Yearnings: A Paranormal Romance Box Set (101 page)

Leigh was shaking her head.

“
I’m sure of it. When they release, there is a scent that smells like my childhood and there is a sound. Children’s laughter. Both times.”

“
The men you killed paid for children’s souls?” She sounded ill over it. “How? Why?”

“
Jean-Paul had cancer. Or he claimed to. The other one...I never asked.” He wanted to go to her, to comfort her, and erase the horror streaking over her features as her mind grappled with what he said. “I think Tristan’s soul is one of the stolen souls that the wolf is hunting for.”

Understanding slowly replaced the horror. “But if his soul was stolen....”

“
I can’t tell Beatrice. I’m not sure I’m right. It’s just that the more I think about it, the more my mind comes to that. I met you, and the wolf in me sort of merged. The souls I’ve freed since then.”

“
What if the wolf has been freeing them all along? Would you know?”

He frowned. He couldn’t be sure. He never remembered anything from those lost hours. The blood he’d often be covered in, though, would add up to that possibility. He shrugged, unable to answer until he could contemplate it further.

“
The men who beat you—could they have only been after Tristan?”

“
Unless the tong dabbled in soul sales on the black market along with opium, prostitution, and gambling, I suppose it could have been others. Although I can’t imagine a more ruthless group of men than that tong.”

“
But Grant, Tristan isn’t dead,” Leigh said. She put both hands to her heart. Her eyes grew glassy. “I can feel it. If he isn’t dead, no one could have stolen his soul.”

Grant’s brain hurt. He’d had it all sorted out in his head. Now, he was feeling more confused than ever. The wolf was urging him to find that soul. He saw now, he couldn’t avoid it any longer. If the soul waiting to be freed were Tristan’s, he would never forgive himself for prolonging its pain.

Did it hurt being forced to live in another person’s body? The wolf whined and paced. There was more. There were worse things than physical pain. He would never know the hell these souls were being freed from. The wolf didn’t need him questioning things. It needed him acting. Now.

“
I have to go.”

“
No. Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to anger you. I just thought you would want to know.”

“
Of course I want to know, Leigh. You can’t imagine the relief it gives me. But this is the wolf in me. It isn’t asking anymore.” It was ordering, and Grant saw now that it could take him back to blackouts if he didn’t cooperate.

“
I still need to tell you about Jacob.”

“
I’m sorry. It will have to wait. Go back to Bea, Leigh. She’s going to need you.” He had to get her out of here. He had to go. Now. To the roof of the train. The fourth car? Fifth. The woman was moving fast, and he had a very small window of opportunity to free the soul caged inside her. “Tell Nick to stay with you.”

He jerked the train car door open. A rush of cold air hit his face. The roar of the train overpowered Leigh’s words. Whatever she had said would have to wait. He slammed the door closed, edged toward the corner of the car, and felt for a ladder rung. The train leaned at the bend in the tracks. Grant’s veins pounded. The wolf forced through. Not fully, just enough to assert itself, in case he had second thoughts.

He didn’t have second thoughts.

He had only one thought. Freeing that soul. Finding a skinny rung, he gripped it and swung his body around.

