Worlds of Obsession (Celtic Otherworlds) (28 page)

             
“Balor’s personal realm?”  Erath asked.  “But his mate died centuries ago.”

             
“Not dead, only stolen, taken to the Plains of Crim as a shade, and then rescued by a certain Witch.”

             
Liv could have sworn her heart stopped beating.  Dreams… or were they memories? Came flooding into her mind, threatening to overwhelm her.  Her knees buckled, and Erath reached out to catch her before she could fall to the ground.  “Oh my god…”

             
Erath looked at her worriedly, brushing her hair back from her suddenly sweaty forehead.  “What is it lass?  Are you ill?”  Fuck, if anything happened to Liv, Bastien was going to have his head on a pike.  No wait, Bastien’s mate was still alive… Fuck, fuck and double-fuck!

             
Liv’s voice was thin and shaky.  “No… I… I think I remember… being with Balor… his prisoner.  I’ve been having dreams about it for months, but until now I thought they were just dreams.  He wanted to m…marry me, and I kept saying no.  I kept trying to hide from him, but everywhere I went, he was there.  I thought they were just dreams…  Oh my God…”

             
Erath glanced up at Scatha, raising an eyebrow in question, and she nodded slightly.  “I had a visit from Carman yesterday.  It’s true.  And as ridiculous as her methods are, I can’t say she hasn’t done a good thing.  Balor is an ass.”

             
“Shit.”  Erath looked at Liv in a whole new light.  This was Bastien’s long-lost mate returned to the flesh, and the guy didn’t even know it.  Apparently, neither did the poor female.  “Do you remember how you got there… I mean in your dreams?” he asked Liv.

             
“No.  Nothing before that.  Just… strange feelings, déjà vu sometimes.  After I met Bastien, the dreams got worse, but then why wouldn’t they?  I mean, I’ve seen some pretty strange things lately… enough to give anyone nightmares.”

             
Erath shook his head, putting his hands on Liv’s shoulders and forcing her to look at him.  “No, Liv.  Those weren’t just dreams.  Those were
memories
. 
You
are Karis. 
You
are Bastien’s mate.  You never died, you were just reborn.”

             
Liv could feel the blood draining from her cheeks, because she knew what Erath said was the truth.  She could feel it all the way to her bones.  “Oh my god…” she choked out.

             
The roar of a motorcycle engine interrupted any thoughts of fainting dead away that Liv might have had.  She had lived before… she was Bastien’s mate. 
Bastien’s mate!
  Her heart skipped a few beats at that glorious thought, because it changed everything.  But when she saw him on his bike, skidding to a halt not far from where they stood, she realized that mate or not, she was more or less completely pissed at him right now.

             
His eyes locked onto her as soon as he got off the motorcycle, and Liv watched as first joy, then horror and finally pain flashed across his face.  Had he ever planned on telling her, or was he just going to leave?

             
“Liv, what are you doing here?”  Bastien looked to Erath and then Scatha.  “What’s going on?”  He looked panicked now.

             
Liv moved closer to the Vampire, even looping her arm through his.  “I came with Erath.”

             
Bastien was looking at her strangely.  “Liv, you’re … glowing.”

Glowing?  No, but she was suddenly very dizzy.  “I
… I feel strange.”  Liv felt her knees buckle as her vision swam, and she knew she was going to go down.  Erath’s strong arms caught her just before she hit the ground, and her whole body began to shake, almost as if she had a fever.  “I… I think I’m dying.”

“
Liv?  Liv!”  The sound of Bastien calling her name was far away and hazy, and she couldn’t be bothered to answer.  No, there was something far more important than that happening here, only she couldn’t quite remember what it was…

