Yvvaros: The Clash of Worlds (22 page)

Thanks Sam

Luke’s body felt gross. Spending days in-game took a toll on his psyche, but it also affected him physically in ways that he couldn’t ignore. He walked back into the bathroom, and took a look in the mirror.

It was hard to recognize the face staring back at him. It was gaunt, and his chin was covered in stubble.  Luke shook his head in disgust and began vigorously brushing his teeth as though the unsettling imagine of himself in the mirror could be directly attributed to bad oral hygiene.

He took a shower, letting the cold water wash over him for as long as he could stand it.

It’s not going to wash away, is it?

Luke started laughing. He leaned against the back of the shower and slowly sank to the floor. The water continued to stream down over him, feeling, if possible, even colder as it traveled the extra feet to the floor.

After a few minutes he pulled himself together and dried off. His dresser was almost empty, leaving him with a pair of pants that he’d outgrown long ago and a Christmas sweater from an Aunt who, from the looks of it, hated him. After he dressed, he sat back down at his desk and instinctively began to reach for the headset.

I’m so fucking tired. I need a break.

Instead of getting back into Yvvaros he pulled himself over to his bed and climbed into it. His sheets, like everything else in the house, had been neglected for a bit too long. He needed to wash them but knew that he wouldn’t.

Luke closed his eyes and tried to sleep. The sun was still setting outside his window, but he knew that given how tired he was, sleep should come easily. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

He thought about everything that had happened in Yvvaros over the past few days. They were making progress, true, but it was at the cost of his emotional wellbeing. Luke felt dirty, as though the lengths he’d gone to claim the Elemental Wells had taken him too far against the direction of his moral compass.

They were just NPCs. Non-playable characters… what does it matter?

Luke sighed and rolled over in bed. The thoughts continued however, and he found them almost impossible to ignore.

Yvvaros had stopped being a game. Luke had been aware of the shift for a while, ever since his ill-fated attempt at going all in. But now, it felt as though the weight of the truth was gnawing at the back of his mind.

Maybe I should just go all in right now? And then find a way to live peacefully, without having to kill anyone or anything.

Luke knew that wasn’t a possibility. He was still needed in the outside world. The plan to take back Yvvaros required he have a physical body, even if he didn’t want it anymore.

Luke reached for his phone, checking to see if Sam had texted him back or not. She hadn’t. Another idea popped into his head and he started to reach for his phone.

I need to talk to somebody about this. Somebody who can understand just what it is that I’m going through.

Luke pulled Dr. Meyers’s business card from his pocket and dialed her cell phone number.

He heard her phone ring once, twice, three times, and then it went straight to voice mail. Luke sighed and hung the phone up. He closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow, hoping that he’d eventually get tired enough to fall asleep on his own.

His cell phone rang. It was Dr. Meyers. Luke answered.

“Hello?”

“Luke, it’s Dr. Meyers. Sorry, I was finishing up with dinner. Do you need to talk?”

Luke ran his hand through his hair and chuckled.

“Yeah, I do,” he said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disrupt your night.”

“It’s alright. My patients don’t need to talk just during office hours. I’m used to it by now.”

“Yeah, that makes sense, uh, thanks.” Luke sat up in bed and crossed his legs underneath him.

“What’s on your mind, Luke?”

The question was one that he’d been expecting, one that he’d thought he was ready to answer, but for some reason it gave him pause.

What is on my mind? Guilt? Fear of change? An inability to accept my responsibilities?

“I’ve been playing Yvvaros again, doctor,” said Luke.

“I know. I assumed that was what you called about.”

For a moment, there was silence on both end of the line. Luke cleared his throat and tried to collect his thoughts.

“It’s been hard for me recently, Dr. Meyers,” he said. “The game… Yvvaros, it’s not separate from my day to day life anymore. In fact, my life practically revolves around it.”

And that’s an understatement. I live in Yvvaros more than I live in the real world.

“Luke, you still need to keep your life in balance.” Dr. Meyers paused. “I don’t just mean taking care of yourself in the real world, you need to find a balance between the two.”

