Wrecked Book 2 (10 page)

“
Great,
”
he said enthusiastically.

Kass came back then and we spent the rest of the night just hanging out, the three of us laughing and joking. But Derek and I shared glances through the whole night.

When we eventually called it a night, Derek walked with us part of the way home. He was headed to the bus station to go back to his apartment.

“
What, you mean you don
’
t have a car?
”
I teased lightly.

He laughed.
“
I do, actually. It
’
s just best if I don
’
t put too many miles on the poor thing.
”

About halfway to the house, Derek turned off. He gave Kass a hug and sent me a wink, before telling us to be careful and waving us off. Kass and I kept walking in silence for a bit. Finally though, Kass couldn
’
t seem to contain herself anymore.

She rounded on me and said,
“
Alright, spill. You
’
ve been Lady Grin-A-Lot all night! What happened?
”

I laughed.
“
Lady Grin-A-Lot?
”

She waved off my criticism.
“
Don
’
t change the subject!
”

For a little bit, I wouldn
’
t tell her. I hummed and pretended as though I had no idea what she was getting at, but when she started begging for details, I finally caved.

“
Okay, okay!
”
I said, shoving her off of me, as we stopped at the steps leading up to our door.
“
Don
’
t be mad, but Derek asked me out.
”

Kass took a moment to think it over before she let out a squeal of delight.
“
I
knew
it! You guys hit it off perfectly!
”

I made an uncertain face.
“
So, you
’
re not upset that I
’
ve got a date with your brother?
”

She waved me off, rolling her eyes.
“
Of course not. I mean, it
’
s totally gross, because, you know, he
’
s my brother, but if he has to be with someone, I
’
d rather it be someone I at least
like
. You should have
seen
his last girlfriend
…”

I said good night to Kass as she headed upstairs to her room, still feeling at least a little better about my situation in life. Derek was exactly the kind of guy I needed. He was sweet and a little rebellious
—
well, he was a musician, anyway
—
and he was a lot of fun to be around. But there was none of that feeling as though it was wrong, like this was a mistake. There wasn
’
t any of the wondering if he was too volatile to handle, if he was good for the kind of person I was trying to be.

He was
exactly
the kind of person I needed for who I wanted to be. He was a musician, but he was studying to be a doctor. He was cute, but not the kind of cute that attracted every slut for miles.

And I enjoyed his company. I didn
’
t necessarily feel like falling into his arms or slamming my lips against his at the first available opportunity, but that was okay, right? I didn
’
t need to be one hundred percent hot and heavy for him the first night we met, right?

I spent the time it took for me to reach the step halfway up the stairs convincing myself that this was alright, that Derek was a great guy, that he was acceptable to date, and that everything was going to work out fine. Then I heard the knock at the door.

I knew better than to think anyone else was going to get it. At least one of my roommates was out partying and Kass was already safely stowed in her own room, likely texting James about gooey things that were just too cute for comfort. Though my other two roommates were in the living room and could easily answer the door, they were busy watching a movie
—
some boring documentary that even I couldn
’
t force myself to stay awake for
—
and weren
’
t likely to get up anytime soon.

With a sigh, I turned around and went back down the stairs.

I answered the door without checking the peep hole and was more than a little surprised at who I found at the other end.

“
Logan,
”
I said, wide eyed.
“
What are you doing here?
”

His hair was hanging free around his face tonight, and his shirt was tight against his chest. His stormy blue eyes found mine and he said,
“
I needed to talk to you.
”

Folding my arms across my chest, I told him,
“
I don
’
t really think there
’
s anything to talk about, do you?
”

He ran a hand through his hair, clearly nervous.
“
I
’
m sorry about yesterday,
”
he says sounding truly contrite.

But I didn
’
t really buy it and I wasn
’
t not in the mood to start another fight with him. So with a loud sigh, I said,
“
It
’
s late Logan. I
’
ve got stuff to do tomorrow and I
’
d like to get some sleep tonight.
”

“
It
’
s only ten,
”
he countered, and I could hear that pleading in his voice again.

I should just tell him that this
—
whatever it was
—
was over and we were done, and that the last thing I needed was more drama in my life. Then slam the door in his face and be done with him forever. I
’
d have my date with Derek the next day and everything would be fine.