Bastien was kneeling at Liv’s side within seconds of her going down.  The eerie glow surrounding her skin like a luminescent mantle pulsed and swirled, and he really wished he knew more about the Fae race, because there was obviously something wrong with her and he didn’t know what the hell to do.  Panic began to swell in his chest as her small, fragile body trembled and convulsed.  He kept calling her name, but she didn’t seem to hear him.  “Liv!  Liv, please!  What do I do?  Tell me how to help you!”  Then, right before his eyes, the features of her face subtlety began to shift and change, slowly becoming… achingly familiar.  Like a dream, the flickering light danced over her skin once more, then faded away, leaving her completely still.  With a gasp he put a hand on her chest, sighing with relief when her heart still beat and her chest still rose and fell with breath.  Only then did he let his gaze fall on her face again.  It couldn’t be… it was impossible… but his heart was screaming at him that it was true.  Karis.  Somehow she had been returned to him, and now suddenly everything made sense.  Everything he had been feeling… it was because Liv wasn’t Liv at all.  She was his mate.  Liv
was
Karis, returned to him.  His throat felt tight and it burned with fierce emotion.  As he closed his eyes and threw his head back with the overwhelming feelings coursing through him, tears began to stream down his cheeks. 

As
the tears fell, he leaned forward and gathered her in his arms, holding her tight to his chest, sobbing and raining kisses over her face.  He didn’t know how long he sat like that, thanking every god and goddess he could think of.  Never… never in his wildest dreams had he imagined he would have her back.  The joy that filled him now was so sharp that it was on the razor’s edge of pain, and he thought his heart might burst with it.  It was almost more than he could stand.  He swore that he would not lose her again.  No… he had a second chance, and this time no one would take her from him.  He would not let her out of his sight.  Hell, he wouldn’t let her out of his arms! 

             
Her eyes flickered open, and he smiled down at her, brushing a lock of her now pale golden hair from her damp forehead.  “You’ve come back to me…”

             
She looked at him, sitting up a little in his arms, and then the sting of her hand on his cheek caught him completely off guard.

             
“You left me for another woman!”

             
Bastien heard laughter, and looked up to see Scatha doubled over in hysterics.  Erath had a pained smirk on his face that was threatening to explode into something similar at any moment.

Chapter 29

Bastien paced the floor, his hands pulling at his long hair in frustration.  He had his mate back, and he only wanted to hold her and make love to her for hours on end.  Maybe days, or even weeks.  But she wasn’t cooperating.  “You are mine!” he told her yet again.

             
She crossed her arms and glared at him.  “I am not
yours
.”

             
His nostrils flared as his control grew dangerously thin.  “You are my mate, you belong with me.”

             
“You left me!  You just… left me like I was nothing!”

             
“But don’t you understand?  I thought I had
cheated
on you…”

             
They were back at Bastien’s house, but only because he had dragged her there against her will.  He wasn’t proud of the fact that he’d tied her up to get her here, but she wouldn’t stop struggling and trying to leave him.  No way was she ever leaving him again, not even for a second.  Not even if he had to keep her tied to his side from now on. 

“If I was really your mate in another life, wouldn’t you have known somehow?”

              He blew out a frustrated sigh.  “I
did
.  My heart knew from the
moment
I first saw you.  And my body knew you… It was my stupid fucking mind that wouldn’t accept the truth.  I had been dead inside for so long Karis… without you, I was nothing at all.  Don’t you see that?” he pleaded.

             
“Don’t call me that!  My name is Liv.  I’m Liv.”

             
“No, you are my Karis, returned to me after all this time.  A goddamned fucking miracle.”

Liv
was shocked to see tears swimming in his eyes.  “Call me Liv, it’s all I know, Bastien.  I… I don’t remember.”

His eyes softened a little.  “Okay.  I’m sorry.  Tell me what you
do
remember, please.”

             
She nodded, lost in thought.  “I was a prisoner in Anwnn.  Balor pursued me endlessly.  He wanted me to give myself to him, but no matter what he said or did, I refused.”

             
“Why did you refuse, love, if it would have made things easier for you?”  If she hadn’t refused… been so
strong
for him…
if Balor had put his hands on her… he didn’t even want to fucking think about it.

             
She furrowed her brow, trying to sort through memories that were no more than misty images in her mind.  For all she knew, they still might have been only dreams.  “I couldn’t.  I… belonged somewhere else.  I thought… I thought someone would be coming for me, if I could just hold on long enough.  I had hoped… I think…  God, I’m so confused.”  The memories of her supposed former life hadn’t returned yet, though Scatha had insisted they would in time.  She only had feelings, and impressions left by her dreams.  And yeah, she was still mad that he had gone looking for Karis, even though she knew how ridiculously unreasonable that was.  Unfortunately, reason and emotion came from two very different places.

