A Beautiful New Life (15 page)

“Why?” She sobbed. “Why has no one come looking for me?
If I had a child...
Why?”

He did not know why. He did not understand
how she was feeling
. He never lost his memory. He played the game for his survival. He longed to see his mom and dad
,
and little sister but fate had led him here for a reason
. W
hen he realized she was the reason he could not leave.
Now he stayed more out of love than fate and h
e would see this through
to the end; whatever the
end may
be.

For weeks, since the little boy, Megan was having thoughts and images of what she hoped were memories of her old life.
Michael was afraid that one day the flood gates would open and she would remember everything. That day would not be a good day but a day that would come no doubt. He hid the knowledge he had of this place to ensure her safety. He only knew how he got here and assumed her story was similar. He also knew they would never let her leave. For this
reason,
he had to do something about how her memories came out. Most of all he had to be careful about how he did it.

He had tried explaining to her the reason for her flashbacks but she could not understand what he was saying about another life. She always knew there was something in her past but her accident made it impossible for her to remember.
S
he could not understand or she did not want to believe that this was not an accident.

She kept a journal
as
Dr. Howe had told her to do.
However,
when Michael found out, he insisted she not share it with the doctor
like
they had asked her. H
e told her not to keep a journal or
if she felt she should because the doctor expected one,
to make the stories far from what her
dreams really
where. When Megan disagreed with him hoping the doctor would be able to help piece her past together, he told her he had something that he hoped would explain everything.
She
had to promise not to react. He begged her if he went through with this that she had to promise to be strong. The consequences for both of them would be dire if she reacted in the wrong way.

“I promised you that I would help you but only when the time was right.” He stood in front of her
,
his hands on her shoulders. “Here let’s sit down.” He pulled her down to the couch. He pulled a box out from his jacket pocket.

Her hands were shaking. In
them,
she held the small square box Michael had handed her. It was plain white with a sticker on the side she touched each word as she read them.
“Louise Gilab, AKA Megan Strauss.
Louise Gilab, I know that name.”

She opened the box carefully, slowly. Her hands were shaking. The lid came off a little too easy and she quickly closed her eyes. Was she ready for whatever there was to see? She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and opened her eyes. The tears flowed and the sobs came uncontrollably. You hear when people die their lives flash before their eyes. Louise knew she was not dead but her life before Megan came flooding back.

Her precious boys;
the first thing in the box was a picture of her boys. She remembers taking this picture at the beach. How many summers ago was that? It was her favorite picture of them and she always carried it with her even though they were a few years older now. She missed them so much, her heart aching, she wanted to cry out. How could she have ever forgotten them, they were her everything. She sat on the bed holding the picture to her heart, sobbing.

She did not know how long she had sat there; her shirt was soaked with tears. She looked at the picture again, burning it into her mind. She swore that no matter what
,
she would not forget them again. She looked at the other items in the box and now realized this was her box of
some of her
personal items that she had on her when
she was at the resort
.
Tucked neatly in the box were h
er driver’s license, fifty dollars cash, a lone key,
car
keys, and her wedding ring. How was Arlin handling all of this? Had he given up on finding her?
She had forgotten about Arlin
,
about being married.

She now remembered the last night they had spent together before she had left for the resort. He had taken her in his arms; his eyes were full of sorrow.
She wondered now if he had had a sense that something would go wrong.
The
guilt now took over, how could she have betrayed him like that? Her relationship with Michael will now have to
end
. A fresh wave of tears started to flow again as she
realized,
as Megan she had fallen in love with Michael and as Louise she will have to let him go. She only hoped
Michael
would understand and continue to help her.

Michael had told her he would have to return the box by
that
afternoon
but s
he was not ready to let go of it yet. All she wanted was to sit there all day and just look at those precious faces. She had to get back to them. Did they miss her? What did they think happened to her? A fresh wave of tears started to flow again as she felt their hearts break at the word of her disappearance. No matter what it
took,
she was going to get back to them. She had to be smart about this and do it right. If they had went to such extremes to erase her memory of her past life they would surely kill her before letting her even attempt to escape. As much as she wanted to leave now
,
she needed to know
more about what this place was and what resistance she could come up against when she left.
Michael had been right to warn her. She will be ready, not to react but to act when the time was right. She put everything back in the box and handed it back to Michael.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He had sat patiently in the chair across the room from her while she looked through the box knowing that it had all coming flooding back to her. She did not speak but got up from the couch and went into the bathroom. She stood there holding the cold cloth to her face. She took deep breathes to calm herself before she spoke.

“Did you know all along?” She walked out of the bathroom and sat back on the couch.

