A Beautiful Dark (21 page)

I wound up in the kitchen, rummaging in the refrigerator for something that wasn’t prepackaged food. The yellow light spilled out across the room, and the refrigerator hum made me feel less alone. On the top shelf, I spotted a plate of cookies left over from the batch Aunt Jo had made a while ago. They were probably beyond stale by this point, but they’d have to do. I took the plate out and put it on the counter. I turned on the overhead lights, pulled up a stool, and grabbed a magazine from the growing pile of mail.

I snatched a cookie and was just about to take a bite when something clattered outside. When I looked up, my heart froze in my chest.

There was a face at the window. Shocking blue eyes. Porcelain skin. Straight blond hair. Though I’d only seen her twice before, I’d know her anywhere.

Raven.

I started to panic. What did she want? I knew so little about her, but Asher’s uneasy reaction to the news that she was here in River Springs made me nervous. I got off my stool, unsure of my next step. But when I turned around, it looked like the choice had been made for me.

Raven stood in my kitchen, her blinding white wings unfurled from her small frame. It shocked me how such enormous, menacing wings could come tumbling forth from such a small being. The feathers glinted sharply in the moonlight—and for a moment, I had a horrifying vision that they could slit my neck with one quick swoop, open my arteries, and cause my blood to come spilling to the floor.

I backed away.

“That’s right, back away,” she said, and the calm of her voice gave me chills. “You don’t know how dangerous I am.”

“What do you want?” I tried to hide my fear, but it was like she could sense it.

Her hair flashed in the moonlight.

“Poor little Skye. Two sides to choose from. Two sets of powers
vying
for your attention. What will you do?”

“I—I don’t know. I didn’t know about any of this until the other day.”

Raven circled me like a cat eyeing the mouse it plans to pounce on. “Of course, how could you know?
The human child whose future the Order cannot see and the Rebellion cannot claim
. Isn’t that how it goes? The old foretelling that brought the Rebel and the Guardian to watch you in the first place? The whole reason this mission came to be. How could you know if the Order doesn’t?”

“What? I thought the Order sees everything?”

“Funny, isn’t it? The one girl who has the power to destroy everything, and they can’t even see how their own mission will end.”

“What are you talking about? Asher and Devin haven’t told me anything like that.”

“Oh, the boys don’t know. They are just little pawns in the game. And isn’t it always the girls who run the show, anyway? You’ll be stronger than them before they know it, and they won’t care about you, then. They’ll leave you if they think you’re better. And you will be.” She took a small step toward me, then another.

“Why are you telling me this? What do you want?” I was somehow able to push down my fear, and my voice sounded clear and confident. I almost fooled myself.

Suddenly she was behind me. The sharp edge of her wing pricked my neck.

“Leave Devin alone,” she said. “Let him come back to the Order. He is mine. The Gifted have foretold it and so it shall be.”

“It’s not like I sought him out,” I said defensively, trying to keep still so the feathery blade wouldn’t slice me. “I didn’t ask for this.”

“
You’re
the reason he’s changing.” I broke away and stared. “You didn’t know that, did you? But he is. Don’t you understand what you’re doing to Devin?” Her voice softened. “How you’re tempting him? He likes you. He’s not supposed to feel
anything
for you. You are a mission. He can’t see you as more. He’ll fail if he does. And if he fails . . .” Her voice faltered, and when she spoke again, it was with renewed strength. “It must come to an end.”

“Huh?” I thought about Devin: tranquil, peaceful, confusing as ever. “You must be kidding.”

“The forecasts are shifting. The Sight is changing. And all they know, little Skye, is that it has something to do with you.”

“I don’t know how to stop it.” My next words surprised me. “I won’t stop it. I have to see it through.”

“Then make everyone’s job easier. The Order is waiting for you. They will find you. There will be no place on Earth where you can hide.”

When I didn’t answer her, she hissed, “I will always be watching you, Skye.”

Her wings beat wildly, the cacophony of feathers deafening.

I shut my eyes tight, wishing that would block out the noise, block out everything.

When I opened them moments later, I was alone.

