A Dangerous Demon King (The Sentinel Demons Book 4) (13 page)

“Not that many, really. And I was only a young man.” He hesitated before adding, “Nothing in the human realm could have ever prepared me for this. For you.”

He pulled her body over his, and Sophie sighed as she rested her head on his chest, lulled by the solid beat of his heart.

She wanted to ask him about their dreams. There were so many things she didn’t understand about his past.

“Tomorrow,” Kristoff said as though he’d read her mind, which he probably had. “Right now, let me take care of you like I always should have done.”

He lifted her easily and took her into the shower. He washed her sated body slowly, carefully. It occurred to Sophie that he could have easily just cleaned them with his powers, but he seemed to want to touch her, to be close to her.

After drying her and combing out her wet hair, he swept her up into his arms and carried her back to his bed.

“You sleep with me, Sophie,” he informed her bossily, but with a touch of vulnerability in his tone.

As she cuddled against him, she sighed when he spooned their naked bodies together. “Always. I want to stay with you forever.” Her brain had no filter anymore. Kristoff had laid her bare, and she was speaking from her heart.

He didn’t answer, but she could hear him expel the air he’d been holding in his lungs that sounded an awful lot like a
whooshed
breath of relief.

She fell asleep in Kristoff’s warm, covetous embrace, sleeping an exhausted slumber where she felt safe for the very first time in her life.

“S
o what I saw in my dreams last night was real?” Sophie asked carefully the next morning as she ate from the mountain of food Kristoff had created on her breakfast plate. At the rate she was going with food, she’d be bursting out of her jeans within another couple of days.

He nodded sharply, giving her a warning glance across the small table in the foyer. Since Athena had never created a kitchen in this home, it was their usual gathering place for meals. Sophie knew from his closed expression that he didn’t want to talk about their shared dreams. But she was determined to get her answers.

“Tell me,” she encouraged quietly.

“What is there to really tell?” he retorted. “Everything you saw is true. I was the gods’ assassin. It was my job for centuries.”

Her stomach beginning to churn, Sophie laid down her fork and reached for her coffee. “Zeus caged you that way for that long? Why?”

“Because he was a narcissistic pig,” Kristoff answered angrily. “Everything revolved around him in his world.” He took a deep breath and continued, “I never fit into the human world. My human mother shunned me, and I was raised by a decent couple who fed me and took care of me—until they realized I had powers I couldn’t control. It scared them, so they turned their back on me, too. I can’t really blame them. In the human world, I was a freak, and I had no idea how to control the powers of a god.”

“Your father never contacted you?” Sophie’s heart ached for a confused young man who didn’t know what to do with the powers he’d gained from a god.

“No. I had to track him when I knew I couldn’t stay in the human world any longer without help.”

“Did he help you?”

Kristoff let out a bark of laughter that didn’t contain any hint of humor. “If you can call it that. Once I found him, he promised me a place in the world of the gods. He said if I’d take an open position, he’d teach me how to use my powers.” He paused before continuing, “I agreed, but I didn’t know the open position was as the assassin for the gods. I was young enough and lost enough to do anything to figure out exactly who and what I was.”

“Oh, God. Please don’t tell me Zeus was your father.” Sophie felt her breakfast rolling around in her belly. She already knew what Kristoff’s answer would be.

“He was. And I wasn’t an offspring he wanted to claim. I was only a demigod, a bastard of very little importance, a son to scorn.”

“Bastard!” Sophie cursed, wishing Zeus to Hades for what he’d done to Kristoff.

A small smile formed on Kristoff’s sensual lips. “It was mostly my fault. Never trust a god. I agreed to his proposal hoping for a father, and I ended up with the cruelest jailer imaginable. He did show me how to use my powers, but only for evil. Eventually, he bent me completely to his will. He might have been an asshole, but he was powerful.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t have any choice,” Sophie defended staunchly.

Kristoff shrugged. “I refused to kill for him at first, but I eventually succumbed to his torture. I was still young, and my will wasn’t very strong. In time, I was forced to do his bidding. He was the king of the gods, and I was his son. There was no way to fight it.”

“He was a monster,” Sophie answered furiously. “I saw how he treated you, how you were conditioned. Did you ever feel remorse?”

