Wrapped In Shadows (14 page)

I hiccupped a wet sob, miserable because I couldn’t explain this weakness I had for Luke. I truly believed I loved Josh and yet my desire for this man was stunning in it’s intensity. This desperate craving could do nothing but destroy me, yet I felt powerless to stop it and wanted more and more.

“Know this,” he grated roughly. “I want you. I want you so much that it fucking scares me! And I don’t just want sex! I want to get to know you. I want Livy to get to know you.”

His lips swooped down on mine and he plunged his tongue into my mouth, intruding with an almost brutal force. I returned the kiss greedily, moaning and biting his lips and tasting the salt of my tears in the kiss. Desire ignited a torch inside me and flames lashed at my damp sex. I rocked my hips against him, feeling the hard proof of his arousal jutting into my abdomen. Desperate for him again, I curled my fingers over his straining erection, trying to free him.

He cursed and stepped back, plucking his shirt from the floor. He shrugged into it as he moved toward the open elevator, and it hung open, the dragon seeming to roar angrily on his chest. He grabbed his jacket and backed in, his gaze never leaving my face. He shot me a half smile, but it only made my tears come faster.

“You owe me a shirt,” he said softly as the doors slid close.

“Why so grumpy, Kay?” Michelle took a big bite of her sandwich and chewed dreamily. “This is sooo good. It’s like having an orgasm.”

I smiled and looked around the tiny Italian restaurant. “No wonder you like coming here.”

“Literally.” She grinned. “Want some?” She waved the meatball parm in front of my face.

I shook my head and picked at my salad. “Not really hungry.”

“Maybe you should try something with
pumpernickel!”

“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I stated, ignoring my friend’s innuendo. It only served to burn guilt and longing into my chest and made her think of the pumpernickel sex I’d had with Luke the night before.

“Still stressing about the wedding?”

I nodded, wishing it were that simple. I regarded Michelle across the table happily devouring her sandwich. A confession sat on the tip of my tongue, but I curled it back into my mouth and swallowed it. I usually shared everything with my best friend, but had a hard time explaining Luke. Maybe because he was her boss, or maybe because I couldn’t explain him to myself.

I sighed and plopped a piece of grilled chicken into my mouth. We’d just seen the apartment in the brownstone and I loved it. I should be thrilled that I’d finally found a place of my own. The only thing left was to secure it with a deposit, but my mind was elsewhere.

“You know, I keep replaying what happened at Josh’s apartment in my head,” I said, and Michelle quirked a brow. “I didn’t actually catch them doing anything, but the immediate impression I got from walking in on them was that they’d done
something
. Carol looked as guilty as hell. I can’t explain it. It’s like when you come across a scene of a car accident and you didn’t actually see the accident, but from the clues you can guess what happened.”

“Josh and Carol have a long history. She’s always been a sore spot between you two.”

“I know. I thought it was over between them.”

“You know how I feel about that asshole, but I’m not the one marrying him. Have you made a decision?”

I nodded, feeling the chicken stick in my throat. “I can’t go through with it. I’ll always wonder if he cheated. I won’t be able to trust him.”

Michelle’s hand covered mine. “I know it’s a hard decision.”

“Yeah, I still care about him. And I think of all the trouble my parents and everyone else have gone through. Greg is coming from Italy. He rearranged his hospital schedule. My grandparents paid for our honeymoon. You bought your dress…”

“Kay! You are always worried about everyone else! Stop trying to please other people. It’s what makes you so kind, but also so vulnerable. Maybe you should think about what
you
want.”

I found I couldn’t hold my best friend’s gaze.

Michelle chuckled and winked. “Confession time. I never liked the dress anyway.”

My jaw dropped as I laughed. “What? You never told me!”
“Because it was
your
wedding. And that’s what best friends do who are maids-of-honor. We suck it up. It’s an unwritten agreement that the maid-of-honor and the bridesmaids have to wear the ugly dresses so that the bride looks even more beautiful on her wedding day.”

“That’s crazy!”

“No, really. You’re supposed to be surrounded by ugly. That way you shine.” Michelle took another bite of her sandwich and moaned. “When I get married, I’m gonna find the ugliest dress there is for my bridesmaids. I might even have padding added for the skinny bitches. Oh, and definitely the big ugly bow on the butt! Purple! What do you think of purple?”

