A Changed Agent (12 page)

She couldn’t keep the joy from her voice. “I’ve always loved learning about new things. I love being with the children. It seemed like a natural fit. When the former schoolteacher retired, the committee asked me if I wanted to take the job.”

She brushed an ant from the toe of her shoe. “Nothing gives me more pleasure than when I see the faces of my students light up because they understand something I’ve been teaching them.”

“What about a family of your own? Do you think that is in your future?”

Her heart skipped a beat. She shook her head. She wanted to tell him that Harry and Minnie were filling that void in her life. “Right now my days are filled with so many joyous things.”

They were silent for a few minutes until Will asked, “You know what our front porch needs?”

She shook her head.

“Rocking chairs. So we don’t have to hurt our backs sitting on these porch steps.” Resting his hand against his lower back, he added, “I’ll see if the mercantile has any. If not, I’ll have someone at the lumberyard make us up a pair.”

“I’d like that.” What she would like even better would be if this moment could last forever. Will actually wore a look of contentment on his face. And he’d spoken the words “our front porch”—as though he’d begun to think of this as their home.

After the sun began to set, Elsie called the children into the house to get ready for bed. She sat on the edge of their bed listening to Harry recite their bedtime prayers.

“Thank you, Lord, for bringing Uncle Will home and for keeping us safe. Please watch over Miss Mitchell. Amen.”

Turning down the lantern, she left them. There could be no denying her growing attachment to the children. With each passing day, they became a bigger part of her life. Elsie had to find a way to stay detached. She needed to keep reminding herself that she was their caregiver, that they didn’t belong to her. It was becoming more and more difficult to remember that.

Going to her apartment, she found the travel book where she’d left it the last time she’d looked through the pages. She’d been hoping to plan some geography lessons using some of the places highlighted in the chapters. Then some of the students had needed extra help, so between seeing to their needs and caring for the twins, her free time had been limited.

Tonight she needed to take her mind off Will’s family. She needed to remind herself why she’d taken on this extra job to begin with. She needed to start planning her next trip. One day Will might decide he no longer needed a live-in caregiver. Or he could find a woman to make his wife, and she would become the mother figure for Harry and Minnie. Each beat of Elsie’s heart made her ache at those thoughts.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she picked up
The
Smithson Travel Guide,
thinking it would be best if she concentrated on what lay between the pages. A light tapping on her door made her turn around.

Chapter Ten

“Elsie?”

Setting the book on the side table, she stood, smoothing down the front of her dress, and walked over to answer the door. She pulled it open. “Is there something else you need me to do, Will?”

“No. I’m reheating the last of the coffee and thought you might like me to put the kettle on for some tea. Would you like a cup?”

“I was going to work on some lesson plans.” She nodded toward the book.

“Is that the travel book you received last month?”

“Yes. I haven’t had time to look through it, and since the children are snuggled in bed, I thought I might get to it tonight.”

Part of her wanted him to leave so she could get on with her project, and yet a bigger part of her hoped he would persuade her to join him for the tea.

Then he surprised her by saying, “Bring the book out into the parlor. I’ve a fire going. You can sit by the hearth. I won’t bother you while you work, Elsie.”

“All right. I’ll have one sugar cube for my tea, please. Oh, and there are some tea biscuits in the round tin on the shelf over the stove.”

“I’ll find them.”

Making her way into the parlor, Elsie couldn’t help but think how cozy the house was looking. She’d rearranged the furniture. Her mother had come by and measured the windows, then had surprised her with the airy muslin curtains that were hanging there now. She’d worked on the silhouettes of Harry and Minnie while Will had been up at the lumber camp. She’d wanted to surprise him with a keepsake of the children.

He entered the room carrying a tin tray lined with two mugs and a plate filled with the tea cookies. She waited until he’d set the tray on the end table and then said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Elsie opened the travel guide on her lap. Surprisingly enough, the first page she opened to had a journal entry from a young woman who’d traveled on a steamer ship to Europe with her parents. The trip of Elsie’s dreams. Just reading the young lady’s account had her thinking of what she’d pack in her trunk for such a journey.

Will rested an elbow on the arm of his chair, then took a peek at the book. “Europe. Never been. Seems to me it’d be a long trip.”

Even though Will had said he wouldn’t interrupt her, Elsie didn’t mind talking about her plans. “The sailing time could be anywhere from seven to ten days, depending on the weather. If the ship hit high seas or storms, it could be longer. But think of all the interesting people I could meet on a ship. There would be plenty of time during the transatlantic crossing to learn about their lives and what made them want to travel to such faraway places.”

