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“Thought that was gonna end a little differently,” James slurred slightly, leaning on Matt. Heavily.

“Me too.” Matt rested his forehead against James’s and looked in his eyes. “Glad you aren’t dead.” Matt tilted just a little to kiss him.

God he felt good, warm lips careful with James’s swollen one. He could feel a slight tremble in Matt’s lips, in his whole body. James kissed him back, slipping his arms around Matt’s waist. Matt snuggled into James a little, like he needed some comfort.

Why would Matt need comfort? From killing that guy? He must have killed in battle before. But maybe not so close up. And he had to have taken care of the third person.

Wait, what
had
happened with the third guy? James leaned back a little, trying to bring his brain back on line to ask Matt. But his mind was already niggling at him—someone else was in the room, watching them.

That someone gasped, and James had Matt behind him in a split second, pistol in hand. He had to close one eye to focus, admittedly, but he was protecting Matt just like Matt had him.

It was Benigna. “You… you
kissed
him!” She pointed a shaking finger at them, mouth open in affronted horror.

“Does she practice this shit in a mirror?” Matt muttered behind him. “Come off it, Benigna. You already knew we were fags.”

Her mouth snapped shut, her hands flew to her hips, and her eyes blazed. “
I’m
the damsel! Me! I’m the damsel, dammit! Not you! Or you! And I told you enough times already—call me
Beni
!”

Matt’s view was partially blocked by James, and James was dazed and distracted by Benig—Beni. That’s how the third soldier was able to grab her so easily and press that DEW against her head.

“
Now
she’s the damsel,” Matt said quietly in his ear.

Chapter 18

T
HIS
was when Carmella walked in, ready to pitch a fit over how long the soldiers had been in her kitchen.

The third soldier didn’t seem particularly experienced. She whipped her head around when Carmella walked in, giving Beni a chance to turn her head and bite the hand that held the pistol. Which led to lots of shrieking—Beni’s and the soldier’s.

“Th’fuck?” Carmella barked. “Shut the hell up, Maligna!”

James was already on the move toward the woman holding Beni hostage (well, that was arguable at this point), and had her down and out cold in seconds. “You got cuffs?” he asked Matt. He had a knee in the woman’s back and her arms twisted up behind her.

Matt handed over the flexies. James cuffed her and then opened a walk-in cooling unit and dragged out the first soldier he’d taken down, also flexi-cuffed and out cold (ha!).

Carmella flipped over the woman James had taken down. James snorted. “It’s Kandy Melore. My ‘caseworker’ in Boise.”

“Oh. Then that means….”
Shit
.

“No,” James said quickly. “They didn’t know we were here. She was as surprised as I was. I could feel it the whole time. It was dumb luck.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Carmella muttered.

Beni gasped in shock. Then she looked thoughtful. “Yeah,” she said wonderingly. “Jesus
fucking
Christ!” She started jumping up and down and clapping her hands.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Matt muttered, staring at her.

Carmella just rolled her eyes. “Can it, Maligna,” she barked. The jumping and clapping stopped immediately.

“What the hell was she doing out of her office? Is she militia?”

James thought about it a minute. Then he bent down and removed her vest, searching Kandy for ID. “Nope,” he answered when he came up with her card. “Says here she’s RIA admin. I got the impression she forced her way in on this. I bet they sent her here because they never thought we’d be here. That would explain the gleeful feeling she was projecting.”

“I thought you said she was surprised.”

“Yeah. Surprised, shocked, terrified, and gleeful. Think that about covers it.”

Everyone was silent for a few seconds. Until James pointed out they needed to get moving.

“You’re going to have to cuff me, too, and leave me here,” Carmella pointed out. “Otherwise they’ll think I’m a collaborator. Pearl’s on her way, I won’t be stuck long. It’ll give her a kick to ‘rescue’ me.”

Clearly, it was necessary. But James looked like he’d rather eat a laser pistol. Matt shrugged. “I’ll do it. I can just pretend you’re Anais.” Carmella chuckled.

