A Beautiful Forever (26 page)

Driving to the flat is kind of surreal after being back in
Sydney, but it feels like I’m going home. The big letdown is that Paige won’t
be there, but I feel so sure that I’ll find her. I realised on the plane that
she would have needed to find another job, and that means she would most likely
have used Andrea as a reference.

The first thing I do after setting down my bags and saying a
quick hello to all the house mates, is hand over the bag of Tim Tams I brought
with me and then take a walk to Stylz.

It’s almost lunch time, and I’m so close to finishing the
extensions in my client’s hair. This has been a very labour intensive morning,
and I’m looking forward to the half hour I get to eat and sit down. I’m working
with three other stylists today, and we’re booked fairly solid all day long so
besides my break. I won’t be getting much time to rest my legs.

Finally finished with the extensions, I style my client’s
hair to blend in the new hair in with the old. The sound of the blow dryer
muffles the voice of Brooke, one of the other stylists, as she speaks to me.

“Paige!” she calls over the top of it.

I shut the dryer off so I can hear her. “Sorry,” I say
turning to face her. “What’s u– ”  I don’t need her to tell me because he’s the
only thing I can see when I look up. I shove the dryer into Brooke’s hand and
mumble something about needing to do something incredibly vague.

Wrapping my cardigan around my middle, I walk towards him,
not entirely certain that this isn’t some sort of dream.

“You’re here!” I exclaim, not really sure what else to say.
I want to jump into his arms and kiss him, but I don’t know if I can.

Paige is standing in front of me, staring at me like I’m
some kind of apparition. “I really thought you’d be harder to find,” I tell
her. “One quick conversation with Andrea and here I am.”

She looks me up and down, her arms wrapped around her waist
defensively. “Here you are.”

I hold out my hand to her, craving her touch. “Can we go and
talk?” I ask gently. She looks at my hand like she did that time on the plane,
like she’s really unsure as to whether she should take it or not. Just like I
did six months ago I tell her, “I’m not going to bite.”

She keeps one arm round her waist as she slips the other one
in my hand. The moment we touch again I get this charge travelling through my
body that reignites the life that I've felt lacking since I left her here.

I've become all heady being near him, and I can’t really
think straight. I'm just kind of following along blindly behind him, not
questioning where we’re going.

“Stop!” I say suddenly snapping myself out of it.

“What? What’s the problem?”

“What are we doing? Why are you here?” I ask. The last thing
I expected this morning was to see him. This is all so surreal; I don’t know
how to act, or what to say.

He stops and takes a step towards me, hooking his finger
under my chin and tilting my head towards him. “I’m here for you,” he whispers
as he brushes his lips against mine, shivers run through my body as I forget
what I did to him and my guard falls away. I whimper a little against his mouth
as I part my lips and allow his tongue access. Oh, how I’ve missed the feel of
him in my mouth! The taste of his tongue as it slides sensuously with mine! I
reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my body against him as want
takes over my senses.

I’m lost in the sensation of her mouth as I pull her closer
to me, our bodies meld together, and I can’t help but notice a … bump? My eyes
pop open and I immediately stop kissing.

Staring at Paige’s face as she slowly opens her eyes I slide
my hands around to her waist and over the firm mound that is now where her flat
stomach used to be. Her eyes widen as she jumps away from me and wraps her
cardigan back around her waist, trying to cover up.

I shake my head, “No, no, no, do
not
cover that up.”

She releases her cardigan, and it
falls either side of her protruding bump. I look from it to her, pointing at it
as I ask, “At what point, were you planning on telling me about
that!?”

Her lip starts quivering and her
eyes fill with tears, “I…I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want you to feel
like you had to come back. It doesn’t have to be your problem.”

“What!? How can you say that? How
could you keep this from me? This is
my child
-right?” I glare at her,
still pointing at her stomach. She squeezes her eyes shut and tears start to
roll down her face as she nods quickly.

“Yes it’s yours,” she barely even
whispers.