He scrubbed his hand along his chin. “I don’t know, Elsie, seems to me if you do this, you should go with a traveling companion.” The side of his mouth tilted upward, and there was a gleam in his eyes as he said, “A woman as pretty as you, I dare say there’d be men toppling over each other to get your attention.”

She blushed and turned away from him, pretending to rearrange her skirts. “I’m used to traveling alone.”

“This wouldn’t be a trip that is just along the Hudson River. You’d be going thousands of miles.”

“I suppose I might be able to find someone to go with me.”

“Maybe your friend Amy could go.”

The idea that Amy would have the money needed for such a trip made Elsie realize that reaching her dream might be further away than she hoped. Disappointment surged through her. “I can tell you think this trip is nothing more than my fanciful daydream.”

“Why would you say something like that?”

“Because, Will, I am on a meager schoolteacher’s salary, and Amy is barely making ends meet.”

“It’s nice to have dreams, Elsie.”

What Will didn’t understand was that Elsie would find a way to make this dream come true. She flipped to the next page in the book. Here was a depiction of the interior of one of the luxury liners that were now sailing out of New York City. She ran her fingers over the picture. Maybe she would have her students come up with ideas on where they could travel and how they might get there.

She felt Will’s hand on her arm.

“Elsie, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

“No. You were right. I’d never thought about needing a traveling companion. And, of course, I know how expensive the trip will be.” Trying to brighten the mood, she said, “My students will enjoy the geography project I’m planning.”

He removed his hand from her arm and leaned back in the chair. “I like sitting here in front of the fire. I noticed you added some things to the house while I was gone.”

“I hope that’s all right. It seemed the house needed some warm touches.”

“I want to thank you for those portraits you did of Harry and Minnie, too.”

“You’re welcome. They’re called silhouettes.” She laughed remembering how she’d had to entice Harry to sit still. “Minnie sat perfectly still while I drew her likeness, but Harry, he squirmed like he had ants in his pants! I finally promised him one less arithmetic problem for homework if he sat still long enough for me to finish.”

“I’m glad everyone is settling in.”

“Children thrive when their life has routine.” She absently turned another page. “Will, they appreciated the time you spent with them today.”

“I had a day off.”

“I know, but surely it brought you closer to them.”

He didn’t respond. Elsie wondered what he was thinking. Was he remembering the day he’d shared with the twins? Was he happy enough here to eventually make this a permanent home? Will interrupted her thoughts.

“How did your meeting go?”

“We got a lot accomplished.”

Elsie stared off into the fire, watching the flames curl around a small log, shooting sparks up the chimney. Elaine Moore had wasted little time rushing to tell her how her husband, Francis, had seen Will coming out of the saloon earlier this week. Though she’d tried, Elsie couldn’t understand his need to go there. She wondered if he had a gambling problem. Maybe he liked to imbibe, or heaven forbid, he spent the time carousing with those women.

She didn’t want to imagine any of those possibilities. Something kept drawing him there. She knew asking him might make him angry, but she was willing to risk ending this peaceful interlude.

Elsie shifted in her chair, turning to face him. The soft glow of firelight filled the room. Will’s eyes were closed. His mouth relaxed. Elsie nibbled on her lower lip. Finally she spoke. “Will?”

“Hmm?”

“I need to ask you something and I want you to promise me you won’t become angry.”

He opened his eyes. Her heart stuttered as she stared into his gaze. His pupils darkened. Elsie watched as he raised his eyebrows. She could feel the shift in his demeanor. Maybe she’d been wrong to ask him to make any promises.

“I’m listening.”

Suddenly she didn’t feel so brave. Before the nerves got the best of her, Elsie said, “Elaine Moore joined us at the committee meeting today. Do you know who she is?”

“Francis Moore’s wife.” Will repositioned himself in the chair.

“She told me her husband has witnessed you leaving the saloon.” The words came out in a rush. A log in the fireplace rolled backward, sending more sparks up the chimney.

Leaving her chair, Elsie found the long-handled poker and pushed the log back into place. Behind her, Will remained quiet. Determined to find out why he was patronizing the saloon, she turned to face him.

“I seem to have forgotten that Mr. Moore knows everything that goes on in Heartston,” he said.

