A Chance at Love (9 page)

T
hat afternoon, I headed down to the church to finally meet Emily. With weeks of conversations and only the sound of her voice in my ear, she had stolen my heart, and I wanted the truth. Part of me felt that I deserved it, while the other part feared what the secret could be. The late January air was still a bit chilly outside as I got out of the car in the church parking lot, but that didn’t keep the sweat from pouring off of me.

My eyes focused on the front doors of the church.
This is it
, I thought to myself as I shut my driver side door. Walking across the slushed snow and water mixture in the parking lot, I made my way up to the church doors.

Placing my trembling hand on the handle, I thought to myself,
you sure you want to do this? She isn’t going to be happy, and you’re probably not going to enjoy this secret.
Giving myself a confirming nod, I yanked open the door and went inside.

Hearing commotion from in the sanctuary, I walked over to the window that looked in. When my eyes fell on Emily, my heart fluttered.

“Kyle,” a man said behind me, startling me. Turning around, I saw that it was Tom.

“Hey.”

He looked behind me over my shoulder and smiled. Looking back at me, he said, “I didn’t expect to see you again.”

“What? Why? I’m here to see Emily.”

“So you’re okay with it?”

“Okay with what?” I asked, glancing over into the sanctuary.

He raised an eyebrow and said in a soft tone, “She hasn’t told you—”

“Told me what?” I interrupted.

He shook his head and said, “I’m staying out of it.” Turning, he went down the hallway. Following after him, I caught up to his side and grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Just go into the sanctuary. I’m not going to be the one that tells you.” He shooed my grasp away and left me in the hall.

My heart began to pound as I went back down the hall toward the sanctuary. What is it? Will I be able to handle it? I began to pray for God to help me with my failing strength.

Opening the sanctuary door, I went inside and walked the aisle. “I just want to watch.”

“Kyle?” Emily said from the stage.

“Hey, Emily . . .” I said with a shaken and worried voice. “I couldn’t wait anymore. I think I love you.”

Her eyes began to water.

“Hey, guys, let’s take a break,” one guy said to the other cluster of kids on stage. They all left and went around a wall behind the stage.

Continuing down the aisle, I approached Emily as she stayed on the stage. “I’m sorry if you’re upset with me. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t want to wait. I’m falling for you, and I have so many emotions that are going through me. Not just right now, but every single day, Emily.”

As I came up the stage stairs, she interrupted me. “I’m blind!”

My eyes immediately focused on her eyes. The room fell completely silent. Her emerald green eyes looked blankly out into the room, but they appeared normal from what I could see. “You can’t see anything?”

She quickly shook her head as I came up to her. She dipped her chin into her palms and began to cry. “You can just leave now. I understand if you can’t do this.”

My pounding heart wasn’t pounding anymore. Instead, it fluttered, and a peace and calmness was over me. I wasn’t upset. Placing my hands onto hers, I felt a surge of warmth shoot up through my fingertips. Pulling her hands gently away from her face, I held each of her hands in mine and said, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Really.” Releasing one of her hands, I brushed a strand of loose hair away from her cheek and then rubbed a stray tear away as I cupped her cheek in my hand. She leaned into it and smiled as she kissed my hand.

“You’re too good for me,” she said.

“No, you deserve the best, Emily. I will fall short daily of being perfect, but I will try my hardest to make you happy.”

Seeing one of the girls peek from around the corner of the wall that led to the back area behind the stage, I smiled and dropped my hand away from Emily’s face. “Looks like they want to get on with this practice,” I said, grinning.

She smiled and said, “All right. I really want the skit to be a surprise for you. Could you . . . leave?”

“Yeah, I’ll go.” I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed the top of it. “I’ll call you later.”

Her smile grew as the other people doing the skit came back on the stage. Her eyebrows shot up as they made their way up the stairs. “This is Kyle, everybody. Kyle, this is Heidi, Paul, Ronda, Jeremy, Tessa, and my younger sister, Liv.”

Everyone was about our age, except for Liv. She looked about thirteen or so. She came over to me and looked up into my eyes. “You’d better be nice to my sister, mister! Or you’ve got me to deal with!”

“Liv!” Emily scolded. “Stop that!”

I laughed and said, “I’ll treat her like the princess she is.”

“Awe . . .” one of the girls from the group said. “He’s so perfect, Emily! And he’s super cute!”

Emily smiled.

“All right, all. Nice meeting you. I’ll leave you all to it.”

Leaving the sanctuary, I headed out to the parking lot to leave when I was stopped by a yell from the church.

“Kyle!” Tom hollered, running out from the church as I was about to open my car door. I stopped and turned to him as he approached.

Smiling, I said, “Hi, Tom.”

“Hey . . .” he said, taking a moment to catch his breath. “I wanted to talk to you for a moment. She told you, right?”

I nodded.

“Good. You should know that she’s a pretty important girl in this church, and if you do anything that—”

Raising a hand, I said, “Stop. I’m fine with her being blind. It’s not a big deal to me. I care about Emily.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t think you understand how big of a disability blindness truly is. She can’t drive. She can’t do a lot of things in life that you take for granted every day.”

