03 The Fate Of The Muse - Marina's Tales (29 page)

“When your mom left?” I prodded gently.

I’d been trying to draw him out about it for
a while, but he always changed the subject, deftly sidestepping any
attempt I made to find out more. He always acted like it was no big
deal, but whenever I brought it up it was pretty clear that I was
treading on forbidden ground. I of all people could understand his
reluctance to talk about it, having a secretive side myself. Still,
it was frustrating, knowing that he was keeping a part of himself
hidden away from me. I couldn’t help but wonder what that part was
really like.

“Just whenever I wanted to be alone,” he said
lightly, looking around, “Now, I’d call it the happiest place on
earth.”

“I thought that was supposed to be
Disneyland,” I said, elbowing him gently.

He smiled at me affectionately, and got up to
kneel alongside me.

“Ethan?” I was confused, watching as he
reached in his pocket for a small box, presenting it to me.

“I love you,” he said, opening it, “Will you
marry me?”

I looked down to see a large diamond
sparkling as it caught the light. It looked to be well over a
carat, flanked on the band by two aquamarines flashing blue and
green. I was shocked speechless when I looked back up at his
earnest face.

I finally managed to sputter out, “What did
you do?”

I don’t think it was the reaction he was
expecting.

“I got you an engagement ring.”

“But… but… this must have cost a fortune,” I
gasped.

His eager eyes met mine, “Don’t you like it?
I had it made especially for you.”

I took a deep breath, “Ethan it’s beautiful…
but it’s too much…”

“I wanted you to have a nice one,” he
said.

“What were you thinking? You need to pay off
the land… And what about building your house?”

“Our house,” he said firmly, “And it can
wait.”

“What on earth made you think I needed
something so… so…” I stopped myself.

“I want everyone to know that I’m
serious…”

“Who’s everyone?” I asked, even though I was
pretty sure I knew who he meant.

“Evie doesn’t think you should be with me…
And when your dad comes back I want–”

“So you got it to impress Evie? And my
dad?”

“No!” he sounded hurt, and his face fell in
disappointment. I felt terrible.

“Ethan…”

“I want them to know I can take care of
you.”

“We can take care of each other.”

“I wanted you to have it when you told
them.”

“I already told Evie,” I said, “In
Paris.”

He looked surprised, “What did she say?”

I paused, not wanting to hurt him anymore,
“It doesn’t matter what Evie thinks. The only thing that matters is
me and you.”

He stumbled over his words, “What… what if
your dad feels the same way Evie does? I mean, it’s like, I… I want
them to know that I’ll do my best to be good enough for you…”

I took his hand and pulled him up to sit
beside me. I slipped my arm around his waist and rested my chin on
his shoulder, “You’re perfect for me, and my dad is not Evie. He’s
going to love you.”

He looked doubtful.

“Ethan, it’s just…” I groped for the words,
afraid to say anything else, knowing how touchy he could be when it
came to money. I’d already hurt his feelings. We sat there
awkwardly for a moment.

And suddenly I understood what had been going
on, “OH MY GOD! So this is why you’ve been working like a dog!”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I
did both. A massive wave of relief washed over me when I realized
that it wasn’t my muse powers that had been making him crazy, it
was his own insecurity. I suppose my situation was partly to blame
for that, but
this
was a problem I could fix by staying
around. I wasn’t going to have to leave him to save him from
himself. I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him
soundly.

“That’s more like it,” he gasped when we came
up for air.

“I thought…” I shook my head with relief,
wiping my eyes, “I thought you were working like a maniac all the
time because of me.”

He smiled wryly, “I kinda was.”

“You know what I mean…” My voice lowered to a
whisper, “You scared me so bad.”

“Why?” he asked, puzzled.

“Because if it was
me
making you that
way, if it was my fault– I couldn’t watch you going through the
rest of your life like that. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

He was disturbed, “What’s wrong with working
hard for what you want?”

I looked at him reproachfully, “You fell
asleep on me the other night.”

