A Cowboy's Christmas Promise (10 page)

“That may have been true at the time, because that's where our life
was.
But it isn't anymore. She would want them to be raised wherever I thought was best, and right now, that's here in Montana.”

Evelyn shivered. “She would be appalled.”

“I don't think so.” He shook his head as he packed crayons into a plastic bin and made a pile of doll shoes on the coffee table. “Katie didn't do
appalled.
”

Evelyn let out a practiced sigh, waving her hand vaguely at the messy room. “You must be able to see that this isn't working. You need help.”

He stopped cleaning and turned toward her, hands on his hips. “I resent your tone, Evelyn, and your accusations. The girls are doing well, I have work that I love, and though it's busy right now, I'm looking to bring in a partner to help shoulder the load. My family and friends are here. It's the right place for us right now.”

“You have family and friends in Denver, too, Daniel.”

“Not
my
friends. Not
my
family. Not really. Denver was Katie's world. I lived there because I loved her and that's where she wanted to be. It wouldn't have been my choice.”

“But it was hers.” Her voice was quiet but firm.

“Yes, but I need to figure out what's best for us now, and right now,
here
is best.”

“Even though you're robbing your children of opportunities they should have?”

“I prefer to think I'm enriching their lives with a different kind of opportunity.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I see. Well.”

He took a calming breath. They were due at Whisper Creek in ten minutes. This was not the time or place. “We have a rehearsal to get to.”

“I have a feeling you're going to find an excuse
every
time we try to have this discussion.”

“I'm not finding an excuse. We're due at a wedding rehearsal. It's not okay to be late. We can discuss this—and whatever else it is you've been hinting at—later.”

“We just want more time with the girls, Daniel. That's all. Maybe—maybe we need to take bigger steps to get that. I don't know. I hadn't wanted to take that route.”

The same fear that had gripped his stomach when he was talking to Cole took hold again. “What are you talking about?”

“I just want access to my only grandchildren. My attorneys believe a court would be sympathetic.”

The fear twisted sharply.
Attorneys? Court?

“You
do
have access. You have as much access as you want!”

“You can't really believe that. Look how far we have to travel to see them now.”

He tried to keep his voice steady. “I've
never
prevented you from seeing the girls. But let me tell you something.” His voice was low, furious. “If you go through with some sort of legal wrangling—”

“You make it sound so base. We're just trying to find a way to give our granddaughters the opportunities they deserve. The ones they're entitled to as our grandchildren. As our daughter's children. We're just trying to carry out her wishes.”

“Because you think I'm not doing so?”

“Well.” Again she raised her eyebrows and looked around.

“Evelyn, a messy house is not a sign that I'm incapable of raising the girls. It's a sign that we're way busier having fun than worrying about whether everything looks like a magazine shoot.”

“It's not about a messy house, Daniel. It's about you dragging them up here, so far away from where Katie wanted them to grow up. It's like you—you don't care anymore what she wanted.”

“That's not true and you know it.”

“What we know is that the girls belong in Denver.
Katie
wanted them in Denver, and if you aren't willing to take advantage of a golden opportunity like Southwick landing right in your lap, then maybe we need to take stronger steps.”

Daniel looked at her, hardly believing what he was hearing. He pointed out the window toward the driveway. “If you ever,
ever
try to take steps that would take my girls out of this home, I will not
hesitate
to disappear them from your life forever.”

With a silent stream of curses crowding his head, he headed for the stairs, then stopped short.

Two pairs of wide blue eyes stared down at him in frightened horror.

“So, Bryn and Gracie…do you understand what your job is tomorrow?” Just after the rehearsal in the meadow ended, Hayley crouched down so she was at the little girls' level. Jess was now stuck in St. Louis, so it was up to her to make sure the flower girls were all set for tomorrow.

“Yup.” Bryn nodded. “We do two thumbs-ups and walk to Decker. Oh, and we toss the flower petals.”

“Gently,” Gracie added. “And we have to smile.”

“But we don't feel like smiling right now.” Bryn's voice was soft, sad.

Hayley looked into her watery eyes. “Why not?”

“Daddy and Nana had mad words before, and now Daddy's grumpy.”

Hayley glanced at Daniel, but he wasn't paying them any attention at the moment. She realized she didn't know him well enough to have any idea what his version of a bad mood looked like, but felt like she should somehow reassure the girls. “Y'know, your daddy doesn't seem like the kind of guy who stays grumpy for long. I bet he'll be fine in a while.”

“Maybe,” Bryn allowed.

