Z14 (Zombie Rules) (28 page)

             
“So, I’d been playing the guitar since I was around ten or so, and did a lot of singing in the shower. I graduated to karaoke and eventually found myself in a band. We travelled around the south playing in every roadhouse and dive bar out there. In the middle of it all, I sowed many a wild oat and pitched our songs to anyone who would listen. Somehow, a major label in Nashville liked our music and signed us on. We were scheduled to be the opening act at that fancy arena downtown, when that danged plague took over.”

             
“How did you survive?” Julie asked.

             
“We had our bus parked in the underground garage at the hotel.” He gestured at us with the bottle. “Now here’s the funny shit. This hotel was supposed to have a five-star restaurant. Well, guess what? Most of their food was canned or frozen. Those hypocrites tried to claim all of their food was fresh, which was total bullshit, but it turned out to be a boon for us. All of that canned food didn’t rot on us, we had plenty to eat.” His expression turned somber.

             
“How many in your group were there?” I asked.

             
“There were nine of us at first. We were in the bus having a little party when one of my buds comes running in and said there was a massive riot going on in the streets. We locked ourselves in the bus. It got crazy real quick like. People were running around like their asses were on fire and they were all trying to drive their cars out of the garage at the same time. All they did was crash into each other and block the entrances, which also turned out okay, sort of. We were trapped in, but it plugged up the holes enough where most of them infected things kept on walking instead of coming inside the garage.” He looked at the bottle before looking up.

             
“The bus windows were tinted. Nobody could see in. We watched as people attacked other people and tore into them. It was awful man, just awful.” He drank heavily this time.

             
“On the second day, four of our group decided for some stupid reason to make a break for it. Those idiots didn’t even know where they were going. Well, they made it out of the garage and out of our sight.” He shook his head. “We heard these ungodly screams a minute later. That was enough for the rest of us. We kept ourselves locked in the bus until the food ran out. Then we went exploring and found the service entrance to the kitchen. Like I said, everything they served was frozen or came out of a can. We were lucky.” He gave a short laugh. “Yeah, real lucky.” He drank some more, remembered his manners and offered the bottle to Howard. Howard wiped it off and took a small sip.

             
“Here’s the crazy shit. First, the electricity and the water in that hotel stayed on for about three months. But, oh yeah, here’s the crazy thing. We were all fine until the second time we ventured out of the bus. We snuck out at night and took turns taking a shower in the manager’s office. Then we stocked up on food, water, and booze before hightailing it back to the bus. We had a good time that night. Hell, this little groupie who was hanging out with us got drunk and did a little strip tease. She ended up in the sack with Ed, my bass player.” He smiled at the memory.

             
“Yeah, it was a good night. The next day she was sick as a dog. At first, we thought she was hung over, but it was worse. She attacked Ed. Ed bashed her brains in, but she had scratched and bit him several times. We knew she was infected and Ed had probably become infected too, so we kicked him off of the bus and tossed out the girl’s body right behind him.” Rowdy shook his head sadly.

             
“He stood outside the bus door begging for us to let him back in. It took about two hours, and then he started changing. He was…” He left the sentence unfinished.

             
“Well, let’s just say that one of us put him out of his misery. After that, our congeniality with each other went to hell in a handbag. I must admit, I was probably the worst one. One day, we were sitting around boozing it up and got into an argument over something stupid. I got my gun out and waved it around. Hell, I even shot it a couple of times.” He pointed at the bus. “I got a couple of holes in the roof.” He snorted and reached for the bottle.

             
“So everyone left me. They set themselves up in a few rooms in the hotel. I tried to apologize the next day, but they banished me I guess you’d say.” He scratched his head and followed up with his beard.

             
“That was about six months ago. They fixed me good. You see, that hotel is full of zombies, all trapped in the rooms. They have no fucking idea how to open the doors, so they’re stuck. I tried to find my friends, but every room I tried had some of those rotten sons of bitches in it. I finally gave up looking for them. For all I know they’re either still hiding out, or they took a chance and left without telling me goodbye.” He chuckled without humor at the memory.

             
“During all of this, I would peek out of the windows and check the streets every day. There used to be thousands of those things wandering around, so I was stuck in that damned hotel for, shit let’s see, a year?” He frowned at the memory.

             
“I never thought much of prisoners doing solitary, but man let me tell you, it’s enough to drive anyone crazy.” This memory called for another stiff belt.

             
“There was enough bottled water and canned stuff to keep me alive, but when the electricity went out, most of the time I had to eat without benefit of cooking. When the water went out, I used the water in the toilet tanks to wash, which was no fun at all.” He shivered in disgust at the thought.

             
“Anyway, I would peek out of the windows every chance I could. After a while, I noticed the numbers of them rotten motherfuckers were significantly less every day. One day I watched a few of them no good cocksuckers walking aimlessly, and then they fell over and didn’t get back up. The next morning I walked up the stairs to the top floor and looked out a window.” He looked off into the distance.

             
“There were dead motherfuckers everywhere you could see. Oh, there were still some of those pus infested bastards wandering around, but not nearly as many as there used to be.”

             
“So you made a break for it?” Howard asked.

             
Rowdy shrugged. “After being totally alone for six months straight, I couldn’t take it anymore Hoss. I had to get out of there.” His eyes started watering up now. We found other things to look at. After a minute he dabbed his eyes and continued.

