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Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore

BOOK: Work What You Got
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Then I felt a touch and heard a familiar voice. “I'm here, girl,” Bea said.
Trisha said, “Me too.”
The three of us hugged so tight.
“Where is everybody else?” I said, hoping they were around the corner.
“We're the only three that made it,” Trisha said, as the three of us hugged again. We had a bittersweet moment, crying tears of joy for ourselves. We also cried tears of sorrow for those who didn't make it. I didn't know why they weren't picked. I heard when you participate in underground lines, you're taking a chance to see if you'll actually make the real pledge line, but I never thought that rumor to be true. I guess I was wrong.
Bea said, “I guess we better count our blessings.”
 
I had arrived at the park at one in the morning and I didn't leave until four
AM
. I was so tired. I did make it back to my apartment in one piece.
“Thank you, Lord,” I said. “This is exactly what I prayed for and because You honored my request, I know this is going to be a good experience. Help me not to lose my mind on line. I love You, Lord. Thank You and I pray for all of those who didn't make it. May they keep on knowing that it'll be okay.”
When I stepped out of the car, I heard a car honk. Now, I was a little nervous. Though our area was secure it was scarcely patrolled by college police. It was after four in the morning and the bushes that surrounded my path made the place look so dark. Who would be honking at me? I already knew the Betas put on their headlights, so I knew it wasn't them. I walked a little briskly to my door, but then the honking started again and a car started moving in my direction.
“Wait, wait. It's me,” the faint yet familiar voice called out through the window.
When the car got close enough, I noticed it was Creed's. “Hey you!”
“You seem alone,” Creed said, looking all around the parking lot. “Hayden, I can't go to my place. Can I come in? I need to hide out.”
“Yeah, just park your car way down there. I don't want anyone thinking you're at my house.”
“Cool, I'll be right there.”
I never let a guy into my apartment and I knew my dad would be totally angry if he knew I was entertaining a young man at four in the morning. But he was overseas fighting a war and we didn't exactly see eye to eye on everything. I was in college now, I had to do my thing. If Creed was out this late and couldn't go back to his place obviously he had good news, and I could tell him I made line too.
When he came through the front door, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my lips found their way to his. I was a little bummed out that he wasn't hugging me back. Then he put me down and pulled out a bouquet of lilies.
“These are the sorority's flower,” I said.
“Yeah!”
“How'd you know?”
“You're not home at this hour of the night, and that could only mean you're doing what the rest of us are—you're on somebody's line. Congratulations girl, I knew you'd make it.”
“I didn't know I would. How many are on your line?” I asked him.
“Thirteen of us—and you?” he asked.
“It's sixteen.”
“Cool.”
“Come on.” I pulled him into my bedroom. Thankfully, I had cleaned up since I was home all day long.
“So how did you feel when you found out?” he asked me.
“I don't know.”
“What do you mean you don't know? I'm a little sore on my bottom, but I feel great,” he teased, as he rubbed his butt.
“It's just most of the girls we were underground with didn't make line.”
“That happens all of the time; everyone knows the risk you take. Supposedly the ones who didn't take part in any of the underground stuff are really going to get it when it really gets down to it, so they won't be paper. It should balance out. How many of y'all survived?”
“Only three.”
“Dang, they were brutal. On my line, ten of us made it and we only have three new guys.”
“See what I'm saying? How am I supposed to be happy when so many people who wanted this didn't get it? Why did they choose me?”
“Uh, because you're beautiful, smart, and you're fine as I don't know what,” Creed said, as he pulled my body toward his and we fell onto my bed.
“Okay, soooo you got to go home.”
“I just told you I can't.”
“What do you mean you can't?”
“They told us we can't go home for twenty-four hours. They took our keys. I'm sure they're staying there. I know when I get back I won't have a TV, a stereo, food, I might not even have books.”
“Are you serious? Now how is that supposed to make you a better Pi?”
