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“Fine.” he said, “Show me
where.” We followed him to the shed where he got a shovel and he
hauled us back out to the woods where he would dig up the boot. We
found the exact sinking mud pit. Seeing it the second time we
noticed it was actually marked pretty well with the roots of
an uprooted tree at the base and plants that grew all around the
edge of it but nothing in the middle and you could see where
we struggled. There was a huge oak tree near it and the rest
were all small skinny trees surrounding 'the little sinking
mud pit.' Not quicksand according to my dad. If someone were to get
stuck in the middle, I doubt you could get out. 

Thank goodness Tori had been
near the edge because it was a pretty big area, and our dad
couldn't dig anywhere but at the edges. He dug and dug but the
mud kept caving right back where he was digging. When he started
sliding in and nothing to grab a hold of except for tiny
little trees, my sister and I lent a hand hoping he didn't pull us
in. He was turning red and starting to sweat and then he started to
swear. This time he started shoveling the mud and flinging it
further away. Still the hole kept filling back in. My sister and
I were silent the entire time and didn’t move, unless we were
lending him a hand to keep his balance or from falling in. We
didn’t move or dare say a word or do anything to make him any
angrier than he already was.

Another ten minutes went by, my dad was red
as could be, he stood up rested his hand on the shovel for a
minute, then slung it over his shoulder turned and started walking
home. Tori and I just followed. You know he never found that boot
and we never spoke of the incident or the
“
quicksand
” again. We didn't even get grounded! I'd
rather be there than here though, I'd rather be trembling because
my dad hosed us, than because of the insane and grotesque encounter
with Logan, I remembered him licking my neck and his hot breath on
me and it made me cringe all over again.

Kevin snapped me out of my
reverie, when he came running down the stairs and exclaimed “You
aren't bleeding all over too are you?” he looked at me and spouted
“Good!” and took off back upstairs.

I put my hand on my
neck and felt it; it wasn’t wet anymore. I looked at my
hand, no blood. Kit said with a quivering voice “There's a mark, no
blood.” His voice sounded like a base instead of the alto he’s
always been. I moved my hand slowly up to my forehead
where there was a huge knot, I looked at Kit and he just
shook his head referring that there was no blood there either. The
tears just started rolling down my face again and I still
couldn't stop shaking, the blanket wasn't really helping because I
wasn't cold, I was actually warm. My body felt hot, my head
throbbing, I couldn't move, I was
exhausted. 

I didn't want to move,
but “I want to go home” escaped from me. Kit, not saying
a word, got up and before he ascended the stairs I said “By the
way,“ my voice crackling and deeper than normal “Another one of
their friends was in the front yard.” Kit paused on the stair and
looked at me, “What?” he asked.

“They must be planning a
party. I saw someone in the front yard when… after….
I mean.. when you came upstairs for me.” My voice didn't sound
like me in my head. I could hear every one of his footsteps as he
made his way to the first floor, they rang in my head and
loneliness hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it was the sense of
my security that just disappeared that made me feel
feeble.

I was sitting on the couch
alone, not sure I liked being alone, but I didn't want anyone's
company either. What I wouldn’t give to be at home. What I would
give if I could wake up and this was all a dream.

Kevin came down the stairs
again and spat out words like venom “You hurt Logan bad, he might
need stitches!” He startled me so badly I thought my heart skipped
a beat, I just stared at him and didn’t speak. He stared
back
“You don't even care that you hurt him. What am I
supposed to do now? I can't even believe Logan said he still likes
you, you're a cold bitch!”
His sister was behind
him and started pleading with me not to tell their parents.
Although, I didn’t really hear what else they said, it all seemed
garbled and their voices sounded like they were in a tunnel. The
words “
He likes
me
” were just ringing in my head. “I
just want all of them to leave.” I said half to myself. The
two of them heard my whispered voice and Lucy cried out “Why should
my friend leave she didn't do anything!” My head was too heavy to
hold up so I put my face on my hands and knees.

