Year of the Monsoon (32 page)

Maddie joined him at the window. Linus pointed Mariela out.

“She is amazing,” he said. “I’ve been watching her ever since her mother’s funeral. She enjoys being alone, but it’s always her choice. The other kids all like her. They ask her to play, and sometimes she does. Then other times, she deliberately seeks out the oddballs and invites them to play. It’s like she can tell when they’re feeling hurt or lonelier than usual.”

Maddie nodded. “She’s a good egg.”

“What?”

Maddie smiled. “One of my psychology professors believed that some people are ‘good eggs’ and some people are ‘bad eggs’, and most of us are somewhere in between. The bad eggs are the ones who seem to have no conscience. They’re cruel and violent, with no empathy for other people. They can come from anywhere – good families or bad, or places like this. Then, there are the good eggs, the ones who would flourish in a nurturing environment, but who still find a way to not just survive, but thrive, in a bad environment. These are the kids who climb their way up from horrible conditions to become doctors,” she glanced over at Linus, “or priests.”

He grinned. “I think you’re right. Mariela is a good egg.” He cleared his throat. “She came to me last week.”

“What about?” Maddie asked in surprise. “If you can say,” she added hastily.

“Yeah, it wasn’t anything confidential. But she wanted to know if God could answer any prayer, even if it meant someone else had to do something to make it come true.”

“She worded it like that?” Maddie asked, frowning.

Linus nodded. “Yes. I told her God can sometimes touch someone’s heart and help them see something they were missing or help them realize they feel something they didn’t even know they were feeling. And sometimes it answers someone else’s prayer when that happens.”

Maddie closed her eyes for a moment. “What did she say to that?”

Linus smiled. “She said she was going to go pray.”

“Do you know what that was about?” Maddie asked.

Linus gave her a knowing look. “I think we can both guess.”

“Leisa.”

Linus nodded. “How is Leisa?” he asked casually. “She seems… wounded. I’ve tried talking to her, but she always avoids getting into it, whatever it is.”

Maddie sighed. “She’s been through more in the past few months than most people go through in decades.”

“So has Mariela,” he reminded her.

“Always assume the best of people,” Daniel used to say. “Then, if they prove you wrong, shame on them. But don’t ever get to the point where you assume the worst right from the start. If you look for the bad, you will find it.”

Leisa tried to remember that advice as she waited for a response to the legal correspondence on her behalf. Bruce’s partner had called the hospital Monday morning, and asked to speak with a patient account supervisor. He learned that the bill had come to Leisa because no payment arrangements had been made on the account to date. He informed her that Leisa was fraudulently listed as being responsible for the bills, and that he would initiate legal action if necessary. He followed up with a letter to them and another to Donald and Eleanor Miller advising them that they could all be subject to legal action if any collection activity against Leisa was pursued.

“Just when it seemed like we might be able to relax,” Leisa griped to Lyn and Maddie. “I was looking forward to a bit of nothing, now that the house is sold and the auction is over.”

“Well, how about our trip to the zoo this weekend?” suggested Maddie. “It will take your mind off things, and Mariela has been waiting for us to come up with a date.”

How is it, Nan would wonder, that she could have lived her whole life feeling a certain way or believing certain things, and then realize, suddenly, that she didn’t feel that way anymore? “It wasn’t sudden,” Maddie was to say afterward, when Nan talked about this. “It’s been changing bit by bit over a long period of time, you just didn’t see it.”

“No, it was God,” Mariela would have said.

How could it feel so natural, so right to have Mariela holding her hand as they walked to the ape enclosure at the zoo, or climbing into her lap to watch the snakes because they scared her? She watched Mariela’s freely offered affection with Leisa, and even with Maddie, though she was a little more shy with Lyn, and “she’s so resilient, so trusting,” she said to Leisa later, “even after everything she’s been through.”

At one point, they were all at the elephant compound, where there were two baby elephants gamboling about. Nan glanced down and realized that Mariela wasn’t watching the elephants. She was scanning the crowd as she clung to Leisa’s hand.

Squatting down next to her, Nan asked quietly, “Is this where you were when he took you?”

Mariela nodded, her dark eyes wide and frightened.

“He’s still in jail, and this time, we’re all here to look after you,” Nan reassured her. She directed Mariela’s attention to the elephants. “See how the big elephants protect the little ones? Watch, that baby is getting too far away and the grown-up is nudging her back where she belongs. That’s us. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Excuse me?” Maddie asked indignantly. “Are you saying I’m as big as an elephant?”

For some reason, Mariela found this hilarious and giggled contagiously.

A little while later, as they walked along to the next enclosure, Leisa leaned close to Nan and murmured, “I really love you.”

Later that evening, after they had left the zoo and stopped for burgers and shakes for dinner, Mariela fell asleep in the back seat of the Explorer. When they pulled into St. Joseph’s, Leisa said, “I’ll carry her up to her dorm. Be right back.”

Watching them go, Nan asked Maddie, “Has Leisa said anything more about Mariela? About adopting her?”

“No, she hasn’t,” Maddie said.

“So, hypothetically speaking, how would it work if someone was thinking about adopting someone?”

Lyn bit her lip and turned her face away to hide her smile as Maddie replied, “Well, most people start with a few overnight visits on weekends, just to see how everyone handles being together for twenty-four to forty-eight hours. You never know how it’s going to go, but that’s a fairly good way to see how compatible everyone is.”

