02 Unforgivable - Untouchable (12 page)

“What else would I do in the shower?”

“No wonder it didn’t help you,” he whispered, kissing the tip of my nose. “You’ve never had an orgasm? Baby, I didn’t know you were
that
virgin.”

All I knew was that an orgasm was a sexual experience and something I thought was to be saved for tonight, “Don’t I need you for that?”

He smiled slowly, “No, but I’m certainly glad you’ve saved it for me.”

“But, how could I—”

“That’s why you stopped me. You were starting to feel it coming on weren’t you?”

“I don’t know what that was, but I was afraid I was getting ready to lose my grip on reality—because that wasn’t real.”

“Don’t be afraid, baby, I promise you, it’s real and you’ll like it,” he crooned.

“But I’ll lose control,” I started to tear up, that was the true reason why I had him stop; I realized something was getting ready to happen I couldn’t control.

“Baby, we’re both going to lose control tonight, but it’s okay because that’s all a part of making love. I’m going to take control of you and you are going to do the same to me.”

“I don’t know how,” I cried softly, a tear running down my cheek.

He wiped the tear away and smiled, “You do, whether you know it or not. You’ve got control of me right now and I’d do
anything
to please you.”

I nodded, “Then let me take your clothes off.”

He rose from the bed and I followed, slowly removing his shirt and kissing and caressing his fabulous body. I knelt in front of him as I undid his waistband.

His hands reach down and stopped me, “I don’t think I can handle you doing this part, Leese.”

“No. Please, Micah. No boundaries tonight, let me take them off you.”

I could tell he was fighting to retain his ability to be in charge of his desire so he wouldn’t do what he threatened that morning in the Hyatt. I knew he was ready to grab me and collide with me in the bed, but with tremendous effort he permitted me to remove his slacks. He closed his eyes and I could see his hands clinch as I began to lower his boxers to the floor, but as I did, I permitted myself the first opportunity to touch his body intimately and he snapped.

I didn’t even have time to react as my body was moved from kneeling on the floor to lying underneath him on the bed. My heart was pounding so hard it was painful, his teeth biting firmly but gently on my shoulder. He kept repeating “Baby, baby, oh baby,” as he pulled me against himself, parts of our bodies touching that I had never experienced. He kissed me hard, and then broke the kiss.

He must have seen the fear on my face as he began to calm, “I can’t hurt you, Leese. I’ve got to slow down.”

“Micah, I’m ready for you to hurt me,” I said with an unsteady voice, my hips rising to meet his and my calves keeping him from pulling away from me. “Don’t stop. I need you.”

He was still working on control as he lowered his body against mine.

The heat alone was enough for strange sensations to hit me. I felt his body push as my body resisted. I gasped for my breath.

He looked at me as a strange smile appeared on his face, “She’s right. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I need you to guide me, Leese. You’re going to have to show me where it feels right for you.”

I was truly frightened to touch him intimately again, the last time was explosive enough, but I could tell he was ready for the sensation of my hand this time. He moaned deeply as I placed him where my sensations seemed to culminate, where need, desire, and heat centered themselves.

“Now, baby?” he asked.

I nodded as he pushed again. I didn’t mean to sink my nails into his back, but I couldn’t help myself as my body resisted him.

He knew what would help me forget the pain, as his mouth descended on to mine and he kissed me with all the emotion he had the very first time our lips ever met, stealing away my ability to breathe. His hips thrust and the barrier gave way.

I gasped and cried out, a mingling of pain and pleasure enveloped me.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his body stopped all forward movement.

I was still catching my breath, a feeling mounting that was completely foreign to me and it frightened me to the core. It felt as if someone inside me that I never knew had been awakened and was about to take over.

He pressed again and once more my body was resisting. I knew there was more of him waiting to enter as he pressed again. I was losing my fear of what was about to happen and instead I was building to some invisible anticipation of what was taking place inside me.

“I can’t, Leese. I’m sorry, but it feels like I’m going to tear you in two.”

“No, please…ah…Micah, don’t stop,” I panted. “I need you, baby…ah.” The experience was beginning to overwhelm me.

He pressed harder and the barrier gave way.

I didn’t mean to get loud, but I couldn’t help myself as he moved rhythmically within me, shock waves of pleasure coursing through me. I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t stop what he had put into motion inside me as I rode over the top of the new sensation.

He cried out, and I suddenly realized he was joining me in this feeling as our bodies no longer had a separation where one ended and the other began.

He held me for the longest time as he slowed his breathing, kissing my temple, my cheek, the tip of my nose, my lips, and chin. “Baby,” he said, choked by emotion, “I’ve never… You are the most perfect thing I’ve ever known in my life and definitely worth the wait. I love you.”

He began to pull away when I finally found my voice, “Please, can we stay this way for a little while? I don’t want this to end just yet.”

“Baby,” he crooned in his velvety voice, “this is only the beginning; we’ve got a lifetime to enjoy each other.”

My nightmare flashed in my mind and I tried to tell myself there was no reason to worry anymore, we made it, “Please,” I begged.

He wrapped me in those steel bands and pulled me in tight, “Anything you want,
anything
.”

Eventually, we became drowsy and relaxed.

“Would you take a shower with me?” he whispered.

