A Beautiful Forever (28 page)

He leans in and kisses me, resting his other hand gently on
our daughter’s tiny head, “I love you Paige. Thank you so much for giving me a
daughter.”

“I love you too. But we made her together, she's a gift for
the both of us. ”

A happy Grace is gripping tightly onto my fingers as I hold
her on my knees and bounce her up down. She smiles broadly; her two tiny teeth
in the middle of her bottom gums are absolutely adorable as she gurgles and
grins.

“Who’s Daddy’s little girl,” I ask as she cranes her neck in
an attempt to chew on my finger.

“Watch those teeth,” Paige warns from beside me, smiling as
she wiggles her finger in the middle of Grace’s stomach, causing her to erupt
in a fit of baby giggles. “They are very sharp.”

Suddenly Grace’s laughter turns to whining and we both shush
her as Paige reaches out for her. “She’s getting tired,” she announces settling
Grace against her chest to feed her to sleep. Watching the way my wife is with
my daughter, I feel a great swell of love for the both of them, greater than I
ever thought I was capable of feeling.

I look out the window of the plane and can see nothing but
clouds blanketing the sky. We’ve decided it’s time to return to Australia. I
really want Grace to grow up in the sand and the surf just like I did. I’ve
loved living in the UK, but Australia is and always will be my home and now
that the two girls I love most in this world are coming back with me, I won’t
ever have to live anywhere else again.

I slide my shirt closed as Grace’s mouth falls away from my
chest and position her more comfortably as she sleeps. Elliot reaches over and
slips a blanket over her tiny body and kisses me on the side of the head.

I’m really nervous about going home to Australia, but I know
it’s the right place for us to be. Elliot has his whole family there, as well
as all of his friends and I agree that Grace should get to grow up the same way
her daddy did, and we’ll travel back to the UK occasionally so she can see her
grandparents there.

I have really appreciated the time I spent in the UK because
not only did I find Elliot, but I got a chance to get to know my mother and
father. My relationship with them is never going to be fantastic because I
still have all of those bad memories from long ago, but at least now I can put
them aside and move on with my life, and I can use them to make sure that my
own family is treated well.

Elliot is the most magnificent husband and father; he's
always taking care of me and is so enamoured with Grace that he already talks
about having more children together.

Through my therapy, I have realised that the only way I'm
ever going to heal is to let myself love and be loved. Now that we’re married
and have a family, Elliot and I have vowed to be connected to each other
forever.

As I rest my head on his shoulder, he reaches over and hooks
his finger under my chin to tilt my head up and kiss me, my head swims slightly
as we pull away from each other.

“I love you Paige Roberts,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” I say, filled with more happiness than I
ever hoped to have in my life time.

He lifts the arm rest between our seats and puts his arm
around me, resting his other hand lightly on the body of our daughter, sleeping
soundly in the crook of my left arm. I lightly touch the band of vine and
script that’s tattooed around his forearm, featuring both, mine and Grace’s
names. I have a matching one on my wrist for him and Grace. We felt that since
I had marked my body to remind me of all the things I didn’t want to be again,
we should both mark ourselves, to remind ourselves we’re in this life together,
forever and that’s all that matters to me anymore.

When the captain’s voice comes over the speakers, we’re told
that we’re only an hour away from landing in Sydney, my stomach starts dancing
about inside me, I’m sure it spends a little time up in my chest as well,
dancing around with my thudding heart.

“You ok?” Elliot asks.

“I’m just nervous. I've only met your mum a couple of times,
and now we’re going to be staying with her for god knows how long. I’m just
nervous is all,” I say, rambling slightly.

“You’ll be fine, Paige. She loves you. You have nothing to
worry about,” he assures me.

I breathe out slowly, trying to calm myself as I wait to
touch down and start a whole new life with my husband and child.

As we move towards the baggage claim, I leave Paige watching
the conveyor belt while I go and get a trolley to hold our bags. She looks
nervous; it's actually kind of sweet. She's always so tough in life but the
very thought of staying with my mother and possibly not being liked by her has
got her all worked up. She doesn’t need to worry though, my mum already thinks
she’s amazing, so does my step father Steve.

