Wynter's Horizon (18 page)

“Birthday presents for my dad.”

“Are you sure?” He jumped down, twirling them in his hands. “You know, these really are the perfect ties.”

“Yes. I know that’s what they are.”

“No. I mean ties … for tying you up.” He stood over me, gloating. “All you need is the right headboard.” I felt a lump in my throat.

“What?” My voice squeaked.

“Come on. Don’t tell me dirty little you never had anyone tie her up. Hell, even Abby let me tie her up, and she was hardly adventurous.”

I cringed at that mental picture. I wondered if that was how she had kept him interested for so long.

“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’re the prude, not the English dude. Is that why he’s gone? You didn’t give it up quick enough?”

“No,” I answered defensively. I squirmed in the chair, trying to stand up, but Jason had tucked his feet around the chair legs. He reached over and turned off the overhead light then switched on his desk lamp, instantly bathing the room in shadows.

“Maybe you need some practice. Come on. You know you want it.” He bent down, the ties loosely draped though his fingers.

“I bet if I went to all the right places, you’d be good to go right now. Your body just craves what I have to offer, even though you’re sitting here pretending to be all innocent, pretending not to want it.” He placed his hand on my thigh, running his fingers lightly upward. My heart beat so hard I wondered if he could hear it.

“Jason, stop—”

“Scared?” I hated admitting anything to him. He picked up the chair in one fell swoop, with me in it. I shrieked, grabbing the arms as he carried it precariously over to the bed, tipping it over in the process and groping me as soon as I hit the bed, his fingers tickling me under my neck. I writhed in agony, giggling.

“Stop. Stop,” I panted, crawling away from the chair.

He gave me a breather, regarding me silently as I gasped for breath. “Come on, Wynter.” He flung the chair toward the end of the bed. Quickly and expertly, he wrapped one tie around my wrist.

“Jason, I don’t want this…”

He kneeled over me, “What? You want to say no? Are you sure?” He bent and kissed me. I felt my resolve weaken.

“You know how you make me feel, Wynter,” he whispered in my ear. I had barely sat up when he climbed back on top of me.

“Jason...” He kissed me again, stretching my arms up over my head.

“Don’t you trust me?” Excellent question. Perhaps if I hadn’t consumed half a pitcher of beer, I could have formed a coherent answer.

“I just think—”

“Think what?” He didn’t bother to wait for an answer, covering my neck with kisses. I felt him tying my wrists to the headboard. I couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t know if it was because of him or what he wanted me to do.

“If you loved me, you would do this. You would try this.”

My mind felt foggy, slow, like running in a dream when, no matter how hard I tried, I never got very far.

“Listen, just look at me and don’t worry about it. You’re making a bigger deal out of this than it is. I promise we’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Jason...” He bent down and kissed me gently, almost teasingly, slowly undoing the buttons on my shirt, his fingers easily popping open the front closure of my bra as soon as it was exposed. I closed my eyes and prayed he would keep his promise.

***

In the thick silence that pervaded the room, I reached for the other half of my bra, somewhere dangling behind me. I fitted the two pieces of the clasp together and pulled the cups into place over my breasts. My fingers felt awkward and slow as I did up the buttons on my shirt. I wondered where all the easy banter from earlier at the mall had gone. I could barely think, much less talk.

Jason poured himself some kind of mixed drink. I scanned the room for my pants but couldn’t find them anywhere. “Have you seen my jeans?”

Jason cracked open a Coke and added part of it to his glass. “I threw them on the desk.”

I grabbed them, slipping them on self-consciously. Jason watched me, taking a sip. I spotted the open bottle of Captain Morgan and felt sick.

“So, what’s the deal with English dude?” I ignored him, trying to gather my purchases back into their bags instead. “Wynter, really, what’s the deal?”

“It’s … over with Beck.” I knew it was useless to lie. I was never good at mind games anyway.

“Seriously?” He sounded surprised.

“Yeah. It just didn’t work out.”

He took another sip, and I watched in horror as his face twisted into a disgusting grin. “Don’t come back, Wynter.”

“What?” It seemed impossible that, after the last few hours, his desire could hinge so entirely on my availability. He’d just done things to me I’d never allow another human being to do. I stared at my wrists, picturing where the ties had been.

“I’m involved with someone else, so I think you need to realize that we’re over.”

My brain barely registered his words. “But … you came to my room.”

“Maybe, and maybe not. But does it really matter? Who would believe you anyway—
if
I did. It’s over. I don’t know why you have trouble with that. Just leave and don’t call me anymore. I don’t want to do this again. No matter how much you want it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Really? It didn’t sound like faking.”

Hatred coursed through me then—for him and the power he had over me and for my body betraying me. “What the hell? You’re the one who arranged this.”

“I don’t think so. I think you wanted it. And that’s fine, but I have a very good girlfriend, and I don’t want to lose her over screwing you.”

“Girlfriend? Now she’s your girlfriend?”

“Yes. She has been for two months. And she’s sweet and nice, not like you.”

“If she’s so wonderful, where is she now?”

“Probably home asleep. She trusts me, unlike you. You never could trust me, always watching me like a hawk every party we were at. You ruined it for me.”

“Are you talking about eye contact? You’re the one who’s always staring at me at parties. You always said you liked it.” I was babbling, but I couldn’t stop.

“I don’t think so. I was just staring back at you trying to get you to stop. Eye contact’s seductive, but not when you’re like a ball and chain staring at me, at everyone I talk to. She doesn’t do that. She trusts me.”

His answers were crazy, and I knew it, but still I couldn’t stop. “Trusts you? And what was the last few hours?”