I lay in bed, wide awake, willing sleep to come. Raven had accused me of changing Devin, but my hair smelled of Asher: spicy, earthy, dark. It made my heart pound to remember our kiss, his hands warm against my neck, fingers entwined in the strands of my hair.

“I’ve wanted you,”
he’d murmured, his lips barely touching mine,
“for so long.”

Energy rose off my skin in waves. Euphoric.

I couldn’t get comfortable. I rolled over onto my stomach, buried my face in my pillow, and laughed and laughed until I didn’t know if I was laughing or screaming.

If I did what Raven said and joined the Order, I’d never see Asher again.

As I drifted off, Raven’s words echoed in my head:
They’re just little pawns in the game
. The last thing I consciously remember thinking of was the wounded look in Devin’s eyes as Asher scooped me up in his arms and we left him standing there on the school roof to repair the damage.

And then the morning breeze rustled my curtains, sweeping a feather along the floorboards. It must have fallen when Asher had been in my room earlier. I watched as the wind blew it here and there, leaping, lightly touching down. Dark, like the night, like Asher’s eyes.

Chapter 26

A
s I pulled into the parking lot Tuesday morning, I was surprised to see Cassie’s green Volvo come to a jerking stop a few spaces over from mine. I got out and walked over to see her slam the driver’s-side door and kick her wheels in frustration.

“Cass!” I called, waving as I approached. “Are you okay?”

She gave me a cold look but didn’t refuse my help as I bent to inspect the tire. “It’s not the tire,” she said. “It’s something with the engine. It’s been giving me trouble the past few days.” She looked away. “Not that you’d know.”

Instantly I felt bad that we hadn’t talked much lately, but I was now too tired and preoccupied to engage her in an argument. Time had been flowing really weirdly, in stop-start patterns, lurching forward and then dragging on for millennia. Besides, we didn’t have a rule that we had to spend every waking minute together, did we?

She locked the car, and we walked to homeroom together. We kept talking, even though it was clear that there was some tension between us that we weren’t mentioning. The fact that she was mad at me annoyed me. The world
always
revolved around her, and the minute I had some major drama in my life, she couldn’t deal with the fact that I wasn’t focused on her.

“It’s so frustrating,” Cassie said as we found our seats. “I just got a tune-up at the beginning of the year. My dad makes me get them, otherwise there’s no way I’d remember. I don’t know what could already be wrong with the engine. It just keeps stalling for no reason.”

“I don’t know, Cass,” I said, aware that Devin was watching us as we sat down, and that Asher caught my eye before glancing away. “Can you take it in again?”

“No way. I totally don’t have the money right now. Ugh, I hate my life.”

“Don’t worry,” I said, determined now to make up for any lost points in the best-friend book so that Cassie would stop being mad at me. “We’ll figure something out.”

The rest of homeroom seemed to last forever. Asher sat behind me, and his nearness sent tiny shivers down my neck, made my heart beat too fast. Devin sat next to him, and I couldn’t stop trying to figure out what was really going on. Could I trust either of them? My mind kept replaying my encounter with Raven the night before.

You’re the reason he’s changing.

I couldn’t understand it.

In the hall after class, Asher caught up with me. “Hey,” he said. We stood there, facing each other.

“What’s up?” I asked, smiling up at him.

“How are you?”

“Good,” I said, though it was an effort to think of the right words to say when he was looking at me. “Last night was . . .”

“Yeah.” He looked like he was either searching for the right words or contemplating kissing me again. I was thrumming, every single fiber of my being alive and happy. “It was intense. A little too intense, actually.”

I jerked away from him as if I’d been slapped.

“What?”

“I just think, you know, we should be careful. Maybe cool it for a little while. I don’t want either of us to lose our focus. This is so important, Skye. It’s bigger than we both know.”

“That’s not what this is about,” I said, my hands beginning to shake. “You’re just scared.”

“That’s not true, Skye. I—”

“No, you’re right,” I said, cutting him off before he could say anything else. “This whole thing was just a giant mistake. We shouldn’t have kissed in the first place.” I could feel tears pricking my eyes, and I tried not to let them spill over.

Whatever I had been feeling for him, whatever I wanted to keep feeling, shriveled within me into a cold, hard pit. And I walked away. As I turned the corner to the staircase, I caught Devin’s eye from where he’d been standing, watching the whole thing.

