Wrong For You (Before You Series Book 3) (9 page)

After a few minutes spent basking in his light, mind-numbing caresses, he rolled off her, slipped on his boxer briefs, and walked toward the bathroom. She sat up in his bed, the sheet pulled up around her chest. Did he want her to leave? She didn’t want to push him, but she didn’t like the idea of being hurried out the door, either. With her mind darting between one crazy scenario to the next, wondering what he’d say or do when he walked back out that door, anxiety climbed the walls of her chest until she felt as though she was coming out of her skin.

“Hey,” he said, his voice deep, sensual, and a little predatory as he stepped out of the bathroom.

“Hey,” she whispered back, her heart pounding against her ribs, waiting to hear his next words. She slid to the edge of the bed, her legs dangling off the side.

The bed dipped under his weight when he sat down next to her. “Were you trying to sneak out the door while I was in the bathroom?”

He thought she wanted to leave. “No, she whispered, turning her head to see his face.

“Did I already scare you away?” He smirked, but his voice was flat and his eyes were narrowed, holding her stare.

“No. Why would you think that?” she asked, shaking her head, her voice heavy with exhaustion.

“Because I’m not good for you,” he said.

“I don’t know about that…” her voice trailed off only to be swallowed by the silence.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, placing her head in the crook of his arm as he stretched out on the bed. His hands moved in light caressing strokes along her body until she couldn’t keep her eyes open and she drifted asleep.

An hour later, maybe longer, she woke to Alec’s hands moving all over her body caressing her skin. When her eyes opened, he rolled her onto her back, pinning her arms above her head with one hand, leaving her exposed breasts arched toward him and already pining for him.

“Finally,” he said, kissing her lips and then moving to her neck.

“Finally?” she questioned, her eyes still heavy and thick from sleep.

“I thought you’d never wake up.”

“What? You want me to leave in the middle of the night?”

He flexed his hips into her, molding their bodies together and she could feel his erection rubbing against her entrance. “Does it feel like I want you to leave?” he mumbled as his mouth traveled the length of her neck to her collarbone, tasting her and grazing her exposed throat with his teeth. Each delicate yet burning touch of his mouth sent mini-shocks through her body, ripping her out of her slumber faster than she thought possible and coaxing desire from every cell in her body.

“No,” she moaned, pressing her lips against the delicious muscles of his beautifully inked chest. Not even close, and that was all the reassurance she needed.

With his head buried next to her neck, he rocked against her, her body melting a little more with each movement. “This is all for you, Little Violet,” his said, his rumbling voice reverberating through her sensitive skin, sending chills racing through her body.

The seductive purr that slithered, coating his words, had her heart doing frenzied jumping jacks. “Mm,” she hummed, fusing her lips to his with as much force as she could muster. When his tongue licked the seam of her lips and then plunged inside her mouth, she moaned at the taste of him, her body already feeling primed and ready to combust.

She shoved his boxer briefs down his legs, freeing him, leaving his erection throbbing against her as liquid fire rocked through her core. Lifting her hips, she moaned as she slid against his engorged tip. She wanted him inside her so bad she couldn’t find the words. Wrapping her legs around his hips, she tried to pull him inside her.

“Condom,” he said, his voice rushed as he pushed off her, reaching for a box on the nightstand.

“Right, condom,” she muttered, her stomach twisting from the realization that her common sense fled when Alec was around. She wouldn’t have given it a second thought if he’d just slid right into her. What the hell was wrong with her?

When he finished rolling it on, he positioned himself between her legs. “Ready?” he whispered, two of his fingers sliding along her sex, massaging her in small controlled circles.

“Yes,” she answered, arching her hips, silently pleading for him to sink into her.

Grunting an encouraging sound, he slid into her a few inches, pausing to push the hair from her face, his eyes burning into her, imprisoning her so she couldn’t look away even if she wanted to, and she definitely didn’t. His dark blue eyes looked black in the dim light of the room, but they were full of lust and need, likely mimicking hers. She angled her hips, trying to force him deeper inside, but he held firm, unwilling to move until he was ready.

Just when she thought she’d lose her mind if he didn’t move, he pushed deep inside and a bottomless moan escaped her lungs, echoing in the silence of the room. “You like the feel of me inside you, Violet?”