“I look awful in purple.”

“Then purple it is!” Michelle exclaimed.

I dug my fork into my salad, suddenly feeling hungry. I laughed as I listened to Michelle recite more ridiculous rules of being a bridesmaid. I felt relieved that I’d finally made up my mind and had even convinced myself that my decision had nothing to do with Luke. Although, once I spoke with Josh, I planned on telling him about my decision.
Just so he was informed. No other reason. Really. Really…Really!

*************************

Luke

A knock on the door came early, and annoyed, I popped one eye open. Morning light filtered in through the shades of my bedroom window and slashed across my face, irritating me further. Despite my better judgment, I’d gone out with Bruce and some friends last night. One drink had led to several, and all I remembered was droning on about what it was like to desperately want something you couldn’t have. My friends probably thought he was talking about Roslyn, but ironically, my mind had been on Katie the entire night. Roslyn still had a place in my heart, and I knew she always would, but that had been a different life with different hopes and dreams. Thinking about the loss was still painful, but if my experience with Katie taught me anything, it was that my broken heart was ready to heal, to move on, and to possibly love again.

Being with Katie was like finding a piece of myself that I’d lost, and then realizing that the piece might not belong to me after all. I’d known
something
had been missing, but now it was patently clear what it was.

The knocking became a pounding that echoed in my head. I waited, hoping my nanny would get the door, but I could hear her in Livy’s room getting her dressed. Livy was insisting on the purple tutu and making a convincing argument why she didn’t need to take a bath. I smiled, thinking I would have given in by now. I was a sucker sometimes when it came to her. I’d once allowed her to wear her favorite socks for a week, and it was only when I’d thought some animal had crawled into her shoes and died did I realize it had been a very bad idea. Livy, of course, had been oblivious to the stench and cried for an hour when I drowned Mr. and Mrs. Socky in the washer.

I tossed the covers off my legs, hopped into a pair of jeans and pulled a sweatshirt over my head.

“I’m coming! Who the hell is it so damn early?” I yelled, winding around furniture and marching through the living room. I yanked the door open and was surprised by the man I found there.

“Luke Davenport?”

I hesitated, my first instinct to not answer, but I heard myself respond in the affirmative.

“I’m Detective Carly,” the man said, flashing a badge. “May I come in?”

“Yeah.” My mind still trying to process the officer’s presence, he pulled the door wider, and the officer stepped in. The appearance of a second man streaked a rush of blind anger through me.

“This is my partner Detective Lawson,” Detective Carly said, moving toward me. “You are under arrest for the murder of Ms. Carmen Alexander.”

“
What the fuck—!
”

Before I could reckon what was happening, Detective Carly grabbed my arm.

“You have the right to remain silent…”

“Wait a minute! What the fuck is this all about?” I demanded, stepping back.

At that moment, I heard Livy coming into the room behind me. I turned my head at the sound of her voice, my heartbeat like thunder in my brain.

“Dada?” She stopped abruptly, alarm and confusion crinkling her tiny face as she took in the scene.

“Just give me a moment to speak to my daughter,” I said to Detective Carly, jerking my arm away.

“
Dada!
” Livy cried out. “What’s wrong, Dada? Who are these men?”

Detective Carly grabbed for me again, but I skirted away. At that moment, Detective Lawson tackled me, the force of his body slamming me into a wall.

Livy’s face collapsed with tears. The sight gutted me and my muscles bulged with fury.

“I’ll go with you, just let me explain to her!” I yelled, my cheek mashed against the hard plaster. I could easily overpower the detective. I was a much bigger man, but knew it would not be wise to do so.

Instead, I talked to Livy, tried to soothe my daughter as she sobbed hysterically. The sound tore a hole in my gut, shredding my voice as I tried to speak.

“It’s okay, princess. I’m fine. Go find Mrs. Rogers…”

Mrs. Rogers must have heard the commotion, because her shocked voice suddenly rang out behind me, growing louder as she entered the room.

