A Basket Brigade Christmas (27 page)

She was weary of him and just wanted to be home. “You know this has nothing to do with wearing a uniform or joining the army. If I had my way, not one man in this town would be off fighting in the war, so don’t accuse me of refusing your suit because you aren’t wearing a uniform.”

By the way he just stood there, she knew there was no need to continue their conversation. She wasn’t going to change her mind, and neither was he.

“If Jacob should send a message, can I rely upon you to deliver it to me?”

“That’s my job.” His jaw was tight as he met her eyes.

She turned to leave but stopped short. “No one has mentioned finding a locket, have they? I thought I’d worn it when I came to the depot yesterday, but now I can’t seem to locate it anywhere. I’ve looked at home and I’ve asked most of the ladies of the Basket Brigade, but no one has seen it. I thought perhaps someone might have found it while sweeping up.”

“The locket Samuel gave you?”

Sarah bobbed her head. “Yes, have you seen it?”

“There’s been nothing turned in to me, and I’m sure my mother would have known it was yours and given it to you if she’d found it. If it should turn up, I’ll let you know.”

Sarah mumbled her thanks and trudged toward home. The loss of her locket had been foremost in her mind until she’d been confronted with Jacob’s unexplained absence at the depot. She bowed her head low against the frigid wind as feelings of hammering defeat assailed her. Where was her locket—where was Samuel—and where was Jacob?

The bell over the bakery jingled, and her father glanced up when she stepped inside. “Hurry and close the door, Sarah. It’s cold out there.”

Tears stung her eyes. She’d barely cleared the threshold before he’d chastised her. “I’m sorry, Papa. I know it’s cold. I walked home from the depot.” She pulled her scarf from around her neck and strode toward the stairs.

“I’m sorry, Sarah. I was more worried about keeping the bakery warm than about my daughter’s welfare. Forgive me. You should go upstairs and fix yourself some tea and warm up. Maybe sit with your mother for a while. I know she misses you.”

“I’ll do that, Papa.”

Once she’d brewed the tea, Sarah carried the tray to her parents’ bedroom.

“What a lovely surprise. How did you know I was longing for a cup of tea and some time to visit with you?” Her mother scooted higher in her bed while Sarah placed the tray on a nearby table.

“Let me arrange your bedding so that you’re more comfortable.” Sarah plumped the pillows and then stepped to the table and poured tea into the two cups. “I’m sorry I haven’t spent more time with you, but it seems there’s always something….”

“No need to apologize. I know you’re kept busy with your duties in the bakery and with the Basket Brigade. I don’t want to be an additional burden.”

“You’re not a burden, Mama. I love spending time with you, but there aren’t enough hours in the day.”

“Is that why you appear so sad? You’ve forced a smile onto your lips, but I see sorrow in your eyes. Is there something beyond the letter from Samuel that’s caused you unhappiness?”

She nodded her head and quietly revealed her concern that Jacob hadn’t been on the train from Chicago. “To make matters worse, I’ve lost the locket Samuel gave me before he left Decatur. I’ve looked everywhere and haven’t been able to find it. Nothing seems to be happening as it should. You’re ill and the doctor can’t seem to help; Samuel’s whereabouts and well-being are a mystery; Jacob has gone missing; and my locket has vanished.”

Her mother brushed a strand of hair from Sarah’s forehead. “Tell me—have you prayed and asked for God’s help?”

“No, I haven’t.” A pang of guilt stabbed her. Why hadn’t she thought to pray? “I seem to always think I must solve problems on my own, and forget to pray, until I realize I have no solution.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Sarah. All of us have times when we are so consumed by our problems that we rush to solve them ourselves instead of stopping and seeking God’s guidance. God understands, but He does want us to come to Him with our needs. Now that you’ve done everything you can think of to resolve your problems, maybe the two of us should pray together. Would you like that?”

Sarah reached forward and lightly grasped her mother’s hand. “There’s nothing that would help me more. Thank you, Mama.”

