50 Great Lessons from Life (3 page)

Fear of failure, more than anything else, holds people back from achieving.

If you are afraid of failing, you may never get started.

You should see mistakes as part of life's experience. Everyone makes mistakes.

When a wealthy man was asked how he had made so much money, he said that it was probably because he had made more mistakes than most other people.

The great entrepreneurs and great companies of the world make many mistakes.

Many success stories are the result of trying, failing, trying again and then finally succeeding.

Pharmaceutical companies try to discover cures for illnesses; their experiments fail; and then they have successes.

Great sportsmen suffer many defeats and then break through to win.

If you really want something, go for it.

Stop thinking about going for it.

Don't be afraid to fail.

If you fail, learn the lessons and start again.

This is what many of the great achievers have done.

Many surveys show that a person's need to feel important is greater than their need to be loved.

At 5-star hotels, guests pay a lot and are treated very well.

On their arrival, the head porter greets them like long-lost friends.

He makes them feel welcome and important.

Someone brings them to their magnificent room where everything is perfect.

As they go to dinner, the head waiter greets them and he too makes them feel so important: “Your usual table …”, “Your usual drink…”, “So nice to see you again”.

Top class executives recognise that people need to feel important and valued.

People glow with pride when they receive an award.

They feel important.

Every person is important. Make them feel that way.

We all need help and encouragement at different times.

As we began life, we had our parents, then our teachers and family members, then team-mates, then business colleagues and bosses and mentors.

All helped and encouraged us in some way.

Many influenced us greatly.

Those who were there for us in tough times are never forgotten.

Try to help others who are going through tough times.

They may feel alone.

When you help someone, you often have a friend for life.

When you encourage someone and see them grow and develop, you get great satisfaction.

Be there for people when you can. You will not regret it.

There are many who need help and encouragement.

You can learn so much by listening, yet very few people are good listeners.

You will learn nothing by talking, yet many people talk a lot.

Why do they talk so much?

Is it a need to feel important?

Is it a lack of interest in what others have to say?

Many professional interviewers seem to have a problem listening, often interrupting.

They have a huge need to talk.

Listening is a skill.

It requires much practice.

Try to listen without interrupting.

At first, you may find this very difficult.

Once you practice, you will get better.

You will be amazed at how much more you will learn when you become a good listener.

Many people find it hard to stay silent.

They rush to fill the gap when there is a lull in the conversation.

By listening and by staying silent, you give yourself big advantages.

A famous American businessman – a great listener, who had the ability to stay silent – often would sit at meetings for hours saying nothing.

His silence conveyed knowledge, self-confidence, power and maturity and this helped to earn him many millions of dollars.

He learnt so much.

When someone wants a meeting, often the matter can be dealt with in a phone call.

Don't let unnecessary meetings use up your space.

If you avoid meetings where possible and encourage short reports, you will free up much space in your life.

By picking the right people and delegating well, you will create more space.

That ability to create space is a great skill – one you should develop.

Many senior people, despite greater responsibilities, have more time than middle managers.

They have learnt to create space.

Having created space, breathe well and make each moment the best.

Sit with a blank pad and a clear head and you will be creative and of greater value to yourself and others.

You often see the TV cameras zoom in on a President or a Prime Minister as they come down the steps of the plane, or cross the room, or move to the lectern.

You see someone who moves calmly in a well-cut dark suit and an immaculate white shirt.

There is no sense of rush.

There is a feeling of time, space and self-confidence.

They look the part and they act the part.

They expect things to run smoothly.

Learn from these senior people.

Because, each day, you market yourself.

So, be well-dressed and well-groomed and move at a dignified pace.

Always remember that when someone meets you for the first time they will form a view of you within five seconds.

It takes a lot to change that view.

Look the part – and act the part.

You will be more effective and happier when you are relaxed.

As you continue to breathe in a slow and shallow way through your nose and make each moment the best, you are filling your system with goodness.

If you sit comfortably, close your eyes and do this exercise, you will feel relaxed and calm:

• Picture your forehead being relaxed, then your eyes and then the rest of your face.
  
• Move slowly down from your neck to your feet – all relaxed.
  
• Then start with your feet and move slowly to your forehead – all relaxed.
  
• Soon, you will feel warm and calm.
  
• Keep breathing well.
  
• If a thought enters your mind or you hear a noise, say to yourself, “Relax”.
  
• Then, starting with your forehead, repeat the process.
  
• Soon, you will feel drowsy and you will have a short sleep.
  
• As you wake, count from 10 to zero and stretch gently.
  

Today people everywhere feel stupid for failing to anticipate the world-wide recession.

With the benefit of hindsight, the situation that developed should have been obvious.

But few, even those with much business experience and access to expert advice, saw the economic problems that were coming.

So don't be hard on yourself.