As she ducked her little head, Hayley noticed her intricate braids. Wow. Someone in the downtown salon had some serious hair skills. “Who did your beautiful braids, Bryn?”

“Daddy did.”

“Really?” Hayley looked at the swoops and swirls of hair, expertly twisted and pinned.
Daniel had done this?

Gracie touched her own braids carefully. “He learned it on the computer, but we had to practice a lot.”

“I bet you did. That is
some
amazing hair.” She glanced at Daniel, who was still talking with Cole. Apparently they were in no hurry to get inside.

Hayley reached out and hugged Bryn's shoulders, then did the same with Gracie. “Well, you both look beautiful, and you know what I know? Tonight's supposed to be lots of fun, and I think we should get started on the fun part!”

“Okay!” They both squeezed her hands, and Hayley felt a quick rush of emotion she hadn't experienced since…a long, long time ago as they fitted their little hands into hers.

She squeezed back. “Want to skip to the lodge?”

Gracie pumped her fist. “Can we sing, too? Let's do the whiskers on kittens one!”

“Like Daddy sings it!” Bryn grinned.

Hayley sneaked another glance at Daniel, taking in the man she'd spent the entire night talking with just days ago. He muscled horses for a living, and had the physique to prove it—but braided his girls' hair like a pro and sang with them to
The Sound of Music
soundtrack.

She shook her head to clear it. She didn't want to be impressed by him. Didn't want to look at that muscled chest and trim waist in his dress clothes one more time and wonder what he might look like with a few buttons undone. Definitely didn't want to imagine what might have happened the other morning had Cole not come into the barn when he did.

And
definitely
didn't want to fall for these sweet little girls she'd only known for hours, especially if they might disappear.

“Oh, there they go again.” Daniel cringed as Hayley and the girls set off skipping, then ended up falling into an ungainly pile in the grass. “Gracie and Bryn seem to have the ability to knock that poor woman off her feet every time they get near her.”

Cole laughed quietly, elbowing Decker. “If I'm not mistaken, they're not the only ones knocking her off her feet.”

“You think?” Decker bounced his eyebrows up and down. “I gotta say, I never saw her blush once last summer, but every time she's around Danny-boy here, those cheeks go flaming. Don't let Kyla get wind of it, or she'll start doing the matchmaker thing.”

“Well, I won't tell her if you don't.” Daniel looked over at Hayley, who was once again untangling her legs from those of his girls.

“How much you wanna bet they called her ‘
legs
' in high school?” Cole raised his eyebrows.

“Not taking bets.” Daniel tore his eyes away from her.

“Well,” Decker said, “if you decide you
are
interested, I'm sure Kyla can give you the full scoop on her.”

“I'd prefer to figure out the scoop myself, thanks.”

Dammit. He'd just said that out loud.

Cole and Decker were both silent for a long moment, but Daniel could tell they were both holding back grins.
Great. How had that come out of his mouth?

He shook his head. “I meant that if I
was
interested, I'd prefer—”

Decker clapped him on the shoulder. “Sure, buddy. We getcha. You're not interested. Neither is she. So we'll try to ignore how hard the two of you are working to make sure we all know it.”

Daniel sighed. Sometimes it kind of sucked to have friends who could see right through you.

He watched Hayley pick herself up off the grass and reach down for Bryn and Gracie. “She's crazy. If the two of them don't help her break an ankle before tomorrow, I'll be surprised.” He breathed a sigh of relief when they reached the wide back porch and bounced up the stairs together, disappearing through the French doors, fractures averted.

Now, if he could make his eyes stop tracking her every move, he'd feel a lot better.

Decker put on his hat and started for the house. “I'm gonna go play adoring bridegroom, but you two can stay out here if you want to. I can handle the ladies myself.”

When he was out of earshot, Cole reached behind the makeshift altar and pulled out a cooler. “I don't know about you, but I could use a cold one. You're not in a hurry to go in there, are you?” He handed a beer to Daniel, and they sat back against the hay bales stacked against the altar. “They'll come find us if they need us.”

“We avoidance-drinking?”

“You know the minute we go through those doors, Ma'll have us hauling stuff around.”

“Again?” Daniel took a slug of his beer. “There's nothing left
to
haul, is there?”

“Won't matter.”

Cole took a drink of his own beer, looking across the valley. He was silent for a minute, then shifted his eyes toward Daniel. “So what about you? Think you'll ever get married again?”

Daniel shook his head firmly, trying to get the picture of Hayley's just-kissed lips out of his head. “No.”

“Never?”

