Read Zits from Python Pit #6 Online
Authors: M. D. Payne; Illustrated by Keith Zoo
The door slowly creaked to a close.
BANG.
“Welcome to The House of Eternal Rest!” said François.
“You can check in, but you'll never check out,” I mumbled.
“We're gonna figure this out,” Shane said. “How's your head?”
“Better, now that I'm inside,” I said.
François led us through the entryway. It seemed eerily quiet without the chatter of bugs and squawks of birds and monkeys. Even the monkey on my shoulder stayed quiet.
“It's actually not as dreary in here as I thought it would be,” said Ben. “Only mildly mildewy. Nice and cool.”
“Only slightly drafty,” said Nabila.
“High ceilings, plenty of natural light,” said Shane.
“We're still working on the natural-light issue,” said François. “The residents have been complaining. The only good thing about our previous facility was the fact that it was completely sealed off from sunlight.”
Suddenly, a dark figure dropped from the massive skylight in the center of the huge room. The room went dark, and there was a blast of cold air.
WHOOOOSH!
“Duck!” yelled Shane.
A massive, leathery creature flew down toward us.
SQUUUUUUUUAK!
My friends and I hit the floor. The monkey grabbed my head so hard, I thought my skull was going to crack. I moved his wrinkly little hand from my eye and saw Director Z and the monsters staring at the winged creature in wonder. It came within inches of their faces before flying back up to the ceiling.
“Vow,” said Grigore. “It's the most ancient monster I've ever seen.”
“Amazing,” agreed Pietro. “That wingspan must be at least fifteen feet!”
WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH.
The great flaps of the creature's wings blew cool air into our faces.
“Good evening, Kongamato,” said François. “Enjoy your night!”
Kongamato flapped down the hallway toward the back of the building.
We stood up and brushed the moldy dust off of our clothes. The monkey shook his fist at Kongamato.
“Was that a pterosaur?” asked Ben.
“Some would say so,” said François. “Others might call him a hairless bat or birdâthough I wouldn't. We have a few other mysterious creatures like himâthough they are all land-based.”
“Dinosaurs?” Shane said. “So this is
Tomb Raider
AND
Jurassic Park
?”
“Not exactly,” said François. “But close. Their ancestors were dinosaurs, and thousands of generations later, something between rhinos and cerapods, between bats and pterosaurs, roams the deepest jungles of the Congo. Monsters feared by the pygmy tribes that used to rule this land. Modern times have left very few. But they are here with us.”
“Heeeeeeeeyyyyy!” A tiny voice echoed through the cavernous room. “Let us out!”
François rolled his eyes and rushed into a small room next to the massive center room.
“These guys are so impatient,” François huffed.
“Which guys?” I asked. I couldn't see anything in the room but a lantern that glowed red.
François walked over to the lantern and opened it up. Three very large fireflies buzzed out of it and hovered in front of us.
“Cool,” said Ben. “I've never seen a red firefly before.”
He stepped up to touch one.
“I wouldn't do that if I were you,” said François.
Before Ben could ask why, one of the fireflies exploded in a blast of lightâ
POP!
âand a crazed-looking old man appeared in front of us.
“Take that long again, François,” said the old man, “and I'll break through the lantern.”
“Yeah,” two buzzy little voices added.
“Talking fireflies?” asked Gordon.
“Adzes!” said Grigore.
“What?” I asked.
Before Grigore could answer, the crazy old firefly man opened his mouth with a snarl. “Ooooh, François, have you brought us a treat?”
The firefly man licked his very crooked but very fangy teeth. He looked deep into Nabila's eyes.
“I'm a tasty, tasty treat!” yelled Nabila. Her arms flapped wildly, and she stumbled toward the old man. He opened his mouth wider.
“Enough!” yelled Director Z. He stepped in front of the old man.
As soon as the old man's gaze was blocked from Nabila, she dropped like a sack of potatoes.
“I told you, don't you dare try to give any orders around here,” said François.
“You told Chris that,” said Director Z. “You didn't tell me. And even though this isn't my retirement home, you have to respect me.”
POP! POP!
The two other fireflies flashed into crazy old humans. There was another man and a woman. They rushed over to Nabila.
“Did someone say something about a treat?” both of them said at the same time.
“I think it's best if you find a meal in the cafeteria,” said François, and he led the three away from Nabila and out into the main room.
They turned as he shuffled them out, trying desperately to look into our eyes.
“Look away,” said Director Z.
“What did you say they were?” I asked Grigore.
“Adzes,” he replied. “Vampires from West Africa that assume the form of fireflies. When they're captured and brought into a house by a victim, they have the ability to turn into humans.”
“And possess you,” said Director Z, helping Nabila off the floor. She was awake but groggy.
“Are you okay?” Ben asked.
“I think so,” said Nabila. “My head hurts a little.”
“Wow, we're really seeing a different side of monsterdom,” said Shane. “Ancient monsters, new types of vampires, burly talking bats. Everything feels so new, just like when we started at Raven Hill Retirement Home.”
“Ah, those were the days,” said Pietro.
“So not all Earth monsters are like this?” asked Twenty-Three.
“No,” said Director Z. “But something doesn't feel right. I don't think they're supposed to be like this. Those adzes were as old as Grigore was a few months ago, but they're acting like teenagers, reckless and out of control. They're filled with a strange energy of some sort.”
“I guess that's why I was called,” I said.
“Friends!” yelled François from the doorway. “Come now, let's continue the tour!”
“Keep your guard up,” Director Z whispered. “I don't trust François. He goes from friendly to angry to friendly again in a flash, like he's hiding something that he doesn't know how to deal with. He's out of control.”
Director Z turned to the door. “We're coming!” he yelled.
