Zola Flash (The Zola Flash Series Book 1) (5 page)

“WHO IN THE GLUCOXI galaxy was that?” Pin screams at me.

“Why does it matter?” I scream back.

“Because I am your guardian!”

“Well, you were not being a guardian when you were at the table with all those giggling yellow-headed girls! When you let my family die before my very eyes!” Tears pour down my face. I hastily rub them away.

Pin seems unable to think of anything to say, and taking advantage of that, I scuttle off the floor and dart for the door. As if anticipating my move, Pin kicks out a leg and trips me. With his hands gripping my waist, he throws me on the bed, and hovering over me, pulls out two sets of old rusty anklets. He attaches them to my arms and then the bedpost.

“You are not allowed to leave this room, tonight,” Pin says, climbing off the bed. “Or see that boy, ever!”

I pulled against my restraints. “You cannot do this to me!”

“Yes, I can. I have authority over you.”

My eyes narrow and an unpleasant smile spreads across my face. “You’re just jealous. Why else would you care who I talk to?”

“Why would I be jealous?” he says, sneering. “I already have you drooling over me. For someone so bent on getting revenge on the Payohlini, you haven’t once tried to touch me.”

A hot blush rushes my cheeks at how right he is.

In heavy contrast to his harsh tone, Pin leans down and kisses me on the cheek, but jerks away again, with something like shock splattered across his face. “I will see you tonight, after my date with one of the
yellow-headed girls
.” He leaves the room.

I scream after his retreating back, kicking my legs and beating my head against the bedpost. I don’t care if my head hurts like hell when this tantrum is over. I’ve never been so upset and embarrassed, except for when I watched Rican kill my sister, though that was a different kind of hurt. Now, I just want to morph, rage after Pin, and pull that girl’s entire respiratory system out! I want bloodshed.

I want Pin!

Did I really just admit that?

I send out a blood curding screech. I want him!

My body begins to ache. It’s the same pain I felt when I turned back into myself on Victian. Like every bone in my body is shattering, and every muscle is being torn away from those bones. I toss and turn, wishing I could hold myself, and eyes widened, I watch as my uniform turns to shreds and white fur takes its place.

“No! I didn’t mean it!” I scream out.

Screaming doesn’t help any. I’ve scarcely completed the words, and I morph into a monster. I hate this. I wish I never figured anything out. I should have let Rican kill me when he had the chance.

Then I think about Pin. Maybe I can go see what’s so special about that girl.

I grab a long black cloak that covers my ears and tail and claws. At least I can stand on my hind legs, instead of all four like some kind of animal. Someone, at least, had been rooting for me when they cursed me.

I trot out the door and follow Pin’s scent. Though it is a challenge to determine Pin’s trail with all the toxic waste in this city, it takes me about ten miles south—to an abandoned white warehouse.

I squeeze myself through one of the broken windows and travel up several flight of stairs. There’s a light coming from a room at the top, and I crack the door open just enough to allow me to hear and see. The room within is lit with waxy sticks that have a similar smell to gushberries. Rose petals are scattered around the room.
How romantic
.

My gaze finally lands on Pin. And that
girl
.

He’s feeding her, while she talks about herself. Of course, she’s the self-absorbed type. I never would have guessed Pin would be amused by a girl as shallow as she.

With no warning, she leans in and starts kissing Pin. Little smooches here and there. He just sits there and lets her enjoy herself.

My snarl pushes out, louder than I intended, and Pin’s gaze shoots toward the door. As soon as his sights land on me, he pushes to his feet, but I spin and race back down the squeaky wooden stairs.

The ensuing creaks tell me that Pin follows, even before he shouts, “Zola, wait!”

I’m not interested in his words, though. He let her kiss him.

I rush to the window, though as I go to crawl through, my cloak gets caught on an old rusty nail. I try to pull it loose, but it unravels around the nail, and I shrug out of the fabric and force myself through the rest of the way.

Landing on the hard ground outside, I glance back at Pin.

His eyes are wide, and his mouth hangs open like he has something to say, but no words come out.

With disappointment heavy in my chest, I take off running through the darkest of night, hoping no one crosses my path and sees me.

ONCE AT THE HOME Pin established for us, I let my pent-up rage break free. I swipe my claws across anything they can reach, unheeding of the crashes of stone and glass as I tornado through the rooms. A flick of my tail sends the mirror spiraling in shards to the floor— I don’t want to look in a mirror and see a monster looking back at me. I want to be Zola, Zola Flash, not a stupid animal. Normal. Just normal.

Exhausted, I ball up on what’s left of the bed and pull the covers over me, where my tears finally spill out, uncontrollably.

