Read You Will Never Find Me Online
Authors: Robert Wilson
âWhat?'
âI'm suspicious of Esme, but that's because I don't like her and the feeling is mutual.'
âDo you think . . . ?'
âWhat I'm thinking my way around,' said Mercy, waving away the notion, âis whether it's better just to let her go or to hunt her down and force her back to a life that she's so consciously rejected?'
âBut she's only a kid,' said Makepeace, getting bewildered now. âWhat does she know?'
âI can tell you that she thinks she knows it all and that she doesn't need any further parental instruction.'
âBut in Spain?'
âAll the CCTV footage from Security at Heathrow has now been sent to Barajas Airport. With any luck they'll find her on their network and we'll see if she was met or . . . what happened.'
âYou're taking this better than I thought you would.'
âI'm not. I'm just showing you my calm, reasonable, rational thinking kidnap consultant side,' said Mercy. âI think you'd prefer that to the messy side. That way you won't have to hose down the walls when I've left.'
Â
Boxer was with Roy Chapel at the LOST Foundation's offices. Chapel's twenty-four-year-old-son Tony, who'd lost his job the previous week, was helping him pack up to make the move to the new office in Jacob's Well Mews off Marylebone High Street. This new office would normally have come out of the foundation's budget, but it had been gifted to Boxer by a Brazilian friend for an unmentionable favour he'd done for him in Lisbon less than ten days ago.
LOST only covered missing persons in the UK so he'd already told Chapel to stand down on the Amy investigation, but the ex-policeman was reluctant to let it go too early.
âWait until you get the final confirmation from the Spanish and then I'll stand down,' said Chapel. âYou never know.'
It was late afternoon when Mercy called with her request. Boxer phoned Simon Deacon from Roy's already empty office, explained the situation with Amy and asked him for the favour. Gave him Amy's passport details.
Deacon was appalled, hadn't seen Amy in years, still had an image of her as very young and innocent.
âDo you think she's been groomed by some creep on the Internet?' he asked.
âShe's a bit old for that, Simon,' said Boxer. âAnd way too sassy.'
âWell, as it happens I do know someone with good connections to the CNI, the Spanish intelligence agency,' said Deacon.
âLook, I realise it isn't exactly a question of national security,' said Boxer, âand I'm certainly not expectingâ'
âI know what you want,' said Deacon. âJust a bit of friendly pressure put on the hotel department of the Cuerpo Nacional de PolicÃa to find out where Amy stayed on Saturday night and whether she's moved on to somewhere else in Spain, Europe or . . . Africa.'
âTry not to scare the crap out of me, Simon.'
âWhat I meant was, that I'll make sure that my guy has them looking out for her in Tarifa and Algeciras so she doesn't get that far.'
âRight. Thanks. Sorry.'
âLeave it with me. These guys know how everything works,' said Deacon. âHow's Mercy?'
âCould be better.'
Â
âI don't like the thought of you on your own,' said Boxer.
âThis is how I am almost all the time,' said Mercy. âI'm O.K. I'm fine.'
He knew she was lying. She knew he knew.
âI'm coming over,' he said, which Mercy translated as, âI want to go to Isabel's.'
âJust leave me alone,' she said and hung up.
Mercy hated this, couldn't stand not having a case to work on. Just paperwork or watching TV for the rest of the evening. Flicking through the mediocre crap. Nothing on . . . ever. She was walking around her newly emptied house, which strangely reminded her of father's place after he'd died. She was searching for something. A vestige. A remnant of family life. In the kitchen she surveyed the clean walls, the white fridge door with not even a magnet on it ready for a photo or a list. She drifted back to the living room, blinking, determined not to allow the tears to well.
A thought occurred to her, a task. She would trace that boyfriend Amy had taken up with in Spain when she was fifteen, lost her virginity. He was seven years older than her. Was that a clue? This Glider, Alleyne had told her, was nearly thirtyâthirteen years older. Did she like them mature? Was this her striving for adulthood?