She turned in her seat to look at Nan as she said seriously, “But I wouldn’t authorize anything between you guys and Mariela right now.”

“Why not?” Nan asked, caught off-guard.

“You know how much I love you two,” Maddie said, “but that little girl has been through hell. And so have you and Leisa recently.” She quickly considered whether to tell Nan about her conversation with Linus and decided not to. “I won’t risk pulling the rug out from under Mariela when you and Leisa still have so much healing to do. It wasn’t all that long ago that Leisa was on the edge of a breakdown. You’re still trying to get back on solid ground and until you are, I can’t take the chance it wouldn’t work out.”

“But,” Lyn spoke up hesitantly, “wouldn’t it help the healing to have someone like Mariela to love?”

Maddie weighed her words carefully and said, “That’s not a child’s role. Not anymore than when people think having a child will save a marriage. Solid relationship first, then a child. Not the other way around.”

The vehicle was filled with a very heavy silence when Leisa got back in. She quickly glanced from Nan to Lyn to Maddie. “What?”

“It’s probably a good thing you didn’t tell me about that conversation then,” Leisa said later when she found out. “Because Maddie was right.”

“How ironic is it,” she could have said, “that just as Nan is starting to believe she could be a parent, I’m questioning whether I should be one? Look at what I come from. I know, I was raised by wonderful people, but we’ve all seen that you can’t ignore genetics. We’re all a combination of both and you can’t ignore one side of who you are just because you don’t like it. I’m part of Eleanor, whether I like it or not.” That was the part that tormented her.

A week after the zoo trip, Leisa was surprised at work by an e-mail from Eleanor, also at work, saying they needed to talk and asking Leisa to call her over their lunch break. For the remainder of the morning, Leisa was distracted, wondering whether she should call Bruce first, and wondering what on earth Eleanor could have to say.

Nervously, she punched the numbers into her cell phone a little before noon. “Eleanor,” she said coldly when the phone on the other end was answered.

She could hear the tremor in Eleanor’s voice as she said, “Thank you for calling.”

Leisa didn’t respond, but listened to Eleanor breathing and nervously clearing her throat. “You must… you must think…” She started crying. “I didn’t know,” she sputtered. “I didn’t know he did that. I know you don’t have any reason to believe me…”

“No, I don’t,” Leisa replied, surprising even herself.

“It’s just, I’m so scared,” Eleanor gasped, still crying. “I don’t know how we’ll find the money. I don’t have that kind of money…”

Leisa felt her resolve wavering just a bit. She sighed. “It’s probably too late to change him,” she said, “but you created this. He is arrogant, selfish, lazy – I could go on and on. He’s a user, Eleanor, and you have allowed him to use you all his life. You’ve never made him be accountable for anything. He is healthy enough to get a job now. He could help pay those bills. And don’t make excuses for him. I’m done listening to them.”

“You’re right,” Eleanor admitted in a small voice. She cleared her throat again. “We’ll work it out somehow. But I wanted to tell you… I hope you know, I really did want to find you, just to know you’re okay, and that you grew up happy. I wanted you to know that,” she finished softly.

Leisa swallowed hard. “Thank you,” she said.

Leisa hung up and pressed her forehead against her hands, her elbows propped on her desk. “Why couldn’t you include me, just a little bit?” she longed to have said. She knew it didn’t make any sense to feel that way. “I want it, and I don’t – all at the same time.” Looking at how Donald turned out, she was more grateful than ever that she’d been raised by her parents, but a small piece of her couldn’t help wishing Eleanor had wanted her, too.
Or wanted more of me than just a kidney,
she corrected herself.

Chapter 24

“HEY,” SAID LYN’S VOICE
when Nan answered the telephone at her office. “Am I catching you at an okay time?”

“Yeah, this is fine. I’m in between clients,” Nan said.

“Oh, good,” Lyn said, sounding relieved. “I always hate to call you at work, but there’s something you need to see down at the gallery. Any chance you can come by after you finish?”

Nan glanced at the clock. Her last client was late. Looked like a no show. A good way to start Memorial Day weekend. “I could probably be there within half an hour. Are you there now?”

“Yes,” Lyn replied excitedly. “I’m working here all weekend. Just get here as soon as you can. I’ll be waiting.”

Puzzled and curious, Nan began gathering her things and closed up the office. About twenty minutes later, she was parking down near Fell’s Point. Lyn was waiting for her when she entered the gallery. She grabbed Nan by the hand and led her back to the office. There, in a small crate was a corgi puppy.

Lyn was wringing her hands, looking excited and apprehensive at the same time. “I know, I know,” she said. “But someone returned him to the breeder and they need to find a new home for him. I wouldn’t normally do this, but I thought I’d better show him to you first. If you don’t like him, I’ll take him back to the breeder. She’s a customer of ours, someone we all know.” Lyn rattled all of this off so fast, Nan couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

“Lyn!” she said finally, and Lyn nervously fell silent.

“First of all, why did they return him?” Nan asked.

“For some reason, they thought getting a puppy to go with their new baby would be a really good idea,” she said sarcastically.

“How old is he?” Nan asked, squatting down to get a better look at the small creature watching her.

“Four months,” Lyn replied, watching as Nan opened the door of the crate and the puppy come bounding out. He was still covered in puppy fluff, tri-colored, with huge ears that looked three sizes too big for him.