“I’m… trying to,” said Luke.

“What’s the issue?” asked Dr. Meyers. “I feel like you’re dancing around it. Not intentionally, of course. I need you to be candid with me, Luke.”

Luke sighed.

“I just… I look at some of the things I’ve done, some of the things I’ve had to do in-game, and…” He chewed his lip. “It sounds ridiculous. I know it does. But it’s like I said to you before, the game is its own world. My actions have an effect on it, and lately… I’m not sure if the effect has been positive or negative.”

Dr. Meyers chuckled on the other end of the line.

“I’ve been counseling video game addicts for years, Luke. This is nothing I haven’t heard before.”

“What should I do, then?” asked Luke.

“Well, that’s easy. Do you know the game Crime Theft Auto?”

“…What?” Luke blinked in surprise, wondering if he’d heard her correctly.

“CTA, as it’s called by most people,” said Dr. Meyers. “I had a patient once who was addicted to the game and yet completely ashamed of the things that she did in it. Do you know what I told her?”

Luke didn’t say anything.

“I told her that you have to find your own morality when it comes to video games as much as you do when it comes to life.”

“But, I’m not playing CTA!” Luke responded. “The NPCs in Yvvaros are intelligent, almost… conscious.”

“It doesn’t change a thing, Luke,” said Dr. Meyers. “Whether they’re conscious, or unthinking, or totally expendable, what matters is how you view your own actions toward them.”

What is she talking about?

“Why do we celebrate the deaths of terrorists in this country, and mourn the deaths of our soldiers?”

Luke shook his head, staring at his cell phone and trying to understand where Dr. Meyers was going.

“Well, terrorists kill people, and…”

I see what she’s doing.

“The United States military kills people, too,” said Dr. Meyers. “They kill more people than the terrorists do. They’re a lot better at it, too. But we view them as good, and the terrorists as bad.”

“So what, I’m just supposed to judge people on the spot?” Luke leaned his head back against his bed.

“You aren’t supposed to, you already do,” said Dr. Meyers. “If the actions you’ve been taking go against your own sense of morals, than you need to take more time and think about what you’re doing.”

“I don’t understand how it all ended up this way,” said Luke. “I started playing Yvvaros to get away from this kind of thing.”

“You can’t get away from this type of responsibility, Luke. It always finds a way to catch up with you in the end.”

Luke didn’t say anything.

“I have to finish cooking dinner, Luke,” said Dr. Meyers. “I have drop in hours every morning this week between 8 and 10, feel free to drop in if you need to, or call if it’s urgent.”

“Yeah…” said Luke. “I will.”

“Have a good night.”

“Goodnight, Dr. Meyers.”

Luke hung up the phone and rolled over in bed. He hadn’t found the answers he was looking for, but Dr. Meyers’s words continued to echo in his head.

Maybe I’m asking the wrong question…

CHAPTER 24

Luke finally managed to get some sleep. His dreams were a composite of the real world and Yvvaros, and when he woke up the details slipped away, like sand drawings in a high tide.

He sat up in bed slowly, feeling his body’s aches and pains more intimately after a night of rest. Luke wanted to put the headset on right away, but he forced himself to go downstairs and eat some of the food that Sam had brought him first.

As Luke walked back to his room one of his legs gave out underneath him midway up the stairs. He fell to one knee, and a fit of coughing broke out from deep inside his chest.

My body… I’m not taking care of it like I should be.

He shook the episode off and continued back to his desk. Tapping his way through the login sequence, Luke pulled on his VR headset and entered Yvvaros.

He was back in the Stark Town Inn. It was almost completely empty save for a single group of players at a table close to the door and a bored looking bartender in the back.

“Can I get you something?” asked the bartender.

Luke shook his head no and made his way outside.

The sky was deeply overcast, giving the morning a somber feel. There were players moving about Stark Town but not as many as Luke was used to, even on a weekday morning.

The Arbiters are winning. Is it because they’ve scared everyone off, or have they killed that many people?

He turned towards Dunidan’s rest and began walking. A red blinking envelope icon was in the corner of his vision. He reached into his satchel and pulled out the message, it was from Silverstrike.

