“What’s up?” Raph asks. He pauses the game and gives me his full attention. With everyone watching and waiting, I go for it.
“Well, I … wanted to tell you all that … um … well, I’ve started my training to be a spirit walker. It’s official; I have an Ascended Master.”
They react just as I’d hoped, with wild cries of joy. Then they jump to their feet
and pull me into hugs.
“I’m so happy for you!” Katarina says, her bright blue eyes glowing with pride. “I know you’ll be a wonderful spirit walker!” She hugs me twice before stepping aside. There is a line, and I feel like a bride who’s taken the big plunge and will embark on her whirlwind honeymoon at any moment.
I wish Michael were here!
While I hug Gabe, Uriel, Milvi, and Aunt Sasha, I wonder if I should’ve waited for Michael.
Could
I have waited? Dimitri and Uncle Pavvo hug me tightly with hardy pats on the back. Then Raph steps up. He is smiling from ear to ear. He takes my hands and squeezes.
“Pretty cool, I gotta say. I guess all that worrying was for nothing.” He hugs me and whispers, “You’re gonna do great, Sophia. Welcome to our
spiritual
family.”
“What the hell’s going on here?” Michael’s sharp voice cuts through the chatter and everyone stops. Raph and I spring apart. Michael has appeared without warning, so the second heartbeat starts a moment too late.
“Did you hear the great news?” Milvi asks. She presents me like I’m a new appliance to be won on a game show. “
Sophia
has begun her training! She has an Ascended Master!”
Everyone is elated all over again. Michael has gone pale and still, staring at me. He is the lump of coal in my stocking, and I feel guilty. I should’ve controlled my impulsiveness; I should’ve told him first, in private, so he could manage his emotions in front of his family. They shouldn’t be wondering why he is against me becoming a spirit walker. It’s supposed to be a great thing, a gift or a calling to the spirit world that few would refuse. They wouldn’t understand why Michael doesn’t want me involved;
I
don’t understand why.
Michael inhales and lowers his eyes. He is deadening his feelings with great effort. I chew my lip and wait anxiously for him to look at me again. My heart aches for him to be happy for me.
Please, Michael. You know how much I’ve wanted this. Please, please be happy for me
.
“Let’s have a toast!” Katarina declares, raising her tea. Cups are in the air, and one is shoved into Michael’s stiff hand. He moves away and stands with his back to the fireplace. His face is thrown into shadows but his aquamarine eyes glow with an eerie light. Michael doesn’t lift his cup.
“To the newest member of our spiritual family!” Katarina calls out. “Sophia St. James! She is welcomed with open hearts!” There is a round of “Here! Here!” and then
everyone clinks and drinks. The chatter escalates as I peer over my teacup; Michael’s eyes are blazing into mine.
He says, “Who is your Ascended Master?” and I say “Rama Kuan,” and then he flinches and yells, “Are you kidding me?”
The celebration stops. Everyone is staring with open mouths. It’s too soon to determine if the family is stunned that Michael yelled or shocked by
what
he yelled. Personally, I would love to yell back but he has me worried. Michael’s face is turning red with rage. He shoves his cup at Uriel, who fumbles to take it, and then marches to Dimitri.
“Rama Kuan!” Michael shouts in his father’s face. He points at me like it’s my fault. “Did you hear what she said? Her Ascended Master is Rama Kuan! That half-wit, lazy, good-for-nothing beach bum who—”
“Hey, wait a minute,” I jump in. “Don’t talk about Rama like that. He may be laid back but he’s not a half-wit.”
Please don’t let him be a half-wit
.
“Michael, please,” Katarina says. “He is an Ascended Master, after all.”
“I don’t care if he’s an archangel. He’s not good enough to train her. She … she shouldn’t even be …” He looks around, stricken. “You all think it’s safe for her? Out there, in the spirit world? Fighting for lost souls? To be trained by Rama Kuan? He thinks George Lucas is a prophet, for God’s sake!”
The room falls silent, and we stand around waiting for someone to contradict Michael. Sadly for me, no one does, and I start to worry. Michael is beyond reproach and storms out of the room. Seconds later, we hear his bedroom door slam on the second floor above us.
