Zombie Fallout 2 (24 page)

Everyone had let their guard down somewhat. Maggie couldn’t stop fussing over the boys. She said they reminded her of her own boys. They had not heard from Larry or Jim since the start of it all. For moments she would get lost in her thoughts and grief and then come back around full circle beginning with wiping Tommy’s Kit-Kat swathed face. Travis squirmed from her ministrations. Torn between acting like the man he was rapidly and forcibly becoming and the boy who still looked to adults for all the answers and protection. Justin feigned sleep to be left alone. In my twisted brain I feared that it was the contact with goodness that so repelled him from her.

Denmark was a great storyteller and had the entire room enthralled in some story involving a canoe, a tree that ate people and a cat that saved the world. Between the length of the day, the heat from the stove and a now sated belly I found myself dozing off. I was startled awake to some raucous laughter, something about the cat falling out of the canoe and into the water. I stumbled out of the room. I had the uncomfortable feeling that my liver was beginning to cook from the inside out. This must be what that poodle felt like when its master tried to dry him off in the microwave. I opened the door and the bracing cold in my face as well as the fire behind the sensation was invigorating.

“What’d you grow up in a barn.” Came Denmark’s voice.

I had heard the rebuke from my mother enough to know he wanted me to either go in or out and shut the door in either case. My intention was to continue on out and pull in some cold fresh air into my lungs in hopes to store it against the stove's blistering heat.

“Michael?” Denmark asked when I didn’t move.

Tracy turned to look due to Denmark’s tone. I was a man frozen but not by cold. “Talbot?” No response.

I turned. “Boys.” And that was all it took, Brendon and Travis grabbed their gear and followed me out onto the balcony. It was the smell. I couldn’t see a damn thing below me. It was a new moon and even if that wasn’t the case the thick cloud cover still would have blanketed any potential light. Between the smell and the shuffling, we once again found ourselves in the midst of the enemy. It didn’t quite smell or feel like the mother lode but we wouldn’t be able to tell until the morning.

I felt terrible. I knew without a shadow of a doubt we were the reason they were here. I don’t know how I knew it but I did. BT was busy moving some of the ammo cans into place. Jen was loading and then checking her loaded weapon over and over again like a looped tape.

Tommy stood next to me. I was going to have to ask him how he kept doing that. “He’s coming Mr. T.” He might as well have sliced through the thin skin up my spine. Cutting through the small layer of connective tissues and nerves and then pulled the bloody pieces apart to drop ice into the wound. I managed to not convulse at his words but not by much. Tommy hugged me tight although I didn’t relish the attention. The last time Tommy hugged something this fiercely was when Bear had sacrificed himself for us. The ice on my spine turned to salt, my throat constricted. “I’m sorry Mr. T.” Tommy wailed.

I wanted to assure him everything was going to be alright, but all that kept going through my head was, ‘Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.’ You get the point. I was collecting my thoughts, when Jen asked me where she should set up.

“Uh.” My mind was addled. “Uh maybe take Tommy back into the room and get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day and nothing’s going to happen tonight.” ‘Unless I die’ I wanted to add.

“Tommy’s still in the room.” Jen answered.

“Wha..” I turned to look. Tommy was still seated in the far corner of the room. Maggie was busy wiping chocolate off his face.

He peered up and over her shoulder when he felt I was looking at him, his expression told me the encounter had been real. ‘Oh fuck.’

I told myself over and over again that long night, that I was still alive. But who was kidding who. I was a dead man walking. Had Tommy cursed me with a self-fulfilling prophecy? Would I now seek out death? Or had he blessed me with the opportunity to tell the ones I loved how I felt? Now remember I am a former Marine raised by a former Marine, marching into death was my business. Telling people I loved how I felt about them scared the shit out of me.

“What do you want Talbot? Can’t you see I’m busy?” BT was busy stacking ammo cans of varying calibers all around the top balcony of the motel. The Battle of Motel 6 might not become nearly as famous as the Alamo, but I would bet we would fire as many shots.

“I just wanted to tell you BT, thank you for saving my life back there in Bennett.”

Without looking back at me as he placed another 50 pound can down. “Didn’t so much do it for you as I did it for myself.” Now he stopped to look at me to find out my reaction. “I told you before Talbot, you have this uncanny knack for getting out of jams and I want to be there when you do.”

“No, no take a break for a sec and walk with me.” We walked to the far end of the building, the air seemed marginally cleaner here. “Listen, if something were to happen to me, you need to remember who your first allegiance is to.”

“Is this about Bennett, Mike? I got the message loud and clear.”

“Yes and no Brendon. There is no one that is going to protect our backs but ourselves. Our first duty is to our family, I just need to know that you’re willing to make that step no matter how much it pains you. That you will forego all others for the penultimate safety of Nicole and the rest of the family.”

“Mike you’re talking crazy. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure Nicole is safe, and the rest of the family.”

“That’s all I needed to know. No matter what happens tomorrow I just wanted to tell you that’s it has been an honor fighting next to you. I knew men with twice the training that only fought half as well as you.” I couldn’t be sure but I just about felt his chest swelling with pride.

I was half way back down the walkway when he said his ‘Thank You’ followed by ‘That was weird.’

I went back into Denmark’s room. The only occupants were Justin and Henry. Justin was parked a mere foot and a half away from the stove. If I hadn’t known better, I thought he might be trying to burn something out of himself. Shit maybe he was. I could see him shivering as I approached.

