Writing with Stardust: The Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers and writers (18 page)

Elsewhere in the book, there aren’t too many examples of repetition. In the mountain chapter, level 5, I did shorten the sentences and used repetition for dramatic effect. “
All
was silent.
All
was still”. It adds to the dramatic effect when repetition is used in this fashion. The fluidity of the writing grinds to a juddering halt through the short sentences.

The paragraphs, essays and chapters all have a common repetitive element. In each case, I

finished them with the senses of smell and taste. That is because the nose contains 1,000

smell receptors and it can identify or distinguish between approximately 10,000 different

scents. Similarly, the mouth, lips, tongue and roof of the mouth contain roughly 1,000

taste buds also. It is interesting that we can only recognize four main tastes: sweet, sour, salty

and bitter. If we were to block our nose while eating, that is the extent of our tastes! It is the

smell
of food rather than the taste that tells us what is scrumptious and what is not.

We are bombarded by a stew of smells and tastes every day. Most of the time it is a

subliminal experience. It is registered in the back of our mind, our subconscious, but not our

conscious mind. I set out to leave the smell and taste of food and drink lingering in a

tantalizing way for the reader. By repeating it in every chapter, I was hoping to reinforce the

importance of the ‘neglected’ senses of smell and taste. If your students can include it in their

writing, they will give themselves and the reader a more visceral experience.

    
                                  
 
MONSTERS

                             
ANIMAL EYES

  LEVEL 1            LEVEL 2         LEVEL 3         LEVEL 4        LEVEL 5          OTHERS

1. He had slitted, feline eyes and
cruel, curved eyebrows
.

2. He had feral, lupine eyes and
arched, brambly eyebrows
.

3. He had glinting, vulpine eyes and
sickle-shaped eyebrows
.

4. He had gleaming, saurian eyes and
scythe-shaped eyebrows
.

5. He had the glittering eyes of an arachnid and his
eyebrows were shaped like slash-hooks
.

                                                          EVIL EYES      

1. His eyes were
bloodshot
and blazed with anger.

2. He was
bug-eyed
and they flashed with cruelty.

3. His eyes were
blood-flecked
and glinted with violence.

4. He was
squint-eyed
and they simmered with spite.

5. He had a
basilisk’s eyes
and they were smouldering with vengeance.

                                                            
COLD EYES

1. His eyes were frosty,
two lifeless pools of abyss-black
.

2. He had chilling eyes,
two pitiless pools of pagan-black
.

3. He had cadaver-cold eyes,
two soulless pools of void-black
.

4. He had frigid eyes,
two merciless pools of cauldron-black
.

5. His eyes were as algid as an arctic wind,
two passionless pools of executioner-black
.

                                               A HEARTLESS VOICE

1. His voice was as lonely as a grave and his
eyes were a soul-piercing, Hades-black
.

2. His voice was as friendless as a crypt and his
eyes were a soul-penetrating, Charon-black
.

3. His voice was as haunting as a barrow and his
eyes were a soul-scalding, Styx-black
.

4. His voice was as desolate as a sarcophagus and his
eyes were a soul-shrinking, Lethe-black
.

5. His voice was as devoid of life as an ossuary and his
eyes were a soul-withering, Acheron-black
.

                                                   SNAKY VOICE

1. He had an oily voice and
a crocodile’s eyes
.

2. He had a slick voice and
the wild-eyed stare of a piranha
.

3. He was fork-tongued and had
the ice-cold eyes of a barracuda
.

4. He had a toadying voice and
the cobra-cold, bulbous eyes of an ogre
.

5. He had a snake-oil salesman’s voice and
the hollowed, sunken eyes of a nightwalker
.

                                               
OTHER FEATURES   

1. His voice was hissing through his
broken-glass teeth
and thin, bloodless lips.

2. He had a gravelly voice, jug ears, and
teeth as cruel as talon tips
.

3. He had a jeering voice, hatchet hard hands, and his
teeth were filed down into harpoon tips
.

4. He had a wheezy voice, frenzied eyes with spittle-flecked lips, and he was as
snaggle-toothed as a witch
.

5. He had a cruel, stony voice, a fallow soul, and his
teeth were as jagged as shards of glass
.

                                                             NOSE

1. He was hook-nosed and had
corpse-white skin
.

2. He had a barbarous nose and
paste-white skin
.

3. He was cob-nosed and his
skin was a shining, skull-white
.

4. He was snub-nosed and his
skin had an unhealthy, vampire-white glow
.

5. He had a raven’s nose, hooked and cruel. His
skin had a zombie-white, lifeless sheen
.

                                                            
HAIR

1. He had lifeless hair and
dogtooth-yellow fangs
.

2. He had greasy hair and
leprous-yellow teeth
.

3. He had matted hair and
nicotine-yellow teeth
.

4. His hair was lustreless and his
teeth were a filthy, jaundice-yellow
.

5. His hair was diseased and pestilent and he had
septic, canker-yellow teeth
.

                                                    MOCKING GRINS

1. He sneered at me and I could see his
fin-shaped fangs
.

2. He gave me a sly look and I could see his
saw-toothed incisors
.

3. His gaunt face gave me a taunting look and I could see his
twisted, scalpel-sharp canines
.

4. His pinched face flashed me a goblin grin and I backed away from his
serrated, shark’s teeth
.

5. He was hatchet-faced with a condescending smile and I recoiled from his
crenelated, tombstone teeth
.

                                                    STRENGTH