Upstairs was one of those half-rooms that so many London houses specialised in, too small for a bedroom, too big for storage. She used it as a study.
Mercy unlocked the column of metal drawers in the second-hand desk and worked her way through stuff she hadn't looked at in years. There must be something in here. She remembered a discarded letter she'd seen in Amy's wastepaper basket: the end of the unsustainable affair. She'd rescued it, found the sentiments in the Spanish boy's poor English rather sweet. Had there been an address? Would she have gone back to him? Maybe he was in Madrid now. She turned on her computer with the intention of looking through the photos. He was in there somewhere. What was his name?
Flicking through the papers, she was conscious of not finding anything she expected to. She went through all the papers in her desk, even the ones where she never kept Amy-related stuff. Nothing. Everything had gone. Even the childish drawings and paintings of Amy's before she went to school had been removed. She clicked on her photo library and saw that this too had been tampered with. None of the old shots were there. Not even the baby shots. Even the holiday snaps in which Amy featured had been either deleted or cruelly cropped. Mercy sat back in her squeaky swivel chair, surrounded by her stupid police paperwork and paraphernalia, a fingerprint kit from some course she'd attended way back in the homicide days. All that was left. Then the tears did come. In rivulets. Streaming to the corners of her mouth, where their saltine sweetness leaked onto her lips.
And then her mobile phone rang.
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Sasha Bobkov came round into a world of complete and impenetrable darkness. The fear leaped from his stomach and fluttered into his chest. He could feel his heart ticking in his neck. His eyelashes brushed against some sort of mask which was stretched over his head and the top part of his face, but left his nose exposed. A strip of material passed over his top lip but nothing covered his mouth. Everything was pulled tight by some sort of clasp at the back of his head. He was panting. His mouth was dry, couldn't find a bead of mositure in it. If he shook his head he thought his tongue might rattle.
His hands were tied behind his back and he was lying on some wooden slats. He could feel the gaps with his fingers. He reached out a foot and found the edge was about half a metre away. He reached his hands back and felt the wall. It was panelled wood, unpainted, unvarnished.
He lifted his head, felt dizzy, thought he was going to be sick. He lay back down again and tried to call out, but produced nothing but a dry cough.
A minute later the door opened and someone came into the room, bringing no sense of the outside world with him, as if this room and beyond were well insulated. A male voice spoke in accented English.
âYou awake?'
Sasha didn't answer, couldn't. His fear had closed up his throat.
âI heard you cough,' said the voice.
Sasha opened his mouth but no sound came out.
He felt a spout pushed between his lips, liquid trickled over his parched tongue. He licked his lips.
âHow you feel?' asked the man in a voice that didn't care, that was angry even.
âIs my mum all right?' asked Sasha in a whisper. âShe'll be . . . she'll be worried, you know.'
Silence. Nothing. Sasha felt the man's eyes measuring him. âYou scared?' asked the man.
Sasha nodded.
A finger poked him hard in the chest. He felt its point between his ribs.
âYou stay that way,' said the voice. âThen you don't get hurt.'
Â
Mercy flickered into consciousness, her eye drawn to the corner of the ceiling where the lining paper had come adrift. She was back here again. Not in her own bed. The black muscular back of Marcus Alleyne was lying next to her. How was it that the obvious mistakes she was making were becoming so irresistible?
He'd called her at a moment of particular vulnerability, asked her over. She'd known with absolute clarity that this was not an invitation she should accept.
He
had called
her
. How had he got her number? He was working on her. She knew it. And before she could say âNo spliff this time' she was out the door and in the car on the way to Brixton. She recognised everything. All her pathetic motivation revolved in her mind as she headed down Coldharbour Lane, which, to her, had always sounded like a place of last resort.
Then she was drinking a Cuba libre and trying to refuse a joint, which within two puffs was making her giggle uncontrollably.
Miraculously she found herself naked, her throat so clogged with lust she had to loosen it with more Cuba libre from the bedside table. She'd never been noisy during sex, but now something had been released from deep within her, something that had come up from her viscera and raked across her vocal cords so that she'd had to sink her teeth into Alleyne's hard, smooth shoulder to muffle her shouts.