He took a drink and shook his head. “What would your friends think if they knew what you just did? What do you think Abby would think?”

My stomach flipped over violently, and I grabbed my jacket, ducking out the door as fast as I could before I puked all over his floor. I heard the lock click just as I heaved in the bushes behind his room. I followed the path around the back of the dorms, cringing as I replayed each image of the night. I had a vision of Jason entertaining a locker room full of guys.

I’m not sure when I started crying, but now the tears ran down my face faster than I could brush them away. I veered off the path when I heard laughter. Some group out and about. I wished futilely I’d never gone with Jason. I would never be able to explain to the girls what I’d just done—what he had done to me. I could only imagine their disgusted faces when the truth came out.

C
hapter Thirty-Six

Beck—The Woods

Drew called at eleven.

“You free to meet? Something we need to discuss.”

“Sure.” My whole night stretched ahead of me.

“New Haven? Usual?” He was very cryptic. More so than normal.

Quinn came with me. The diner at the wharf was packed even at this late hour. The waitress took our orders, and then I waited. It was his meet. He slid a manila folder across the table.

“A few weeks ago my guys picked up a call, from overseas to a mercenary we know lives up in this area. Nothing unusual. He’s for hire. One of my guys saw these pics and brought it to my attention.” I pulled them out. Black and whites of Audra and Michael. Dead. Matt Finolli, one of my guys. Killed on our mission into Col
ombia. Me in the airport in Boston. Wynter in her room. My stomach did a dive. Fuck.

“She an asset?” Drew looked at me as he lifted his drink to his lips.

“No.” I stared at the pic. Damn it. How could I do this to her?

“A mark?”

“No.” I could hear my heart pounding. I put my fork down. I didn’t need to bend it like a toothpick in front of Drew. He wasn’t aware of our powers. He just thought we were good soldiers with excellent records of success, excepting Colombia, of course. He waited, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“She’s just a university girl.” I explained, concentrating on the edge of the picture until I felt my heart rate slow down.

“Well … Beck, I appreciate your … interest there but take some precautions.” He slid another packet across the table. “Also, I’ve been hired for Colombia.” Quinn grabbed the folder, flipping through it at a furious pace.

“When are you going?” I asked. I could still see the drop in my mind, every move made as we trekked across the mountain toward the compound. Right up until my capture.

“I’m heading down there to try to negotiate first. If that doesn’t work, we’ll snatch, grab and waste’em, but, unless something changes, we’re a few months out from that. How’s the rehab going? You want in?”

Quinn closed the folder and handed it to me. “Absolutely.”

“Beck?” I could see El Teniente’s pudgy face. It woke me up a lot of nights. Screw Baxter and whatever he was hiding. We didn’t owe them anything. They had discharged us. And screw El Teniente. He was just a fucking lieutenant anyway.

“I’m back to running five miles a day. And yes, I want in.” I grabbed the two folders and stood up.

Drew took another bite of sandwich. “Just so you know, I did have one of my guys sweep your area, but he found nothing. I’ll keep you posted on Colombia.”

“Thanks.” We shook hands and left.

***

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Quinn asked as we got off the exit for the school.

“Yeah.” I raked my fingers through my hair. The picture from Drew had put a lot of stuff in perspective. It didn’t matter now what I had done to her that night or that she was avoiding me. I had to make sure she was okay.

Most of the dorm windows were dark. We pulled around to the back, and I paused, listening for her heartbeat. I could always find the distinctive sound of her murmur. My watch said two a.m. I paused making sure we were alone, before scaling the fire escape. Standing on the ledge, I peered into her room. It was empty. Clothes were scattered around, her books open on her desk, but her computer was closed and her bed was made. I swung back down and sniffed the air. Nothing.

“What’s up?” Quinn asked, climbing out of the Jeep.

“She’s not there.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Well … fuck. Where is she?”

I closed my eyes and let my senses roam. I could hear a car radio playing on the road nearby and music in dorm rooms, muffled voices talking somewhere, the smell of popcorn and stale beer. I started walking, letting my instincts take over. And then I heard it, faintly, the sound of someone crying. I moved quickly in that direction, trying not to jump to conclusions.

Quinn followed behind me. I picked up speed when I caught her scent. I passed the last dorm before the woods and stopped. The crying was louder, the scent of vanilla and baby powder stronger. She had told me about this place at dinner, about how she went to the lake when she wanted to think. Of course, I had never thought she meant at night.

I pushed through some trees and found a path, following it to a clearing. She sat huddled against a boulder, arms wrapped around her knees, sobbing. I knelt down beside her, not sure if she wanted to be found, especially by me.

“Hey?” I said softly. I was unprepared for what came next. Reaching out, she grabbed my jacket. Her body still racked by sobs, she curled herself into me. I wrapped my arms around her, unsure of what else to do.

She mumbled, “I’m sorry … I’m sorry …” over and over. Finally she choked out, “I’m such an idiot. I’m so lost.”

I couldn’t imagine what had happened in the weeks I was gone. She looked like hell. “No, Wyn, you’re not lost. It’s okay. I found you.”

She shook her head. “I let it happen.”

“Let what happen?”

“I didn’t say no.”

I had smelled him on her but tried to put it from my mind. Now, I took in the other scents. “Wynter? Did you say yes? Did you…” I couldn’t go on. The anger pumped through my body, and my muscles instantly responded, coiling up.
Control. Control. Don’t lose control.

“I don’t know. No. I mean yes. I mean … I don’t remember.” She answered in a little voice then started crying again.

“I’m going to get you home.” I picked her up and carried her out of the woods.

Quinn stood at the edge, looking sick. “Where are we headed?” His concern was evident. Home to my house was fraught with danger.