She released a strangled breath, clutching his silky black hair in her hands. “God, yes.” She had never felt anything better.

And then, he started thrusting into her in a masterful tempo that had her panting within a matter of minutes. She could feel her orgasm building with each stroke, just begging to be released. She shut her eyes, concentrating on each sensation, willing her orgasm to come.

“Open your eyes,” he demanded. “I want to see everything when you come.”

Her eyes shot open and he tore her hands from his hair, wrapping them around the metal slats of the headboard before leaning down and ensnaring her mouth in a drugging kiss that devoured her heart.

He pulled his mouth from her, pressing his lips along her face, then he moved to her neck, licking, sucking and she didn’t know what. Every nerve in her body stood at attention, throbbing and ready to tip over the edge as his powerful thrusts became harder, longer, greedier, slamming into her and then he hit the right spot and she felt as though she was flying. Spasms racked her entire body as she screamed in ecstasy. Groaning, his body went taut as he poured his release into her, but never stopping until he’d wrung every last ripple of pleasure out of her.

After a few seconds, she pulled him down on top of her, wanting to feel every inch of his skin pressing against hers. She ran her hands through his thick hair as she felt their hearts pounding against each other.

When their breathing slowed, Alec pushed off her. “I need a minute.”

She heard water running in the bathroom and then it shut off. Seconds elapsed, eventually turning into minutes and still no Alec. She couldn’t hear him moving, breathing or talking, just absolute breath-stealing silence and, oh fuck, she couldn’t do this again and relive the agonizing moments waiting for him to decide her fate.

She slipped out of the bed and found the t-shirt he wore for dinner on the couch. Pulling it over her head, she walked to the bathroom. Before knocking, she leaned her head against the door. Nothing.

“Alec?” she said, lightly brushing her knuckles against the door.

Still nothing and blood started pounded in her ears. If he wanted her to leave, he didn’t need to hide. She wasn’t a child. Frustrated, she turned the knob and pushed the door open. Alec sat on the edge of the tub, his head cradled in his hands.

“Are you okay?” she whispered.

He looked up. His blue eyes looked haunted. “I don’t know.”

What the hell did that mean? She folded her arms across her chest. “If you want me to leave, you can ask. You don’t have to hide in the bathroom.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I just can’t get the conversation with my mom out of my head and I needed a minute, but if I’m making you uncomfortable, you can leave.”

“You mean the thing about asking for forgiveness?”

He stood up. “Yeah, that and a few other things. It’s not important. Let’s go back to sleep.”

Wrapping his hand around the nape of her neck and rubbing it gently, he guided her out the door.

“Maybe you’d feel better if you shared whatever you’re thinking about.”

He exhaled. “Not tonight. Tonight, I want to escape.”

“Later?” She didn’t know why she wanted to push the issue. Alec hadn’t promised her anything, and even though she hadn’t known him for a long time, she knew he didn’t like to share. He said he needed her tonight, but that didn’t mean he wanted anything besides a warm body and that thought left her cold.

“Ask me tomorrow.” He kissed the top of her head. “Maybe it will seem better in the morning.”

“Tomorrow morning?”

“Yes.” He slid his hands up and down her arms. “I’m too tired to make sense of it tonight, and even if I could, I just want to think about something else.”

Chapter Thirteen

Alec’s eyes fluttered open, his legs still tangled with Violet’s. He turned his head, coming face to face with her very open and alert pale blue eyes. Her white blonde hair fanned the sheet beneath her head and she looked so damn pretty and fresh in the morning. It literally sucked the oxygen out of his lungs.

A faint smile tickled the corner of her lips.

“You’re still here,” he said, one of his fingers ghosting along the silken skin of her pale pink lips.

“Were you hoping I’d leave before you woke up?”

“No.” He shook his head. He liked seeing her face in the morning. It made him feel hopeful and alive rather than waking up with the heavy weight of all his guilt and regrets reflected back at him. “It’s Saturday.” His hands threaded through her soft hair, twisting it around his fingers. “Do you have any plans today?”