After school, Devin was waiting by my locker. I was relieved to see Asher was nowhere to be found.

“Hey,” I said as I approached. “Where’s your other half?”

“Indisposed.” He sized me up. “You seemed stressed today. Do you want to go for a walk or something?”

“With you?”

“Yes, of course with me.”

“Um, okay,” I said, wondering if I was walking right into a trap. Raven’s warning echoed in my ears, but she didn’t control me. Devin was sent here to protect me and help figure out what kind of strange powers I might be developing. I couldn’t just stay away from him. Besides, it was nice that he’d noticed I was upset. I needed a friend who understood what I was going through, and at that moment, I felt so far away from Cassie, Dan, Ian, and my normal life.

We ditched my car by the entrance to one of the trails that Aunt Jo always took people out on. It was one of my favorites—well maintained but not too heavily trafficked. It was a nice afternoon. Devin listened as I told him how freaked out I was about everything.

“I don’t get it,” I said, dejectedly kicking a tree branch that had fallen under the weight of a pile of snow. “This isn’t working.” I knew I was being petulant, saying things just to be difficult. “Maybe I’m not as special as you think—maybe I’m really just a normal person after all.”

“Do you really believe that?” Devin asked. “Because I don’t.”

“Yes. No. Probably not.” I bit my lip. “It’s just not going well. None of this.” I paused and snuck a glance at him out of the corner of my eye. “And I don’t know why.”

“He’s impulsive.” I looked up, surprised at his words. “He says and does things without thinking.” Was Devin trying to give me advice? About Asher? “It’s . . . stupid.”

I did something kind of inappropriate. I couldn’t help it.

I laughed.

“What’s so funny?” He looked confused, and then slowly the firm, unwavering line of his mouth broke into a shy smile. “Are you laughing at me?” His smile widened, and then I was smiling and laughing harder.

“Sorry.” I gasped. “Sorry! It’s just, you, trying to give advice . . .”

“Hey,” he said. “I give good advice. That was good, right?”

“Well, it was okay. But you didn’t really tell me what to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“You just commented on something. You didn’t offer any constructive feedback.”

Devin looked thoughtful.

“How can I tell someone what to do?” he asked.

I looked at him. He really was from another planet or something.

“You just say, ‘Skye, suck it up,’ or ‘Skye, stop falling for idiots.’ It won’t work, but hopefully I’ll have learned something for next time.”

“I can’t do that,” Devin said. A note of sadness crept in there somewhere.

“Why not?”

“I can’t tell anyone what to do. I can’t give orders.” It dawned on me what he was saying, and my smile faded. “That’s the Gifteds’ job, not mine.”

“Oh,” I said. “Sorry.”

“It’s certainly not your fault,” he said stiffly. I sighed. How could I get him to laugh again?

I looked at him sideways, thinking.

“So, unlike Asher, you’d never do anything impulsive,” I said.

“Absolutely not. I follow my orders. I never stray from them.”

“What do you do when something unexpected happens?”

“The Gifted can see our destinies so we always know what is going to happen.”

“Soooo . . . you know that I’m going to do this?” I scooped up a mound of snow, quickly packed it into a ball, and hurled it at him.

It broke apart, leaving a burst of snowflakes on his jacket.

He stared at me as though I’d lobbed a fireball at him. “What did you do that for?”

Now it was my turn to stare. “You’ve never been in a snowball fight?”

“Why would I?”

“Uh, because it’s fun?” I gathered up more snow and tossed it at him.

He sidestepped.

“Now you’re getting it.” I attacked again. “Throw some snow at me. Or can you not—if you haven’t been ordered to?” I taunted.

“We can defend ourselves,” he said, slowly breaking into a grin.

“Oh yeah? Show me.”

As he bent down, I took cover behind a tree—which apparently confused him, based on the deep furrow of his brow when he looked up. “Why did you hide?”

“Because we’re at war and my strategy is to hide.”

He dropped the snow he’d been gathering, threw his hands up, and all the snow that had been on the branches above my head cascaded over me. With a shriek, I backpedaled away from the tree.