“Maybe since I’m a weak old nun, you could cuff me to a chair. No, not that one, the one with the cushion,” she snapped when Matt grabbed a counter stool. “James, take the NSAIDs in the medi-kit before you can’t see out of that eye. Not so tight!” she complained to Matt as he brought her arms around behind the chair.

Yep, just like Anais. He cuffed her to the chair while James went and grabbed their packs. Beni obviously hadn’t packed for herself, judging by how light her pack looked.

“All right, get going. I’ll update Pearl. She’s going to have to pretend you tricked her, somehow. I don’t think that woman’s down for long, so get a move on.” Matt looked back at Carmella, and got a goodbye wink from her. He smiled. He had to admit he liked her quite a bit.

So, that left James, Matt, and Beni crouched by the side gate when they heard Pearl shriek. James had the distracted gate guard out cold in seconds, and they were outta there.

James had to help Beni with the NV lenses. Matt could see the sense in giving her some, too, and was thankful Pearl and Carmella thought to include some. He was just too disgusted with her earlier histrionics to care if she had them in.

She was quiet, though. At least, she didn’t speak. She still sounded like a bull moose coming through the brush. Apparently they didn’t give woodcraft badges out in the convent.

When they got to the gas station, Matt could tell something was off. James scoped it out for a minute too long from the brushy ditch. Then suddenly he stood up, stuck two fingers in his mouth, and whistled.

Th’fuck?

From the small copse of trees a little west of the station, a large shadow detached itself and started trotting toward them.

It was Miz.

It was appalling how happy Matt was to see her. And not just so she could carry their stuff. James was actually hugging her around her neck while she bobbed her head enthusiastically. James got hit a couple of times, but he didn’t seem to mind.

He turned to Matt and gave a huge smile, one hand on her withers. James reached out and pulled Matt to him, and they stood there in a little circle. It felt disconcertingly like… a family reunion. Matt turned away from James’s bright smile and looked at Miz in something akin to horror. Was she their… child?

Miz nipped him. Hard. While snorting horse mucus all over him. Damn thing couldn’t even blow her own damn nose. Would she ever grow up?

James squeezed him, and even though he was covered in horse mucus and thought the situation was ridiculously—surreal?—he squeezed back. Because Matt didn’t think many things had the power to make James this happy right now. Just happy, no other crap messing it up. Matt would do a lot to give him more of that.

“What in the hell is that?” Beni’s voice was thin and shaky.

Oh, Jesus.

“’S’a horse,” James said, mystified.

“But what’s it
doing
here?”

“She’s meeting us.” Subtle emphasis on “she.”

Beni was a city girl, it appeared. She knew nothing about horses. “You’ve lived in a convent in the middle of nowhere for almost ten years. How can you know nothing about living in the country?” Matt couldn’t believe her.

“I didn’t go
outside
. Not unless someone made me.”

“What the hell did you do?”

Beni blushed, or at least her face got darker. It was hard to tell with the NV lenses what actual color she was. She mumbled something.

“What?”

Hands on hips. “I said, ‘I tried to get around the netminder and download erotica.’ And I snooped around, I guess.”

Even Miz was staring at her. She made a pretty strange nun.

“Guess we’d better call in,” James said after a short silence. Beni flounced to the wall of the abandoned gas station and leaned against it, doing her best “disaffected youth.”

They were a bit late on call-in; it was almost 0000. Lance answered on the first ring. “About fucking time,” he grumbled.

“Yeah, we had to bug out unexpectedly. We’re heading for the dam tonight.”

“I don’t think I can up the rendezvous.”

“Don’t; we can’t promise we’ll make it any earlier.” Matt gave him a rundown on the situation. Once Lance was done being his boss, he became Grampa, and started telling him to be careful and yadda, yadda. Matt passed off the handset to James with relief.

It was short-lived. Lance was updating James on his military status. They were talking about the conditions of discharge, Matt finally figured out.