After loading our bags on the trolley, we follow the flow of
people outside to find my mother waving frantically at us in the pick up only
line of cars. She rushes towards us and envelopes us both in a cloud of hugs
and kisses before hurrying us towards the car, so she doesn’t get in trouble
for taking too long.

Before we know it, we’re on our way, I’m in front sitting
next to mum who’s driving, and Paige is in the back with Grace all clipped into
her car seat.

“Mum, thanks so much for getting everything organised for
Grace, it’s really great of you.”

“Elliot, don’t be silly, it’s my pleasure, and I have to
admit a little selfish of me. If I have everything ready for her, then I can
pinch her whenever I want,” she laughs.

“Good luck with that mum,” I laugh.

“What you’re not going to let me take my granddaughter every
now and then?” she teases.

“Of course you can take her out with you,” says Paige from
the back seat, getting in some ‘good daughter-in-law’ points.

“Thank you Paige,” my mother smiles, poking her tongue out
at me like a child. I laugh as I let my head lay against the seat, tired from
the trip, but so glad to be home.

The car ride lulls Grace off to sleep and when we arrive at
Elliot’s mother’s house, a large brown brick, two storey home in Westmead, near
Parramatta, I’m happy to let Kathy take her from me and place her in the cot
she has set up ready for her.

I practically collapse onto the couch next to Elliot. You'd
think we would be sick of sitting but after a whole day of travel, we’re both
too exhausted to move. We just need to make it until dinner time before we can
safely close our eyes to ward off jet lag.

Kathy returns with the receiver for a baby monitor in hand
and places it on the coffee table, offering us something to drink. She bustles
about in the kitchen for a bit and brings in a tray laden with coffees and
slices of cake.

As I take a sip of the coffee I’m grateful for the
nourishment, the cake tastes wonderful, it’s a simple madeira cake but
everything tastes different from the food in the UK, and I realise how much
I’ve missed it.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I've invited friends and family
around for a bit of a BBQ this weekend. I wanted to celebrate you coming home
and introduce Paige and Grace to everybody,” my mother says, clasping her hands
in front of her and looking at us earnestly.

We’ve been at her house for maybe ten minutes, and she’s
already dropped this bombshell on us. I reach my hand over and rest it on
Paige’s knee. She seems a bit frightened by all of this family attention.

“I don’t know mum,” I start. “We just got off the plane, and
Grace won’t be used to the time change yet…” I was trying to think of some sort
of excuse to get out of this. I know my mum is excited, but Paige has been on
her own for so long – that many people may be too much for her.

“Oh,” she says, looking down trodden, “I just thought…”

“It’s fine Kathy, if you’ve already invited everyone, it’s
fine,” Paige interrupts. I look at her briefly, having one of those facial
expression conversations with her to make sure she’s fine.

As much as I don’t want to be bombarded with so many people,
I know I have to meet them all eventually – it can’t stay just me, Elliot and
Grace forever, no matter how much I’d like it to.

Elliot keeps looking at me, trying to make sure I’m ok. He
understands how hard I worked just to be on a first-name basis with my own
mother and father without feeling anger and resentment every time I look at
them. So he’s worried that having all of his supportive family and friends
around me might be hard for me.

I try to give him my best, ‘I’ll be fine!” smile as Kathy
says, “Really? Oh thank you Paige, they’ll all love you, and of course, they’ll
love Grace!” she exclaims.

“I’m sure I’ll love them too Kathy, thanks for going to so
much trouble for us,” I smile at her. Elliot’s arm goes protectively around me
as he hugs me towards him.

At that moment Grace’s cries burst out of the monitor. “I’ll
go and get her,” Elliot says rising from the couch. He returns quickly handing
Grace to his mother, who is more than eager to accept her. I smile at Kathy’s
easy loving nature. She is such a kind woman, and I’m actually looking forward
to spending more time with her.

“Mum, do you mind watching Grace for a bit while we get
settled into our room?” Elliot asks.

“Of course! I think I might just keep her,” Kathy replies,
focused only on playing with Grace while she squeals and giggles from her
grandmother’s attentions.