“He is a bit of a gossip,” Elsie agreed. She rested the iron poker alongside the fireplace wall. “I don’t understand why you are going there, Will.” She turned to face him again.

“We discussed this issue before.”

“I know. I thought that since you seem to have settled here, you weren’t frequenting the establishment anymore.” Of course, she’d no idea where he’d really gone when he wasn’t home. This past week had shown what Will had said from the beginning—that he’d be gone long hours and maybe for days at a time. But to think he would rather spend his free time in the saloon than be here with the children got Elsie riled.

Deciding to take a more gentle approach, she pushed back her ire and chose her next words carefully. “Perhaps you shouldn’t be going there when you are needed at home.”

“Are you preaching to me, Elsie?”

She straightened her shoulders, staring him down. “I’m not! I’m just trying to point out that your time could be better spent.”

Will left the chair. Striding across the room, he stopped in front of the window. He yanked back the curtains. She watched him flex his shoulders. The growing tension between them sliced through the air like the cold blade of a knife.

“Why do you go there?”

“It’s not for the reason you’re fearing.”

She couldn’t voice the worst of her fears. Memories of her encounter with the redheaded saloon girl gave way to goose bumps rising. Elsie rubbed her arms. She should be praying for that young woman’s salvation, and instead she harbored feelings of anger and frustration at Will.

“Elsie, you need to trust me when I tell you I have my reasons for going there.”

She joined him by the window. “What reason could be more important than being with Harry and Minnie?” she asked, pushing him to give her answers.

She saw him closing his feelings away. Shutting her eyes, she said a short prayer, asking the Lord for strength. Opening them again, she found Will still staring off, but this time there was an anguish she’d never seen before in him.

Softly, she continued, “Will. Please. Talk to me.”

Knowing he couldn’t open himself to Elsie’s questions, and yet realizing he had to give her something, frustrated Will. How had his life come to this? Could he tell her some of what she wanted to hear and not risk revealing who and what he really was?

Will didn’t know, but he owed it to Elsie to at least try.

Keeping in mind that his first loyalty was to the Pinkertons, he avoided meeting her gaze, staring out into the inky night.

This wasn’t at all how Will had planned for his life to be turning out. He knew full well the children were beginning to see him as their father figure. And what of Elsie? She cared for them like a mother. Heaven above, he needed to close this case. He needed to decide what would be best for the children. And while he’d been busy tracking the bond thief, the children and the schoolteacher had been busy building a home—his home.

“Harry and Minnie love living here, Will. And I know one day soon Minnie will speak to us. But we both need to be here; we both need to be in their lives.”

He spun around. “This is all temporary! One day you’ll have saved the money you need for your big trip and then you’ll be gone. You’re no different than I am. Why can’t you see that, Elsie?”

She brushed her hand across her eyes, and he realized she was trying to keep tears from spilling down her cheeks. Feeling like the worst sort of cad, he took her trembling hands in his.

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I never meant to say those words. Oh, Elsie . . .”

She squared her shoulders and said, “You may see me in the same light as yourself, Will, but I give my all to caring for your charges. When you are out at night doing whatever it is that you do, I am the one here seeing to their well-being.”

“I know you are. And I am grateful you can be here for them when I’m not able.”

“You’d have more time with them if you avoided the saloon.”

He blew out a frustrated breath. “I’m there on business. All right. That’s all you need to know.”

Bowing his head, he did something he hadn’t done in a long, long time. He prayed. He prayed for forgiveness and for strength. Elsie brushed her hand lightly over the top of his head. Her hand stilled. Lifting his head, he looked into her tear-stained face expecting to find anger, but instead he saw compassion and patience, neither of which he deserved.

Reaching out, he cradled her face in his hands. Her skin felt so silky smooth to his touch, reminding him of that day long ago in Albany when he’d first met her. Her skin felt as soft and inviting as those silk stockings had as they slipped through his fingertips. Except . . . he didn’t want whatever was happening between them to slip away from him.

Letting out a groan of frustration, he released her, and slowly rising said, “I need to go out for some air.”

“Will, please—” She followed him to the door.

“I’ll be back later.”

Later turned out to be hours into the night. When he finally returned to the house, he found Elsie had left a lamp burning for him on the kitchen window sill. He carried it with him to light the way up the stairs, where he looked in on the children. Then he sat wearily on the edge of his bed.

Pulling off first his coat and then his boots, he lay back against the pillows and fell into a fitful sleep.