Except that Derek was the farthest thing from my mind. All I could see was the stormy weather in Logan
’
s eyes. It used to be that I could find the calm of the storm swirling in their depths, but it seemed like tonight there was no peace.

So against my better judgment, I opened the door wider and gestured him inside.
“
Alright,
”
I said carefully.
“
We can talk.
Just
talk.
”

He nodded silently.

I walked towards the living room with Logan following me, but when I saw the television on, I remembered that my roommates were currently occupying the room. I debated talking with him in the kitchen, but I didn
’
t want Kass to walk in on us.

Seeing us together on the same night that I told her I had a date with her brother didn
’
t really sound like a good thing to me, so I made an executive decision.

“
Come on,
”
I told him, motioning over my shoulder for him to follow me.
“
We
’
ll talk in my room.
”

He didn
’
t say anything, and maybe it was just me, but I could feel the tension rev up a notch and wondered if this wasn
’
t a really bad idea.

When we got to my room, the tension got thicker. It was the first time I
’
d had a boy in this room before. If I wanted to study, it was downstairs or at the library. If I was hanging out with friends, we did so elsewhere. Even my female friends didn
’
t spend a lot of time in my room, other than Kass occasionally.

It felt weird to have Logan here now, a little embarrassing maybe, like seeing my private room gave him the chance to judge me too easily.

I watched him as he looked around at the posters on the walls and the baubles and knickknacks that filled the shelves. If he thought anything bad about them or somehow judged me for how the room looked, he didn
’
t say anything.

“
What did you need to talk about?
”
I asked him finally.

He took a deep breath before beginning.
“
Every time I think we
’
re making progress, we run into some kind of setback. You get angry or I get angry or we get interrupted and we lose the moment. But
…
I want you to know that I want this to work between us.
”

I frowned. How could I explain to him that things
couldn
’
t
work between us? That we were just bad news for one another.
“
I know you do,
”
I finally said.
“
But I just don
’
t think they can
…”

Sighing, he dropped down onto the edge of my bed, shaking his head.
“
I know why you say that, why you think that this is just a bad idea. I know exactly how I come off to people, but I want you to know that isn
’
t me. I
’
m not just some bad boy jerk
…
I don
’
t
want
to be that guy.
”

I bit my lip, resisting the urge to go to him. I knew that he thought I was staying away from him because he was trouble and bad news and he
’
d been suspended and I
’
d seen him fighting and any number of other things
—
but there was something else that had me questioning whether or not this was a good idea and it was the thing that really was the deciding factor.

“
Why don
’
t you want to touch me?
”
I asked quietly.

He looked up at me in surprise.
“
What? Why would you think
…
?
”

I shook my head.
“
You seem like you want to kiss me, you even said you wanted to sleep with me
…
but you just
…
you just don
’
t seem to want to put your hands on me at all. Do you just
…
not want my body?
”

I never thought that that would be the reason that I would hit a rocky patch with a guy.

His surprise morphed slightly, and I could tell that this was something that was complicated for him. Maybe even dangerous territory.
“
I
do
want to touch you,
”
he said, voice low and serious.
“
Very much.
”
His eyes did a once over of my body before heading back to my face. They flashed with desire.
“
But
…
but I come from a family that wasn
’
t so good with their hands. My father
…”
He sucked in a sharp breath, closing his eyes briefly as he composed himself.
“
Well, he was dangerous. Violent. You never knew when it was coming, but you always knew it was coming. Something would set him off and he
’
d put his hands on me
—
or my mom
—
and that was it. He
’
d hit until his knuckles bled.
”

My hand went to my heart, clutching tightly at my shirt.
“
Oh my god,
”
I murmured, moving to sit beside him.

“
I don
’
t talk about it. I
’
ve spent my life trying to convince myself that I
’
m not him, that I won
’
t make the same mistakes he did, but
…”
He shook his head. His bright eyes looked up at me, searching me out. He studied my face, fascinated with the way I looked right back at him.

“
I don
’
t really know what it was, but the first time I saw you, I knew you were different,
”
he said.
“
And I knew that I didn
’
t have a chance. But then we kept ending up at the same places. First at Mason
’
s, then at the defense class. It felt like three times, completely coincidental, couldn
’
t be an accident, you know? It had to mean something. It had to mean I had a chance with you.
”