04 A Killing Touch (21 page)

The resistance built to the point of pain in her eyes, to the point where her throat and nose burned. She dropped her head to her knees and dug her eyes into her kneecaps. Emotion against eye socket, eye socket against knee. It was only the tip of the pressure building inside her.

Building and bubbling, obliterating the happiness she’d found in the arms of the man she loved until all that remained were rocks of dread and hopelessness. Aidan wouldn’t allow himself to let his guard drop. He wouldn’t allow himself the chance to feel her love, and she couldn’t help but love him anyway.

Her heart shattered.

With flaming cheeks, she curled into a ball on the floor beneath the burden of hopeless love. She should know well enough by now that people didn’t change. She’d seen the proof of it time and time and time again through her father’s work and then her own. Aidan had made her wish he were the exception. He’d made her wish she were the exception for him. That she was the one journalist he could allow himself to be with. Allow himself to care for.

A tear eased over her bottom lid. The moisture was like a slap in the face. It stung. It snapped her out of her pity-filled hole. Lana swiped the offending tear away and shoved herself off the floor. A man who couldn’t learn to respect her when she’d proven herself many times was not going to have any power over her. He was not going to make her cry. He was not going to cripple her emotions. Not for a single moment.

A few splashes of cold water cooled the heat of suppressed tears and diminished the urge to let loose. After a quick shower she felt as if the control she’d almost lost was firmly back in place. At least it was solid enough for her to finish working the case with Aidan. After that she would just have to make sure her stories and his cases never crossed. Then she would only have to avoid him when they were in groups with their friends.

Maybe one day he would see the real her and accept her, but until he did… As soon as she had her answers and the story, she was walking away. Not that walking would allow her to forget the spine-tingling, fever-inducing touches and the way he effortlessly swept her to orgasm. Or how he could make her laugh. Or how he’d stayed by her side, protecting her and seeing she was taken care of in the hospital.

Yeah, she would have to stay away from him. The man was detrimental to her self-esteem. He could almost make her willing to take the derision with the laughter and orgasms. Thankfully she had been taught to be stronger.

Resolved to be strong while resisting his allure, she could still make sure he realized what he had screwed up. Dressed in her sexiest jeans with heels and a tightly tailored blouse, Lana stepped into her living room. Aidan glanced up from his computer. His phone slipped from his hand and his mouth parted a little.

Barely sparing him a glance, she smiled on the inside as she rounded the bar into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. Aidan fumbled for the phone while whoever was on the other end kept talking, unaware of having been dropped. The tinny voice became muffled when Aidan recovered the phone. After a minute of listening, of offering an occasional uh-huh in response, he hung up and sat the phone on the table.

He traced the edges of the phone, aligning it perfectly with his computer. Without looking his way she knew his eyes never left her. There was a heat he emitted that swept over and through her. It never failed to arouse her awareness of him, but she couldn’t allow herself to be swayed.

“I’m sorry for what I said.”

“It was a good reminder.” Lana pulled a bowl from the pantry and got her cereal. She realized she was counting on her favorite comfort food to ease her heartache, just as she realized it wouldn’t work. “What did you find out? Anything new on the case?”

“Reminder of what?” He moved closer. His voice deepened, enhancing the roll of his “r”.

The man even talked sexy. She stiffened her spine and focused on pouring the cereal. “Is Maria doing any better?”

“A reminder of what, Lana?”

“That we need to focus on stopping these killings.” It was true enough that she thought she sounded convincing. She hoped she did.

“Lana.” He reached around her and pulled the box of cereal from her hand. Setting it aside, he took her by the shoulders. He turned her.

Swallowing the cowardice that had her wanting to avoid his gaze, she raised her head. She would not cave. “Has your team found any new information?”

He stared for a long moment. His gaze searched hers in a way that made her wonder if he was looking for some hint as to what to say. When he did speak he did so with a painful sincerity. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t know why I said what I did.”

She wanted to accept the apology. To go into his arms and pretend he hadn’t hurt her. She couldn’t do either. “Because you believe it.”

She sidestepped, moving out from beneath his hands that rested on her shoulders with implied intimacy. As much as she wanted the closeness, the right to enjoy his comfortable touch, her unwillingness to ignore his opinion of her made it impossible. “Let’s focus on the case and worry about the rest later.”

“You won’t let there be a later.” Resignation more than acceptance darkened his voice, or so it seemed, but it made no sense.

He didn’t want a relationship, especially with a journalist he thought was driven only by a need to hit the top. Why would her pulling back be anything but a good thing in his world? Unless…

No. Damn it. No.

Believing for even a moment that she was his exception was not a smart move. She had always been the rule in the best circumstances. Even with her father, whom she knew loved her, she had never been more important than the job. When he had moved into the more political side of things it had been all about appearances. Aidan was no different. She shrugged off the idea of him actually wanting a later, even if it was limited to a later with great sex and no complications.

“Do you have an update on the case? On Maria?”

Aidan turned with his head slightly slanted to the right. It occurred to her that he did the same thing when he was thinking something through on the job. When he was taking the time to form his thoughts and words instead of letting the first ones fly.

He parted his lips, closed them. Parted them, closed them. Whatever had him hesitating wasn’t working itself out quickly. Seconds droned into what felt like minutes as he stood before her, somehow guarded and unsure. The impressions conflicted with each other as much as with the man. Confident in his thoughts and actions, he always appeared sure of himself. That certainty drove his life, motivated him.

“Dr. Grayson and Maria are together and well guarded. Maria was doing better but is slipping in and out of consciousness. They think it’s her body fighting off the toxins.”