I stand there and glare at her, trying to think of what to
say without ruining everything completely, feeling so hurt and angry right now.

I close my eyes and press the pads of my thumb and index
fingers against them, “What time do you finish work?” I say as calmly as I can.

“Six,” she answers.

“Alright,” I say as I nod my head and walk away from her. I
need some time to deal with this. I need some time to calm down.

“Elliot!” she calls after me. I shake my head without
turning around. “I’m sorry!” she calls after me. I put my hands on my head, it
seems to be the only thing I can do right now to stop it from exploding. What
the hell just happened?

He’s waiting for me when I walk out of the salon, standing
up against the wall with a stormy look on his face. I don’t say anything to
him, I just stand in front of him, then incline my head to tell him to come
with me.

He walks beside me with his hands in his pockets and his
brows tightly knit together. As we get into my car, we still haven’t spoken and
continue on that way until we arrive at my flat. I let us in through the front
door and hang my bag and keys up by the door, before leading the way to the
living area where he pauses, looking around quietly.

I move about the kitchen preparing some tea and sandwiches.
I don’t drink coffee at the moment, and since it’s usually only me or my mother
and Daniel, tea is all I have.

When I walk out holding the tray, he looks up at me, a
framed photo of he and I together in his hand.

“Is it strange that I have them up?” I ask him as he places
the frame back on the bookcase and moves quickly to take the tray from my
hands.

Shaking his head he says, “You should have seen the wall in
my bedroom while I was home. I had this whole collage thing going on.” Giving
me a sad smile, he carries the tray over to the coffee table in front of the
couch and sets it down.

He clears his throat, “This is all very English of you,” he
points out, as we sit next to each other on the couch. I laugh a little through
my nose and take a sip of tea, enjoying the warmth of the liquid as it slides
down my throat. I don’t know what to say, I finally have him here with me, and
I’m really not sure how to act. I want everything to be exactly how it was
before. I want to touch him, kiss him, be with him. But instead I’m sitting
here, sipping tea.

“When were you going to tell me Paige?”

I place my mug back on the tray and turn towards him,
meeting his eyes. “Soon, Elliot, I was going to tell you soon.”

“How soon? Tomorrow? When the baby was born? When it was 20
and came looking for me? When?”

“Elliot, I understand that you’re upset with me, I haven’t
handled things very well between us at all. But please understand that I didn’t
want you to feel obligated to come back to me. If you were going to do it - I
wanted you to do it on your own. I was going to tell you very soon, I was just…
waiting, I guess.”

“So you were testing me?” he asks.

“No… I don’t know. I just needed to know that you weren’t
with me solely for the sake of the baby, I needed to know that if you came back
it was because it was me you wanted. I didn’t want to trap you.”

“Why wouldn’t you at least talk to me? You’ve shut me out
for months Paige.”

“I wanted to Elliot. I wanted to talk to you; I even went to
see you at the airport before you left – but I was too late. After that, I
spoke to you once, but you were drunk – do you remember that? You yelled at me,
told me that you were coming back, and that I had to deal with it, then you
hung up on me.”

He frowned, looking slightly confused, “I don’t remember
that part,” he says, “I remember calling you. I remember you saying you loved
me, but I don’t remember what happened after that. I’m sorry for yelling at
you.”

“No Elliot, I deserved to be yelled at, but after that, I
thought that I should give you time away from me, to sort out how you really
feel. When we’re together, for me - it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t
even exist, I can ignore all the shit in my life – pretend it’s not even there,
and it’s wonderful.” I rub my hands over my face, “God, I’m not explaining
myself very well – I… I didn’t contact you because you’re all I can think
about, and I needed to deal with my own crap for a little while… I’m sorry… I’m
just really sorry it’s all played out like this.”

“Paige. I want to make something very clear right now – I
love you, I came back for
you
. I haven’t been able to think of anyone
but you; do you understand that?”