             
“I stocked up as much food, bottled water, and booze as I could cram in this bus, and managed to get some of the cars moved out of the way. Now, here I am.”

             
“But why here?” Julie asked. “Where were you going?”

             
“The Interstate is clogged up tighter than a constipated pig, darlin’. There was no possible way to maneuver a bus through all of those trucks and cars. I was trying to take the back roads to go back to Alabama, but I made one big mistake.” We all looked at him questioningly.

             
“I ran out of fucking gas!” He said and then howled with sudden laughter.

             
“I got out and looked around, and that’s when I saw the young lady there meandering down the road.” He peered over at her headless body. “She looked different from the other zombies I’ve seen.”

             
“So, you climbed up on the roof and started singing to her? I asked. Rowdy grinned and nodded.

             
“She was the closest thing I’ve seen to a live human in quite a while. I know it sounds crazy, but I was enjoying the company. It seemed like the thing to do at the time.” Rowdy exclaimed. Howard chuckled. I shook my head in disbelief.

             
“Well, there is one other thing.” He pointed at one of the trees we had cut up and moved off of the road.

             
“When I saw those trees, I told myself, somebody had cut them up recently. Now, I might not be the shiniest piece of corn in the manure pile, but I realized there were some live people somewhere around here. All I had to do was cop a squat and wait.” He looked over at Julie.

             
“And here you are. If God is especially good, you’ll tell me you have an older nymphomaniac sister somewhere nearby.” He said with a hopeful grin.

             
While the three of them talked, I walked over to the corpse, specifically, the decapitated head, rolled it over and looked at the eyes. To my chagrin, they opened and she gnashed at me with her teeth. It caused me to flinch and jump back. Julie must have noticed and walked over.

             
“What is it?” She asked.

             
“The head is still alive.” I said. She looked, and gave out a yelp when it looked at her.

             
“What’s wrong with her eyes?” She asked. The zombie’s eyes were an opaque shade of black. The pupils were barely discernible. Wanting to conserve ammunition and keep noise to a minimum, I found a rock on the side of the road of sufficient size and was about to bash its skull in, but hesitated. I remembered the experiments conducted by Boom-Boom. Here was my chance to conduct my own experiments. I looked over at Julie. She seemed to know what I was thinking and slowly shook her head.

             
I brought the rock down.

              “What do you think of him?” I asked. We’d all eaten dinner at the Howard’s new home and were now sitting on the couch with Andie and lovable Curly. He had given Andie a good sniffing when she first arrived and decided he liked her. I was sitting in between her and Julie, who currently had her head on my shoulder.

             
“He’s a piece of work.” Julie said. “I think he’s a little off in the head from being stuck in the garage for so long.”

             
“Is he going to stay?” Andie asked.

             
“I don’t know. Tomorrow I’ll give him a few gallons of diesel after breakfast. He’ll probably move on.” Andie looked a little sad at the thought.

              They drove back to the plane in silence. Sarah would occasionally glance over at Fred. He stared straight ahead, his features a sculpture of stone, unreadable. Sarah adeptly drove around obstacles, which included wrecked automobiles, corpses, and zombies. They arrived back at the airport without further incident. The sergeant and his girlfriend were nowhere to be seen.

             
“I’m going to jump all in their ass.” Sarah said under her breath.

             
Fred seemed to come to his senses. He grabbed the empty magazines and began hurriedly loading them. Sarah stopped the Humvee two hundred yards away from the C130 and scanned the surrounding area for any signs of life while Fred continued reloading.

             
“What’s it looking like Sarah?” He asked quietly.

             
“I don’t see anyone. The ramp is still down, but the start cart isn’t hooked up. There’s something not right here.”

             
Fred didn’t respond immediately. He finished loading the magazines and looked ahead. “If you don’t mind putting up with some more John Wayne antics, I’d like for you to cover me from here while I go and check out the plane.” Fred saw Sarah about to object, but he stopped her with an upraised index finger. “I can stay here and provide cover if you like, but once you go inside the plane you will be on your own. I’m pretty decent with my six-shooters is the only reason I suggested going into the plane by myself, unless you have a better idea.”

             
Sarah stopped before she voiced her objections and looked at Fred. She realized he made perfect sense, which surprised her, considering he was a man.

             
“Alright, but how will I know if you’re in trouble?” She asked.

             
“Well, if you hear me shooting, that’ll be a good indicator. Now, in case I run up on any people, I want to show you some hand signals I learned from a good friend.”

              Sarah drove the Humvee closer and stopped it a hundred yards away from their C130. Fred got out and walked the rest of the way with his M4 at the ready. It was a pleasant evening, with a light easterly breeze. The whole place smelled bad, which made it difficult trying to discern any distinct odors of nearby zombies. He edged his way onto the loading ramp and stopped a moment to let his eyes adjust to the dim light.

             
“Sergeant, are you in here?” Fred asked the darkness. He was met by silence. He slowly worked his way through the plane and then slowly went up the stairs. He had climbed only a few steps when he heard a loud moaning. Fred thought he knew what it was, but still could not believe it when he walked into the cockpit. Both of them were buck naked.

             
Sergeant Fandis was sitting in the pilot’s seat. His female soldier companion was straddling him. Her eyes were closed in ecstasy, and her breasts had a steady bobbing rhythm as she bounced up and down with the tenacity of the energizer bunny. Fandis looked back over his shoulder.