You Only Love Twice (36 page)

“Are you sure?”

“I know one thing. I know what it means to love Phoebe
Grant, to want to protect and adore her. So I know what Jamie would want. Marry
me, Phoebe. Take the chance again because it’s worth it. Because we’re worth
it.”

Tears flowed down her cheeks and a sob was wrenched from her
chest. He’d seen her cry, but not quite like this. He held her tight because
this was a storm and he would never leave her alone. He held on while she wept
and couldn’t help but cry a little with her. For her and Jamie. For himself.

“I love you, Phoebe. I love you.” He told her over and over
again because she’d been deprived of hearing it. If he said it enough, maybe
she would believe it.

Finally, she began to quiet and her arms wrapped around him.
He kissed her and then slowly undressed her. He was certain she’d dressed for a
quick retreat, but now those little bits of armor were no longer needed. He
smoothed the clothes off her, worshipping her body with his lips, murmuring “I
love you” as though he could breathe it through her flesh and into her soul.

He eased them both back, settling on the bed. The world had
long since turned to night and a sweet weariness settled over him, like he’d
done a good day’s work and it was time to rest.

She settled her head on his chest. “I love you, Jesse.”

He brought the covers over them. “Will you marry me? You
said yes before but that was easy because you thought I would walk away. Now
you know I won’t ever leave you, not if it’s in my control. But I could die. I
want whatever time I have on this earth to be spent loving you, Phoebe. So I’m
going to ask you again. Will you marry me?”

“Yes. And I’ll stay with you. I’ll stay here with you and
we’ll finish this together.”

Together. It was everything he wanted.

He held her close and slept.

* * * *

Phoebe stepped out into the hallway, closing her robe around
her. The sun wasn’t up yet, though it wouldn’t be long. Phoebe had slept for
the longest time, missing dinner and whatever discussions had happened among
the team. She’d woken and showered and couldn’t quite slip back into bed
without trying to talk to Ten first. There was very little time before they
were all supposed to be at the airfield. She’d made her decision and she prayed
he understood.

“Hey.” Ten sat in the suite’s shared living area, staring
down at his computer. “I was wondering if I was going to have to wake you up.
My flight’s in two hours.”

“I have to talk to you about that.”

His face came up, an affectionate smile belying the
weariness she saw there. “I said my flight, sis. I know you’re not going to be
on it. I knew it the minute he kicked in that door. Well, and when the screams
started. You could spare me those. Please.”

She felt herself blush. “Sorry.”

He gave her a wan grin. “You tell that boy he better take
care of you or he’ll answer to me.”

Relief washed over her. At least she didn’t have to convince
Ten. “I love him.”

Ten closed his laptop and stood up. “I’m so glad. I’m glad
you found your way out.” He closed the space between them and enveloped her in
one of his big, all-encompassing hugs. “I’m going to miss working with you, but
I expect to be invited to all your very normal holiday celebrations. Well,
normal if Taggart doesn’t show up.”

She held on to the man who’d been her brother for half her
life now. When she thought about it, he’d always been her brother. They just
had to find their way to each other. Family was like that sometimes. “You have
to promise you’ll come and visit us often.”

He squeezed her tight. “I promise I’ll try. Hell, darlin’, I
might be sleeping on your couch soon.”

Because he wasn’t certain of his job. She was scared about
that too. “I think we could find you a spare bedroom.”

He kissed the top of her head and then moved away, sitting
back down and crossing one leg over the other. He hadn’t changed clothes. He
was still in his usual uniform. Black T-shirt, jeans, and boots. “I’m sure
Murdoch would love having a roommate. I’m putting him on a clock, by the way.
He’s got a year to ask you to marry him.”

“He already did.”

“Damn. That boy works fast. You say yes?”

She nodded. “I did. I know it’s quick and…”

He held out a hand. “No need to explain. Life is short, baby
girl. You take every little piece of happiness you can get. I’m happy for you.
Jamie would have liked Jesse.”

“He did.” She bit back tears again. Now that she’d opened
the floodgates, they didn’t seem to want to stop, but they felt different now.
They were somehow sweeter, almost a reminder that she’d been loved and was
loved again. As if grief itself was a way to remember the sweetness of life, to
magnify and celebrate it. “Apparently they became friends in jail. You do
understand what happened, right?”