“Never. I had Katie. She was—amazing. And she gave me Gracie and Bryn. I could never find something like that with someone else. Wouldn't even want to try to.”

Right?

Cole was silent for a long moment. “Do you ever think someday it might get lonely?”

Ha.
Lonely. It was lonely every damn day. That part didn't get better with time. The part where it felt like his ribs got sliced through with a carving knife every time he breathed had finally eased in the past six months, but the dull ache that came with every memory of Katie? No. That felt like it would never go away.

But that was okay, because it was all he had left. That and pictures. And his beautiful daughters, who had her eyes and her sweet temperament. Most men didn't ever get to have what he'd had, and he never went a day without feeling grateful for it all.

Nobody found that kind of love twice. And anytime he even thought about the possibility, all he could picture was Katie, and what she would think of him replacing her, and that just hurt like hell. She didn't deserve that. These—these feelings he was having for Hayley were just a symptom of overtiredness mixed with the crazy emotions of a best friend's wedding.

Simple as that.

Daniel cleared his throat, chasing the thoughts away. “It's a little impossible to be lonely in my house.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know.” He took a slug of his beer. “But think about it. Here I am—I get to—I don't know, smell the grass, get to watch the sunset, get to—be a parent. Katie only got that for five short years, and one of them was hell. So how would it be fair for me to go off and find someone else? She doesn't get to even
live.
”

Cole nodded his head thoughtfully. “I get that. But—”

“No buts.”

“It doesn't mean you have to give up your rights to be happy for the rest of your life, Danny.”

“I'm perfectly happy.”

“I know. But happy as in happy in a relationship, a marriage, something.”

Daniel sighed. “I don't think I can explain it.”

“I'm not asking you to.” Cole tipped his bottle to his lips and took a drink, looking toward the lodge, where music was cranking up. “And maybe I've got a case of the weddings or something.”

“It's going around.”

“For what it's worth, I think Katie would want you to be happy. I don't think she'd want you to play monk for the rest of your life.”

“Well, we didn't have time for that discussion, unfortunately—and I can't ask her now, can I?”

Daniel cleared his throat.

Dammit.

“I'm sorry, man. Outta line. I'm done.”

“I know you mean well. I'm happy. Had my happily-ever-after thing. I don't need a woman in my life. Soon enough, I'll be overrun by them, anyway.”

Right?

“Okay.” Cole drained his beer. “But I do feel obliged to warn you that when Hayley's around, it doesn't look like your eyes are seeing much else.”

“Have my girls finally worn you out?” Daniel strolled across the deck toward Hayley later that evening with two goblets of red wine. As she leaned against the railing, she tried hard not to notice how unfairly gorgeous he looked in a white dress shirt and khakis, sleeves rolled up just enough so she could see a dark sprinkling of hair on his arms.

She swallowed, not wanting to appreciate the view, but the way his chest filled out the shirt would have put him in the running for an outdoor magazine photo shoot. She fought the urge to fan herself.

After the requisite rehearsal night slide show, she'd sidled out the French doors to the citronella-lit deck, aiming for some fresh air and, admittedly, an escape from the invisible snare Daniel seemed to have her in.

When his girls had angled for spots next to her at the table, she'd made space and calmed frayed nerves, then fought down a feeling that was one part sad and two parts panicky when she realized she'd just fixed Bryn's braid and cut Gracie's chicken without thinking twice.

The actions that seemed second nature to her were things she hadn't actually done for over ten years now, and it was strange to fall right back into them like she'd never been forced to stop.

Maybe it was their ages, or maybe it was their sweet smiles and disarming openness, but when Gracie had tapped her elbow at the table, Hayley'd half-expected to see Izzy when she turned toward her.

At dinner, she'd caught Daniel looking her way more than once, and his dark green eyes had danced with humor as the girls battled playfully for the last scoop of Hayley's ice cream, finally landing it in Gracie's lap instead of in either of their bowls.

She'd liked it all. She'd liked skipping with the girls earlier. She'd liked conspiring with Gracie about which Disney princess they'd each like to be. She'd liked the way both Gracie and Bryn had climbed onto her lap after dinner to watch the slide show.

She'd especially liked how Daniel's eyes had warmed when he looked over and saw the three of them snuggled in an easy chair watching the show.

Which was all a problem. She could not—
would
not—get attached to this little family. She was leaving in a week, and she had no desire to leave little pieces of her heart behind. That's why she was currently outside on the deck, wishing it was Boston instead of Montana so it would actually be dark by now. Maybe then her escape would have gone unnoticed, and she could have slipped away into the darkness.