“Yes and no.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know how I got here and I know why they kept me here. But I didn’t know how or why you’re here?”

“So is Michael Dawson your real name?”

“No. My real name is Jordan Kohl.”

“Jordan Kohl. You look more like a Jordan than a Michael.” She laughed. “I don’t really remember how I got here but I think it had something to do with the resort I stayed at prior to finding myself here.
They tried brainwashing me but I fought against them. Arlin used to get mad at me for all the books I read but it was because of those books that I recognized what they were trying to do to me. They came for me one day and I knew it was not going to end well for me.
”
She ran to the bathroom and vomited in the toilet. “Vince, I knew it.”

“What about Vince?” Michael was there hold
ing
her hair and rubbing her back.

“When I was having my nightmares, they weren’t just dreams after all. They were my memories coming back. Vince tried to rape me.” She leaned her back against the tub and thought back to that dreadful day that she now remembers so well.

“They use
d
electric shock therapy.”

The word shock sent chills up her spine. “
I remember owing Betty so much for being there for me.
S
he is one of them. What is this place?
”

“I don’t know for sure. I stumbled upon the place by accident and saw something I
shouldn’t
have. I probably could have a left but something was pulling me to stay. I saw you at the resort and knew I was here to help you.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner to me?”

“Megan, you have to understand, you had no memory at all of your past life. Do you really think you would have understood what
I’m
telling you now? Even with the pictures you may not have remembered.”

“But I was getting my memory back. I was having those dreams.”

“Yes and you went to the doctors. I suspect they used electroshock therapy on you again. That is why your dreams went away.”

She fiddled with her hand and felt the lump. “This lump in my hand, you said it was scar tissue. I remember
when I tried to leave that room they held me
in
I
crush
ed
my hand
when the door slammed on it
. Is that what it is from?”

“You have to understand why I couldn’t tell you earlier. No,
it’s
not from your broken hand.
It’s
not scar tissue; it’s some type of chip. We all have one.”
He got up from the chair and sat next to her on the couch.
He put his hand in hers so she could feel the same lump in his hand.

“What is it for and why is it in your hand? Why not somewhere that is wasn’t so noticeable?”

“
It has a double usage. I
t is a GPS tracking chip so they know where you are at all times. So
they can find anyone if they try to escape. It is also used as a way letting you know when you meet people that they know they are part of the organization.” He put his hand into hers as you would when meeting someone knew. “See you can feel it.”
She let go of his hand and just shook her head. This was too much information for her to wrap her head around; but there was one more thing she needed to know.

“Did you know I was married?” She saw the look in his eyes as she said it and already knew the answer.

“No, I didn’t. I really don’t know much about you other than from what I know of you here.” He reached out to her but she pulled away.

“I can’t, I’m sorry. It was wrong for us to get into a relationship. I’m sorry.” She tried to be sincere but she, or Megan was in love with Michael or rather Jordan.
As much as she needed to feel his arms around her right now, to feel his strength and want his protection, s
he fought
hard
not fall in
to
his arms.

“I understand, really I do. I still want to help you, help both of us to get out of here. Will you be okay with that…me being your friend?” She could hear the hurt in his words
and it tore at her as she thought about the
man she came to know
and love
and the
memories of the
man she had forg
o
t
ten
.

“Yes I’d like to be your friend. We can no longer be anything more.” She reached for his hand and w
hen he pulled her into his arms, she allowed him to comfort her as
she cried for the lives she had lost.

Chapter
Fourteen

She had lay awake long after Jordan had left. He had wanted to stay but she would not allow him. He offered to sleep on the couch saying he would worry about her. Now sitting
up in bed
the next morning she wished she had let him stay. She needed to find out about this place and between the two of them they would shut it down. First thing was first though. She had to get to work. She got out of bed. The cold shower did wonders to make her alert. She dressed and walked to work hoping the cool air and extra time would allow her to clear her head so she could fake her way through this day.  One thing that she did not understand was how they keep
people from ever leaving
, h
ow
they chose them, how they get them
,
and probably most importantly
,
why? Louise was not going to be a victim; she was too strong for that. She had to find the answers before attempting to leave.

She got to work and made her way to her computer. Mark was there waiting for her. She was not in the mood to deal with him today. She detoured to the restroom where she took a deep breath, planted the picture of her kids in her mind, and made her way to her desk to face Mark.

“Good morning Mark.” Her being nice was not enough anymore since she had moved out of the dorm. He harassed her every moment he could. She was thankful for Edith who had more than once rescued her from him and as she thought of her now she walked
up to her desk
.

“I just stopped by to say good morning. I’ll see
ya
later.” He hastily walked off toward the exit.

“What did he want?”