“He’s close, dad.”

“Who’s close son?” I asked him

Justin looked up with me, his tortured eyes said it all. “Eliza said she has a surprise for you. She says that you left somebody behind at Little Turtle that’s she has found to be very, very useful.”

My throat closed, not because of the forewarning omen, but because of the grip this evil, oily presence had on my son. I kept flashing back to him as a wide-eyed kid who loved to fish. He had even gone so far as to fill our bathtub up once and put all our expensive fish in it. Fury had pumped through my veins when I came across the small splashes of water that led to the bathroom. The accumulation of those fish had cost me over a thousand dollars. The door nearly came off its hinges when I barged through. Justin smiled up at me his two front teeth missing, ‘Catch and release Dad. Catch and release.’ Like a super soaker to a match, the anger melted into laughter. I lost a few fish to the stress of the endeavor but that seemed like a small price to pay for the parental wisdom I gained. We went camping the next weekend next to a stream. Didn’t catch anything, best time ever.

“How you doing son?” I asked. We both knew what I meant, wasn’t really a secret between us.

“Slippin’ Dad. When I think about it, I can hold it off, but when I’m tired or sleeping or even in a bad mood she starts to needle in my head.”

“You need to fight it with everything that you are, Justin. I wish I knew what you were fighting. It’s a lot easier to take out an enemy that you can see. Justin I need to know if you’re a danger to them.”

“Dad, we both know the answer to that. Sometimes I think it would be so much better if you just left me on the side of the road. But I’m so scared. She said she would exact her revenge personally if I left you.”

“Can Tommy help?”

He shook his head in the negative. “Tommy figured out some way to get around her influence but he holds no sway over me. Every time I get within ten feet of him it’s like someone is rabbit punching me in the kidneys. I think he feels the same way. I’ve seen him try and hide his grimaces.”

I had no answer. Cialis couldn’t cure this impotence. I couldn’t track down a doctor in the world that would know what to do. Shaman maybe? I’m sure I could find a tribe of Black Feet around here somewhere.

“Dad I’ll do what’s right if it comes to that.”

I couldn’t catch my breath. I wouldn’t even acknowledge what he had implied. I told him I loved him as I stumbled out of the room. I nearly did a header over the railing before Tracy grabbed my arm. She had been watching my encounter with Justin. I knew that she had been keeping a close eye on us since my accusation.

I looked at her with as little facial expression as I could pull off. My muscles rippled underneath trying in vain to display the stark terror that bristled through them.

When Tracy felt I was no longer in danger of toppling over the railing she headed into the room to see if I had upset Justin. Didn’t that beat all. Travis was next on my list, only because he was closest. “Hey Trav.” I started off innocently enough.

His eyes glistened in what murky light was available to us. Most would have thought it tears of fear. It wasn’t. I’d seen it before in Iraq it was bloodlust. We had hours to go before we started the dance of death and Travis was burning through adrenaline like a funny car through ethanol. “What’s up dad?” He asked, his stare never coming off the unseen enemy below us.

“You know I love you right?”

He nearly tore his gaze away to see what my major malfunction was but even my seeming traverse into feminity couldn’t pull him away from the projected task at hand. “Dad.” He fairly squirmed as he said it. It was good to see that under that steely-eyed mask was the kid who I had been tossing the football around with recently.

“I just want you to know son, no matter what happens, it’s…look at me.” He turned. “It’s important to remember it’s not about the killing.” By the stare in his eyes I could tell that he was not grasping the meaning of my words. “Trav it’s not about the killing, it’s about the living. We kill so that we may live.”

“Dad that’s what I’m doing.” He said in that perfect teenage tone, that implies he is master of all he surveys. “That’s what we’re all doing.”

“It’s a fine line we walk son. I take absolutely no joy in these kills.” He gaze dipped. “As soon as we take enjoyment in the killing of others no matter what the state of them we have already lost.”

“Lost what, dad?”

“Our humanity. We fight and we kill to protect ourselves and those we love because there is no stronger bond than family. When all else goes to shit, we are all that we have to rely on.”

“Like it has?”

“Like it has.” I agreed. “We’re it. We are our last line of defense. I would die a thousand deaths before I so much as thought one of you might get hurt. That is a heavy burden to carry. Someday when you have a family of your own it will be your burden to carry. We kill these monsters because we have too, not because we want to. It’s a fine distinction Travis and I just don’t want you to get lost along the way.” I tousled his hair (which pissed him off) told him I loved him and walked away before he saw the glistening in my eyes that had more to do with my inner feelings. Like any teenager, I figure he grasped about 10% of what I was shooting for. It would be many long years (which I earnestly hoped he had) of deep reflection of this day. He would come to his own conclusion. I either made my point or I did not. With my death it would be something he would dwell on constantly. If my death kept him from losing himself in the battle then it would be worth it.

I had just finished masking the majority of my leaky duct works when I came across Nicole, she was hovering close to Brendon without making it look too obvious that was what she was doing. “Hey sweetie. How’s my favorite daughter?” It was an old joke between us.

“Hey dad.” Her smile put a glimmer of light in my blackened heart. Nicole was as intuitive as they come and saw no real reason to mince words. “Dad, I’ve seen you making your rounds, what gives?”

“Just giving the pre-battle pep talk.” I lied badly. She didn’t buy it.