Not answering the question, she braced her body on her elbows as she watched his face. He didn’t know what she thought she’d find. He mastered his poker face as a kid and even his closest friends didn’t understand him most of the time. It was a lonely existence, but he didn’t have a choice, not when his mother had crafted his life around a lie that came to a fiery end—the death of the man he thought was his father. Living in the shadows seemed so much easier than vomiting his wounds for everyone to see.

“My brother’s coming home next week. I need to get some stuff lined up for him at the Foundation. He likes to volunteer there when he’s in town. He takes the kids on field trips.”

“Field trips?”

“Hiking or fly fishing mostly, and now that the Foundation has some money I can plan something bigger. I was thinking about an overnight camping trip the weekend he gets back or maybe rafting. I love rafting.”

“What day is he coming home?” Alec turned his head away from her. He didn’t know much about Violet’s brother, but he was one more person who could expose his identity to Violet.

“Next Thursday, give or take a day or a week. Ryder is kind of unpredictable.”

Sitting up, hanging his feet over the side of the bed, he nodded. He either needed to tell Violet who he really was soon or leave before she had the opportunity to put the pieces together, so that left a little under a week to decide what to do with her and his dad. Not much time, but it was probably better that way. He didn’t need to complicate his time in Montana anymore than he already had by sleeping with Violet last night. Get in, get out, and move on with his life.

“What’s on your schedule for the day?” She sat up behind him, her bare skin brushing against his back.

Normally, the women who passed through his life never made it to the point where they were still around in the morning. He’d been with more than his fair share of women since Chasing Ruin made it into the big leagues, but none of those women came close to capturing his interest like Violet had from the moment he saw her. This was uncharted territory for him, and even though he should tell her to leave, he didn’t. He couldn’t find the right words to navigate the situation. The minute she walked out the door, reality would come crashing down around him again. For some reason, Violet kept his demons in check, something no one else had ever managed to do. He leaned forward, scooping his rings off the nightstand and slid them on his fingers one by one. “I need to visit someone.”

“Who?”

“My dad,” he answered, practically spitting the words out of his mouth. Referring to Brad as his dad left a sour taste in his mouth. It disrespected the man who he called dad for the first ten years of his life, the man who he succeeded in driving to his death with a simple question. Brad could never be his dad. It was too late for him to fill that role, but last night when he sat in the bathroom alone, he decided to seek him out one more time and hear his story unless he slammed the door in his face again, and in that case, he’d finally be able to close the door on this town forever.

She kissed the top of his shoulder, her hands moving slowly up and down his arms. “Are your parents still married?’

Well, damn. Even that question couldn’t be answered simply. His life was a minefield. “They were never married.” He shrugged her hands off his shoulders and stood up. Without turning around, he shoved his legs into his jeans from last night. He needed some coffee fast. His head was already pounding and he could feel Violet’s unspoken questions bouncing around in the air, putting him on edge, and he didn’t need to be any more anxious than he already felt.

He could hear the slide of fabric against her unmarred skin as she dressed and it took all his energy not to turn around and watch. Spending all day exploring Violet, getting to know every little thing about her sexy, cute as sin body sounded infinitely better than knocking on the door of the man who hovered over his life like a specter. As much as that appealed to him, he kept his eyes trained on the coffee pot, trying to figure out the right amount of coffee grounds to dump in the machine. Where the hell was the nearest coffee shop when he needed one?

“Are you close?” Violet asked, pulling two blue speckled metal mugs from one of the upper cabinets. They looked more like something that belonged on a camping trip than in the kitchen. She slid them on the counter next to the coffee pot.

“No.”

“When’s the last time you saw him?”

Eighteen years, two months and three days ago. The day the man he believed was his father died in a car crash. Brad hadn’t bothered with Alec since, and even though his mom admitted to blocking Brad from seeing him, it wouldn’t have been difficult to circumvent her and fight for him. His mom spent more than half of his childhood drowning in a bottle of whiskey and god knows what else. That fact alone would have steered any judge away from believing her twisted lies. “A long time ago,” he answered, not wanting to get into the gory details of his life. Not even Taylor knew the man they considered their dad wasn’t his dad, just hers, and he’d stolen him from her with a slip of his tongue.

“Hm.” She leaned one hip against the countertop, brushing her tangled blonde hair from her face. “I know this is technically my apartment, but you can ask me to leave.”