“
Get her out of here!”
I yelled to her, but the officer was reading me my rights and Livy’s piercing cries filled my ears. I didn’t know if Mrs. Rogers could hear me. Cold handcuffs were snapped onto my wrists and Detective Lawson jerked my body around roughly.

Mrs. Rogers now had Livy’s wild, flailing body clutched to her.

“
I want my dada! Daadaa! Daadaa!”
Livy’s arms strained for me, her eyes drenched and her bottom lip pink and quivering. She screeched a plaintive wail that scraped deep into my bones as she was carried away.

Tears filled my eyes and I forced my gaze away from my daughter. It landed on Detective Lawson, who now sported a satisfied grin and I prayed for the strength not to smash his face in. I knew it was what the detective wanted.

*************************

Katie

I stepped through the door of my building and smiled at Ralph, the doorman. The building was active with visitors and residents making their way in and out. Ralph closed the door, cutting off the cold wind that had followed me in, and I was grateful for the sudden warmth. I’d just spent the day Christmas shopping and was cold and exhausted. I couldn’t believe that Christmas was only one week away. At least I’d been able to find the gifts I wanted. My employees had all asked to get money this year instead of presents. I knew that most of them lived on a frugal budget, so I understood the request and planned to honor it, but that didn’t mean I still couldn’t give a few presents too. After all, it wasn’t Christmas without presents.

I thought of the scarf I’d purchased that would match Vicki’s eyes, and the doll I’d found for Marion’s daughter. I had overheard Marion talking about how her daughter wanted the United Dream Doll and how there was no way she could afford it. I loved the warm tickles I got inside just picturing Marion’s daughter face on Christmas morning when she opened her present.

Looking down at my shopping bag, I smiled at the thought of my other special purchase. I had plans to meet Josh this evening, and after that…well, maybe I’d play Santa Claus and make an early delivery. I’d been illusive on the phone with Josh. After everything we’d been through, I owed him an explanation in person.

“You have a visitor,” Ralph informed me, distracting me from my thoughts.

My brows wrinkled as I looked around the large lobby. Not recognizing anyone, I was about to question him when Carol stepped from behind a large pillar.

My breath stuck in my throat and my already cool skin dimpled with chills. Contempt raked down my back, leaving a caustic sting.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” Ralph inquired, noting my distress.

I nodded as Carol approached. The woman was wrapped in a plush designer coat. Long dark hair with wispy bangs framed her perfect, heart-shaped face. Her solemn expression surprised me, because I’d only ever seen the woman with a smug look on her face. The night at Josh’s apartment came rushing back in stunning focus, and I had to force out the breath that refused to leave my lungs.

What was this bitch doing here? She’d ruined my life and been a constant threat to my relationship with Josh. Was she here to serve up some bullshit? To tell me she and Josh were just friends, as she’d always alleged? Tell me that my assumptions of that night were all in my head?

Carol came to a stop in front of me, and for a moment the two of us stared, each silently assessing the other. Unbridled hatred sizzled between us, and each made no attempt to conceal it. I opened my mouth to speak when Carol’s words cut me off.

“You are right. I’m in love with Josh. We are more than friends.”

I felt as though I’d been slapped, but surprisingly, the sting was not as sharp as I’d expect. I rocked back on my heels and narrowed my eyes at the woman in front of me.

“Get the fuck out of my way,” I hissed low, taking a step past Carol.

“I need to talk to you.”

I laughed bitterly. “We have nothing to talk about.”

“Josh loves you.”

“Yeah, right!”

Carol shadowed my steps, and I turned, intending to ask the doorman to remove her. The expression on Carol’s face surprised me. Water filled the woman’s blue eyes, and she looked distraught.

“He doesn’t want me! He—he wants you!” she yelled, tears sliding down her cheeks.

I issued a slow breath and mumbled a curse. Carol was making a scene, and now people in the lobby were taking note of us. I nodded my head to indicate a quiet alcove in the corner, away from the traffic. Carol followed and took an unsteady seat on one of the couches.

“Please, just hear me out.”

I sighed and perched on the edge of a lounge chair opposite her. A voice in my head screamed for my to just get up and run, but an inkling of curiosity and maybe the nudge of guilt kept me in my seat.