I was so comfortable, but the idea was appealing and had been appealing since he asked me that same question back when we were staying in the bungalow. I looked up and smiled from some place cuddled deep against his chest, “I’d like that.”

I sat up, feeling the soreness I hadn’t experienced until I started moving. Micah came up behind me as I leaned forward to compensate for the ache, but he realized what I was doing. He pressed his bare body to my back and reached around and allowed his hands to rub my abdominals gently.

“Does it hurt, baby?” he asked, placing a kiss on my shoulder.

I nodded, pressing my hands to his and holding pressure against the cramping feeling.

“Do you want me to carry you?”

“No, I’ll be fine,” I whispered.

“You go ahead and get into the shower then and let the hot water start relaxing you. I’ll join you in a minute.”

I wondered why, and then I turned to see him folding up and removing the stained comforter from the bed. The cramping was getting stronger so I followed orders, sitting on the shower ledge and letting the hot rain pour down on me. Within moments the fogged up door to the shower opened and he stepped in. I started to rise, but he told me to stay where I was.

“I want you to relax and let me do the work,” he said pouring shower gel into his hands.

What a unique feeling as his large hands slipped over my skin, soaping and massaging as they moved. I was actually feeling guilty to be relaxing and enjoying what he was doing without returning the pleasure, but he was insistent that I enjoy it and that was all. His hands worked lower, gently massaging and washing my lower abdominals and groin. I closed my eyes as he began to wash the more intimate areas. I was a little worried he might get soap in places that would be uncomfortable, but he was incredibly careful and slow as he worked. Eventually his hands slid down my thighs, calves and finished with my feet (which tickled, but there was no way I was going to laugh after such a sensual experience).

He lifted me from the ledge and placed me in his lap, leaning me forward as he began to lather my hair. He was literally removing every ounce of tension from my body as his finger tips massaged my scalp. He pulled the lever to divert the water out the waterfall ledge as he raised me to my feet and allowed the torrent of water to rinse me.

“You’ve got to let me do this to you,” I whispered through heavy eyelids. I was so relaxed under the rising steam I could have laid on the shower floor and slept soundly.

“You can’t even keep your eyes open,” he chuckled as he turned off the water and began to dry me off. “How are the cramps?”

“I’m relaxed, but they’re getting stronger.” I wondered how he knew I was cramping, but then I became aware of my body language as I tipped forward slightly with one forearm pressed above my bikini line.

“Then it’s off to bed and I’ll get you some Motrin.”

I nodded and attempted to step out of the shower, but as soon as the cooler air hit me, the cramps tightened. He picked me up and took me to the bed and placed me beneath the covers, tucking me in like a child. I drew my knees up against a pillow clutched to my stomach as the pain grew more intense. He was back with something to drink and three pills in his hand. As soon as I swallowed them, he blew out the candles leaving nothing but moonlight streaming into the room and crawled into the bed and placed his hot body against my back and wrapped me in his arms.

“Still bad?” he whispered thirty minutes later.

I nodded. The pain was like riding a wave, one minute it was rising and peaking and then I seemed to slide down to where I was almost comfortable and then it would build again.

“I should have been more careful,” he began to chastise himself.

I laced my fingers through his and brought his hand to my mouth and kissed it, “You were perfect and it was better than I ever imagined it could be. The doctor said I’d be sore, Micah; this isn’t your fault. Just keep me warm. I’ll be better in the morning.”

He kissed my bare shoulder and neck and then nuzzled into my hair, whispering how much he loved me and that was the last thing I remembered until sunrise opened my eyelids.

The cramps ended in the night and my sleep was dreamless and deep. Micah’s arm was still wrapped around me as I smiled at the memories from last night. I don’t know how, but he realized I was awake.

“Good morning, Mrs. Gavarreen,” he said, his hand splayed across my abdominals. Just one of his hands felt as if it could cover me, “feeling better?”

I rolled over and kissed him briefly, “Good enough to make love again to my husband,” I replied, then allowed the tip of my tongue to brush against his lips. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore as my hand slid under the covers to forbidden places. I could tell it was still difficult for him, but he was managing the sensation, “I want to kiss you,” I said barely loud enough for even myself to hear.

Immediately his mouth began seeking mine.

“Not your mouth,” I said, keeping my voice soft. “I want to kiss you like you did to me when you pulled my underwear off last night.”

His eyes filled with fright, “I’m not ready to handle you doing that, Leese. I’m still getting used to the touch of your hand. You do things to me, inside, that no one’s ever done and it’s incredibly intense.”

“Umm…I like that,” I answered, “but you will let me when you’re ready?”

He smiled.

I knew that was a yes.

“I want to show you something,” he said, smoothly rolling me back to my side and curling his bare form behind me. I was ready to be his eager student once more. He taught me how to shoot, how to kiss, and last night, how to make love, so I had no hesitation in allowing him control.

He propped himself against the headboard and pulled me onto him as if he had become a human lounger. His left arm and hand around mine and his right around my right, but as he brought my left hand up to my breast, I resisted slightly.

“Relax,” he whispered, “I just want to show you how to get off.”

“You showed me that last night,” I said with mirth in my voice, my hand slipping out of his grasp and sliding around his bare thigh.