365 Ways to Live Happy (6 page)
Put yourself out there if you haven't dated in a while. Or, if you have and are interested in trying some new ways of meeting interesting people and possibly a life partner, try some of the newest dating strategies. Online dating sites have proliferated in recent years. Some charge a fee and some do not. Increasingly, speed dating is an interesting option utilized by upwardly mobile young professionals. Back in the day, people thought of matchmakers as belonging within only certain cultures, but more recently matchmakers have gone mainstream and have found the Web and the Yellow Pages perfect venues for advertising their services: namely, to help you find Ms. or Mr. Right. If you seek a companion for your life and haven't yet found one that's a keeper, don't give up. You have more options and tools than ever for finding that perfect someone for you.
Host a hands-on, sushi-making party for your friends. Tell each person to invite someone else. You get the supplies (sushi rice, nori or seaweed sheets, crab, cucumber, avocado, and other fillings). Explain the directions:each person puts the rice on the nori, adds the filling she desires, rolls the sheet, wets one end and wraps it over the other to seal close, and then cuts the roll into several pieces. Depending on the number of people participating, you will have plenty of sushi to eat. Sharing a meal with friends is one of the most pleasurable activities known to humankind. And who knows? You just might meet someone special. Saki, anyone?
Feeling flirtatious and sexy? Are you ready for a romantic tryst? Not yet finished with the wine? Slip a little note under his glass. Invite him to join you for some fun. Don't make it seem like he's expected to perform. Instead, tease, tantalize, and titillate. Let that strap of your little black dress slide off your shoulder. Lean forward and engage his attention. Seduce him. Help him believe that in that moment, he is the only man in the world for you. Hold his hand. Let your mutual arousal build and set the pace for everything else. Who needs another glass of wine? Enjoy.
Most men and women find bringing up this topic a little tricky. You know what gives you pleasure. And she knows what she likes. Here's an easy way to enter a discussion about sex. Talk about how the ancients did it. Read the Kama Sutra or a book about Tantric yoga practices that utilize the sexual act as a means to enlightenment. Read about the practices of the ancient Greeks and Romans or the erotic exploits of the Victorians (some of them weren't as prudish about sex as you might think). The point is to go from general to specific. Of course, if you are already “performing,” you could whisper in her ear how you'd like to be pleasured. Don't forget to ask her what she likes. That way, you'll both be breathlessly happy.
Ever think about what kinds of meals lend themselves to supper in bed? Hot quiche and salad, soup and sandwich, or a casserole with hot popovers or dinner rolls are easy and can be prepared ahead of time. One of the most unexpected yet sweetest things you can do for your significant other is to bring him a luscious meal in bed. You could even share it with him. While he's munching on that delicious meal you made, you can nibble on his shoulder and whisper sweet words of love in his ear.
Sometimes the answer is a simple no, especially when you are trying to hold firm a boundary that someone is trying to push across. If you have a hard time saying no, try this exercise. Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying, “No, it's not possible. It's just not possible,” then turn and walk away. Think of how wonderful you will feel to be empowered to say yes and no when it suits you. You never again have to give in when you know you don't want to or it is not a good idea. Practice until saying no is as easy as saying yes. And that is a powerful tool in your game-of-life chest.
If you are seeking loyalty and trust in your friendships or the romantic relationship you hope to have, first cultivate those qualities within yourself and then demonstrate them to others. In so doing, you become a magnet for exactly what you want. Similarly, if you seek a gentle, loving spirit for a life partner, avoid someone with a mercurial, volatile, and temperamental nature. Although opposites do sometimes attract, you'll most likely be happiest with a kindred spirit.
Get to know your neighbors. When you meet a neighbor while out tending your flowers, picking up the paper, or walking the dog, say hello to her. Invite her over for coffee and strudel or cinnamon rolls. Get to know her. That means finding out what is important to her, what her hobbies are, what kind of work she does. Find out what mutual interests you share. From that beginning, build friendships with your neighbors. Plan parties on your street for Christmas or Independence Day that involve all the neighbors and their children. You'll be creating memories and cultivating relationships to last a lifetime.
The art of actively listening means to be totally engaged when someone is talking to you. When you truly make an effort to understand others, they appreciate it. Consequently, your relationships with them are strengthened. Make sure you truly understand what your friend tells you by repeating his words back to him. You could start with, “I want to make sure I understand what you're telling me.” Express your understanding of what he's saying and if it isn't right, he'll correct you. Listen without judging. Be fully present. Pay attention. Your relationships will be stronger and happier as a result of your effort.