Fish Out of Water
Authors: MaryJanice Davidson
Fish Out of Water
Maryjanice Davidson
JOVE BOOKS,
THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Penguin Group
Penguin Group (
Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India
Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.)
Penguin Books (
Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand,
FISH OUT OF WATER
A Jove Book / published by arrangement with the author
Copyright © 2008 by MaryJanice Alongi.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
For information, address: The Berkley Publishing Group,
a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.,
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.
ISBN: 1-4406-4022-X
JOVE
®
Jove Books are published by The Berkley Publishing Group,
a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.,
JOVE
®
is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
The “J” design is a trademark belonging to Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Praise for
Swimming Without a Net
“An engaging undersea adventure . . .
Swimming Without a Net
seizes your attention from the very first page. Hang on for a fun-filled ride . . .
Swimming Without a Net
demonstrates why Davidson is considered one of today’s premier paranormal authors. I urge everyone to pick up a copy of this entertaining book at your earliest opportunity. This is a not-to-be-missed, laugh-out-loud adventure. Believe me, you will love this story!”
—
Romance Junkies
“Davidson, the queen of paranormal comedy, has dished up another wickedly funny romp in this follow-up to
Sleeping with the Fishes
.”
—
Booklist
“An entertaining and charming read . . . fast-paced, enjoyable, and at times downright hilarious.”
—
Romance Reviews Today
“A story that will entertain, delight, and enlighten fans of mermaid Fred . . . Fans of Ms. Davidson, rejoice—Fred is back and as sassy as ever!”
—
Fresh Fiction
“Another wacky, amusing romp from MaryJanice Davidson, the queen of this subgenre. The story line is fast-paced but loaded with humor.”
—
“Wonderful . . . Fred is just as fierce and funny as before . . . Davidson makes Fred and her underwater world seem so natural and real, this is a book you can easily enjoy.”
—Rambles.net
“This wildly offbeat series has lots of laughs as well as biting social commentary.”
—
Romantic Times
Praise for
Sleeping with the Fishes
“Ms. Davidson has created another laugh-out-loud, unique paranormal romance series that is bound to take off . . .
Sleeping with the Fishes
has the unique Davidson comic flair that readers have come to love . . . Among the many paranormal romances on the bookshelves,
Sleeping with the Fishes
is a ‘school’ apart!”
—
The Romance Readers Connection
“A zany, amusing fantasy as MaryJanice Davidson provides her trademark wacky, fun tale of the tail . . . Readers will enjoy this delightful, whimsical story.”
—
The Best Reviews
“Davidson certainly knows how to capture the reader’s attention . . . a hilarious romp with a mermaid, a merman, and a human with a Ph.D. that will have you rolling on the floor in laughter . . . funny with a side of danger all rolled into one neat little package.”
—
Romance Reviews Today
“Known for her quirky sense of humor, MaryJanice Davidson launches what promises to be a smashing series with
Sleeping with the Fishes
. This book brought back the magic of first reading something new by this talented author. Her sense of humor and imagination know no bounds . . . pure delight to read from start to finish.”
—
A Romance Review
“Davidson breathes new life into the frequently tired paranormal romance genre with this refreshingly witty entry featuring a decidedly bad-tempered half-mermaid named Fred . . . It will be interesting to see where Davidson goes with this new series.”
—
Monsters and Critics
“Ms. Davidson is royalty in the ranks of paranormal comedy writers. Somehow, she manages to keep up a rapid-fire round of jokes without ever being too silly or skimping on characterization. It will be a fun trip to see how Fred’s life develops in coming novels.”
—
The Eternal Night
“An amusing and sexy new series with a decidedly underwater twist. Employing her patented brand of offbeat humor and lighthearted fun, she serves up a new heroine whose life is about to get extremely complicated.”
—
Romantic Times
“You will spend many an hour just laughing through her books.”*
Praise for the Undead novels of MaryJanice Davidson
“Delightful, wicked fun!”
—Christine Feehan
“A lighthearted vampire pastiche that recalls the work of Charlaine Harris.”