              Pain lanced through Bastien’s heart.  She had had faith that he would come for her, and he had failed her.  What kind of mate was he?  “Perhaps the someone you waited for did not know that you were merely a prisoner, perhaps he thought you were forever out of his reach.  Perhaps he thought you had… truly died.  Perhaps he has spent the past two hundred years paying for that mistake with his very soul.”  He had failed her once, but never again.  From this moment on, Bastien resolved to be everything to her.  He would give her everything she had ever wanted, and never leave her side.  A fierce wave of possessiveness washed over him, demanding that he make her his in every way possible.  “You are mine”, he growled, and lunged at her where she sat on the couch.

             
She shrieked and vaulted over the back cushions before he got to her.  “Look, we slept together twice, that does
not
make me yours!  I don’t even really know you, and if I ever did, I don’t remember!  And you
left
me!”

             
A look of hurt passed over Bastien’s face, quickly followed by one of determination.  “You
will
remember.  I’ll help you.  You will see that we’re fated.  I lost you once, but I will die before I lose you again.  My heart beats only for you, can’t you see that?”  He had walked slowly around the couch as he spoke, and now he gently took her hand and held it flat against his chest.  “For you.”

              God help her, but Liv wanted him still.  His scent as he stood so close was intoxicating.  She felt her own heart speed up to match the pace of his under her palm.  Her body swayed closer to his warmth, and the memory of how he had felt inside her, how utterly perfect the joining of their bodies had been.  In that moment, she could have stayed in his arms forever.  The tension between them was pulling at her, drowning her in its overwhelming strength.  She lifted her face to look at him, and that was all the invitation Bastien needed.  With a soft curse, he cupped her face in his hands and took her mouth with his.  Her lips parted as she tried to catch her breath, and he thrust his tongue against hers, kissing her as if he could not get enough.  His hands left her face to slide down her back until they grasped her hips to pull her closer.  Even through his jeans, she could not miss his desperate need for her.  His kiss grew more frenzied and his fingers dug into her flesh as he pressed his erection hard against her with a groan that was almost a sob. 

             
“I need you… oh
fuck
, I need you so much!”

             
Liv’s own body was on fire, well past rational thought as instinct took over.  She would have let things go farther… much farther, and most likely would have regretted it later because she was still mad, but Bastien unwittingly snapped her out of the haze of passion she had fallen into.  His hands slid through her hair, pulling her head back so that she was forced to look up at him.  “You
are
mine.  I will not be without you.  If you ever leave me, I swear I will hunt you down to my last breath.  Say you are mine!”

             
Liv pulled away from him as if she had been punched in the gut.  It was all too much at once.  She needed to get her head on straight, and he was trying his best to smother her.

             
“No!  I… I just need a little time to think!  I just found out I’m a goddamned
Fae
, Bastien, I have no idea what it means to be Fae.  And that’s on top of being the long-lost mate to a male I supposedly knew two hundred years ago… and that was before I died, was chased around by a demigod for a while, and got reincarnated by a Witch!  Not only that, but my best friend turned out to be a Selkie who’s been in on the whole thing all along.  Yeah, I’m a little bit overloaded right now.  Oh, and
you left me for another woman!”

             
Bastien growled low in his throat.  All he wanted was to take his mate as his instincts were screaming at him to do.  His cock was throbbing painfully behind the zipper of his jeans and he’d broken out in a fine sweat just trying to maintain his control.  And his temper.  “There
was
no other woman.  You
are
the other woman.”

             
“But you didn’t
know
that!”

             
“And now I do.”  He stalked towards her, intent on one thing: claiming her with his body.  He was done with all of these useless words, if she would just let him, he knew he could show her just how much she meant to him.  Just what she
did
to him. She belonged to him, and his entire body was crying out for hers.  He was going to fucking explode if he couldn’t be inside her
right now
.  He groaned as he grasped her head with both hands and smashed his mouth against hers.  She fought him for only a moment before her lips parted to let him in, and her body melted into his, pressing against him as if she couldn’t get close enough.  Oh yes, this was what he needed… what he craved.