“You're not hiding out here, are you?” Daniel smiled as he handed her one of the glasses. “Bryn and Gracie just went home with my mother-in-law. I could have called them off anytime, you know. You don't have to be de facto babysitter just because they've decided you're the coolest thing since fruit snacks.”

Hayley smiled. “I'm not hiding. Just getting some air.”

“Thanks for hanging out with them today.”

“It was a tough job, but I did my best.” She smiled at him. “Just kidding. They're adorable. It was fun.”

“You sure you don't have bruises?”

“They'll heal.”

Daniel motioned to a double glider set at the edge of the deck. “Want to sit?”

Yes. Yes, I really do want to sit next to you. And then I really want to kiss you again, because if the first kiss was that good…

She gulped. “I think maybe I'll stand. Thanks, though.”

When she didn't sit, he moved his wine glass from hand to hand a couple of times, looking like he was trying to figure out how to say something important. Finally, he spoke. “Hayley, I, umm, I feel like I need to say something to you, just for clarity's sake. Or something.”

She felt her eyebrows hike toward her hairline. “Okay?”

He turned toward her, and she hated that she could see heat in his eyes. “So the other morning…in the barn?”

“Mm-hm?” She felt her face warm as she thought about the kiss she couldn't stop reliving.

“I'm—I'm really sorry that happened.”

Oh.

Well.

He cringed. “That didn't come out quite right. I'm not actually sorry it happened—but I did want to reassure you that it won't happen again.”

“Umm, okay?”

This was good, right? Isn't this what she wanted? To not have to relive that kiss? To not feel that heat again and wish for more?

Yes, this is what she wanted.

He sighed, looking into her eyes. “Hayley, it kills me to even admit this, but in another time, another place, I would do anything I could to get close to you. You're smart, you're funny, you're—God—gorgeous. But I'm just not—”

“All that into you?” Hayley tried to lighten him up, even though she was surprised to find his words feeling like little thorns poking into her ribs.

“No.” His eyes were serious as he raised one hand and touched a curl that had escaped her headband. “It's not that at all. I'm just…I don't know that I'll ever be able to be with someone else. And pretending otherwise wouldn't be fair.”

“Because of Katie?” Her voice was a whisper.

He nodded. “And the girls.”

“It's okay, Daniel. You don't have to explain why a sleep-deprived kiss won't lead to anything else. We're both grown-ups here. Don't worry. I'm good. I'm alone on purpose, and I like it that way. Please don't think I was harboring any delusions that one fun night in a barn should turn into anything more.”

Right.

“So…we're good?” His eyes actually seemed more troubled than relieved at her words.

“We're good.” She fought the frown that threatened to envelop her face.

He touched her hair again. “I meant what I said, though. If it was another time…”

“Another place. Yep, gotcha.” She tried not to lean into his hand. “So just a quick favor, then?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Please. Just please stop touching me.”

“Well,
there's
a sight that makes my seventeen hours in airports suddenly worth it.” Jess nodded down the outdoor aisle toward the collection of men gathered near the makeshift altar. It was fifteen minutes before the wedding, and Hayley had finally donned the dreaded dirndl and come out of her cabin. With its laces and gold trim and velvety green skirt, she felt like a storybook Heidi, albeit a tall, redheaded one. “Why does every man in the universe look good in a tux?”

“It's a mystery.” Hayley had been doing her best
not
to look, but the sight of Daniel in a black jacket and dressy tie was stirring all kinds of fantasies she didn't need in her head right now. He'd looked exceptionally good last night in a white dress shirt and khakis, but today? Way too hot for her own good.

She pulled her eyes away from the group of men, focusing on the guests filing into the white chairs as a string quartet played softly off to the side. A long silky runner ran for thirty feet between the rows, and Hayley wasn't at all sure how the lumpy meadow plus high heels plus a silk runner was going to work out in the end.

Actually, she was pretty sure she did know.

If they'd been in a church, she and Jess could have stayed hidden from view in a special bridal room, but since Kyla and Decker had opted for pseudo-modern-m
eadow, they just waited a decent distance away from the chairs, behind the gathering crowd.

“Everything looks perfect.” Jess fanned herself with her wildflower bouquet. “How did I forget how
gorgeous
it is at Whisper Creek?”

Hayley grimaced as she looked down at her dress. “Well, at least the men are gorgeous.
We
look like a Swiss Miss ad.”

“Now, now. You've had it in for these dirndls from day one. But admit it. They suit the setting, and the bride.”