“Elliot I – “

“Don’t, I’m not finished Paige. I need you to understand
that I am with you no matter what. I need you to stop making decisions for me.
I need you to let me in- to trust me. I have chosen you Paige, you – and
nothing is going to change my mind. The fact that we have made a baby together
blows my mind. I am angry with you because if you had trusted me in the first
place, we would have gone through this entire pregnancy together, but as it is,
I have already missed, what? Half of it? That’s so unfair Paige, I get that you
needed time to get your head right – but this is
our
baby we’re talking
about here.”

“I’m sorry Elliot! I’m so, so sorry. I know now that I
should have trusted you, I should have told you the truth, I should have told
you everything about me long before it was time for you to leave. But I was so
scared that once you found out about Phoenix that you wouldn’t love me anymore,
I didn’t think anyone could ever love me after everything I’ve done. I was
selfish, and I just wanted as much time with you as I could get before I told
you the truth. I thought it would chase you away. I thought you’d hate me for
what I was.”

“Do you know what I hate Paige? I hate that you got put in
the situation where all of those things happened to you. I hate that your
parents didn’t fight for you. I hate that you have had to deal with everything
on your own, and I
hate
that you thought no one could love you because
of it.”

“I know I’ve hurt you, and I feel like I’ve ruined
everything for us Elliot. Can you ever forgive me?”

She’s sitting next to me, pleading with me to forgive her
and the fact of the matter is, I would forgive her anything. I really do love
her that much. I reach over and tenderly touch the swell of her stomach,
noticing how she closes her eyes, likes she’s been longing for me to touch her
for longer than I’ve even wanted to.

“I came back for you,” I say again as I gently brush my
fingertips over her cheek and lean in to kiss her. The moment our lips meet,
I’m overwhelmed with need and longing as I pull her closer to me until she's in
my lap, straddling me.

It’s like all the time apart from each other just falls away
as our mouths move zealously together, and I’m right back where I was. I need
this woman. I need her like I need air to breathe, and I’ll be damned if I ever
let her go again.

I stand up, carrying her with her legs wrapped around my
middle. “Bedroom,” I say breathless between kisses. She points to a door next
to the kitchen, and I carry her in there, kissing her all the way. I don’t want
to lose the connection our bodies have right now.

She lowers her legs once I cross the threshold of her room
and starts to slide my shirt up, urging me to take it off. I comply and lift if
over my head, dropping it on the floor where we stand. Running her hands over
my torso, she plants soft kisses over my pecs and along my jaw.

I reach up and pull the clip from her hair, my chest
constricting as I watch it fall around her shoulders in a mass of twisted
curls.

“God, you’re beautiful,” I breathe before I crash my mouth
into hers, devouring her, breathing her in. I slide her cardigan down her arms
until it drops at her feet and then lift her singlet. She raises her arms as I
slide it up her body, delighting in the feel of her skin as my hands brush her
body, and fling it over my shoulder.

His eyes travel over my torso and land on my swollen
breasts. “Whoa,” he says, reaching around me to unhook my bra with deft fingers.
I let it slide down my arms to the floor and watch Elliot’s face as he takes in
my changed body.

Starting at my waist, he slides his hands gently over each
breast, kissing me lightly as he travels down my body, dropping to his knees.
With feather light fingers he touches the swell of my belly and peppers my bump
with kisses.

My heart aches with the love I have for this man, I marvel
that the fates saw fit to bring him to me – I never, not even for a moment
thought I would ever have this, but here it is right in front of me, hooking
his fingers into the waist of my pants as he slides them down my legs and
guides me, so I’m lying on the bed in front of him.

Dipping his head down, he flicks his tongue over my clit,
causing me to gasp out. His eyes meet mine for a moment as he moans and dives
his mouth between my legs, sucking and swirling his tongue around my clit,
filling my body with a flood of orgasmic energy. I’m already on the edge when
his fingers enter me, the sensations of his fingers sliding over my tender
flesh cause me to burst, my body automatically thrusts my hips around his
mouth, and I clutch at his hair, gripping tighter than I should as I yell out,
over and over.