“To figure out how to survive, I guess. I don't know if all of this stuff is supposed to have some kind of subliminal message to make us better for the organization. Half of it is stupid, but I'm excited to go through the process, you know?”
“But I can't have some boy in my crib, in the middle of the night, in my bed with me. No.”
“I'm not just some boy, how about I'm your boyfriend.”
“Says who?”
“Says the girl that is going to say yes. You are going to have to help me get through this. These guys are crazy and I need to have something special, someone awesome, and someone all mine. I need to be thinking of you.”
So very excited, I nodded, yes.
He kissed my neck and went to my ear. If I hadn't been lying down I would have fallen. I was so mesmerized by his touch. Tired in each other's arms we lay still.
“You're gorgeous and you're mine,” Creed said, as we drifted off to sleep. “What a gift!”
6
PROMISE
A
fter a week of underground hell, I was excited to take my first official step into Beta Gamma Pi. It was the Pi induction ceremony. I still didn't really know a lot of folks on my line. We had been doing things independently for all of our big sisters, chauffeuring them around, running errands, and doing everybody else's homework and research papers. It was a hot mess, but I wasn't quitting.
“So, we're really gonna do this?” Trisha turned around and said to me as the sixteen of us stood in line in our black dresses waiting to be escorted into the newly renovated theatre on campus for the ceremony.
I didn't know a lot about everybody on the line, but I did know a few things. Like the tallest girl, Audria, was from Alabama. The girl was a big religious person. Trisha and Bea thought she was a little fake and phony with it. Every time we saw her she lifted up her hands to the sky and proclaimed, “Praise the Lord.” I was down with GO-D myself, but I had to admit to my two girls that she was over the top.
“Y'all, I think we should pray,” Audria shouted from the back.
“Why don't you just pray quietly for us,” Bea said sarcastically, and half of the line snickered.
“We all need Jesus, Bea,” Audria responded, a little put-off that everyone was mocking her.
“Don't hurt her feelings, Bea,” I said over my shoulder as I lightly spanked Bea's big thigh.
“Watch it now! She's really gonna have to pray for you if you hit me again,” Bea teased.
“Y'all two stop,” Trisha said.
“Seriously Bea, we're about to go in here for this induction ceremony. The first official step into the sorority. This event should tug at our hearts. How better to get in the right spirit than by seeking God. What's wrong with getting a cool word?” I said, knowing a covering from up above would be a great thing.
“Aight Audria, say something for all of us,” Bea said, relenting.
“Don't worry about it. I already did,” Audria retorted.
“Well, forget it then,” Bea said to her.
Then there was our number one, Dena, the shortest girl on our line. She was so shy. I wished she was a little tougher.
“Miss Dena over there is shaking,” Trisha said to Bea and me.
Bea said, “See, I don't know how we gonna make it with the big sisters with one as weak as her. They shoulda took that other girl we had. Dang!”
“Yeah,” Trisha agreed.
“I'm still really upset that my friend didn't make it. With the exception of you two, she's got all these girls beat, hands down. She had the grades, yet they took her through all those hoops and stuff for nothing,” Bea lamented.
Then the girl in front of Trisha turned around, put her hands on her hips and said to the three of us, “Why are you guys griping about who is not here on this line? I tried to stay out of your conversation because I know you aren't talking to me, but I know I speak for everybody on this line when I say enough already. Contrary to what you think, the rest of us can carry our own. That's why we did make the line and your friends didn't. My name is Sharon. Don't you forget it.”
Trisha wanted to take her hand and bash the girl when she turned back around, but I held her and said, “Just let it go.”
Thankfully Penelope came and got us and escorted our line into the assembly. All the hostility that had been penned up in the waiting room was released when I walked into the room filled with Betas wearing white. The night before, Edythe told us to wear black for the ceremony. They told us the black we were wearing symbolized the darkness we were in before being connected to the Beta Gamma Pi light. When I passed my mom and saw the tears fall from her eyes, I knew this was a special ceremony. Though she wasn't forcing this on me, I knew it was something she really wanted for me. Something we would now be able to share. Something dear to her heart. Her sorority would soon be dear to mine for life.