My life, my world, the way things used to be flash through my mind. The fact that everything I know is a lie consumes me. Nobody, not one single person I knew back home, had told me about my life. Not one of them had warned me that I would turn into a hideous beast. No one told me I would lose everyone I care about, or be chased around the universe, trying to protect my life. No, I had to find out from the enemy. Can I really call Pin that, though? After all, he told me the truth when my own people didn’t.

No!
My parents are at fault. They did not protect me like they should have. They lied to me my entire life. And when my sister and I needed them, they went and got themselves killed.

Except, in the process of lying to me and getting themselves killed, they did care for me. Didn’t they? Yes, I tell myself. They loved me, and I can never question that.

I lie quietly for a while, though my body still hasn’t morphed back to its normal form. A sound similar to thunder interrupts my blankness, right before the twinge planted in the pit of my stomach returns with a fierceness that leaves me gasping.

As I cry out, Pin comes scampering through the door, soaking wet with what must be rain dripping from his hair. He dashes across the green and blue marble floor, as I roll off the bed, withering in pain. Bending low, he pulls me into his arms, but my cries and whimpers continue. I wish the agony would just stop.

“Zola, listen to me,” Pin says in an urgent but soft voice. “You have to let the pain claim you,”

“I can’t,” I sob.

“There is no
can’t
. You have to, unless you want to die. Do you want to die?!”

“No.”

“Then, do it!”

Concentrating, I let everything around me sink away, until everything darkens and the only thing I can hear is Pin’s soothing tones, guiding me through.

The next thing I notice, I am standing face to face with myself. Well, not myself-self, but a white fox-like animal on all four limbs. As if we are two different beings who need each other to be made whole.

Thinking about Pin’s words, I begin to walk forward. I reach for the fox, shaking, but it claws at me. I hear Pin telling me to let the pain take over. But what does that even mean? I look at the animal. It looks back, mimicking me. But what if this being
is
the pain? After all, the only time I feel pain is when I morph, and maybe letting her claw me is taking in the pain.

So, I just let this thing claw me?

When I open my eyes, I’m myself again. Zola Flash. I take in my surroundings, surprised by how things seem so much brighter— like awaking from a dream and finding myself in a better place. The colors of everything seem to sing to me.

Saving the best view for last, I glance up at Pin, and it is like I have never
seen
him before now. His aura sparkles like the Glucoxi galaxy, after a star shower in the midst of a dark winter.

Pin has both worry and relief in his eyes as he stares back at me, but before I can even try interpreting that, his eyes go blank. Empty. No emotion in them at all. He gets up and grabs a small, thick quilt off the bed, and tossing it over my shoulders, he pulls me into a hug.

I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his damp hair. “Pin,” I whisper in his ear, “you make me happy.”

I can’t read Pin’s face when I draw back, but I know it shows nothing good. He breaks away from me and leaves the room. How did such simple words ruin a perfect moment? Why did I speak those words?

With the quilt still tightly around me, I head from out the room after him, and as I enter the kitchen, I find him is pacing the floor, deep in thought. Like a student trying to solve a physics equation. Pausing, he glances toward where I stand in my shredded uniform, with the quilt wrapped around my exposed body.

“I’m—” I quiet the rest at the intensity in Pin’s green eyes.

Striding to me, Pin yanks the quilt from my shoulders. “Shhh,” is all he says before his lips are on mine.

I can’t believe this is happening right now. Am I dreaming? Is Pin really kissing me?

Yes, he is!

When I don’t kiss him back, he pulls away and peeks down at my face. “What’s wrong?”

“You’ve never kissed me before.” Of course he hasn’t, rationality argues—it’s only been two days. “I like it,” I tell him.

Pin pulls me close. One hand cups my face, while the other wraps around my waist. His next kiss is not soft and slow like the other, but hard and deep. There is so much passion in the kiss, it only makes me want Pin more.   

I move my hands to the first button of his shirt and undo it. With shaky hands and without breaking the kiss, I quickly undo the rest.

Pin picks me up and cradles me in his arms. The ease with which he takes me to the room and tucks me in bed, all without breaking the kiss, makes me believe Pin must be a guy with plenty of experience. Unlike me. I have no experience at all.

I break the kiss. “I’ve never done this before. You’ll tell me if I do something wrong? Won’t you?”

Pin’s eyes widen, as if what’s happening between us has suddenly registered. “No, because I am not going any further with you.” As if to prevent any argument, Pin covers my mouth with his hand. “You should sleep.”

I want to disregard his demand, but as exhaustion settles over me, I realize I have little fight left and sleep sounds like the best option.