He chuckled, pulling me close and nuzzling my
ear, “I’m sorry. Did you have plans for me?”

I looked down, mortified. My face was
burning.

“Aww…” he teased me.

I stiffened up, unable to find any humor in
the situation. I felt like he’d rejected me all over again, and I
turned away from him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Why do you even
want
to marry me?” I
said angrily.

“Marina,” his tone was placating, and it
upset me even more. I stood up and faced him.

“Were you planning on marrying Amber
too?”

He stood up indignantly, looking down at me
with narrowed eyes, “How can you even say that?”

“I know you two were serious… I know you
were… well…
you know…
”

“Oh
really
,” he said sarcastically,
“What makes you think that?”

“I can just tell.”

I turned around, unable to look at him. I
knew I was acting like a jealous fool, but I couldn’t help it. I
heard him softly chuckling again, and I whirled around
furiously.

He was standing there with his arms crossed,
shaking his handsome head at me, “You’re wrong,” he said, “We never
even got that far.”

“And I’m supposed to believe
that
?” I
snapped, echoing his own words.

“For your information,” he said dryly, “She
was the first girl I really liked. I liked her a lot. A whole lot.
But her father didn’t want her to have anything to do with me. He
told her that my mother was a no-good whore, and that I was never
going to amount to anything–”

I gasped, shocked speechless.

He went on, “He made her swear not to get too
serious– he even made her wear a promise ring to remind her. I
didn’t care– I was willing to wait for her. I thought she was gonna
go against him, but it turned out she was just stringing me
along.”

I was frozen to the spot. “I’m sorry,” I
managed to whisper.

He smiled ruefully, “I’m not.”

He took my hand and led me back over to sit
down, sliding onto the rock alongside me and holding up the ring
box. “I got this for you because I love you and I want everyone to
know it… Will you at least try it on?”

I nodded yes, speechless once again.

He took the ring from the box, taking my hand
and slipping it onto my ring finger. It fit perfectly. He looked at
me anxiously, searching my eyes for approval.

I burst into tears, sobbing, “I love
you.”

He took my face in his hands, and this time
we kissed with a new intensity. I’d already signed the contract– it
was permanently etched onto my heart. Now there wasn’t the shadow
of a doubt in my mind. Overwhelmed, I laid my head on his chest,
emotionally spent. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top
of my head.

“Ethan… Promise me you’ll stop working all
the time.”

“I’ll try,” he said, “But you didn’t answer
me.”

I wiped my eyes again, “What?”

“I’ll only try… if you say yes.”

“I think I already did,” I said, going in for
another kiss.

CHAPTER TWENTYONE

REVELATION

I woke up in my cheery little room, a big
smile on my face. I raised my left hand and watched the engagement
ring scatter rainbow prisms of sunlight all around the aqua blue
walls. It was a beautiful thing, and even Evie would have to give
her approval. I loved what it symbolized, but I hated the idea that
Ethan got it because he felt like he needed to demonstrate
something. Disturbing as his insecurity was, his focus and
determination was impressive. Once he set his mind on a goal, he
was unstoppable.

I was surprised, relieved and then
inordinately pleased to learn that Amber and Ethan had never gotten
very serious in their relationship. All this time I’d considered
her a dangerous rival, a seductress whose appearance back on the
scene threatened to lure him away from me. I’d been torturing
myself, imagining their torrid love affair and feeling terribly
self-conscious and inexperienced by comparison.

I’d blown everything completely out of
proportion, and I laughed out loud at my stupidity. Ethan wasn’t
the only one consumed by insecurity. I was finally starting to
believe that our union was truly meant to be, for we obviously had
more than one lesson we could learn together.

I thought of my father, and was tempted to
call Afghanistan to announce the good news to him. Ethan was
adamant that I wait, insisting that we tell him about our plans to
marry in person when he got back to the states. He wanted a chance
to make his case, to explain why we were mature enough to make the
commitment, and to see how my father would react. To me, Ethan had
always seemed overly concerned with getting my father’s approval,
but now I could better understand why.