“I swear I'm going to start singing ‘
Climb Every Mountain
' as I walk down the aisle.”

“Maybe after a couple of drinks at the reception.” Jess scanned the men again. “So I see Decker and Cole. Yum. Which of the other ones is Daniel?”

“The one who out-hots the other three.”

“Ah.” She nodded. “Though he doesn't quite
out-hot
Cole. Who's the fourth guy?”

“Michael. Decker's partner at their firm.”

Jess did a full circle, looking around. “Did Kyla hire a professional photographer? Because I'm looking at this setting, and those men, and I'm thinking a couple of pictures of this wedding on the Whisper Creek website would do wonders for business.”

“I'm not sure how much more business they can handle at this point, not that that wouldn't be an excellent problem to have.”

“You never know. Destination weddings are all the rage these days. They could become a
destination.
” Jess wiggled her eyebrows playfully. “And then you and I can move out here and be the wedding planners.”

“Because I'm such a wedding-ish person?”

“Right.” Jess shook her head. “Never mind. Maybe
I'll
move out and be the wedding planner, especially if it means I get to see men dressed like
this
all the time. And if I just moved here for good, I wouldn't have to play the airport-hopping game to get here anymore.”

“How many airports did you
hit
to get here?”

“Five. But I made it.” She glanced at her watch. “Had to shower in the Seattle airport at five o'clock this morning, but here I am.”

“Seattle? That's west of—”

“Don't ask. It involved a great deal of eyelash fluttering, and I'm not proud. But I repeat: I'm here.”

Just then two fluffy dresses practically hiding the girls inside came skipping toward Hayley and Jess, braids flying.

“Hi, Hayley!” Gracie and Bryn lurched to a stop. “Kyla's ready! We're supposed to give the signal!”

“What's the signal?” she asked.

“Two thumbs up!” Gracie smiled.

“At the minister,” Bryn added quietly.

Hayley noticed a definite pall under Bryn's already pale skin. “Wait one sec. Let's not give the signal quite yet.” She crouched down so she could look into Bryn's eyes. “Are you okay?”

“My tummy hurts.”

“Does it feel like you swallowed a big pile of crickets?”

Bryn giggled. “No. Feels all swishy-swashy.”

Oh. Great.

Gracie leaned on Hayley's shoulder. “She gets this way when she's nervous.” She nodded. “And she is
some
nervous.”

Bryn grabbed Hayley's hand fiercely. “There are a bazillion people here.”

“I know. They're excited to see Kyla and Decker get married. And they're excited to see you, too.”

“I don't want to do it anymore.” Bryn shook her head, eyes growing wider. “It's not a good idea anymore.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Hayley noticed Daniel looking their way, a concerned expression on his face. He started to head around the chairs toward them, but she motioned him back, having the very distinct feeling things would go better for all of them if Bryn couldn't leap into his arms and back out of this whole wedding business.

Oh, boy.
How was she going to get Bryn down the aisle without freaking out or throwing up? She glanced at Jess, who shrugged helplessly, and then something came to her. She took Bryn's hand.

“I have an idea. Would you like to walk with me down the aisle instead, sweetie? And Gracie can follow after us?”

Bryn looked into Hayley's eyes, apparently trying to decide whether that terror was all that much better than the other options, but finally she nodded ever so slowly. “Okay,” she whispered.

Hayley pivoted on her heel, managing to bury it one inch deep in grass before she ever started down the aisle.
Time to sell it to the other twin, and quickly.
She could see Kyla peeking out the French doors of the lodge. “Hey, Gracie, are you ready for an adventure?”

Her eyes sparkled. “Yes!”

“All right. Change of plans. Jess here is going to go first when the music starts, and then I'll go next with Bryn, and then you can have the aisle all to yourself so you can spread all your petals for Kyla to walk on.”

“Walk by myself?”

As she nodded, Hayley crossed her fingers that Gracie would embrace the plan, most especially because she had no others up her sleeve.

“Yay!” Gracie did a little fist pump, grinning.

“Yes? So we're good?” Hayley looked from one to the other, noticing for the first time that they were both holding onto her dress. She turned toward Jess, who was smiling widely and looking freakishly adorable in her dirndl, damn her.

“Jess, are you ready?”

“Ready!”

“Okay, girls. It's time!”

Both girls grinned and peeked down the aisle to locate the minister. Then Gracie appeared to forget the signal they'd worked on just last night. Instead of two-thumbs-up, at the top of her little lungs, she yelled, “We're ready!”