“In the beginning. But eventually I lost all of my free will. I didn’t think. I simply reacted to commands.”

“I don’t understand why you blame yourself for your past.”

He shrugged. “I chose my fate. I went to him.”

“You wanted a father,” Sophie protested loudly. “You wanted to understand who you were and how to control your power. Nobody can blame you for that. How did you finally break his control?”

“Once Athena became aware of my existence and rescued me, I changed. I felt remorse. I felt responsible for every person I ever killed, even if most of them weren’t very nice people. I have the blood of a thousand on my hands, Sophie.”

“So you think you deserve to be punished for the rest of your existence?” She understood very well how it felt to be helpless, to be forced to do things she didn’t want to do.

He pinned her with a glacial stare. “Don’t I? I was a killer. It was my only purpose for centuries.”

“No. You don’t,” Sophie answered angrily. “Zeus deserves to be spending eternity in Hades for what he did, but you don’t need to spend the rest of your life paying for being young and confused. I’m just glad Athena finally pulled you out of that horrific cage.” Taking an audible breath, her chest rising and falling with frustration, Sophie suddenly realized something that hadn’t been said. “Athena is your sister.”

“Half-sister,” Kristoff corrected. “I owe her my sanity and my life. When her father accidentally let it slip that he had his own private assassin and that I was related to her, she found me. It took me years to trust her, and even longer to like her. By the time she offered to make me a Sentinel king, I was ready to take on something that actually meant something, to be someone who was fighting for humanity instead of executing all of the people who had angered the gods.”

“You’ve paid your dues, done your penance for something that really wasn’t your fault,” Sophie told him gently.

“How do you ever pay enough for slaying a thousand people?” Kristoff asked with a frown. “I can’t undo what I was.”

“Do you think I don’t know how you feel?” Sophie rasped. “Do you think I don’t feel remorse for every woman that died in the demon realm? Do you think I don’t feel like I’m drowning in guilt because I lived while so many women died over the centuries I was there?” She took a deep breath before continuing to let her emotions go. “I feel it
here
every day.” She put a hand over her heart. “
I
lived and
they
didn’t. Eventually, I had to block out that pain or give the Evils more ammunition to torture me with. You did exactly the same thing. I feel it, Kristoff. I lived it.” She rose with a tormented sob.

Faster than lightning, Kristoff caught her in his arms. “Don’t! Your situation is different. You didn’t kill those women.”

“It’s not different. I could have fought for them, but I didn’t. At first, I didn’t understand. When I finally figured out they were dead, I didn’t know how to protect them. I knew it was futile. There was nothing I could do. But I still can’t forget them.” Burying her face against his shoulder, the tears and sobs kept coming.

He stroked a comforting hand over her hair. “You’re tormenting yourself for no reason. Don’t.”

“I’ll lay it to rest when you do,” she told him adamantly. “When we can both find peace with what happened to us, then I’ll stop hating myself for being the only woman who lived.”

“Sweetheart, I can’t— “

“You can,” Sophie interrupted. “You can finally admit that you didn’t have the power back then to fight your father. That he was the murderer, not you. You had no control back then. He did.”

“If I try to remember that, will you stop crying?” Kristoff asked huskily.

Sophie let out a snort that was part laughter and partly a sob. “Yes.”

“Then I will try. I can’t bear to see you blame yourself for something that was way beyond your control.”

“Ditto,” she answered, using the new slang word she’d seen in a movie she’d watched just a few days ago.

Kristoff let out a bark of laughter that contained humor this time. “You’re so prepared to fight for me?”

Sophie pulled back and stared up at him. “Of course. I’m your
radiant
. I’ll always fight for you.”

Strangely, knowing Kristoff was her destined partner didn’t faze her a bit anymore. Since he’d touched her, claimed her, she knew things were exactly the way they were supposed to be. Well…if he wasn’t so damn stubborn about the
radiant
thing.

His face became solemn. “You don’t deserve to be stuck with a Sentinel like me. You should have someone who makes you happy.”

“You made me happy last night?”

He quirked his brow. “By sharing my nightmares with you?”

Sophie batted at his shoulder playfully. “You know that wasn’t what I meant. It was something I’ll never forget.”

