3 (8 page)

“I know.” Nic
replied.

I could hear his sister
saying
“Get her the hell out of here!
Take her back where you found her, she’s crazy and has huge issues,
take her home!”

They had me in the truck
quicker than we could blink. On the way back to McDonald's, Nic
asked everyone to never mention this to anyone, they all agreed
pretty quickly. Nic hopped out of the back, I had both hands
on the side of the truck ready to get out when the boy who had his
arm around me earlier, that started me tumbling into my horribly
embarrassing frenzy of delirium said “I wanna know if you wanna go
on a date.....”

His friend chimed in and
said “He's in love with you!” I finally got mad, I wanted to reach
across the cab and smack'em, when I felt Nic put her hand on mine
and said “Addie my mom's here.” I climbed out using the tire to
step down and could feel my inner body still boiling from anger,
like a pot about to boil over. I turned and apologized to everyone
quickly for my actions and walked away and didn't look
back.

We got in the car and her
mom was totally silent the first couple of minutes. Then chimed in,
“Have you been drinking? And smoking? You two reek of alcohol and
cigarettes!” She was mad and even though we weren't smoking others
had been.

Nic replied “Mom, Addie and
I had one beer each and we won't ever again, it was gross, we went
to a party at my friends Ben's house. It was horrible they were all
drinking and smoking so we asked them to bring us back.”

She nudged me “Oh, yeah it
was horrible.” I replied. She looked over at me and gave me a small
smile.

“As long as you don't do it
again and you tell me the truth, you aren't in trouble, but this is
a warning. Another incident like this and I'll have to tell your
parents Addie, and Nicole you'll be grounded.”

“I promise.” Nic said. “Me
too,” I mumbled.

The rest of the ride back to
Nic's house, was quiet, she kept looking at me nervously like I'd
lose it any second. I felt weird. She turned to me in the car and
whispered “What was he thinking?” she shook her head in
disgust. I wasn't quite sure if she was talking about Logan or
the boy from McDonald's and I didn't care. I didn't say a
word.

When we got to Nic's room
she closed and locked her door. Looking at the floor ashamed of my
behavior, I told her “I don't even remember anything. I don't know
what happened. I remember crying upstairs, but I don't even
remember going upstairs. I’m sorry.”

Nic's voice cracked, “Don’t
apologize, you were due, you needed to cry it out…. It was a
delayed reaction.” She paused, “you ran up the stairs screaming.
You went on and on about how you didn't provoke him, it wasn't your
fault. You asked if we thought it was your fault, I think it had to
do with that night that you told me about.” A long time passed
before she started again “You also asked if you should tell
someone. Thank goodness you told me what was going on so I at least
had a clue, not sure I helped but at least I had an idea.” She
cleared her throat “You kept repeating, ‘I didn't ask for it, he
started it, I didn't start it and it wasn't my fault.’ And you're
right Addie..... It wasn't your fault and you didn't start it, nor
did you deserve it. If you need to tell your parents I'll go with
you.”

I laid down and starred at
the ceiling in silence. We never spoke of that moment or the
incident again, either of them.

So with all that, why did I wake up at
3:17a.m. again? I had a dream of receiving several red roses. Why?
I could see it if I dreamt about getting a red “A” sewn on my
sweater. But roses?

When I woke
Sunday
, I tried to think of other
things, to think of other subjects, normal things. I wanted to
smother those
other
memories and make 'em go away. I tried
thinking of something that made me happy and my mind started to
wander a bit when my thoughts turned to Storm, him holding
my hand at the wake and kissing me. I day dreamed of him
saving me from Logan, as soon as Logan knocked me to the floor
Storm was there saving me from that dreadful night. And when
that guy tried kissing me on the couch Storm was there too.
I had a lot of time to think of Storm and I was coming around
to actually liking him, of course it was me making him into my
knight in shining armor. The reality of it was he had a girlfriend
and he kissed me while he had a girlfriend, so I need to smother
him too, the thoughts of Storm and thinking he's boyfriend
material.

