02 Unforgivable - Untouchable (8 page)

“
Doctor Kannova, I do have a question,” I asked, stopping her before she could go out the door. I knew this question was the crux of Micah’s fears about today. “My fiancé seems to think an exam isn’t possible since I’m a virgin. I honestly think he’s worried I won’t be one after the exam, but he won’t tell me that.”

She smiled broadly, “Leese, you have a period every month; it flows out of your body. There will be an opening, however small for me to complete the exam. I’m not doing a pap smear or anything like that so you don’t need to worry. Most young women by the time they reach your age actually don’t have a hymen left to prevent intercourse, but I’m very careful and I promise you I’m not going to ruin anything for either one of you. You’ll be fine.”

I was comfortable, up until the point where I was sitting on that stupid exam table with the even stupider paper gown that didn’t want to stay shut. Now I was having serious regrets about my ‘I’ve got to learn all about birth control,’ moment.

She returned to the room with a nurse, “Okay, we’re going to start with a breast exam. Lean back on the table for me. Do you do a regular check for lumps or irregularities in your breasts?”

“
No, but I know it’s something I need to learn.”

She opened the gown but stopped immediately when she saw the scar on my chest, “You’ve had a recent injury?”

“
It’s a—a gunshot wound,” I said quickly.

“
I wondered if you were the young woman that had been on the news. I know your mother, but I wasn’t sure if you were the person all the stories were about.”

“
That would be me,” I sighed, wondering if she would recognize Micah’s name from the news as well. But she went right back to being professional and no more was mentioned.

We went through the exam and she explained how to start at the nipple and work my way out in a small circular pattern to feel for problems. She discussed selecting a time each month for making this a routine for the rest of my life. That wasn’t so bad. Maybe this exam business wasn’t so tough after all. But, then she went to the other end of the table.

Doctor Kannova smiled as she asked me to relax. The stirrups came out and she placed my heels in them. I couldn’t help being nervous by this point.

“
You’ll have to part your legs, Leese,” she stated as her chilly gloved hands touched the outside cheeks on my buttocks, “and I’ll need you to scoot down toward me.”

Suddenly I had a feeling that a gynecological exam before my wedding night wasn’t the best of ideas. Although I was unwilling, I obeyed her request and tried to relax.

Her fingers were probing gently at first and then firmly.

“
That’s uncomfortable,” I managed to say, through my clinched teeth.

“
Leese, have you ever tried to do any sexual exploration on your—”

“
No,” I cut her off.

“
I’m going to try to take a measurement on something; it may be uncomfortable.”

“
It’s already uncomfortable, Doc.”

“
I know, but I need you to lie very still.”

Within a few moments she was asking her nurse to bring in her sonogram machine. “I don’t know if I can get a shot of this, but it’s worth looking at.”

I was wondering what she could possibly be discussing. What was so unusual that she needed an internal picture? Now I was going beyond nervous. Was something wrong with me?

It seemed she worked for the longest time trying to get the sonogram angled where she could see whatever it was she was looking at. By this time I was ready to cry. I wanted my wedding night to be perfect; now I was concerned that my body might harbor some type of defect.

“
You can sit up now,” she said after wiping the gel from my body. “Go ahead and get dressed and I’ll meet you and Micah in my office.”

“
Doctor Kannova, you’re scaring me and if this is something bad, I’d rather—”

“
No, it’s nothing bad. It’s just going to make your wedding night a little more painful for you and pleasurable for him.”

Okay, there was good and bad in that. I liked the idea of pleasing Micah in every way, but why would there be additional pain for me? Aren’t all women the same? I wondered.

When I managed to get dressed and had walked down to her office, Micah was already seated and looking about as comfortable as I was on the exam table. Doctor Kannova wasn’t in the room yet, so I whispered to him, “I’m sorry I made you go through this—I didn’t know it was going to be so—”

The office door opened and I immediately straightened in my chair. It was an odd feeling, like getting called into the principal’s office when you honestly didn’t know what you’d done wrong. At least she was smiling.

“
Hello, you must be Micah,” Doctor Kannova said shaking his hand before seating herself behind the desk. “It’s good to meet you.”

Micah smiled, but remained silent.

“
Leese tells me she’d like to try the rhythm method of birth control, but since you are the other half of this union, I have to ask if you’re okay with that, too.”

“
I—I don’t know what the rhythm method is,” he stated uncomfortably.

“
There are roughly seven days that a woman who has a regular cycle isn’t fertile. During this time period unprotected sex is not likely to end in a pregnancy,” she began.

Micah nodded as if that made sense to him.

“
But,” the good doctor continued, “it’s far from perfect. Leese expressed to me in the exam room that she doesn’t want to try the pill, patch or injection; she wants to keep this as natural as possible.”

Micah nodded, “I can understand; I feel the same way.”

“
Good, because from using your calendar, Leese,” she said turning to me, “your wedding falls perfectly in line with your seven days. I actually prefer to only trust this method for about four or five of those days, but that risk is up to you.”

“
How big is the risk?” Micah asked before I could get the identical question out of my mouth.

“
You’ll be running about a ten to twenty percent chance that this first union will end in a pregnancy.”

We both swallowed audibly.

“
I could use a condom,” Micah interrupted, his face turning scarlet.

“
True and I’d normally prefer something like that in this situation, but after examining her, it might not be a viable solution.”