Our initiation ceremony was breathtaking. With the marble floor, crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and the many mahogany chairs, I couldn't help but feel spellbound by the room's captivating beauty. The hundreds of small flickering lavender and turquoise candles all over the room symbolized our connection with the Beta Gamma Pi light. The chandelier lights were fairly dim, perhaps to allude to our darkness before coming into our newfound sisterhood. The room's center held a life-sized framed portrait of our five great founders. A hundred sunrise lavender and sunset turquoise sprayed flowers surrounded the base of the portrait. This was the moment I had dreamed of.
The ceremony lasted an hour, but it was so impactful. Every single thing the speakers said was so important and moving that it made me want to get up out of my seat and lead a nation. Before our induction was official they called each of us up individually to come sit in a royal chair, fit for a queen. It was there that we recited an eight-line pledge, confessing from the bottom of our soul that we were ready to pledge our vows. I knew that the vow to be a Beta was a serious commitment. I said every word with real passion for the sorority.
My mom then came up and put the Pi pin close to my heart. She leaned over and whispered in my ear that I would get the full letters upon completion of the whole pledge process. Though I couldn't wait for that moment, I took time to relish this special one.
With pride, she said, “I love you, Hayden. Enjoy this experience. When done the right way, it can change you and shape you for greatness.”
As soon as the ceremony was officially over and we were in the hall, there was a nice spread of food, mostly pies, symbolizing the Pi ceremony. Suddenly an irate Beta, who turned out to be Sharon's mom, came rushing up to our advisor.
“I'll tell you what, something funny is going on with these girls. My daughter can't even keep her eyes open. Most of this line was sleeping during the whole ceremony. If some hazing is going on, I will stop all this madness and take everybody's letters. You better hear me up in here. Touch my daughter and Alpha chapter will be no more.”
Everyone froze. Sharon was just like her mom, and I didn't know if that was a good thing, but I certainly hoped the undergrad Betas heard what her mom was saying. I certainly didn't want to lose my letters before I even got them.
 
That same night, the sixteen of us were crammed into Big Sister Keisha Mean Machine's apartment. It must have been the smallest apartment in the city—and the oldest. Within the apartment, there were power strips everywhere to make up for the lack of outlets in the place. Alongside that eyesore there was an abundance of old looking furniture and stacks of dusty books. Twenty other Betas were surrounding Keisha, but they weren't familiar—and there weren't that many Betas on campus.
“I know some of these girls have graduated,” Bea said to me.
Edythe went over to Keisha and said, “Look, we can't do any of this anymore. Did you hear what Sharon's mother said today? I'm not getting my letters taken because of you, Keisha. This is over the top.”
“Whatever, I am not about to let these girls walk up in my sorority and not get a thorough pledge experience on my watch. They gotta pay dues just like everybody else. Where is the line president?”
We all stood still. What was a line president? Penelope hadn't told us about that.
“These dummies hadn't even selected a leader to answer for them. Maybe they need some cake shoved down their mouths.”
Edythe saw us looking angry and confused. “Girls, as soon as you can, select someone that will represent you to all of us.”
Keisha said, “Well, first just tell me whose momma said that stuff earlier today anyway?”
Nobody raised their hand. I didn't know Sharon, but I surely would not want to ask for trouble. However, as Big Sister Mean Machine started cussing, I knew anything but Heaven was about to break loose if someone didn't come clean.
Spitting and shouting, Keisha said, “Didn't y'all hear me, scrubs? I said whose momma said that anyway?”
All of us raised our hands. Instincts about protecting ourselves and our sisters kicked in all at once. I was proud to stand with a group of girls who cared more about the line than themselves.
“Y'all don't have to do that,” Sharon turned around and said to us, “Big Sister Keisha Mean Machine, it was my mom.”
Keisha went over and yanked Sharon out of the line. “Ha ha, I thought it was you. What yo' momma say? Nobody better not lay a hand on you?”