You are human. You won't get it right all the time. Nobody does.

Many in Ireland, who had seen significant growth in asset values in the previous decade, saw those values drop sharply.

In the past, wise investors believed in ‘leaving a little for the next person' and they quit when they were ahead.

There will be new opportunities in the future and again there will be the chance to quit when ahead.

But always keep in perspective success in the area of material possessions: investments, property and cash are tiny when compared to your priceless assets:

• Your ability to make each moment the best;
  
• Your health;
  
• Your sense of humour.
  

Whether it is a sporting occasion, a business occasion or a social function, home ground is always an advantage.

You are more in control.

You know the surroundings well.

There are no surprises.

It is your show.

You can organise things as you wish.

You eliminate much uncertainty.

You are more comfortable, more relaxed, and more confident.

Make ‘home ground' your preferred choice.

The father of the bride was dreading his speech. He hadn't slept well for weeks.

As he stood in front of relations and friends, he froze – then rushed to get it over with.

He tried to tell jokes.

He was embarrassed.

But the guests were sympathetic. Few would have wished to speak themselves.

Many surveys show that speaking in public ranks very high in people's fears – higher even than the fear of nuclear war or of death.

Speaking in public takes practice.

If you practice, you will overcome your fear and you will learn to speak well.

The ability to speak well will boost your confidence.

It also will enhance your image as a leader.

Good speakers prepare well.

It is a performance.

They look and feel the part.

They check the room and practice there, to become comfortable with the microphone, the temperature and the general lay-out.

They get their pace right (this takes much practice).

They use stories more than statistics.

They avoid notes.

They connect with their audience and the really good ones have that great ability to create a sense of occasion.

For those who heard John Kennedy's inaugural address as President of America or his speech at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, when he said, “Ich bin ein Berliner”, the memory will always be there.

When President Reagan spoke at the Brandenburg Gate 25 years later and said, “Mr Gorbachev, tear down that wall”, that too was memorable.

Great speakers look the part, act the part and connect with their audience.

They create a sense of occasion.

Good writers, too, connect with their readers and make each sentence interesting.

Their readers become engrossed; they find it hard to put the book down.

When speaking, avoid rambling … when writing, avoid padding.

If you make things simple, clear and enjoyable, it will help to keep your audience interested from beginning to end.

It is surprising that, in a world of instant communications, good communicators are so rare.

The CEO of a large group asked the newly-appointed Marketing Manager to make a presentation to the Group Board.

The CEO's advice was to be well-prepared.

He reminded his colleague, “Today, you will be presenting to very senior people, who are very strong and well capable of taking tough decisions. They will be kind and fair – but don't mistake that kindness for weakness”.

Standing at the podium to address the distinguished and successful Board members, the Marketing Manager felt tense.

He knew that it was important to make his presentation simple, clear and short.

It had taken him much time to prepare – and it showed.

The Directors were appreciative.

When the presentation was over, many made kind comments.

The Chairman thanked him and congratulated him.

As the Marketing Manager was leaving the boardroom, pleased with his performance and the Board's reaction, the conversation turned to the next item on the agenda.

“Closure of the Dublin plant at the end of this month”, said the Chairman. “We heard the Finance Director's arguments earlier. It is necessary for the good of the company. Anyone disagree?”

With hardly a moment's pause, he continued, “No? Good, please minute the Board's decision, Mr. Secretary. Next item, please”.

In less than a minute, 500 people had lost their jobs, and a once-proud part of the company was closed forever.

The Marketing Manager remembered the Chairman's words: “Don't mistake their kindness for weakness”.

The Board had been kind and fair to the Marketing Manager.

He had felt the power of their kindness. He also knew that it hid no weakness when tough decisions were called for.

It was a great lesson. A lesson he never forgot.

A friend of mine was watching a soccer match on TV when the doorbell rang.

It was his neighbour, who looked uncomfortable.

“Unfortunately, someone has smashed the windscreen of your car”, he said.

While his neighbour had done him a favour by reporting the damage, my friend was in no mood to be grateful.

He had been given bad news.

At such times, there is an urge to ‘shoot the messenger' – to blame the person who gave the bad news.

If his neighbour had said, “I am glad they didn't steal your car” or “In comparison to another neighbour who has cancer, it's not such a big problem”, it might have made things easier.

My friend did his best to be gracious, but he didn't do well.

Try not to be the person to give bad news.

Be slow to confide.

And confide in few.

Many see information as power; some like to share it to show how important they are.

Someone who is your friend today may not be your friend tomorrow, and it is dangerous to assume continued loyalty and confidentiality.

Be careful when taking a drink, because it is often then that someone shares a confidence and regrets it later.

You have no need to show how ‘in the loop' you are.

When someone trusts you with a confidence, don't let them down.

Maintain confidences.

Listen more.

Talk less.