Together, they bowed their heads. When they’d said their final amen, Jacob and Samuel still hadn’t appeared and her locket hadn’t been found, but a sense of peace had settled in Sarah’s heart. Finally, she had released her worries into God’s loving hands.

J
acob didn’t particularly want to attend the church service that a local pastor conducted each Sunday at the hospital, but he did want to escape the confines of the medical ward. Since his arrival, he’d been quizzed by almost every patient—at least those who were conscious enough to be aware of his existence. Though none of them had laughed at his mishap and a few had even expressed their thankfulness for the help they’d received from military attendants on the hospital trains, feelings of inadequacy and the picture in Sarah’s locket continued to plague him. The church service would provide a brief diversion.

“All them that’s coming to hear the preacher, raise your hand if you need help getting down the hall.” A young medical attendant stood in the doorway leading into their ward.

“If I ain’t got a hand anymore, can I raise my foot?” A patient who looked to be about thirty years old guffawed and raised his leg high in the air after he’d shouted the question.

The attendant laughed with him. “You can raise anything you want as long as it ain’t a ruckus. Glad to know you’re in such good humor today, Corporal Williams.”

“I aim to please. Now, find someone to help me out of this bed so I can go to the church meeting.”

Jacob longed to help the man, but the doctor had adamantly refused to let him bear weight on his ankle. Although he was now permitted the occasional use of crutches, the amount of help he could offer the other patients was limited.

Once inside the meeting room, Jacob took a seat near the front and glanced around. Though it was good the hospital allowed space for church services, the room was a close match to the one he’d just left. Granted, no beds lined the walls, but he was certain the chipped plaster and thin, faded window coverings were a far cry from the stained-glass windows and ornately carved wooden pews that likely adorned the large Chicago churches. Though he’d never attended a church with such finery, he wondered if the city had a group of women like those in Decatur—women dedicated to doing their best to help the wounded soldiers. If so, a bit of refurbishing to make the room more appealing and providing the men with Bibles would likely be appreciated. Maybe he’d mention his idea to the doctor when he next visited. Surely the doctor would know if the women of Chicago had formed a Ladies Auxiliary to aid in the war effort.

Jacob pushed aside thoughts of the gloomy surroundings as a young private stepped forward.

The young man motioned to his left and then his right. “I’m in charge of the music, and as you can see, there’s no piano or other instruments to accompany us. You need to sing out, and I’ll do my best to lead you. We’re going to sing Christmas carols, so most of you will know the words. Let’s start with ‘Silent Night.’”

The men joined in, their voices blending—at least for the most part. Corporal Williams sang with gusto, although he was off-key for most of the song. He didn’t seem to notice the arched eyebrows and shudders of those around him. Corporal Williams was a man filled with joy in spite of his injuries, and the realization caused Jacob a twinge of guilt. How could a man be so joyful even though he’d lost his right hand as well as his left arm up to his shoulder?

They’d barely finished the last notes of “Silent Night” when Corporal Williams called out, “How about ‘Away in a Manger’? That’s my little boy’s favorite.”

A son? How would Corporal Williams ever teach the boy to fish or hunt? Even more, how would he earn a living to support his wife and that little boy? Jacob wondered whether the man had even considered life beyond the walls of the hospital. If so, it was difficult to imagine how he maintained such a positive outlook.

When they had finished singing, the pastor stood and greeted them before thanking God for the opportunity to meet and worship. After the prayer, he opened his Bible to the second chapter of Luke and read the familiar verses about the birth of Jesus.

When he finished reading, he closed the Bible and glanced around the room. “I know that each of you is suffering, and this Christmas is going to be very different from any other Christmas you’ve ever celebrated. So I thought that instead of me preaching a sermon, maybe some of you would like to share a little with each other. Christmas away from home and family is challenging. It’s even more difficult when you’ve suffered injuries that will forever change your life.”

