365 Ways to Live Happy (2 page)
Do you have an inner critic that constantly reminds you that your nose is too big or your hips are too wide or your chest is too flat? Think of three wonderful things that you love about yourself and write them on a card. They don't have to be your physical attributes; they could include things like “I love my compassionate nature,” or “I love my ability to immediately put other people at ease,” or “I love the fact that I have great inner strength.” Tape the card to your mirror, computer, refrigerator, or other place where you can frequently be reminded of the gifts that are uniquely yours.
When coincidence shows up in your life, bringing you just what you wanted, you might shrug it off as one of those once-in-a-lifetime incidents. But begin to notice how frequently it happens and feel joyful when it does because you are attracting synchronicity into your life. When you desire, for example, to fall in love with a gorgeous guy and suddenly he shows up sending you a “wink” or greeting on your online dating site, consider becoming his pen pal. You never know what could develop. The more you notice such synchronistical events, the more you embrace and encourage them, the more they will happen. Feel happy and expectant when they do.
You don't need a reason to indulge in some sensual pleasure. Fill your bathroom with blooming orchids for a super sensual feast for the eyes. Orchids such as oncidiums, cymbidiums, dendrobiums, and paphiopedilums are known for their lush and colorful blooms that can last for weeks. All they need is a little light, warmth, and moisture (bathrooms are perfect places for them). Stick them in antique urns, glazed pottery, or terra-cotta pots. Group them along the window sill, on jardinière shelves, or around a Victorian plant stand. Put on some music. Draw a bath. Drop in your favorite scented oil and a few exquisite orchid blooms. On a bathtub tray or a small table nearby, place a flute filled with sparkling apple cider or champagne, a chocolate truffle, a scented candle, and even a book that inspires you. Take your time, luxuriate, and let the cares and concerns of your day float way. Permit your mind to fill with peaceful, joyful thoughts. When you step out of the bath and back into your world, you will feel renewed and ready to meet whatever challenges may be coming your way.
Your bookshelves need dusting, the dishes still stand in the sink, the floor needs mopping, and you haven't even gotten around to the laundry, but you need a moment to deflect or discharge the worries of the day. Take that time to indulge in something that makes you feel peaceful and relaxed. For example, sit in a rocker and gaze at the fresh red tulips on the kitchen counter. Walk into your garden and inspect your plants for new green shoots. Drop some bread crumbs for the pigeons and mourning doves or fill the birdfeeder with Niger seed for the little yellow finches. Feel the wind on your face, the sun on your back, and freshness of a new moment imbued with tranquility.
Plan a little time off just for yourself to do some inner reflection. The amount of time is not as important as getting the respite you need. Make your time away a priority. It's a small amount of time just for you to clear your head, gather your energy, and get perspective. Retreat to someplace peaceful where you can relax and have a break from the responsibilities of work and family. Don't know of any great retreat places? Take your favorite book and head to a beach. If there's no ocean in your backyard, find a shady bank along the edge of a lake, creek, river, or a pond — someplace where the earth and water meet. Sink into your beach chair, tune into the sounds of nature, open your book, and lose yourself in story. Or, just sit back, close your eyes, and let your mind wander. You don't have to do anything while on your retreat but to make a space for tranquility and joy to fill you.
Nourish your inner being by diving into meditative reflection, centering and grounding yourself, and endeavoring to deepen the experience. According to Harvard scientist Herbert Benson, who has conducted studies on Buddhist meditation and the effects of the mind on the body, when you turn inward through meditation, complex activity in the brain (as seen on MRI brain scans) takes place. That activity actually calms the body, reduces stress levels, and promotes healing. Eventually a period of quietude is reached and as your concentration deepens, you experience a disconnect between the body and mind. Some people describe that experience as one of awesome peace and joy.
Heard any good jokes lately? Have you tried passing them on? Telling a funny joke is a terrific way to cheer up others, defuse tense situations, add much-needed levity in times of stress, and generate some positive effects on your health. Memorizing a joke and telling it to others is just one way to cultivate a sense of humor. Did you know that laughing may actually reduce your risk for heart disease and can mitigate damage incurred when you are experiencing deep distress and pain? Also, some sources say that while sniffles, sneezes, and coughing are contagious, laughter is more so. Want to feel good? Be able to laugh at stressful situations. Did you hear the one about … ?
A massage is a great way to release the stress and tension you hold in your body. There's nothing comparable to human touch coupled with aromatherapy to transport you into a place of relaxation and peace. If you don't like rose scent, ask the masseuse to use sandalwood, ylang ylang, myrrh, or your favorite essential oil. Massages are de rigeur at day spas. They are also offered at deeply discounted rates at local colleges with massage therapy training programs. Another option is to ask your significant other to give you a massage, but be advised that making that choice could lead to other activities. Ah, but that could also relieve stress and put a smile on your face.
Cook up something spectacular such as the comfort food of your childhood, an exotic creation you first tasted on your honeymoon, or even a savory palate-pleaser you learned to cook when you were dating that foreign guy or girl. If you are a working parent, then it's unlikely you ever cook just to please yourself. So once in a while, cook what you want to eat instead of only what the kids will eat. They can nibble on pizza, ordered in, while you happily savor every bite of that Moroccan tangine chicken, New England crab cakes, Midwestern meatloaf, Southern fried chicken, or other favorite. You know how happy you feel eating your favorite food. That's why it's your favorite.