Mercy put a closed fist to her forehead. This was going to have to stop. This crazy reinvention of herself was no way for the mother of a runaway child to behave.
âI can hear you thinking,' said Alleyne without turning. âI can hear you blinking, Mercy, you know that?'
âThat's because I'm screaming at myself for being such an idiot and I've got loud eyelids,' said Mercy, getting out of bed, needing to wash and leave.
âI told you something really important last night,' said Alleyne, rolling over.
âReally important?' she said doubtfully.
âYou've got to rela-a-x, Mercy,' said Alleyne. âYou know you can do it. You're just fighting something that's in your head. I don't think I've ever met a woman that's so . . . What's the word?
Conflicted
, that's it
.
You ask me, what you're going through now hasn't got anything to do with Amy. She's gone, Mercy. She's out of your hair.'
âYou know nothing,' said Mercy, quick and vicious.
âCalm down, for Christ's sake.'
âStop telling me to calm down. And what did Amy say to you about me, about running away, about whatever it is she . . . ?'
âYou're still right on the edge, Mercy. All it takes is one little word out of place and all that guilt comes rushing to the surface.'
âTell me what she's said to you.'
âNothing. No-thing. I've met her once, then again at the airport. Five minutes both times. She's a cool kid. I liked her. You got nothing to worry about with that one. She's going to be fine.'
âBut she's spoken to you about me. All that “conflict” shit.'
âYeah, the “conflict shit”. That's good. Good description of the bind,' said Alleyne, as if tying something up tight. âKnow what I mean?'
âNo.'
âI've seen the conflict shit for myself,' said Alleyne. âI don't need anybody to tell me about it. I can feel it inside you. It's like you want to come but you don't think you should, it's not ladylike or something, but then it gets too powerful for you so you drop your barriers and it all comes pouring out. That's what you've got to do, Mercy. Stop interfering. Justâ'
âJust relax. Yeah, I know. Get stuffed, Marcus,' said Mercy brutally. âSome of us have to stay focused. I relax and people die. What do you want out of this?'
âWhat I'm getting,' said Alleyne, hands open. âI like you, Mercy. I don't know why, but if I start poking around in that too much I might end up
not
liking you. And that would be a sad day.'
Mercy stormed off to the bathroom.
âTake a real shower,' Alleyne shouted after her. âA nice hot shower. No need for any of that bird-bath shit you did the last time you were here.'
She looked at herself in the mirror. Naked. Taut. Looked closer. Was there the worm of something dangerous in her eyes? She smiled at the âbird-bath shit', shook her head.
The shower was good. She could feel it tenderising her. All the tension flowing away down her back, pouring off her hamstrings. She dried herself with a big towel he'd put out for her, went back to the bedroom, got dressed.
âAmy went to Spain,' said Mercy. âMadrid.'
âHow did you find that out?'
âThe UK Border Agency.'
âYou got some connections.'
âWhat about yours?'
âI gave you Glider. Did you go see him?'
âI sent somebody else.'
âLike who?' asked Alleyne, looking nervous. âJust so I know.'
âAmy's father.'
âOh shit. The heavy dude.'
â“The heavy dude”? I thought Amy didn't tell you anything.'
âShe told me you were a cop and her dad . . . '
âWhat?'
âI'm struggling to find the right word for him, Mercy. Don't want you getting the wrong idea again.'
âTry using Amy's words.'
âDangerous,' said Alleyne. âNo, she didn't say that. I
thought
that. She said he's secretive. That's the word she used. He hides things. He looks like Mr. Straight, like he was in the army and a detective . . . '
âThat's right he was.'
âBut up here,' said Alleyne, tapping his temple, âhe's different. He likes gambling. High stakes. She told me when she came back from Tenerife that the reason she didn't want to go to Lisbon with him was that he'd play cards all night.'
âHe likes poker. It's not a crime.'
âHe keeps a gun under the floorboards in his flat. How about that?'