A deafening silence fell over the room. Jacob had been sure Corporal Williams would speak up, but the boisterous man quietly stared at the floor. Moments later, the shuffle of feet could be heard near the back of the room, and a dark-haired soldier stepped forward.

“I believe I have something I’d like to share with all of you.”

Jacob’s breath caught as he stared at the man. He reached into his pocket, removed the locket, and snapped the clasp. He stared at the young man pictured in the locket and then looked at the soldier standing at the front of the room. The likeness was undeniable. His stomach clenched, and he tightened his hold on the silver locket. So this was Sarah’s beau. He was as handsome in person as in the picture. Jacob moved to the edge of his seat, not wanting to miss a word.

The young soldier glanced around the room and smiled. “Most of you don’t know me. I’ve been here for a while, but when I arrived at the hospital, I wasn’t conscious. The last thing I remember was being in the middle of canon fire and the lieutenant shouting orders for us to charge the lines. I’m not sure what happened to me. The doctor says I was probably struck on the head and knocked out. He was beginning to wonder if I’d ever wake up. Now that I realize how long I’ve been lying in a bed resting, I’m amazed, too. In fact, I count it a real miracle that I was carried off the battlefield and brought to this hospital, where the doctors have declared me fit as a fiddle.”

The muscles in Jacob’s stomach tightened.
Fit as a fiddle—and likely going back to Decatur to Sarah.
He should be pleased for the young man, but the thought of losing Sarah to someone else had taken hold and now consumed him.

The young man cleared his throat. “Since regaining consciousness, one thing has become very clear to me: we don’t know how long we have on this earth, and while we’re here, we need to use our time wisely. Instead of holding grudges, finding fault, and harboring jealousy, we need to truly love one another as the Bible commands. With God’s help, I know I can do better from here on out. I know some of you are facing terrible hardship with your injuries, and it’s easier for me to say these things now that I’ve returned to good health. Turning free of grudges and jealousy won’t heal our bodies, but it will heal our hearts and our souls.”

The words pierced Jacob’s heart. Maybe he wouldn’t enjoy a future with Sarah, but wasn’t it more important that he do what this young man suggested so that he could move forward and accept God’s plan for his future? He bowed his head and silently prayed that God would grant him the capacity to release any feelings of jealousy and give thanks that Sarah’s beau hadn’t been killed. When he lifted his head, the knot in his stomach was gone. While several other men were speaking, the hurt, confusion, and jealousy he’d experienced over the past days was now replaced by a sense of acceptance and peace.

At the end of the meeting, the song leader stepped to the front. “Let’s end our time together with one final Christmas carol. Let’s join together in ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful.’”

Jacob lifted his voice along with the other men, and as he sang the words, he prayed that he would remain joyful and triumphant no matter what the future might hold. As the song ended and the men filed from the room, Jacob waited and, leaning heavily on his crutches, moved alongside Sarah’s beau.

He reached into his pocket and clasped his finger around the locket. “I have something I’d like to give you.”

A flicker of doubt shone in the young man’s eyes. “You don’t look familiar. Should I know you?”

Jacob shook his head. “No. We’ve never met.”

“You had me doubting myself for a minute. I was worried that my memory hadn’t returned as well as I’d thought.”

“I think this belongs to someone you love.” Jacob opened his hand to reveal the locket resting in his palm.

The young soldier’s eyes opened wide and then glistened with tears. “Sarah.” His voice was no more than a whisper and cracked with emotion. “How did you get this? I gave it to her the day before I left Decatur.”

Jacob gestured to a wooden bench in the hallway. “Why don’t we sit down? I’m not very good with these crutches.” Once they were seated, Jacob shoved his hand into his pocket, already missing the touch of the heart-shaped locket. “The locket was found on the hospital train that passes through Decatur. One of the wounded soldiers found it. He gave it to me so I could return it to her. I saw the picture inside the locket and could barely believe my eyes when you stepped forward to speak this morning.”