             
But she stopped yet again, pulling back from him, leaving him breathless and bewildered.  “What is it, what’s wrong now?”

             
Liv took a step back, shaking her head, doubt and uncertainty filling her.  God, he was like a drug to her, and she couldn’t think straight when he was anywhere near.  It would be so easy to just give in to whatever was between them, but what if she lost herself in the process?  What if she never remembered her other life?  What if he broke her heart?  He could break it so easily… like a fragile piece of glass in his hand, he could crush her beyond repair.  She needed some time to sort things out, and she needed Jess to help her see through her own overwhelming emotions to the naked truth.

             
“Bastien… I… I need some time.  I have to think about things.  Don’t you understand?”

             
She watched as emotions flickered across his face, shock, hurt… and finally anger.  Anger at her, or just because he wasn’t getting what he wanted, she didn’t know.  Either way, his fists clenched at his sides, and his eyes narrowed.  “No.  I don’t”, he said in a low voice.

             
Liv slid her hand through her long hair and looked at her feet, unable to meet his eyes.  She was too afraid that what she was looking for, what she really wanted, would not be there for her to see.  “Look, Bastien… I know you lost your female and I know how hard that must be, but even if I am
her
, born again somehow…”

“You
fucking
are
!” he roared, clenching his fists in frustration.  “How can you not see that?”

“
I don’t remember much of anything about that time.  I don’t remember
you
… I don’t remember
us
, at least not before I met you in that alley in Glasgow.  I have a lot to deal with here, I mean, my whole life has been turned upside down.  How can
you
not see
that
?”

             
Bastien took a cautious step forward, holding out one hand as if he wanted to touch her, but knew she might pull away if he did.  He sighed.  Maybe he needed to try a different approach.  “I do understand, baby.  You’ve been through a lot.  We both have.  But now everything is right, don’t you see?  We found each other again…”

             
“No!  I thought I had found something special with you, but you hurt me!  You left!  I know why you did it, and I can even understand your point of view, Bastien.  I really can.  But that doesn’t change how I feel.  Everything that we had together before you went to Skye… you threw it all away. 
I
wasn’t enough… you wanted what you had before… And the crazy thing is that I really can’t blame you, because I probably would have done the same thing if I had been in your place.”

             
Bastien scrubbed his hand over his face.  “So what’s the problem then?”

             
“I don’t
know
!  I just need some time to figure things out.  My head is spinning, and I don’t know what to do.  Just let me go to…”

             
Panic rose in Bastien’s chest, fast and hot, squeezing his insides until he could barely draw a breath.  She couldn’t leave him… there was no way in hell he could survive losing her another time.  “No”, he gasped.  “I won’t let you go.  I
need
you…”

             
“You need
her
, but what if we’re not the same person anymore, Bastien?  What if you can’t love who I am now?  What if you don’t even
like
me?  I can’t live like that…”  A single tear welled over and made a track down her cheek.  God, it hurt…  “You loved
her
, Bastien.  But you never said those words to
me
.”

             
“But I do… I will…”

             
“Then let me go.  Give me some time alone.”

             
Bastien felt the frustration well up inside of him, making him want to break something, maybe even kill something.  He was so close… so fucking close to having everything he had ever wanted, to being whole again, hell… maybe even
happy
.  And she was holding it all just out of his reach.  He couldn’t think clearly with his instincts clamoring at him to take what was his, and his body in desperate need of sex with his mate.  If he let her go now, she would be away from him, and he could lose her again.  Or other males could try to take her away… Bastien growled low in his throat.  He couldn’t let that happen… no other male would ever touch her again.  There was no fucking way she was leaving here without him.  With one swift movement, he lifted her and tossed her onto the bed, then strode out the door, slamming it and sliding the lock home.  She was going to be pissed at him, but at least she’d be safe until he figured out what to do.  There was one being who might be able to help… the one who had been his salvation, but had also gotten him into the mess he was in now.