That week at school,
I noticed he had a great smile and beautiful eyes, and
even though someone can become more attractive the more you know
them, he really was attractive. In history class, Storm drew a
picture of Jesus on the cross and gave it to me. We happened
to be talking about religion that week in class. I thought it was a
really good picture too. Because of his drawing, I thought we had a
lot more in common and he was growing on me. By the following
weekend I was very happy about the aspect of knowing Storm. I
thought about the time we dated in eighth grade and then about
the kiss after the wake, it was weird, not the kiss itself, but
weird because he did it.

Maybe he would never go out
with me again, anyway. Still, maybe he just kissed me to show
me what I'm missing and now he thinks he has the upper hand. Quit
wasting my time thinking about him, he has a girlfriend; maybe I'm
over analyzing the whole situation. Maybe I just wanted any
old boyfriend, a protector, someone I could trust and
rely on. I spent way too much time this week thinking about him and
it took me twice as long to get my homework done. I decided I would
focus on getting a boyfriend, not that it will happen but I'll give
it a whirl.

That
night I watched a Bruce Lee movie and
dreamt I knew Karate. Maybe it was
time I learned some self-defense, maybe if I had, Logan
wouldn't have gotten me pinned down. When I think of the incident I
picture every scenario of what I should have done to have avoided
the whole mess.

In my dream, Bruce Lee was
my teacher and we were training in the field across the ravine.
After, we started running that same wolf from my dream before began
following us. I ran up the dirty slide and the wolf stopped
mid-way, his eyes were glowing.

When I got
to school on Monday, to my surprise I saw Storm in the
hallway before first period and he came up and chatted with me
and gave me a peck on the cheek and said “Catch ya later”. I
thought holy crap, pining over him all weekend may not have been a
waste of time. If he gave me a kiss like that he can’t be all that
serious about his girlfriend. I was going to have to find out more
about this Shelby girl and see if maybe they broke up. ...or
find out if he's just messing with me.

I had decided to wear
my white jeans today because there weren’t many more days I could
wear them, probably none. And I wore my favorite striped colored
tee that looked really good with them. Lo and behold when I got to
Algebra, my third period class I sat down in the middle row, middle
seat, like I usually did and a girl to the left of me one seat back
tapped my arm to get my attention. Class hadn’t started yet
and it was noisy. She scooted her chair really close to me and said
“I think you sat on something.” She paused “Your jeans are dirty in
the back…..” she had a longer pause. “I think its blood, I think
you got your period.” 

My face had to turn all
sorts of shades of red. Could it be that I finally got it, I
thought you were supposed to get a warning of cramps or spotting or
something, but no, not me of course. It happened today because I
decided to wear my white jeans after Labor Day. I looked back at
her and said “Really, crap I had no idea.”

She said “Stay there,” like
I was going to go anywhere at this point.

She got up; she had long
black straight shiny hair and was very slim, her jeans so
tight I’m not sure how she got them on. She whispered something to
the teacher and came back to my desk and said “Grab your books,
come with me.” She handed me her jacket “Tie this around your
waist.” I quickly tied the long sleeved rain jacket around my waist
and got up hoping nothing was showing. She made me go first, I
stopped outside the class and she pointed right, so I turned right
went up the stairs, we were headed toward the nurses
office.

She introduced herself as we
were walking and….she said “Hi I'm Shelby, the jacket is covering
everything perfectly, don’t worry I know just what to do. This
happened to me the first week of school, just tell the nurse you
are very upset and embarrassed and she’ll let you go home.” She
said quickly and with a great big grin. “Really?” I replied. I was
mortified and embarrassed and to top it off my mind was going
two-forty. This was Storm’s girlfriend…. does she know who I am?
Has Storm ever told her about me? Does she know he kissed me?
Couldn’t I have worn blue jeans today or black for that matter?
White pants were definitely out of the question for me for a
while…. Dude this was Shelby the girl I was supposed to find out
more about!