Kato,

We’re meeting up a short distance away from the bridge over to Carthac Island. The other guilds are expecting us to present a plan of action to the group. You won’t have to do much other than let me do the talking, and chime in when I refer to you, Mr. Hero of Kantor.

Silverstrike

Luke furrowed his brow. He trusted Ben, almost more than anyone else he’d ever known. Lately, however, it had gotten harder. His friend’s erratic behavior and addictions were making him unpredictable.

He’s probably just stressed out from his role in organizing the rebellion. After this meeting, he’ll be able to mellow out again.

Luke tore the letter up and started south. Carthac Island was almost directly to the west of Dunidan’s Rest, on the coast of the Sarchia Desert. It was close enough to the mainland that it could easily be seen from shore. He wasn’t surprised that someone had built a connecting bridge.

As far as Luke could tell, construction in Yvvaros had few, if any limits. Most of the blueprints available for purchase were for larger, traditional structures. The guild hall that he had built shortly after The Consulate had claimed Dunidan’s Rest had been one of those, as had been the wall that he’d constructed later on. Even the ship in Megwin’s Bay he had taken to Wrye Island had been constructed using a blueprint.

But not all of the structures in Yvvaros required blueprints. There was no limit to what a player with enough imagination could construct. Wooden logs could be turned into wooden planks, iron could be turned into nails or spikes, and a variety of different materials could be crafted into rope. With even just those basic ingredients, the sky was the limit.

Luke focused back on the area in front of him as he headed south. Like Stark Town, the Inner Plains were quieter and emptier than usual.  Luke neared the border between the grasslands and Sarchia Desert, he frowned to himself.

I haven’t seen any Arbiters out today. Are they out on another witch hunt, or are they getting ready to strike?

He pushed the thought out of his head. There was no point in being paranoid. None of the guilds in the meeting, Luke’s own excluded, had agreed to anything beyond a simple alliance. It was foolish for him to read too deeply into a quiet morning.

Silverstrike came into view on the horizon. He sat on the top of a dune fidgeting with the sand. Luke slowed as he approached.

“Hey man,” he said. “You ready?”

“We’re still waiting on Tess,” said Silverstrike. “She’s tending to the farm in Dunidan’s Rest, but wanted to be at the meeting so the two of you could head south to the Caves of Exton right after it’s over.”

Luke nodded.

“Did you get a chance to talk to her yesterday, or this morning?” asked Luke. “About… well, everything?”

Silverstrike looked at him and shrugged.

“I guess,” he said. “She’s Tess, Luke. She’s not Emily anymore, even if they share memories.”

“How can you say that? Silverstrike… Ben, you acting this way is really hurting her.”

“She hurt me, Luke.” Silverstrike spat into the sand next to him. “She abandoned me.”

What am I supposed to say to that? He’s not wrong…

Luke didn’t say anything. After a moment, Silverstrike stood up and dusted sand off his legs.

“I’ll be right back,” he said. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“Hold on, I haven’t-”

Silverstrike disappeared in an instant, the telltale sign of a player logging out. About a minute went by with no sign of him.

“Hey!” Tess came running from the east, her dress armor billowing behind her. “Sorry I’m late, I was just making sure all of the plants were watered. Where’s Silverstrike?”

As if on cue, Silverstrike reappeared in the same spot he’d been in a minute earlier. He was grinning and stumbled as he took a step forward down the slope of the dune.

“What was that about?” asked Luke. “Hey, you didn’t just-”

“Shall we?” Silverstrike pumped his fist into the air, the gesture threw him slightly off balance and he stumbled again. He shrugged, still wearing a goofy grin. “It’s time to get this show on the road, are you ready, Hero of Kantor?”

Luke looked over at Tess, but neither of them said anything. Silverstrike started forward toward the coastal edge of the desert, and the two of them followed behind.

After twenty of minutes of walking, the bridge to Carthac Island came into view. It was larger than Luke had expected. Made from broad boards, rope and barrels, it bobbed gently on the waves.