Micah’s eyebrows rose and an odd smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, “Why?”

Now I would finally learn what she found so odd about my anatomy.

“
You’re going to have to forgive me for broaching what I hope is a subject you two have already discussed, but Micah have you ever had sexual relations with a woman before?”

“
Yes,” he stated bluntly.

“
Ever with a virgin?”

“
Ah—no,” his face was getting red again.

“
Good, then I don’t have to tell you to forget whatever you learned with that person, because Leese is a little different from most women.”

We were both silent, but I was sure everyone in the quiet room could hear my heart slamming against my rib cage.

“
Leese, you have a very thick hymen; that’s the barrier that partially closes the entrance to the vagina. Usually it is a thin membrane that is, more often than not, broken by a woman herself either by exploration or sports; yours is not thin; it’s more than a half inch thick actually.”

“
What does that mean exactly,” Micah asked, curiosity written clearly on his face.

She looked at him and semi-smiled, “You’re going to think there is no entrance. She’s a bit like Fort Knox.”

“
But there is an entrance,” I said, a little shocked she was telling my future husband that I was similar to an impenetrable government facility.

“
Yes, but there is a little bit more. I realized when I was checking you that you have an additional barrier just beyond the hymen. We don’t often see it so I ordered the sonogram to make sure I was correct. This is why a condom may not be a viable choice,” she said turning to Micah. “You’re going to need to be forceful to get past the hymen and you may feel you’ve met a wall when you get to the next barrier, but I assure you, you can push through it; it’s just going to be uncomfortable for Leese, and it might be too much stress on a condom.”

We were back to being silent as her words were being ingested.

“
I could,” she spoke up, “surgically remove most of, or the entire, hymen.”

“
No!” we responded at the same moment, but I had a feeling for totally different reasons.

“
I recommend you take a little tension off an hour or so before you actually have sex,” she said, once again looking to Micah. “You under—”

“
Yes,” he said, red-faced again, but deeper this time.

“
I’d prefer to put you on a low-estrogen birth control pill now Leese, so—”

“
No—I told you my mother had all kinds of problems with the pill and I don’t want to risk it.”

“
I understand, but you’re made from more than just her gene pool; you might not have any problems.

“
Just the same, I’d rather our wedding night be as natural as possible.”

“
I do recommend you switch to condoms after the first few nights. Well,” she said standing up and reaching out to shake my hand, “Enjoy your wedding night and take your time. Sex will become more comfortable for you once you two are past the first night, but you are going to be sore.” Then she reached out and shook Micah’s hand. “You, Micah, are a very lucky man to get to experience this with her.”

He finally smiled, “I’m a lucky man even if this wasn’t her first time.”

Now it was my turn to be red-faced as it seemed the doctor was presenting me as some type of strange prize.

We didn’t speak to each other as we left. I handed him my keys and went for the passenger’s side.

“
You don’t want to drive?” he couldn’t mask his surprise.

“
No,” I whispered. I was still rolling everything she had said around and wondering if my first magical night with Micah was going to really be as difficult as the doctor predicted.

He backed out and headed away from the complex, “You’re pretty quiet. Are you afraid now?”

“
I just didn’t expect… I mean, I thought everything would be normal.”

He squeezed my hand and then brought it to his lips and kissed the back of it, “You’ll be fine, I’m sure it’s not going to be quite as difficult as she thinks.”

“
What if it is? What if I can’t take it?” Now I was getting emotional. I craved Micah with every fiber of my being, and I couldn’t imagine not being able to consummate a relationship with him.

“
Baby,” he said, using his deep sexy tone with me, “people get through this all the time. I’ll be gentle.” I could see the smile was working hard to turn the corners of his lips, though he was obviously attempting to resist it.

I managed a smile as I looked away, “Well, at least it sounds like you’re going to have a fantastic night.”

His smile could no longer stay down, “I won’t lie to you, baby, you’re right. It sounds like I’m getting the better end of the wedding night, but I’m going to do everything I can to make it perfect for you.”

I brought his hand against my cheek, absorbing the warmth after the doctor’s office left me feeling so cold.

He was gently stroking my cheek, but then had to pull away to shift gears. “I love you, Leese; if you tell me to stop, I will. We can come back and have the doctor make this easier for you.”

“
I can’t imagine stopping once we…” I felt a flush of heat fill me, opening the yearning I knew was made for him alone.

“
I can stop, if you tell me,” he was completely serious.

“
Yeah, but I don’t think I can,” I admitted.

He smiled as we pulled up to the traffic light. He leaned over and kissed me slowly.

“
I know I won’t want you to stop,” I whispered. “You’re right, we’ll be fine.”

Chapter 4

Six weeks were gone in a blur. Linda certainly earned her pay because every single day it seemed she and I were working together to make this wedding flawless. Early on Micah and I discussed the bridesmaids and groomsmen for the wedding. Although we both had plenty of people to choose from, Micah felt it would have been an odd blending of two worlds, Palm Beach socialites walking the aisles with mafia men wouldn’t work well. We finally settled on a rather untraditional arrangement. He asked David, to be his best man, and I asked my mother to be my maid of honor. I asked Giorgio if he would mind walking me down the aisle, but when the time came to join the families by the giving away of the bride, my mother would be the one to speak up and give me away. Kimmy would be the flower girl and Mom and David would hold the wedding rings until the moment of exchange.