“Thank you so much.” I said
as calmly as possible. “I'm Addie, Addie Gellar. I wondered how
long I had been walking around like this.” And I put my hand out to
shake hers. It couldn't have been too long because I went to the
bathroom just after first period and no signs then, I calculated in
my head. The nurse was on the phone when we got to her door, we
waited a minute outside. Shelby was a fast talker, and she talked a
lot, she was telling me about her classes. I read the name plate
outside the door, Nurse Melinda.

When the nurse was off the
phone she waved Shelby in and asked “What can I do for you
today Shelby?” with a great big smile. The nurse was older, I am
not good with ages but she had to be in her fifties, she was a
little chubby but still had a nice shape with salt and pepper hair.
I walked in behind Shelby and she replied “My new girlfriend
Addie is sick just like I was the last time I was here,” and she
gave the nurse a wink.

The nurse stayed in her
chair and winked back “I'm so sorry to hear about that Addie, would
you like me to call your parents to come pick you up?” Wow was that
easy, I didn’t even have to grovel or anything. I just shook my
head yes and smiled.

Nurse Melinda asked Shelby
if she needed a note to get back into class. Shelby replied, “Yes,
please.” As she was writing up a note, I turned to Shelby and said
on the down low “Thank you so much for helping me out – I wonder
how many others noticed and didn’t say a thing to me – I wish I
knew so I could spite them later.” We both giggled.

The nurse handed Shelby a
note and off she went, “See ya tomorrow” she said as she walked out
the door. The Nurse pointed to her chair and I said “I don’t really
want to sit because I have actually leaked through my pants.” She
said “Go ahead and sit I will take care of everything.” So I sat on
my knees. “Now Addie what is your last name?” I told her “Gellar G
- E - L - L - A – R”

“What is your home phone
number or a number I can reach an adult that can help you out like
a mom, aunt, guardian or grandmother, I am asking for a
female due to the nature of the illness. She gave me a wink, “it
may be more comfortable for you this way.” 

I smiled back, I was
definitely more comfortable calling a female, like a man would
understand, but the only person I could call was my mom anyway. I
gave her my home phone number. She continued “This happens to lots
of girls every year. I don't want you to feel bad or be
embarrassed. It happened to me a few times myself when I was in
high school.” She put her hand on top of mine which was resting on
the desk and gave it a little rub. She handed me the phone “Why
don't you talk to your mom.”

That night I had a weird
dream that woke me up, I felt panicked and wonky, like it actually
happened to me, it seemed so real. It was 3:17a.m., this was
becoming a habit. It took me a minute to get my bearings; I had
another dream “not” about me. Again, this one started out
being me but then I was watching the event unravel. I have noticed
the last two dreams I had that came true had something white in
them. The white object was usually the main object of the dream.
The girl in the field had on a white outfit, the
man on the
pay phone had on a white trench coat and tonight there was a white
pickup truck, not that this one has come true yet but if it does
then my point will be proven.
I made a mental
note; these items are not likely to be white in the reality version
but are labeled white as the significant part of the story. The
fact that I have been waking up at 3:17a.m. may be a factor as
well.

In this dream, I was driving
a white pick-up truck, it was unusually cold, the heater was on and
it was raining. I put my wipers on, I could hardly see, visibility
was rough. We were speeding up Route 77, north, toward Cleveland.
We were on a bridge near an exit before the turnpike and we were in
the left lane stuck behind a smaller black car that was moving
slowly and wouldn't move over, so we started to pass on the right.
As we were passing, the truck's rear end slipped right then left,
we swerved to miss hitting the small black car and the truck did a
180! I wasn’t driving anymore I was now watching. I watched as the
truck spun out, and I saw two silhouettes in the cab. I couldn't
see their faces as it was all a blur, but I got the feeling I knew
them, they felt familiar. They spun to the edge of the highway, hit
gravel and debris, and the truck started rolling down the man-made
hill. I saw hands pressed on the window. The truck rolled onto its
side and then over and over again.