Katarina apologizes for Michael’s behavior, and Dimitri tries to put my mind at ease. “Sophia, if Rama Kuan was unqualified, he would have been removed from his position. And Michael knows that. He’s just become particularly tense since his own trials have started. Perhaps a bit overprotective, which is usually an added benefit for a guardian.” He smiles affectionately, and I nod with a different understanding. I suspect Michael is really mad at the situation and taking it out on poor Rama Kuan. Personally, I don’t care if my Ascended Master is a half-wit. He’s
my
half-wit, and my only hope of becoming a spirit walker.
The mood is shattered, and I need time to think. I thank the family for the dessert and warm wishes, and then head to the foyer to fetch my coat. I’m nearly out the door when Raph and Milvi catch me. They’re tugging along a very reluctant Gabe. Usually, Gabe keeps to himself and his books, so his face is pinched with annoyance.
“Gabe, here, has an idea,” Raph says, nudging his brother to speak.
“I didn’t say it was a good idea,” Gabe complains. “I said it was an option, if someone cared to bend the rules.”
“Oh, don’t be so pedantic,” Milvi whispers. “It’s perfectly fine to do.”
“Then why are you whispering?” Gabe retorts.
Milvi rolls her eyes and turns her back on him. “Look,” she says to me. “Gabe thinks you could use some real tutoring with your training.” I don’t like the way she says “
real
tutoring,” like she knows about me and Michael, but I keep quiet.
“It’s like this.” Raph pulls us deeper into the alcove and whispers. “Rama Kuan is kinda lax in the self-defense area. It’s probably why Michael got so pissed. We all care about you, and safety is a big issue for spirit walkers. I’m sure you understand how dangerous it is? Rama Kuan explained all that, right?”
Uh, no, but Michael has. Repeatedly. At the top of his lungs
.
“Actually, we haven’t gotten that far yet,” I say with a sinking feeling. They look worried. “Should I have been told?”
“First thing out the gate,” Gabe says, sighing heavily. “He was supposed to explain the process and give you a choice. It’s a little thing we like to call
free will
. You may have heard of it?” He is quite the sarcastic little shit all of a sudden.
“He only told me about the three trials I have to master to achieve enlightenment. Besides, I would’ve accepted anyway.”
“Atta girl,” Milvi says, and I feel better. Gabe clears his throat for attention.
“Even so, you must understand what you’re getting involved in. As your process continues and you pass through one level and into another, your Chelsea Light will take shape in your hand.” He gathers my hands in his, and we peer into my palms. “Nothing so far, but it’s too early. Anyway, as the light grows within you, it will manifest in one of your palms. When you have reached definitive enlightenment, it will be rather like a beacon, meaning lost souls within the area will be drawn to it. As will demons, reapers, soul seekers, and any other vile creature from below. They’ll want your light.”
I withdraw my hands and curl them into fists. “I won’t give it to them,” I say, but they don’t look convinced.
“They won’t be asking politely, Sophia,” Raph says. “They’ll take it. The first chance they get.”
“Take it how?”
“They’ll fight for it,” Milvi states matter-of-fact. “If they can’t bargain it away from you, or lure you into a trap, they’re likely to chop off your hand to get it.”
Okay, nobody told me that little tidbit
.
“That’s where we come in,” Raph says. He rubs his hands together, ready to spill the beans. “We have an idea but you have to keep it secret. No telling the ’rents. Anyway, we have some good friends who just happen to be demon hunters.” He glances down the hall to ensure no one is coming. “Now, if we put out the call and explain the situation, I’m sure they’ll agree to come hang with us for a while.”
“And by ‘hang with us’ you mean teach me some fighting skills?”
“Kick-ass fighting skills,” Raph says, and my face lights up.
Now we’re talkin’!
“Okay, when?”
They confer, toss around a few names, and nix a few others. Eventually, they settle on something, and then Milvi hurries into the living room and returns with a picture frame. It looks like a vacation photo, the entire Patronus family plus several others I don’t know. Maybe somewhere in Europe during the winter?
Estonia, Milvi tells me, and three of their friends in the photo are demon hunters.
I peer closer. They look awfully young but what do I know.
“How old are they?” I ask, and Milvi says, “Mid-twenties, but don’t let that worry you. They’re legit.”
I tell them I won’t worry. After all, they can’t be worse than Rama Kuan. Raph says not to misunderstand my Ascended Master; he is qualified to train me. He just likes to focus more on the spiritual side of things. Besides, it never hurts to train with professionals.