—
“Chick lit meets vampire action in this creative, sophisticated, sexy, and wonderfully witty book.”
—Catherine Spangler
“A laugh-a-minute book.”
—*
Romance Junkies
“Davidson delivers more wildly witty, irreverent, and just plain funny adventures in her patently hilarious style.”
—
Romantic Times
(4½ stars)
“One of the funniest, most satisfying series to come along lately. If you’re [a] fan of Sookie Stackhouse and Anita Blake, don’t miss Betsy
—
The Best Reviews
“I don’t care what mood you are in, if you open this book you are practically guaranteed to laugh . . . top-notch humor and a fascinating perspective of the vampire world.”
—
ParaNormal Romance Reviews
“[A] wickedly clever and amusing romp. Davidson’s witty dialogue, fast pacing, smart plotting, laugh-out-loud humor, and sexy relationships make this a joy to read.”
—
Booklist
Titles by MaryJanice Davidson
UNDEAD AND UNWED
UNDEAD AND UNEMPLOYED
UNDEAD AND UNAPPRECIATED
UNDEAD AND UNRETURNABLE
UNDEAD AND UNPOPULAR
UNDEAD AND UNEASY
UNDEAD AND UNWORTHY
DERIK’S BANE
SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES
SWIMMING WITHOUT A NET
FISH OUT OF WATER
Anthologies
CRAVINGS
(with Laurell K. Hamilton, Rebecca York, Eileen Wilks)
BITE
(with Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, Angela Knight,
Vickie Taylor)
DEAD AND LOVING IT
MYSTERIA
(with P. C. Cast, Gena Showalter, Susan Grant)
DEMON’S DELIGHT
(with Emma Holly, Vickie Taylor, Catherine Spangler)
DEAD OVER HEELS
BERKLEY JAM titles
by MaryJanice Davidson and Anthony Alongi
JENNIFER SCALES AND THE ANCIENT FURNACE
JENNIFER SCALES AND THE MESSENGER OF LIGHT
THE SILVER MOON ELM: A JENNIFER SCALES NOVEL
For William Alongi: father, grandfather, husband, brother, uncle, friend. Things aren’t as exciting without all the grumbling, big guy.
And for Cindy Hwang, who, in the face of enormous personal tragedy, never once lost her kindness, humor, skill, empathy, or professionalism.
As Andrew Vacchs, the finest writer of noir fiction in the twenty-first century and tireless champion of the helpless, once said (and I’m paraphrasing), “If love died with death, this world wouldn’t be so hard.”
That’s just right, sir. That is 100 percent correct.
Acknowledgments
This is the last book of the Fred the mermaid trilogy; the other two are
Sleeping with the Fishes
and
Swimming Without a Net
. (There’s also a mermaid novella in my anthology
Dead Over Heels
, which takes place just before the events of this book.)
Although Betsy the vampire queen made me semi-famous (infamous? delusionally famous?), I actually thought up Fred long before I ever wrote
Undead and Unwed
. So it’s a little strange to me that I’m putting paid to Fred while Betsy goes on and on and on.
(“And on,” the critics added snidely, “and on, and on.”)
Well, hell. She
is
a vampire. And that’s what they do, I s’pose. Fred, however, is mortal.
Anyway, I wanted to thank Cindy Hwang, my editor, for going along with my idea for a grumpy mermaid, and for never asking, “What, exactly, is wrong with you?” At least, not out loud.
My agent, Ethan Ellenberg, for making the deal happen.
Leis Pederson, who catches many of my boneheaded mistakes and never gets the credit.
My Yahoo! group, for their support.
Charlaine Harris and her fan group, three of whom dressed as Fred, Dr. Bimm, and Jonas for the
Romantic Times
2008 convention, forcing me to pretend my eyes were leaking because of allergies.
And, always, my friends and family, for tirelessly listening to my near-constant bitching.
MaryJanice Davidson
www.maryjanicedavidson.net
Author’s Note