The hunt was on.

~~~

Chapter Nineteen

“
I can feel what you’re thinking,” Jacob said, startling Leigh out of her bemusement.

“
Jacob! Where have you been?” She stood up from the bench, still in Grant’s private car. He’d told her to leave, but she couldn’t face Beatrice and Nick. Not yet. Jacob’s body looked strange. As solid as any living person’s. His eyes were now a deep caramel, rather than the dark chocolate she was used to. For a moment, she forgot what Grant had shared. Only Jacob occupied her mind. “I’ve been so worried.” Her hurt echoed in her voice. “I thought you were with the wolf all these days you’ve been gone. But you weren’t, were you?”

“
I’ve been...busy. There’s more to this situation than you realize, Leigh.”

“
Don’t leave me in the dark, and don’t keep leaving me. Tell me what’s happening. Tell me where you’ve been.”

“
I’m trying to find something.” He turned away a moment, then back again. “For now, I need you to trust me. You can’t tell Grant my role in this, Leigh,” Jacob said. “He has to figure it out on his own.”

“
What? Why?” She sat back down, holding herself. Her mind still swam with the stories Grant had shared. His mother. The tong. Tristan. She had been begging for Jacob to come back when he did. But she felt no better. Worse, in fact. “That makes no sense. He told me everything. Now I have to as well. He’s already guessed what you are.”

“
And it can’t go further than that. Too much is at risk.” Jacob took her hand and brought her to stand in front of him. His hand felt so solid. So real. “I just need you to trust me. It’s the only way.”

Leigh could swear she felt heat emanating from him. The kind of heat she felt when standing close to Grant. Searching Jacob’s eyes, she reached out. Her hand came to rest on his chest. She gasped. “I can feel you.”

Jacob nodded. Emotion shone in his eyes. The deep longing disconcerted Leigh.

“
I know. I can feel you, too,” he said.

“
I don’t understand.” She should back away. But all her life, she had wished she could just feel him. Just once. She’d thought if Jacob could just hold her, the whole world would disappear, and everything would be okay. “What’s happening, Jacob?”

He brought his hand to hers and covered it. She could see so much of him. Pores on his face. Whiskers about to become stubble on his chin. The slivers of browns in his irises. He didn’t answer her. Or maybe he couldn’t. Either way, she didn’t want to break this spell.

“
I’m trying to give you what I never could before,” he said, his voice hoarse.

A torrent of confusion rioted through her. Wonder at feeling Jacob for the first time. Guilt at having almost betrayed their secret by telling Grant what he was. She sucked in a breath. “Oh, no.” The feel of him wavered under her palm, making her reach out both hands to grab his shoulders. They were wider than she realized. He was taller than she remembered. “What if I already told him?”

Jacob frowned. “What did you tell him?”

“
That you’re a ghost.”

“
What else, Leigh?” He cupped her face. Fear and anger showed in his features, despite how gently he touched her. “What else did you tell him?”

She tried to remember. “I told him about Henry. I explained the letter. I told him you’re a ghost that I speak to.”

His eyes searched hers. “What else?” he whispered.

“
He said he already guessed you were a ghost.”

Jacob’s eyes narrowed. “I have to go now.”

She pulled at his shoulders. “No. Everything has gone upside down, Jacob. I need you here with me. You’re the only thing that makes the world sensible.”

Jacob took her into his arms and held tightly to her. Leigh sank into them, a thousand wishes from her whole life through coming true in that moment. She inhaled. But all she could smell was the faint metal of the train car. She listened, but all she could do was hear her own ragged breathing.

“
Shh.” He stroked her hair and laid his cheek against her forehead. “Leigh, no, don’t cry. It will all work out. I promise. I swear to you on all our days together, I might be gone, but I am still keeping you safe.” The feel of him began to fade. “I swear it.”

He turned her face to his. Leigh blinked at the wetness in her eyes, feeling him fading by degrees. The warmth, the solidity. “But you’ll come back. Tell me you’ll come back, Jacob.”

“
Always, Leigh. Always.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and like a breeze in the air, in a breath, he was gone. Leigh hit her fists to her thighs. She let out a guttural sound wrenched with emotion. It took all she had not to collapse to the floor and curl up there until the bedlam inside her died away. Only one thing kept her from that floor. Her momma. She couldn’t do that to her mother. She couldn’t give in to childish whims of curling up until it all went away. Her momma had been stronger for her than anyone. Even stronger than Jacob.

Leigh thought of Grant’s mother. Jacob had brought her through there in the church and while she couldn’t see the woman, Leigh had felt her. She had felt the poison, and she had felt the fear. Under all of that, she had felt the deep pain of regret.

Grant’s mother was so, so sorry for what she’d done to her children. She would never be able to undo it. She had wanted Leigh to tell them, to beg their forgiveness, and to tell them how very deeply she loved them.

That was the moment Grant had interrupted. That was the message lingering at the edges. Her own mother had never given in, though. She’d kept her chin up in the face of starvation, abandonment, kept Leigh safe from so much hate and judgment.

Leigh straightened her spine and pressed her lips together. No more self-pity. No more cryptic promises. No more heartbreaking tales. No more hiding in the shadows. Grant seemed caught between his own dark web of the past and the demands of the wolf. Leigh could not be the light to lift his darkness. Beatrice had enough to worry about. Nick had Beatrice. Jacob? Well, if he said he was keeping her safe, then she had to believe it. She had to face the fact that she was on her own here. It was up to her to get back home. It was up to her to unravel what really happened to Tristan.

She could do this.

Even if she had to do so on her own. She would find Tristan, bring him home, and when she did, she would free them all.