“Leave me alone” was all I
could utter.

My head spinning, my mouth
was dry and I just wanted to go home. Kevin started yelling at
Lucy, Tori came downstairs and couldn't help but get in the mix. I
just wanted them all to go away; I slouched further into the couch
and let my head fall back into my knees and put my hands over my
ears.

Tori sat next to me and
asked if I needed to call mom and dad? I shook my head no and said
“I don't think so. “ Kit came down and sat on the
stairs.

“Should we go to the
bathroom and check your head and your… well, everything and make
sure you're okay? “ Tori asked. “Oh, look your shirt is ripped, but
not bad we can fix it. Can you stand?” She helped me off the couch,
I slowly stood up, she was checking my jeans; they were unbuttoned.
I thought I fastened them but my hands were trembling so badly I
must not have gotten it latched. She looked up at me slowly and
held my gaze for a while. She started looking me over again. As we
entered the basement bathroom Tori stated, ”You have some blood
stains on your shirt and jeans but just small dots, I think it's
from Logan though. I don't think you're bleeding. Are you?” I shook
my head. “Sit.” She said pointing to the toilet, closing and
locking the door behind her. I let go of my shirt finally. “You're
missing buttons too!” Tori said more excitedly. “I had no idea, I
thought Logan was just joking around, I mean I didn't know, but I
should've checked on you or not left.” She said shaking her head.
“I'm sorry. Are you okay? She asked slowly as if I may not have
caught everything.

She found a clean washcloth
and rinsed it with warm water; she wiped off my face and then my
neck, arms and hands. She rolled my sleeves down so my bruised
wrists weren't visible. “Are you sure you're okay?” she asked again
turning my wrists to evaluate the marks on them before buttoning my
sleeves. I had on my heather red shirt; it wasn’t red though it
looked pink because of the “heathering.” It used to be one of my
favorite shirts but now I couldn’t wait to take it off. I replied
with “I think so” my voice still raspy and unfamiliar.

“Let's get you some ice
packs and aspirin.”

“... and water please.” My
voice pricked, from my throat being so parched.

They were all silent when we
came out of the bathroom, so silent you could hear a pin drop.
Lucy's friend and Logan were present. Logan was holding an ice pack
and towel over his right eye. I stopped. When I looked into his
eyes they looked normal, dark but normal.

Tori said “What the hell are
they still doing here?” I was frozen in the doorway still holding
my shirt shut. She looked at them and barked “Go home or I'm
calling the police! And if your other friend is still lingering
outside get him outta here too!”

Kevin started in “Logan
might need stitches! The bleeding won’t stop and I can't just send
him home!”

“Sure you can!” Tori
retorted “Get all your friends out of here including the guy in
your front yard! Now!”

“What guy in the front yard?
You're delusional! Your sister started a fight with my friend and
now you’re lying about us inviting other people over, next you'll
say we’re having a party!” Kevin yelled. Then Lucy chimed in and
then Kit. Everyone was talking or yelling all at once, I couldn't
hear anyone and I just started to cry again.

“STOP IT!” Stop yelling at
each other!” Tori shouted “The only way we're going to clean up
this mess is to have all guests leave the house.” She eyeballed
Logan and Lucy's friend and pointed toward the stairs. “We need to
make sure the house is in good shape, no blood, nothing broken
and we'll re-vacuum the carpet so they cannot tell anyone's been in
the living room. Everyone will leave Addie alone, if she chooses to
tell, that is up to her!” She put her hand up before Kevin and Lucy
even got another word out. “Kit go get Addie some water, Lucy find
a needle and thread. Kevin get her an ice pack and a couple
aspirin.”

They didn't move. They all
just stood there with their mouths opened, come to think of
it so was mine. Tori never took charge like that over here;
sure she was really bossy at home but never anywhere else. “What
are you looking at? Move! Or I'll tell our parents!” she yelled. It
made me jump but they all hopped to it. Tori turned to me with such
empathy in her eyes and said “I am so sorry Addie, I am sorry;
no one will touch you now I promise.” She intertwined her fingers
in mine. The two of us need to stick together, two are better than
one” and she gave me a wink. In that short moment I thought I saw a
flash of my grandmother in her and I stopped shaking.