I go and help Elliot with our bags and drag them to his old
room, when he opens the door, I breathe out a little as I take it all in. “Wow,
you weren’t kidding about the collage,” I say, as my eyes travel over a large
cork board covered with every single photo we took together that first three
months in the UK.

His arm goes up as he rubs sheepishly at the back of his
head, “Is it too much?”

Laughing, I shake my head. “Elliot, my whole flat had framed
photos of us together. I love this. Can we take it with us when we find our own
place?”

He walks over to me and slides his arms around my waist
pulling me towards him. “Of course,” he whispers, closing the distance and
kissing me softly. I whimper slightly as his tongue slides against my own, I
don’t think I could ever be tired of kissing this man in front of me.

Sighing, he rests his forehead against my own. “Are you sure
you’re ok about this BBQ? I don’t want to bombard you with a bunch of strangers
trying to hug and kiss you.”

I slip my arms through his and pull myself tightly against
his chest, resting my head on his shoulder. “I’ll be fine, Elliot, as long as
they don’t use tongue – I think I’ll cope.”

Sighing, he gives me squeeze. “Alright, as long as you’re
sure…Do you want to grab a shower at all?” he asks releasing me.

“Why? Do I stink?” I laugh.

A grin creeps over his face as he winks at me. “ A little,”
he says.

I slap him good naturedly on the arm as we laugh, and he
pretends I hurt him. He shows me where the bathroom is and leaves me to clean
up. The thought of a hot shower is heaven right now. Besides a little extra
cuddle time with my husband, I’d love nothing more than to wash all of the
travel grime away.

After leaving Paige in the bathroom, I walk back out to the
lounge room where my mother is walking around with Grace, showing her pictures
on the wall and talking about them. Grace is rapt. She's either grabbing at my
mum’s face or trying to pull the pictures down with her chubby little baby
hands as she coos out her response to my mother’s chatter.

“Oh look, it’s daddy!” my mother says to Grace, who claps
her little baby hands and beams at me. The moment I get close she reaches out,
so I take her off my mum and bounce her against my side, while she plays with
my ear and drools all over my shoulder.

“Is Paige ok?” my mother asks.

“She’s fine. She's just taking a shower.”

“I’m sorry about the BBQ. Everyone is just so excited you’re
home.”

“It’s fine mum. I just didn’t know how Paige would react.
She's never really done a big friends and family BBQ before. Remember her
upbringing was a bit different to mine?”

“I know and I didn’t think. Will she be ok?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine mum. It'll be fun,” I say, hoping
that it will.  

Today is the day of the big BBQ, Elliot and his step dad,
Steven went out early this morning and came back with a mountain of meat and
bags of ice.

I spent the morning in the kitchen with Kathy helping to
prepare salads and platters for nibbles. I’ve never been a part of a big family
BBQ before, not even when I was a kid. Besides it being a little daunting,
meeting everyone who is anyone to Elliot and his mother, I’m kind of looking
forward to it.

After all, this is the reason we came back to Australia to
give Grace the great Aussie upbringing like Elliot had.

“Lucky you have such a big back yard!” I exclaim to Kathy as
we start to lay the food on some fold out tables.

She laughs a little as she surveys the food. “I may have
gotten a little carried away with the invite list.” Turning to me, a look of
concern on her face, she takes my hands in hers. “Paige, I know this is a lot
for you to take in, but I want you to know how excited I am that Elliot has
you. I have never seen him happier. Plus, I really want to show you off. You're
such a special girl, and I’ve always secretly wanted a daughter you know.”

Tears prickle the back of my eyes as her words touch me.
“Thank you Kathy… that means a lot.”

She pulls me towards her and gives me a quick hug, releasing
me when we hear Grace start to call out over the baby monitor.

“Can I go and get her?” Kathy asks me with a hopeful look on
her face. As much as I want to go and get my daughter myself, I nod my head and
let Kathy go in. Grace is lucky to have a grandmother that cares so much about
her. My own mother has been present in her life so far, but there is always an
awkwardness present between us that I don’t think will ever go away. With
Kathy, it’s different. She's always been a loving person towards her son and is
naturally loving towards both myself and Grace. I guess we’re both lucky to
have her.