“I understand what being blind entails. Thanks, though.” I opened my car door, and he grabbed onto the door to stop me.

“Just end it now if you can’t deal with it. Let the shock wear off and then re-analyze. It’s okay to not be with her, Kyle. Completely understandable.”

I shook my head and got into my car.
What a jerk
, I thought to myself as I left the church parking lot. Her being blind didn’t matter to me. Sure, it might be inconvenient here or there, but it wasn’t something that would cause me not to be with her. I wasn’t falling for her because of what she saw, but for the way she made me feel.

Getting home just a few minutes after dinner was underway, I grabbed a plate and dished myself a helping of my mother’s tuna casserole. Taking a seat at the table with Joanie and my mother, I bowed my head and said a silent prayer to myself.

“How’d it go?” Joanie asked as I lifted my eyes and began to eat.

“How’d what go?” my mother asked.

“I went and met Emily.”

My mom furrowed her eyebrows. “After she told you she wasn’t comfortable with letting you into that part of her life? That wasn’t very nice of you to do.”

“I think it’s fine,” Joanie added.

“I’m falling in love with her, Mom,” I said before taking a bite of my food.

My mother smiled. “Oh, young love . . .” she said longingly. “Okay. Well, tell us what you learned.”

“It ended up not being that big of a deal. She’s just blind.”

Joanie choked on the glass of water she was drinking and my mother set her fork down.

“What?” my mother asked, her eyes wide.

Joanie wiped her mouth with her cloth napkin and leaned in. “Are you serious right now? Blind?”

I nodded and asked, “Yeah. What’s the big deal?”

“Honey . . .” my mother began to say in sympathetic voice. “I don’t think you understand.”

I shook my head. “Seriously? I get it. She can’t see things. It’s not like it’s going to affect much.”

“She’ll forever need someone to take care of her. She can’t ever get a job, drive, or even take care of herself,” Joanie said.

Standing up, I said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Taking my plate over to the sink, I tossed it in and stormed toward the exit of the kitchen.

“You need to be a little bit more sensitive to what you say, Joanie,” I could hear my mother say as I left down the hallway.

Coming into my room, I shut the door and lay down on my bed. Putting my hands up behind my head, I looked at the ceiling and began praying.

Why are people so judgmental, Lord? Help them understand that I don’t care about the blindness. I like—and quite possibly love—Emily for who she is. Help me have a level head, and help others to see my perspective. Amen.

Following the lines in the ceiling with my eyes, I thought about Emily. Had she been blind since birth? Or was there an accident? Jumping away from the topic of being blind, I thought about the last few weeks leading up to today. She had been terrified to tell me. It broke my heart that she had all that worry about me knowing and finding out that had been building up inside of her.

Sitting up on my bed, I looked across the room. Seeing my computer, I went over and jumped in the chair. What Joanie said could have been true or false. I honestly had no idea, and so I began to research online. After an hour of researching, I was happy to find out that I was right. Blind people can live rather independently and even have jobs when they use the resources available to them; it just takes a lot more effort.

Looking away from the screen to give my eyes a break, I saw my old bandana from when I was younger hanging on the corner of my closet door.

Getting up, I went over to the closet and pulled it down. I wrapped it around my head and tied it. My vision was completely gone.
This is what it’s like
, I thought to myself.

Turning around from the closet, I attempted to use my memory to move around the room. Crouching slightly at the knees, I touched the top of my bed as I came around to the front of it. I stood upright as I stopped and felt for the TV to my left.

“Okay . . .” I said, nodding my head. Moving my hand from the TV, I felt over to the dresser and then to the radio. My fingers glided across the radio buttons until I found the power.

I pressed it, and started snapping my fingers and tapping my foot to the beat. Then I began to move my waist in rhythm with the classic rock song that was playing. As I began to dance about my room, I tripped on my controller, which sent me tumbling to my backside.

“Ahh!” I shouted as I pushed the bandana up to my forehead.

My mother came flying through the door. “What happened?” she shouted as she looked around.

I winced. “I fell.”

Her eyes met my bandana on my forehead, and she began to laugh and cover her mouth. “I’m sorry . . .” she said, reaching over to shut off the radio. Bending at the knees, she dropped beside me and brushed her fingers through my hair as she looked at me. “I’m sorry if I came across as not supportive out at the dinner table. I was just in shock.”

I nodded.

She moved her hand from my hair to my chest and said, “I’m glad that I raised a son who cares about someone’s heart above all else.” Her eyes began to well with tears. “Your father will be proud of you too. I know it.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Hey, Kyle,” Joanie said from behind my mother in the doorway.

I looked up at her.

“I’m sorry too . . . I still think the whole thing is weird, but I’m happy for you. Truly. If she makes you happy and you want to be with her, there’s nothing else that matters, bro.”

“Thanks,” I replied with a smile.

“I can’t imagine how Jake will take the news,” my mother said. “He’s always a jerk about things.”

I shook my head and looked down as my smile fell away. “We’re not friends anymore.”

“How come?” she asked.

Joanie vanished around the corner and out of sight.

“I went over there the other day and told him about becoming a Christian.”