“So we aren't going to tell
anyone what happened?” I asked Tori. She put her arm around
me. “That’s entirely up to you or if you want me too…” Kevin had
come down with a towel and a baggie filled with ice. He moved his
hand toward us and shook it impatiently. “So are you
gonna keep your mouth shut? You know you started the whole
thing. If you wouldn't have teased Logan none of this would have
happened.” Kevin said defensively.

Tori stepped right in front
of him and said “Your friend is an asshole and if you or your
friend come near my sister again, or any of us for that matter,
I’ll
sic my boyfriend and his friends on
the two of you! Now back off Kevin or I'll be the one to tell
our parents!”

Tori was great, she turned
to me and said “This isn't your fault” Tori repeated it a
couple of times. As I tried to speak my voice kept cracking. “I
just want to go home and I never want to come back.” Tori agreed,
but turned to Kevin and said “You forgot the aspirin.”

As the Monaham's and Kit
appeared back in the basement each retrieving what Tori had asked
for, everyone was silent. I know they wanted to know if
I was going to tell. I just wanted to go home. No
more talking, I wanted to be left alone. No one spoke another
word the rest of the night. Tori sewed my buttons back on and fixed
my shirt up pretty good considering. I started to shiver
again even with the blanket, I thought it was from the exhaustion
starting to set in. Even so Kit got my jacket, it helped cover
up my shirt. Tori fixed my bangs to cover the bump on my head.
Everything looked fine on the outside.

A week passed and I never
spoke of the incident to anyone, not Tori, Kit, my parents and not
even a word to Nic. My brother and sister never brought it up, and
I'm sure the Monaham's didn't either. If Logan needed stitches, I'm
sure he lied about why he needed them, because if anyone ever found
out what really happened I'm sure Logan and the Monaham's would be
in monumental trouble.

That was until the Friday
after my incident, my mom called me into the basement. She was
putting clothes into the wash. I saw the
shirt I wore that night and I felt a wave
of heat flush through my body. She was holding my shirt above the
washer. She started saying something that I couldn't
hear. Then she dropped it in, next was my bra. I could see
that the lace was still torn and hanging off of one side, I forgot
to fix it. My body got warmer and warmer, I felt sick and
light-headed. My mom knew something happened, she was going to ask
me about it. What do I say? Then, I felt a faint
pang of relief and my eyes welled up. I could finally
tell my mom.

“Addie,” my mom said loudly.
“Addie are you feeling okay? You're very pale and why are you
crying.” She dropped my bra in the wash and I felt myself exhale.
She stepped toward me and I flinched. She said “I am just going to
feel your head Addie, are you getting sick?”

“I’m a little tired mom and
my eyes are burning.” Burning eyes in our house was a tell-tale
sign for too much chlorine from swimming but my voice had cracked
too. “What did you call me for?”

“Never mind sweetie, you go
lie down.”

I went to bed and cried
myself to sleep.

That night I had a dream; it
was about me and a wolf running peacefully in the ravine behind us.
When I ran up the dirty slide and turned to wait for the wolf he
was gone. It wasn’t unpleasant but unusual, plus, my dream didn’t
wake me.

That week we had a swim
meet. I was glad for the distraction for something to do. It was
quite comforting knowing I could swim and be able to go to swim
parties and other such water events and not worry. I’m always very
comfortable in the water. It's like walking or breathing air to me.
When my parents saw how bruised up I was I had to lie and tell them
it was from the roller rink. At times at the roller rink we would
all hold hands, skate around rink as fast as we could and then let
go of the person on then end. I have gotten bruised up from it
before. However, when eighth grade ended so did our trips to the
roller rink, not that my parents knew that though.