“Most of our facilityâalong with the residentsâis deep underground,” said François. “However, there was one more thing I wanted to show you upstairs.”
We walked toward the back of the ruin, in the direction that the pterosaur had flown.
We passed a room with rock slabs laid out as tables. Around one table, the adzes hovered over something.
CRUNCH MUNCH MUNCH.
“That must be the cafeteria,” Ben said.
At the sound of Ben's voice, the adzes' heads popped up. With a smile, one looked at Nabila. “Hello, snackie!”
Nabila shuddered.
“Don't bother the residents as they eat,” said François. “Let's keep going.”
We passed other rooms in the narrow, cool hallway. There was nobody but us.
The end of the hallway led to another large room like the first we had encountered just past the entryway.
“Now we know how the pterosaur exited,” said Shane. “The back of the building is completely gone.”
A warm jungle breeze blew into the room. Vines crept in.
Ben craned his neck to look out at the jungle, which sloped up into a small hill. “I wish I could see another dinosaur,” he said.
Shane pointed up. “Perhaps you should look for a flyby,” Shane said. He turned to François. “I thought you said that you had something to show us upstairs.”
“There is one tower that remains,” said François.
We walked to the far side of the large, open room and came to a door set in the wall. François opened the door to reveal a spiral staircase.
“Up we go,” he said.
We slowly made our way up the spiral staircase. Open windows were chiseled into the stone, and no matter how high we got, still more green from the wild jungle outside crept in.
At the top of the tower was a small room that we could barely fit into.
“Did you bring us up here for the view?” asked Shane. “Because it's pretty awesome!”
“Do enjoy the view while you're here,” said François. “But there's also a bit of business we need to discuss.”
“Business?” I asked.
“You must bow down to the shrine of Tikoloshe and pledge your allegiance,” said François. He stepped aside to reveal a small statue of a gremlin or troll with a wide grin. The statue was surrounded by candles and burning incense sticks.
“That's one ugly statue,” whispered Shane.
A wind blew through the windows and made the candles flicker. The cloud of incense moved from the statue to Shane's face.
Shane coughed twice, sneezed, and then . . .
“Arrrrrgh,” Shane yelled. “My nose!”
Shane doubled over in pain. His knees hit the floor. He cupped his nose, which was as red as Rudolph's, and moaned.
“Shane!” I yelled, and moved forward to help my friend.
I lifted him up by his shoulders and swung his head back.
“Oh man!” I said. “Your nose is completely covered in zits!”
“I think they're in my nostrils!” he moaned. “It hurts so bad. Make it stop.”
I held Shane in my arms as he dealt with the pain.
“Move away from the shrine, worms,” growled François. “Everyone must pledge allegiance.”
SLAM!
The door at the top of the stairs closed.
The monsters growled. Grigore hissed. The monkey screeched.
“We bow down to no one,” said Roy. He stepped up to François.
François opened his wings wide. “If it wasn't for Tikoloshe, none of us would be here! And if you don't bow down, you won't remain here long.” François was about to strike when Director Z jumped in.
“Now I'm sure we'd all be happy to bow down to Tikoloshe,” said Director Z, “ifâ”
“Boss!” yelled Pietro.
“No way,” said Gordon.
Roy tried to rush François.
“Pietro, don't interrupt me,” said Director Z, holding Roy back. “I was saying, if we could know more about him. Who is he? Is he your Director? How has he helped you? What has he promised? Where is your old Director?”
“Only Tikoloshe can explain himself,” said François. “And he only explains himself when he wishes. For now, you must pledge allegiance or leave this place.”
“Chris can't leave this place,” Director Z said to the monsters gathered in the hot tower. “We must do it.”
François put down his wings, and Roy backed off.
“You first, big man,” François said to Roy. “Bow down and say, âI pledge my allegiance, my life, and my afterlife to Tikoloshe.'”
“Hey, you didn't say anything about pledging my afterlife,” said Roy.
“Director Z, we don't have to do this,” I said.
“We have no choice,” said Director Z. “We'll discuss terms with Tikoloshe when he arrives.”
Roy bowed down. “I pledgeâ”
“Lower,” said François.
Roy bowed lower. “Iâ”
“Lower,” said François.
“We're going to be here forever if you're going to be that picky,” Director Z said to François.
“I said lower,” growled François.
Roy bowed down as far as he could and then fell forward, bashing his head on the stone floor.
THUNKK!
“Ah-ha-ha!” laughed François as Roy struggled to get up. “That's perfect, just do it on your knees!”
“I pledge my allegiance, my life, and my afterlife to Tikoloshe,” said Roy. He pushed his body back up off the ground and hit his head on the corner of the shrine.
WHACK!
“Yowch!” yelled Roy.
The statue fell forward onto one of the candles.
“NO!” yelled François. He snatched up the statue and patted its smoking head with his wing-claw.
“It smells like burned bat fur,” said Gordon. “Whoof!”
“Hurry up, you idiots!” yelled François, slamming the statue back in place. “Pledge your allegiance and then let's get out of this tower before you ruin everything!”
Everyone took their turn as François rushed them through.
Director Z was the second-to-last to go. “I pledge my allegiance, myâ”
“Fine, fine, that'll cover it,” said François, waving his wing impatiently. “Next.”
I stepped up, and the statue winked at me. Its cheesy grin got even bigger.
“What's going on?” I asked.
“Hurry it up!” hissed François.
My mouth got dry, and I found it hard to speak. The statue of Tikoloshe was staring right into my eyes. They burned a little. The monkey on my shoulder let out a low growl.
I bowed down so I didn't have to look at him anymore. The monkey held on to my neck as I choked out the words:
“I pledge my allegiance, my life, and my afterlife to Tikoloshe.”