“Yeah, I can handle the medical. I can make myself available.”

Available for
what
? “James, tell me.” James ignored him. He grabbed the phone from him. James stood there a second, gaping at his empty hand, then tried to grab it back, but Matt was prepared for that.

“—they’ll expect you to be available to be poked at by their R&D guys for God knows how long,” Lance was saying.

“Tell them no deal.” There was no fucking way Matt was putting up with that.

Lance gave a long sigh. “It’s James’s show, Matt.” He didn’t sound enthusiastic about it, either.

“No. Fucking. Way.” He was not putting James through this. “Tell them we’ll run for it. It won’t be easy to find an empath who can sense an ambush a mile off. Or a guy who has top-secret SAIA-sensing technology.”

“They have guys like James to track him, you know. And
what
top-secret tech?”

“Later,” Matt said shortly. “They may have guys like James, but those guys haven’t had their implants ‘developed’ the same way. He can do shit they can’t imagine. And they never will if they don’t cut a decent deal.”

There was a long silence. Matt looked at James. The look on his face sent a slicing pain through Matt’s chest. He looked destroyed and vulnerable, but as if he’d be okay with that if Matt meant what he was saying. Matt wanted to drop the phone and grab him. Hold him tight, rub his face in his hair—

“They’ll never go for not being able to study him, Matt.” And didn’t that just sum it all up right there? James wasn’t a soldier anymore; he was a fucking science project. He may not have had any choices about the implant as a soldier, but he had some rights. Matt wouldn’t stand for his humanity being secondary to his implant and what it could do.

“You’ll never see your family again, Matt.” Grampa said, his voice a little unsteady. “You’d go with him?”

“I’ll go with him.” Matt was staring into James’s eyes. “If he wants me to.”

James’s face was slack with shock, but his eyes glistened. James carefully planted a hand above his head on the rough brick wall. He leaned into it, and reached out for Matt with his other hand, gripping Matt’s neck and bringing his head in so James could rest his forehead against it. Like he needed Matt. James sighed and closed his eyes, and Matt could almost see the tension leaking out of him. Matt slid his free hand around James’s waist, gripping fabric and holding on.

“So, what are you suggesting?” Lance finally asked in the silence.

“They can study him.” James’s eyes flew open and stared into his. All Matt read was trust. He kept his mind as open as he could, only protecting that last little kernel of emotion he couldn’t bear exposing yet.

He took a deep breath. “They can study him for two weeks a year, max. And he gets to take a guest with him. Eight-hour days.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Lance sounded a little more solid, now. “I might be able to swing this, if James stays with QESA the rest of the year. Anais will probably have to cough up periodic reports.” They both knew that was no issue. Anais didn’t do shit she didn’t want to, and she’d blithely bullshit her way through it and happily admit to it later. Major General Selkirk would back up whatever she chose to do.

“’K, Grampa. We’ll check in tomorrow night and see where you’re at.”

“No, Matt, no check-ins. Just get to the river and we’ll talk when you two get home.”

When Matt hung up, James was vibrating with suppressed emotion. Matt wished he was an empath so he could figure out what all was going on in James. He’d have to find out the old-fashioned way.

He slipped his other hand around James and rubbed his back in little circles. “What?” he asked, keeping his voice low. James just shook his head, his forehead still pressed to Matt’s.

Matt let him have his privacy, and pressed on James’s back with his palms, instead, bringing him in. He gave James a full-body hug. Not sexual, but meant to bring warmth and comfort everywhere. “’S’okay, babe. We’ll work it out. I’m not letting you do this alone.”

I
T
WASN
’
T
that James wanted to do this alone. He just didn’t want to have to drag Matt into it. James was, to put it mildly, a bad relationship bet. He had a fucking mutant alien brain in his head, he was going to be a bug under a microscope for the rest of his life, and until they were out of Idaho, Matt was in grave danger because of him. If the RIA caught them, he’d end up as their lab rat, but Matt would be executed.