He stroked a lock of hair from her face. “Believe me, I’ll never forget it either. But my need to make you belong to me forever is growing stronger. I either have to find a way to break us apart, or you’re going to end up mine forever. Truthfully, I will end up making you mine. I can’t let you go.”

It was that moment of tenderness, and his concern for her that really broke Sophie. “You can’t force me. Athena explained how things work.”

“No. No, I can’t,” he rasped.

“What if I don’t want you to control it anymore? What if I wanted to be your mate forever, my stubborn Sentinel king?”

Her heart accelerated as she stared at him, their eyes locking and holding. In that moment, Sophie could feel everything he was experiencing. The intense longing almost brought her to her knees.

“What are you saying?” Kristoff asked gruffly, need and desire turning his blue-eyed stare bright amber.

He looked hopeful, an expression Sophie had never seen in his grim countenance before. “I’m saying that maybe I want to be your mate. Maybe we really are perfect for each other. Maybe the fates got it right.” She took his hand and placed it over her heart. “I feel it here, Kristoff, and it feels good. Scary, but like a miracle at the same time. I’ve never had somebody who was mine. I’ve always been alone. Sharing your thoughts, being that close to a man is overwhelming, but not in a bad way.”

He grabbed her by the shoulders, his expression feral and intense. “You have no idea how much I crave you. I want to see you wearing my mark, and I feel like I’ll never recover from the pain if I can’t join us together and have you bonded to me as my mate. But I don’t want you to regret it someday. My responsibilities as the Sentinel king are heavy at times. I can be a major asshole.”

His capitulation made Sophie’s heart sing. “Maybe I like assholes, and I’d never let you get too out of line,” she ventured hesitantly, knowing she wanted to share the burdens that Kristoff refused to reveal to anyone. “I know what it’s like to be alone.”

A low growl reverberated through the air. “You’re mine. You’re not alone, and you’ll never be alone again. It’s my job as your mate to take care of you in every way, a responsibility I’d be happy and humbled to have.”

Longing.

All she felt was a desperate desire so intense that Sophie could hardly breathe. Lifting a hand to stroke his jaw, she whispered, “Then join us. I’ll take my duties to make you happy seriously, too. I feel some of your pain, and it’s tearing us both apart.”

They were in Kristoff’s bedroom as fast as Sophie could blink. “You make me happy just by breathing, just by being with me,” he answered huskily.

“I can do much better than that,” she said as she looked up at the man who had stolen her heart. He’d been alone for too long. And she was going to make damn sure he always knew that he had a mate at his back.

“Promise me that you won’t regret this, love,” he demanded gruffly. “Promise that you won’t one day hate being mated to a murderer.”

Sophie sighed as she looked at her would-be partner for life. His expression was serious and drawn, as though he expected her to rethink her decision. “I won’t regret it. You’re the only man I’ve been with, and the only one I’ve ever wanted. I know in my heart that will never change.”

He stroked a gentle finger over her cheek. “How does an asshole like me get lucky enough to be given a woman like you? I still don’t understand this.”

Kristoff’s humble comment hit Sophie straight in the heart. “Because you deserve to be happy. Someday I’ll make you believe that,” she answered honestly.

“One day you’ll wake up and realize you were wrong,” he warned her.

“One day you’ll wake up and realize I’m not beautiful,” she teased him back.

“Don’t say that,” he commanded. “There will never be a day when I don’t want you just as much as I do right now. You’re everything to me now, Sophie. You’re my entire life. There will never be a morning when I don’t wake up fucking grateful you were willing to have me.”

Her heart skipped a beat, and her core clenched with a need so strong she could barely answer. “I hope not.”

“
Will
you have me then, sweet Sophie? Will you share your soul with me, faults and all?” He sounded worried, like he was afraid she’d change her mind.

She nodded instantly. “Yes.” How could a woman ever turn down Kristoff? He thought they were so different, but really, they were so much alike.

They’d both been ruled by their insecurities and their past, but it was time for all of that to stop.

She knew deep down in her soul that she’d never be happy unless she became his
radiant
and was bonded to him. Her entire being was clamoring to be joined with this lonely Sentinel king who’d been waiting eons for his
radiant
. In truth, maybe she’d been waiting for him for him, too, even though she hadn’t really known it while she was imprisoned in the demon realm. She’d survived, and the only reason she was still here was because she had a purpose here on Earth right now.