“Then we need to catch Jayleen before she hurts anyone else. Or finds out Maria isn’t dead.”

“We just need the right…approach.”

He didn’t need to tell her that he wanted her nowhere close to Jayleen. He never wanted her around their cases. This one had gotten personal. Lana would not sit on the sidelines and hope for a victory.

Chapter Thirteen

“I’m here to see Dr. Grayson.” Kieralyn’s inherent sass sang through the coms they all wore. It was endearing until she went overboard to get her way. It was how she had gotten past the watchdog to score a meeting with the expert listener for the NSA, now her fiancé. It was how she had gotten Aidan to meet with Lana about this story.

“We’re in position.” From the vacant office down the hall where Breck, Aidan and Lana waited, Breck responded. “Aidan and I will move in after they take you back.”

Ava, Liam and Tyler were patched in from their positions covering the exits. Tyler had wired cameras in the elevators so if Jayleen ran and got into one they would know. Liam was in the nearest stairwell. Ava waited in the break room directly across the hall from the employee entrance of Grayson’s office. That entrance had also been wired with a camera that Ava monitored from a tablet Tyler had created. Having Kieralyn in the offices was a protective measure to keep Dr. Grayson safe if things went bad.

They always hoped for a smooth op, but they never forgot the adage that if something could go wrong it would. And more often than not, criminals didn’t enjoy being arrested.

Like every other op, Breck took point with Aidan working as his backup in calling the shots on the scene. They had been through enough cases and arrests together that they all took cues from each other fluidly. Ava was the newcomer to the team, but her instincts and unique abilities helped her slip in as if she had always been a part of them.

Using the coms, even without direct orders, they knew when to move, where and how just as they knew they could count on backup being in the right spot at the right moment. Having a standard practice and always using everyone to their strengths kept their team working smoothly.

The non-standard aspect to the current op was Lana. They rarely allowed civilians to be involved in a case, and despite the lead on this one being hers to start, she was a civilian. One who required babysitting because if she saw a chance to intervene in a way she thought would be helpful, she wouldn’t hesitate. With this case, her involvement during the take down could too easily lead to heightened danger.

Aidan had no doubt Lana would weigh the risks before moving, but she had a reputation for putting herself in the crosshairs. She was too invested in this story to sit idly by while the team did the heavy lifting. Aidan was too set in his training to allow her much rein.

“I don’t get it. You have a warrant for the office. Why not just go in with it?” Lana asked from where she leaned against a wall.

Aidan didn’t have to look her way to know she had her arms crossed beneath her breasts. He didn’t have to hear the subdued snap in her tone to know she still had the guard up that she had erected in her apartment earlier. He looked anyway, because damn if the sight of her, complete with anger-shrouded eyes didn’t give him a thrill. She was working to keep her emotions locked down, but they were leaking free. And her animosity toward him sparked arousal.

“Because it gives us a kick,” he snarked. She brought out the perversity in him.

“I’ll give you a kick,” she flung back without moving.

“Cute kids,” Kieralyn said. Maybe she was speaking to the receptionist in Grayson’s office. More likely she was addressing him and Lana. “I just love how generous and forgiving their hearts are. How easily they can let go of grudges with a simple thank you or I’m sorry. So unlike adults.”

The receptionist responded with something he didn’t care enough about to hear. Tyler, Liam and Ava all laughed through their coms. Breck chuckled as he glanced between Aidan and Lana. Aidan narrowed his eyes at Breck, half warning and half begging him to say nothing.

He wasn’t going to apologize for not wanting a journalist in on another case, even Lana, even with her promise to hold the story until everything had been neatly tied up. He guessed he could try to be more civil, though, since she was being cooperative.

“We prefer having all the players in one place, where we can see them, before moving in, especially when dealing with someone like our current killer.”

“But you know who it is. We all know who it is. What do you want, a confession? To catch her in the act?”

“Something like that.” The team had discussed the option of taking Jayleen from her home. When they approached a judge for a warrant he had been hesitant, but had processed their request with the understanding that anyone in Dr. Grayson’s office could access the plant in question. He agreed Maria wasn’t a likely suspect, but she could have faked her own accident to throw suspicion elsewhere. And it was still possible that Dr. Grayson was involved.

Until they knew more, their best hope was to surprise the killer into making a mistake. To orchestrate that, they needed all suspects accounted for.

“Wait.” Lana pushed off the wall and dropped her hands to her hips. “You suspect Dr. Grayson of being involved. That’s why you sent Kieralyn in first. You want to see if she can charm him into making a mistake.” Once, slowly, as if he sickened her, Lana shook her head. “You don’t trust anyone. And here I thought your prejudice was limited to people like me.”

Her words were whip cracks across his face, so real he found himself reaching up to rub a heated patch of flesh. The accusations she flung out didn’t surprise him. The surprise lay in how much they hurt. She was only partially wrong, which was an uncomfortable truth.

He only blindly trusted his family—blood and team forged. Lana had always kept her promises. She showed time and again how dedicated she was to the truth. Thanks to her father’s background she understood the importance of not running with a story that could jeopardize a case.

She was loyal, patient and forgiving.

He was the ass she accused him of being. Now wasn’t the moment to worry about changing any more than it was the moment to thank her for her help on their past cases. It wasn’t the time to apologize for never looking past her job long enough to see the real woman or for never admitting how much he cared for her. How damn much he respected her.

He stepped forward, determined to make her see the truth. To ensure that not another moment passed before she knew how he was beginning to feel. It was something he might have done long ago, especially when he had stayed with her in the hospital. He hadn’t realized how scared he could be. How intensely terrified.