“Yeah. I’ve thought about it for a long time. The Caliph was
looking to turn an operative. He got Jesse instead. Jamie couldn’t have known.”

“Even if he had, he couldn’t risk it. Jesse knows that,
too.” Her almost husband was a remarkable man. His ability to love and find
some way to move forward had taught her so much. “Jamie asked him to give me a
message. Be the girl who lived. It’s silly because it’s from a book, but it
means something to me, a little more than what I told Jesse. I think Jamie
meant it for you, too, Tennessee.”

“I didn’t read that stuff you did.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s the same message. Love can save you
if you let it. It can put up a wall that protects you, but you still have to
face it. The truth is bad shit is going to happen and there’s nothing we can do
about it. How we deal with it, that’s the measure of our lives. Do we roll into
a ball and hide like I did? Or do we open ourselves, even knowing how much it
could hurt if we lose it? I’m going to open myself. I’m going to love that man
with everything I have, and if something goes wrong, at least I’ll have had
that love. I am grateful for every second I had with Jamie. Every moment was
precious, and now I’m going to honor him by living. I want to have babies,
Ten.”

She could have sworn her brother’s eyes got misty. “I want
that for you more than anything.”

“I want you to have a family, too.”

“I always knew that wasn’t the way it was going to go.”

“Why?”

“I wouldn’t even know how to be a father. I’m not built like
that.”

“You are. We all are.” She backed off a little. Her brother
would be a long-term project. “How about you try dating? I bet Charlotte
Taggart could find someone to set you up with.”

His eyes widened. “That is the meanest thing you’ve ever
said to me. Don’t put that woman on me. She doesn’t give up.”

Sweet laughter bubbled up at the thought of Charlotte
playing matchmaker. “I promise nothing.”

He sobered, leaning back and running a hand over his head.
“I’ll smooth things over with the Agency for you. You have to know though that
I don’t have the pull I used to have. We’ve opened a mighty big can of worms
here. You and Murdoch need to watch your backs.”

“We’re not leaving. We have to figure this thing out or
we’ll be looking behind us for the rest of our lives. I don’t imagine this guy
is going to give up. There’s more at stake here than simply his identity.”

“There’s the identity of whoever he’s working with,” Ten
agreed. “I’m waiting on Chelsea to get back to me with Ace’s files and the name
of who recommended him. It’s going to take some patience. Apparently they wiped
his files when he died. She swears nothing is ever really gone. I have to hope
she and Adam can figure it out.”

“I’m worried about you going to DC.” She wasn’t sure what
waited there for him.

He shrugged. “What are they going to do to me? At least
they’re bringing me home if they’re burning me.”

Disavowed. Alone. She hated to think about it. The Agency
had been Ten’s family for a very long time. But being burned wasn’t what scared
her. “And if they’re bringing you home to do more than fire you? Ten, we don’t
know what we’ve stepped into.”

“Assassination? Nah. It’s easier to discredit me. I have too
many people who would give a shit if I died.” He stopped for a moment, a huff
coming out of his mouth before he laughed. “Holy shit. That’s what he was
doing. That old son of a bitch. I always wondered.”

“What?”

“Dad. I always wondered why. He wasn’t tasked by the Agency
to find young recruits. He did it on his own. He grew up without a family. His
parents died when he was in high school and he didn’t have siblings. It was
precisely why he was recruited. Smart, excellent deductive reasoning skills,
and no ties. It’s why we were told not to talk much about considering each
other family. He didn’t want them to know we had too many ties. He took three
kids who had no one and nothing and gave them the only world he understood. But
he didn’t put us in there alone. He gave us each other.”

“The Agency would have written Jamie off.”

“I couldn’t because he’s my brother. And they won’t kill me
because you would never let it lie.”

Because her love would protect him. “I’m not the only one.
Taggart, for all his flaws, would take on the Agency for you. You’re the only
one who ever thought you were alone. You had a whole family standing around you
and you’re right. Dad gave us that. He’s still protecting us even after he’s
gone.” She reached out and took Ten’s hand. “So don’t tell me you don’t know
how to be a dad. You learned from the very best.”