“We’ll only need two hunters,” Raph continues. “So I’ll contact Kanati, and Milvi will contact Chang`e. I’ll let you know when we hear from them. We’ll probably have to train at the barn.” He looks at the others for confirmation and they nod.
“But why don’t you want your parents to know? How could this be breaking any rules?”
“It’s not our place to interfere,” Gabe says. “It’s a bit unusual for guardians to be so closely involved with an individual human. Other than maintaining our daily lives here, of course. But your unique connection to Michael, that peculiar second heartbeat, has intertwined you into our family. Incidentally, I’ve been doing some research on the subject of your second heartbeat.”
Oh, I don’t think I like this
.
“Really? What’d you find out?” I say without a care in the world. I want them to think I hardly notice it anymore, that it doesn’t give me the slightest bit of comfort or make me feel whole when it’s beating softly beneath my breast.
I avert my eyes so he can’t read me, and Gabe says, “Well, nothing really. So
far.”
Yippee!
“Oh, bummer. So, about these demon hunters … we have to keep my training a secret? Well, I don’t know. I wouldn’t feel right about keeping things from your parents.”
Ahem, and now I’ll be performing Act II, “The Innocent Expression of a Well-Mannered Preacher’s Kid.”
“You let us worry about that,” Raph says. “It’s more important that you get the training you need.” He smiles and I nod. I like the way he thinks.
They tell me Rama Kuan probably won’t care if I’m trained by demon hunters, as long as it doesn’t interfere with his sessions. I agree to fill him in.
I thank them for their help and say good night, but Raph walks me onto the porch anyway. I have a feeling he wants to say something but is hesitant.
“Well, thanks again for helping,” I say, hedging toward the steps. He wraps his arms around me, hugging me tighter than necessary. I stand there stiffly and eventually pat him on the back. He smells nice, a mix of cologne and rainwater. It’s chilly out and I shiver.
He strokes my back and whispers, “I just don’t … you’ve become very special to the family, and we just don’t want anything to happen to you.” I nod, feeling very much like an awkward burrito. Raph eventually unwraps himself and looks down at me. I avert my eyes in habit but he guides my chin up to look him in the eyes. I steel myself as he assesses me.
Think of something funny, stupid. Quickly
.
I think of Dad dancing in the kitchen. Raph’s eyes narrow in their inspection. Then I break out laughing and punch him playfully in the arm. Just two buddies horsing around.
“I’m holding you to those kick-ass fighting skills. Maybe I’ll even learn to kick
your
ass.”
Raph laughs. “Game on, spirit walker.”
I take my out and rush down the steps to the jeep. Raph’s odd behavior takes a backseat because all the way home I beg the higher-ups to have Michael waiting in my room. He must be there; why else would he walk out and not return so we could talk about this?
* * *
Michael isn’t waiting in my room, and I don’t see him at school the next day. I’m sick
with worry. I wonder at what point Michael and I stepped aboard the relationship roller coaster; for weeks now we’ve had great highs and nauseating lows. It’s wrecking havoc on my stomach, not to mention my concentration skills.
Rama Kuan is having a fit trying to harness my attention and help me reach a new level of awareness. We’ve been training for two solid hours and I’ve gotten nowhere.
I finally give up and flop back onto the floor, unraveling from the lotus position. “Well, this gives a new meaning to diddly-squat. I got nothing. Nada. Bubkes.” I stretch my aching knees, and then look over and see Rama scowling through his dreadlocks.
“You come in like a
hodad
, a wannabe. All goofy foot and off balance. Can’t take the ride like that.”
I sigh and stare at the ceiling. He’s right. I didn’t put my best foot forward because my mind has been split, worrying about Michael and calculating the time required to finish reading the biography of Dostoyevsky. Plus, I have to PowerPoint my fake stock account and illustrate the inflammatory tissues of a dead body.
Ah, the joys of youth
.
“Dude, you gotta show up. Attend your own party. You’re so busy
doin’
, you forgot to show up.”
“Right here.”
“Naw, dude, in the righteous sense. You gotta find your oneness. You went straight to it the first time. I’ve never seen such powerful insight in a grimmie before. But now? Dude, I don’t know. Where’d you go this time?”
To Michael. I went straight to Michael and filled myself like a bucket of extra crispy anxiety
.