Keisha pulled Sharon's hair. She kicked her in the thigh. Then she shoved Sharon into all of her sorors.
“Keisha, I'm serious,” Edythe said, helping Sharon to her feet.
Keisha went over and grabbed Sharon again, shoving Edythe out of the way. “Your mom said don't touch you, huh?”
We were all stunned when Keisha back-slapped her. Penelope went to stand in front of Keisha. The two of them stared each other down.
Finally Penelope said, “Hey, this is a little too much. I'm with Edythe, I don't want to get my letters removed.”
“I knew I shouldn't have put the two of you guys in leadership. Y'all so weak. No backbone. Everybody knows you don't threaten a Beta and expect to get away with it. Just because of you, Sharon, this whole line is gonna catch it.”
For the next hour, we scrubbed the two toilets and bathtubs. Some of us cleaned the kitchen and the rest of us wiped the windows and blinds. We were working swiftly, thinking the faster we got the task done the quicker we could get out of there and study.
Out of nowhere, Keisha came up to Bea and said, “I'm sick and tired of looking at you, fat girl. I told them not to put you on the line either. Sharon, where are you? You think your line sister is fat?”
Sharon said, “No, Big Sister Keisha Mean Machine.”
“Okay, well give me a push-up. Now Bea, get on her back.”
“I don't think I can hold her, Big Sister Keisha Mean Machine.”
“Well, you shouldn't have said she wasn't fat. You said she wasn't, so you gonna hold her for five minutes. Go.”
I said to Trisha, “Let's go, we can help.”
“How?” Trisha said.
I moved over to the action and said, “She said she's got to hold her, well we can help hold her, too.”
I got down on my back and Trisha got on the other side of Sharon. We allowed Bea to put her feet on us and that helped to prop her up.
“Oh, so y'all think y'all can outsmart me, huh? Edythe,” she called out, “I want y'all to address her as Big Sister Dr. Edythe Right. Why? Because she's president and is always right to y'all. No one gives her orders. Y'all got it?”
“Yes ma'am,” we said.
“Five minutes is up, Big Sister Dr. Edythe Right,” I said.
“Naw, let them go longer,” Keisha snapped. “Since they got help, ten minutes.”
Then she went over to Bea and messed with her stomach. “Fatso, I'ma get that meat off of you if it's the last thing I do. We can't have no wobbly Betas.”
“I'm bored,” another Beta hollered out.
“Let me get you some entertainment,” Keisha said to her. “Alright y'all, fall in line. We want to see a skit about domestic violence. Go. Now.”
The four of us started scrambling toward the rest of our line sisters. Then all sixteen of us tried to come up with something. Keisha took a lamp and threw it at us. It cut Dena.
“That's what I'm talkin' about. I want to see one that is more real. Hit somebody, kick somebody. Do something.”
The next thing you know Dena turned around and punched her number two. Hands were all out of control. We were beating each other up. You woulda thought it was a lady's boxing ring match, but the Betas were laughing and we looked like fools. What did this have to do with sisterhood and friendship? Absolutely nothing. The look on Edythe and Penelope's faces showed it, but they were in the minority. The rest of the girls in the chapter, and the old heads that had graduated already, who came back to grill us, were loving the discord.
Why did we stay?
I wondered as I participated in the madness. Deep in my heart I believed in the sorority's core values. I was doing this for my mom's honor. And though I knew if she saw this she'd have my head herself, I
had
to stand and take it all. I was convinced this was the only way.
Penelope got up and said, “Alright, you guys, this is enough. That girl's got a bloody nose.”
Keisha got up in her face and said, “I have had pints of blood drawn from pledges before, but I haven't paddled a soul. Relax, nobody has drank any rubbing alcohol. If you stop any of this small stuff we are doing with them, I guarantee you your little line will be paper.”
Keisha moved out of the way and sat down. Penelope looked discouraged, but didn't respond. We were on our own now.

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