He didn’t need to worry; Dad always said that
you should judge a person by their actions– not by what they said
or anything they might have. Ethan had already proven by his deeds
that he was serious. Like my father, Ethan worked hard for
everything he wanted, stubbornly refusing to take the easy way out.
I knew Dad would think we were too young to marry, and no doubt try
and talk us into waiting, but my father would never judge Ethan by
something that his mother did or didn’t do.

I wondered exactly what kind of woman would
abandon both her husband
and
son, and could only arrive at
the unpleasant conclusion that Ethan’s mother wasn’t a very nice
person. She had obviously hurt him badly, and the more I got to
know him the more clear it became. The wounds on his psyche were
wide open, covered over with a band-aid where stitches were
required.

I brought the ring to my lips. Evie had been
lavishing expensive gifts on me my whole life, but nothing could
compare to the sheer amount of sacrifice that went into Ethan’s
heartfelt offering. I wondered what I had to offer in return. I was
determined to make it even somehow, to work equally hard to be a
good partner, and to help make his dreams of a tranquil future come
true. I wished I could magically erase all the hurts of his past
and give him the security he so obviously craved.

There was just one problem.

In trying to avoid confrontation I’d been
deceptive, keeping my meetings with mermaids secret; holding back
things I knew about them and myself. Sometimes I felt as though I
was being torn in two, forced to lead a double life by
circumstances beyond my control. I refused to give up my mermaid
sisters, and a part of me resented Ethan for even wanting me to. I
was conflicted, for another part of me knew that I couldn’t be
happy– or even stay fully human, without him. I wanted to go on
having it both ways, but the two sides always seemed to be trying
to make me choose.

When I was with Ethan, I was absolutely
certain it was exactly where I belonged… But late at night, when
the rumbling surf called out to me, I was powerless to refuse it.
The rhythmic beat of the waves crashing on the earth were made
virtually irresistible by the addition of moonlight, and like any
good addict, I was full of justifications for my behavior.

I sat up and stretched, dislodging Charlie,
who protested vociferously. He rolled on his back, twisting his
head invitingly and offering me his belly to rub. I petted him
absentmindedly, closing my eyes and straining to listen for the
pulse of the sea. When my phone rang I startled, picking it up to
see that it was Evie calling– she must have just gotten back to the
city. I hesitated, and put the phone back down; I didn’t want to
talk to her today. This was a surfing day, and I’d deal with her
when Olivia was gone.

I could tell there was good surf, for the
ocean was sending me irresistible waves of energy that vibrated up
my spine, beckoning me out to the water. Cruz and Brad were due to
pick me up in an hour for what promised to be a fun day, and even
the looming specter of Olivia’s visit wasn’t going to ruin my good
mood. I got up to dress, putting my hair into a ponytail and
smiling back at the happy-looking girl in the mirror. When things
with Ethan were settled, I felt invincible.

I was sipping my coffee when Abby burst into
the kitchen like a ray of sunshine. For a heavily pregnant woman,
she was surprisingly light on her feet.

“Good morning sweetie-pie,” she smiled
brilliantly, once again reminding me of my mermaid sister, “You
sure look like one happy camper today!”

I smiled back at her, for she was right as
usual. Abby and Lorelei both had a genius for experiencing joy and
spreading it around. When they were happy, which was most of the
time, their smiles infected you like a highly contagious virus.
Neither one of them had an ironic or cynical bone in their
body.

“I bet you’re looking forward to seeing
Cruz.”

“I am,” she said, sliding into the chair next
to mine, “I understand he’s bringing a friend for me to meet.”

“Uh, yeah, Brad,” I said casually. “He seems
like a good guy.” I wasn’t sure how much she knew about Brad and
Cruz’s relationship.

“Do you think they’d stay for breakfast? I
can make something…” she seemed unexpectedly nervous.

I jumped in, “I’m sure they’ll have already
eaten.” I imagined how Cruz would cringe if Abby tried to serve one
of her healthy concoctions to Brad. “Because,” I added
diplomatically, “We’re going to be surfing all day.”