“We’ll get through this, Phoebe. I’m going to make sure this
goes away one way or another,” Ten promised.

There was the sound of a crack and Phoebe whipped her head
around.

Ten stood. “That was a semi.” Ten reached behind his back
and came up with a SIG Sauer in his hand. Her brother was never unarmed. “Stay
here.”

There was another volley of gunfire and then the sound of a
woman screaming. Ten opened the door to the hallway and disappeared, his lean
body moving against the wall.

“What the fuck?” Hutch had his boxers on and seemed to have
only stopped long enough to grab his weapon. And he’d been having a nice dream,
so it seemed. Or the sound of gunfire in the middle of the night got him hard.
It could be either with him.

Theo was right behind him, though he’d managed to put on a
pair of sweats. “It’s coming from Kamdar’s room. We need to move. You have a
piece?”

She hadn’t brought her gun out when she’d come to talk to
Ten. She’d thought she was safe in this ridiculously expensive hotel, but
naturally she was proven wrong. “No.”

“Take my backup.” Because Theo apparently slept with two
guns. He handed her a semi and then he and Hutch started for the door. She
followed, grateful that Jesse was a heavy sleeper. No matter what she said, she
hated the idea of him being in danger. She wouldn’t ask him to quit. It was a
part of who he was, but she would definitely use any excuse she could to let
him sleep so he didn’t have a chance to get shot.

The outer room was complete chaos. There was smoke and
suddenly the detector went off.

“Everyone calm down!” Ten yelled.

Erin was in the middle of it, waving her hand to disperse
the smoke. “Some asshole set off a smoke bomb outside the king’s room.”

Theo’s gun came down at his side as he stared at Erin. “What
were you doing in his room?”

Kamdar stood in the middle of it all, his big chest on
display. He wore nothing but a towel wrapped around his lean hips. “She was
protecting me from harm. This is all a ridiculous prank. Everyone get back into
their beds. It’s too early to deal with protesters.”

“I heard gunfire.” Simon joined the group. He’d pulled on a
pair of slacks and his dress shirt was open. Like everyone else, he was
carrying a gun. It was likely the best-armed floor of the hotel.

“I heard it, too. What happened? Did someone take a shot?”
Ten was down on one knee, inspecting the box someone had left outside Kamdar’s
door.

“One of Kamdar’s bodyguards got a little freaked out. I
think he thought it was a real bomb or something biological,” Erin replied.
“And I wasn’t sleeping with Kamdar. Not that it’s any of your business,
Taggart.”

“She is right. There was no sleeping involved,” Kamdar said
with a solemn look on his face.

“And this was definitely biological.” Ten grimaced as he
stood back up. “It’s shit in a bag someone lit on fire. What the hell is going
on?”

Kamdar shook his head. “The oilmen, they do not like me. I’m
too handsome, far too smart. They think they can scare me off with their
shittings, but they are wrong. I will simply take their biological waste and
use it to power my vehicles. That will show them. Come along, beautiful. Let’s
celebrate our victory over their waste.”

Erin’s face went as red as her hair and she started in on
the king. “Listen here. I don’t care how royal your ass is…”

Something was wrong. It didn’t make a lick of sense.

“I’m going to review the tapes, but this looks like some
sort of practical joke.” Ten looked up at the fire detectors. They blared
through the space. “Can we get these turned off? I can’t think.”

Simon moved beside her. “Where’s Jesse?”

“He’s asleep.”

Why would anyone risk a practical joke in a building where
everyone was armed to the teeth?

Simon looked back at their suite of rooms. “In your room?
The one that’s farthest from the lifts?”

She nodded. It was the farthest from the elevators and
everything. “Why?”

But she’d already started to answer her own question. If it
wasn’t a joke, then what was it? A distraction. Everyone should have been in
bed. She and Jesse had the room farthest from the king’s. She doubted Jesse
would even have heard the gunfire if he’d been awake, but the outer bedrooms
would have heard it easily.

Phoebe turned back and started to run. Her heart pounded in
her chest. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be because they would have to have gone
through the hallway. She would have noticed someone dragging a body down the
hallway. No one had gone past her so it was all right.