~~~

Chapter Twenty

She needed to go back to Beatrice’s train car. Heaven only knew what she’d interrupt once she did return. Nick loved Beatrice, probably to distraction. She hadn’t needed Grant to spell that out. She’d seen it for herself in the way Nick looked at Beatrice when he thought no one paid any attention. In the care he took to listen to her, in the way he seemed to want to protect Beatrice from the upset Grant’s shift gave her.

What a jumble that must create for both of them. Beatrice married. Nick honor bound.

Beatrice didn’t give herself enough credit, either. She was far stronger than she knew. Leigh wished she could find a way to help Beatrice see that. A good thirty minutes must have passed since Grant left, another thirty or so before that. Plenty of time for Nick to speak his peace, or woo the drawers off Beatrice, and then back on again.

Still being here when Grant returned gambled too much. Just the idea sent her imagination running where it shouldn’t. Bare skin and heavy-lidded eyes. Hope and want and fear.

Smoothing her hair and wiping under her eyes, Leigh strode for the door and opened it. The wind whipped at the strands that had escaped her braid. Two steps, maybe three. She took a deep, steadying breath. She only had to cross one small, scary space, and then she’d be safe again on the other side. With the door open, the scent of roses hit her full force. She knew that smell. A yelp sent her gaze toward the sky.

A shadowy form fell downward, a faint trace of gold in its wake. Leigh yelped, too. The train moved so fast that she blinked twice, thinking she must be seeing things. No. That was a person. A body. A trace of golden light. “Grant,” she said. Where was he? She craned her neck at the sky, she strained to hear some sign of him. The scent of roses was gone. Nothing but the dewiness of the night air and the acrid smoke of the train met her senses. She backed back into the train car and tried looking outside the other door, craning her neck to try to find him.

He was up there somewhere. Was he hurt? Was he in full wolf? An animal wouldn’t be able to hug to the top of a moving train. She couldn’t be sure a man could, either. If the dark form and glow had been Grant, she didn’t know what she would do. “Hello?” she shouted over the roar of the train.

A metallic-sounding bang to her left alerted her. One hand on the door frame, she felt her way to the side. With a gulp of courage, she peered around the edge of the car. Leigh screamed. Grant was hanging onto a high rung of a makeshift ladder attached to the side of the car. He didn’t even flinch. Shirt in tatters, his forehead against another rung, his body was nearly limp.

“
Grant!” she screamed.

His eyes opened. He attempted a grin, failed, and reached a hand out. Leigh took his arm with both hands and pulled. Two or three clumsy tugs later, she got him to the narrow platform and inside the car. Leigh scanned his body for wounds. She gasped in relief, seeing nothing but a scuff or two of dirt.

“
What are you thinking, hanging off the side of a moving train?” she shouted. “Are you insane?”

Grant leaned back against the door, one shoulder angled down, making him look all the more dangerous in his dishevelment. Leigh’s heart hiccupped. He grinned at her.

“
I’m getting better,” he said, his voice gravelly, his breathing hard.