“MOM, MOM!”

I scream but my mother is standing too far away. A solar flare is headed straight for her, while she stands as lifeless as the Victian Memorial, the lack of expression upon her face incongruous upon so lively a person.

“Why do you not speak to me, Mom?!”

Mom tilts her head upward, and as I follow her gaze, Rican emerges from the shadows toward me, holding Cleo in his arms.

I gasp. Why is my mother just standing there? Rican sets Cleo on the ground near me and, instead, takes me in his arms. I struggle against his grip but with each of my efforts, he tightens his hold.

Rican’s breaths heat my neck. “Your family belongs to me, Zola. And unless you surrender to the Payohlini, you’ll never have a decent night’s sleep.”

“You can’t hurt me anymore. My family is dead!” I squirm against him. “What more can you take from me?”

Rican says nothing more, and as a version of Pin appears, Rican releases his hold on me. I run to Pin. He smiles and cups my face, but when I reach up to kiss Pin, his head falls into my hands. Blood splatters me and my white hair. Behind me, I hear Rican laughing. No way is he going to get away with it again.

No way.

“Pin!”

I scream myself awake. Pin comes running into the room, carrying a cup of what looks like pea-ku, a dream-away serum from home. Pin gives me the drink and flops down in a very hairy green chair. The drink reminds me of my last day on Victian, a day I do not want to remember, and I set the cup on the small, glass end table.

Moving over to Pin, I find a seat in his lap. I lower my head to his shoulder and wrap my arms around his neck. Being so close to him brings instant relief, and the disturbing memories begin melting away.

“You were screaming,” Pin says, breaking the silence between us.

“It was dreadful. I reacted like a child.”

“You are a child.” He sighs. “Which brings me to something we need to talk about.”

“What?”

Pin runs his fingers through my tangled hair. He does not smile, nor look at me. I twist in his lap to face him. Wanting to erase the pain in his eyes, I pull the tie from his hair, letting the strands hangs free, and begin to kiss his neck. The skin there is warm, and his pulse quickens beneath my lips. For a few short, sweet seconds he seems to enjoy our contact, but as though a spell is broken, he suddenly shoves me to the floor.

Hurt and confusion run rampant within me as I glance up at him. What did I do wrong?  I climb to my feet and head into the kitchen, taking the serum with me.

Seconds later, Pin enters. He must see the confusion in me—must. “Are you okay?” he asks.

I arch my eyebrows at him.  Why does he even have to ask?  If okay is what he sees, he needs his eyes seriously checked.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now,” he says.

He’s right. I don’t.

“But we have to eventually talk, so say something.”

His face shows little emotion when I finally lift my gaze. He’s like a rock. “I’m fine, just a little confused. Last night . . . your actions made me think you wanted me . . .”

“I need to talk to you about last night.” Pin pauses—for too long, and my palms become sweaty and clammy. My heart races as I think through what he will possibly say. We shared a kissed last night. A passionate kiss. Does he want to talk about that? Does he feel weak around me too?

“It was a mistake,” he finally continues. “I never meant to implant in your head that I wanted you. You were upset and hurting, so I comforted you.”

Pin avoids my eyes as he says this. He said the kiss was a mistake, that last night was a mistake. How could a kiss like that be a mistake—did he not feel the love it held, as I did? 

“You’re lying! That was not a kiss of comfort. You were into it. I could tell.”

“Apparently, you cannot tell!” He clenches his fists at his sides. “I feel nothing for you! At least not like that. You’re a child. I am your Guardian, Zola. I have a job I must do. And I’m sorry, but it doesn’t include cuddling up next to you.”

Tears well up in my eyes. I don’t know what to do, or say. All I know is that I feel my heart breaking, and it is the worst feeling in the universe. Sucking in my bottom lip, I hold back the tears. Instead of showing how much his words have affected me, I throw my cup of pea-ku at his head.

He dodges the cup, and it hits the wall, where it shatters into fractures that fall to the floor.

I bolt from the kitchen and run to my room, lock myself away from the vindictive Payohlini that attacked rather than protected my heart. Anyone who can pretend as well as he did last night has to be from a cold, dark place. Lucky me, I’m stuck with the one person whose actually from a frozen, obscured planet.

I curl up into a ball on the floor. I have never cared before what people think of me. Why is Pin’s opinion different?  I could care for him if he let me. Yet, he rejects me.

Drying my eyes, I check the time, and my eyes widen. I am going to be late for my second day of school. I pull my hair into pigtails and dart past where Pin cleans pea-ku off the kitchen wall before he can see me.

As soon as I open the door, Trevor pulls me into a hug.