He lifted the carafe and poured coffee into both of the mugs. Part of him liked the idea of hanging out with Violet today. The other part of him loved the idea, and that was exactly why he should ask her to leave. Violet didn’t belong in his world. She was soft, caring, and everything that any man with half a brain would want, and that was exactly why he needed to show her the door. His life would corrode her beauty from the inside out. There was too much going on in his life right then and he probably couldn’t handle adding Violet into the mix. His mom had cancer, she finally went to rehab after decades of needing it, his real dad was threatening to enter his life, and in the middle of all that was Violet, twisting herself into every beat of his heart with every additional moment he spent with her.

“I know. I’m sorry for not being more upfront, but I need my space.” Her face fell and she looked at the floor. Acid burned his stomach. “It’s not you,” he finally said, lifting one of the mugs and offering it to her. “I just don’t do relationships or the morning after shit. I’m a fucking mess and I can’t be half the person you deserve. Don’t take this personally.”

She laughed, not a small chuckle, but a big stomach moving, shoulder-shaking laugh. “Oh. Okay. We’re going to do the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ routine.” She waved away the coffee. “Save your breath. I’ve heard all the lines before. Have a nice life, Alec. I’ll see you around.” She shrugged, her back to him as she headed for the front door. “Or maybe not.”

When she flung the door open, a quick stabbing pain seized his heart. “Violet. Wait,” he yelled after her, not even sure why he stopped her. There wasn’t anything to say. He didn’t want to corrupt her with the lies, guilt, and betrayal that were the fabric of his life.

She spun around, her hand still glued to the doorknob as though it connected her to a life away from him. He took in her flawless skin, her glowing and slightly glossy blue eyes. Fuck, she was going to cry. There were a thousand things he wanted to tell her, like how beautiful and thoughtful she was and that her compassion amazed him, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t believe any of them. Pushing her away had everything to do with him and nothing to do with her. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve anyone. He had stolen Taylor’s childhood with one question, he had stolen his mom’s life by being born, and he had stolen the life of the man he called dad. Hell, he had probably ruined Brad’s life somehow, too. He was sure Brad would enlighten him if he gave him the chance.

He was a big fucking curse and he refused to taint Violet more than he already had. Taking in Violet’s wide eyes, angelic innocence, and the goodness pouring out of her with every breath, he needed to get away from her. Yes, he wanted Violet more than anything he had wanted in a long time, but letting her go was the best thing he could do for her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, holding his hand out to her. “I really am, but if you knew me, I mean really knew me, you’d run out that door as fast as humanly possible.”

“Then tell what you’re so afraid of me knowing about you and I’ll decide for myself whether I think you’re worth my time. Don’t you think you owe me that?”

No way, he couldn’t tell her everything. The look on her face would slay him. Some things were better left unsaid. “I can’t. Maybe that makes me a coward, but I can’t stand the thought of you hating me.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry for what happened last night. I shouldn’t have pushed you into being with me. I should have left you alone and untainted.”

A faint smile teased the corners of her lips. The same ones he couldn’t kiss enough last night. She pushed her velvety soft hair behind her shoulders and his fingers tingled with longing to feel the pale strands melt through his fingertips and tangle in the rings on his fingers. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t promise me anything.”

No, he didn’t, but he had saved her from himself and that was the best present she’d ever get. Too bad she’d never know about it. He had two things left on his agenda before he left Montana forever. The first included making contact with Brad and the second was shoring up a steady stream of donations for the Foundation, or at least financial independence from the family that owned the building. He owed it to the organization that had pulled him off his path of destruction and put him on another path. The path that led him to Chasing Ruin, the only thing that he’d ever have, the only thing good to touch his life.

Being with Violet was a pipe dream and he didn’t indulge in dreams anymore. Too many had been torn from him. Besides, if she could look into his soul and see the darkness swirling around him, she’d run away from him. He shouldn’t waste his time thinking someone could love him. If his mom and dad didn’t want anything to do with him, Violet wouldn’t, either.

She looked down, tapping her foot on the floor as though she had something else to say, but she took one more look at him, her eyes tormented, shook her head and stalked out the door, taking his heart and his last glimmer of hope with her.