorry,” Frank said quietly.

“We met at the Central High School Grade Twelve graduation. You and your wife were sitting on some chairs along the edge of the gym. Some of us were fooling around and I almost fell over you. I wore a pink organza dress and I had a tiara. You said I looked beautiful.”

Jake touched Jean’s shoulder. “That was a long time ago.”

“Not that long.” She glanced up at Jake.

Jake helped her stand. While she moved around the room and looked at the family collage, Jake noticed the two bowls and two spoons on the table. “How was your rice pudding?”

“Good. Thanks. Robin angel, bless her heart, kept me company.” Frank raised his voice, sending the intended spiral of guilt through Jake. His Granddad was justified. He should have been the one sharing the pudding with his dying grandfather.

Jean came closer. “Robin. Is she a nurse?”

Jake answered. “She’s Granddad’s friend. You saw her at the reunion.”

“Oh, is she the heavyset woman?” Jean leaned toward Frank. “You be careful. I’ve heard about women who befriend seniors and then marry for monetary gain.”

“That’s what I first thought, but I was wrong. Robin’s not like that,” Jake said quickly. Robin had calmed his initial fears, ten-fold.

Frank wiggled his bottom to the back of the chair and stretched to his full height and struggled forward. “I should be so lucky. I’d take her in a minute if I thought she’d consent.” Then he leaned over the armrest. “I was kind of hoping that she’d find Jake a catch.”

“You’re joking.” Jean said, then laughed. “Jake’s handsome.”

“Looks like me in my prime. Jake, bring me that picture from over there.”

Jake glanced at the photograph and recognized the image that he saw every morning in his own mirror. Genetics were visible in the shape of his face, his eyes, and nose.

Frank pointed to the picture. “See, Dr. Clifton, there is a similarity, even though we are his grandparents.”

Jean looked closely. “Yes, I can see a little of you in Jake. Your wife?”

Jake noted the flash of horror in her eyes as she recognized that Jake also resembled his grandmother.

Frank picked up the picture and held it closer to her. “Yes, my Mable, big in body and big in heart. Right, Jake?”

Jake nodded. “Yes.”

Jean pushed up the sleeve of her coat and angled her watch, allowing her to see the correct time. “Uh, I think we should return to the university.”

“Thanks for coming. You’ll understand if Jake has to leave suddenly because I’m dying.” He clutched his chest. “Oh no. I’m doing that now. Make that almost dead. Toes up.”

“Granddad.”

“Can’t choose the exact moment. But I’ll try for an evening or a weekend.”

“Of course I would understand,” Jean said.

Frank motioned to his thin body. “All this is real, son. You have to get used to the idea.”

Jean blanched at Frank’s plainspoken pronouncement.

“You’re alive now and that’s what counts.” Jake kissed his grandfather’s cheek. “Do you need more pudding?”

Frank shook his head.

Jake struggled past the stomach acid surging into his throat and asked, “Do you want me to ask the nurse to bring you a drink? Do you need to get into your bed?”

“I’m okay, Jake, go back to work.” Frank’s head wobbled on his neck as if all the fight to sit up and entertain them had left.

“I’ll be back,” Jake said, leaving Frank’s door partially open to the corridor.

“Jean, I’ll meet you at the front door,” Jake whispered.

He stopped the nurse attendant. “Granddad’s exhausted. Would you check in on him?”

“Sure, no problem. I’ll check if it’s time for his medication first.” She moved with precise movements to the desk. “You can go. He’s in good hands.”

Jake nodded and retreated from Frank’s prediction of death toward the front door, where Jean waited for him. She gripped his sleeve while the door to the Manor closed behind them. “I’m sorry, Jake. You poor, poor man.”

“I’m fortunate really. Granddad knows he’s dying and there are no secrets. He’s not worried about the meaning of his life. He’s just waiting to be reunited with Grandma.” Jake felt some stress leave his shoulders. His legs felt looser when he walked to the car. As he held the car door open for Jean, he saw the sun sparkle diamonds on the snow and he understood that Christmas would come and go every year, whether Frank was here or not.

“And this Robin?” Jean asked when the car exited the parking lot.

“I thought you might meet her. She’s usually here. She reminds Frank of my grandmother and their life of love and intimacy.”

“Really, at his age.”

Jake chuckled. “As he’s said often enough, he’s dying, not dead.”

“And do you see this Robin often?”

“We seem to run into each other around the city or visiting Frank.”

Jean cleared her throat. “Do you think she’s interested in, you know, either of you?”

He turned in time to see her blush. “She did tell me when I hired her that if Frank asked her to marry him, she’d consider it.”

“Oh,” she said and seemed to expel a sigh of relief. “You hired her.”

“Yes, since I can’t be there all the time and besides she’s funny, caring, and generous.”

“A lot of fat women are. There’s a theory that this type of woman is so busy caring for others that they don’t take care of themselves.”

“And what do you believe?”

“The statistics are compelling.”

“If that’s the case then I say, thank goodness. But from my experience with different cultures, statistics don’t always show the truth.”

“Jake?”

“Yes.”

“Were either of your parents obese?”

“Not my mother, and I don’t know my biological father. Why?”

“Nothing important. Just wondering.” When he stopped in front of the Humanities building, she opened the car door.

“You’re concerned about genetics.” He had thought about it often enough. Whenever a new announcement appeared in the news about a possible DNA link, he had thought that if a test were developed he would line up to take it. But it didn’t seem as important anymore.

“The research shows it is very hard to be an overweight child.” She held onto the door for a minute. “Thank you for taking me to see your grandfather.”

“You’re welcome. I wanted you to understand what’s happening in my personal life.”

“That means a lot to me.” She held onto the door as if she wanted to get back into the car.

“I’ve got to hurry. I have a student appointment in fifteen,” he said quickly.

“Next time, then.” Jean slammed the door.

“Not if you slam the door on a classic car, there won’t be a next time,” he muttered as he patted the dash.

Robbie’s message light was flashing when she meandered into the kitchen. Dr. Clifton and the committee had approved her thesis and her defense would proceed on Tuesday because the outside examiner had had an emergency. She sighed. So it was either now or in the new year. Just a few more days and it would be all over. The next call was from Nadine, who sounded excited.

Robbie called her right back. “Hi, what’s going on?”

“Can you meet me for a coffee at Atlantis?”

“Of course, when?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“I’ll be there or be square.” When Robbie got back into her car, she was still in disguise. It was going to be interesting to hear what Nadine would say.

Robbie parked half a block down, put money in the meter for two hours, and hurried to the coffee house.

Nadine was in the far corner facing the door. Robbie beamed and waved.

Nadine didn’t acknowledge her. Robbie paid for a coffee, then she approached Nadine and said, “Is this seat taken?”