A Daughter's Choice (15 page)

‘Poor kid,' said Mick, not moving an eyelid. ‘But there's nothing we can do right now, Ma.'

‘No, but what about Sarah? One of you should speak to her.'

‘OK!' said Ben, accepting that his brother had had a worse shock than he had.

He got up and left the basement, thinking he was really in no mood to talk sensibly to Sarah. But then, having a sensible conversation with her wasn't the norm lately. He might as well get what he had to say over with.

Yet as soon as he entered the bar lounge and saw her leaning against the bar talking to John, the breath caught in his throat. She was looking as vibrant as ever in a pillar-box red skirt and a white blouse patterned with huge poppies.

She noticed him straightaway. ‘So the wanderers have returned,' she said, fingers wrapped round a glass. ‘Did you find them?'

‘If I had, Pops would be the first to know.' He rested an elbow on the counter and said to John, ‘Celia's scarpered.'

‘Your mother?' he asked anxiously.

‘Seems to be bearing up. Mick's with her.'

His stepfather looked relieved but even so said, ‘Perhaps you can take over here and I'll go and talk to her? We have to decide what to tell Jack.'

‘Give us five minutes. I want a word with Sarah first.'

‘Don't mind me,' she said with an artificially bright smile. ‘I'll just go home. It's obvious you all want to have a family powwow.'

‘Fine!' said Ben, not daring to meet her eyes in case his resolve weakened. ‘You're showing real consideration. I'll see you to your car. Are you ready?'

‘Let me finish my drink! And why don't you have one yourself? A pint – or maybe an Irish whiskey would be better? It'd do you a world of good.'

‘I've had a pint,' he said, jingling the change in his pocket. ‘Hurry up, Sarah. I haven't got all night and I've been working all day.'

‘OK! Keep your hair on!' She drained the glass, and lifting her jacket from the back of a chair, click-clacked out of the room ahead of him.

‘So Katie's gone?' she declared when they stood outside on the pavement.

‘Why say it when you know it?' he said, glancing away from her and across the road.

‘I was just – I wanted – I know you're fond of her,' said Sarah lamely. ‘But I find the whole thing about her being Celia's daughter incredible. I think Aunt Kitty's a hero bringing up someone else's child.'

‘Ma loves Katie! Loved her from the moment she was born. It's corny but true that she brought sunshine into our lives, and me and our Mick are both determined to get her back.'

‘I think that's really noble of you both,' said Sarah, toying with her car keys.

‘Noble?'

‘I mean, you could both so easily not want her around – all the fuss Aunt Kitty made of her, and with her planning on handing the Arcadia over to her. After all, she's not really one of you, is she?'

Ben felt real disappointment in Sarah but her words had made him realise something. ‘Of course she's one of us! Ma brought her up. She belongs here. Anyway, haven't you even thought how she landed up living with us? Haven't you thought about Mick and Celia being sweethearts? They saw each other during the war. They made love. Use your brains. Why d'you think Celia left her with us?'

Sarah stared at him and he had a mental image of the cogs slowly turning in her brain. Her eyes widened. ‘She's Mick's daughter?'

‘Got it in one! Fancy her as a stepdaughter, do you? You hate each other, I believe.' He turned and took the front steps in a stride.

‘Ben!' Sarah hurried after him. ‘You can't just leave it like that! What's going to happen? What's Mick going to do?'

‘He's going to try and find them, of course.'

‘And
then
what's he going to do?' She stared up at him. They were standing very close on the top step.

‘Hadn't you better ask him? You've spent enough time in his company lately.' He fixed his eyes on a spot two inches above her head and tried not to breathe in the familiar fragrance of her favourite perfume, Coty's L'Aimant. ‘I've other things on my mind.'

‘Such as?' she demanded.

He said the first thing that came into his head. ‘There's Rita.' His gaze dropped and their eyes met as he forced himself to continue: ‘She's the receptionist at the hotel in Southport where Celia was working. She likes me just the way I am, which is good for both of us because I've no intention of changing – for her, for you, for anybody!' He turned and went inside.

‘Ben, wait!' She sounded so stricken that he weakened and faced her.

Sarah pressed herself against him and looped her arms about his neck. ‘Ben, Ben, I've made a terrible mistake.' Her dark eyes were drowning in tears. ‘I'm truly sorry for the things I said to you. I know I've behaved badly. I did fancy your Mick a little bit – but it's you I love, really. Honest, I do!'

He stared down at her and his brother's voice suddenly echoed in his head and he thought: If I capitulate now, how will I know if she really means what she says and it isn't just because she thinks she might have lost our Mick to Celia? Ben thought he loved her enough to cope with her insecurities and moods for life, but needed to know for sure that she loved him. He loosened her hands from about his neck and brought them down to hold between his. ‘I'll think about what you've said. But at the moment I'm too upset about Katie leaving to make any big decisions.'

‘Katie! It's always her,' said Sarah in a petulant voice. ‘She's no longer your responsibility but Mick's and Celia's! It's me that needs you, Ben.'

‘Ma needs me. And if you had any heart, Sarah, you'd be thinking about her. All her dreams were wrapped up in our Katie. How do you think she's feeling now?'

‘You know I've always been fond of your mother. She's always accepted me as I am.' Tears rolled down Sarah's cheeks and Ben was almost unmanned. He wanted to lick them away and kiss her better and have her arms go round him and for her to hold him in the way he desperately needed. Instead he dropped her hands and went inside and this time closed the door very firmly behind him.

Katherine pressed her forehead against the window as hailstones rattled on the glass like bullets from a machine-gun and wished herself out there where she could feel their icy sting upon her face. It would have been exhilarating to walk along the pier battling with the elements; much more fun than staying here in the boarding house where they had been for the last two weeks. The week before, they had gone to Rhyl and that had not been too bad because the weather had been better, but now it had changed again. Even so, the room was far too warm for her liking. But that was how Celia liked it, and who was she to complain? Celia had told her that when she was her age there had often been no coal to burn and no pennies for the gas meter so that now she was older she really appreciated the warmth of a good electric fire, even if she had to put shillings in the meter.

‘Come away from the window, Katherine. You'll catch your death standing there,' she said, putting down her book and reaching for the box on the floor. ‘What a summer! Have a chocolate, luv?' She gazed anxiously at her daughter. ‘You can afford to put on a bit of weight. I bought these as a special treat.'

‘No, thanks. I'm not hungry.' She had not felt really hungry since she had left the Arcadia. The first few days her throat had ached constantly as she fought against tears every time she thought of the family and not belonging to them any more. She had had to keep telling herself that they had deceived her and she was where she rightfully belonged now.

She moved away from the window and sat on one of the beds, thinking that Celia had bought so many special treat chocolates since last week that they were no longer special. ‘When are you going back to work?'

‘Soon,' she said, avoiding her daughter's eyes. ‘You do like this room, don't you?' Again there was that anxious note in her voice. ‘I thought it would be nice for us to have a little holiday.'

‘It's a nice room,' she replied, and it was, but it was not the Arcadia. She swallowed a sigh. The boarding house was situated in a row of terraces and their room overlooked a street with trees. ‘It's just that I'm thinking about money and wondering if I could get a job in the Seaview alongside you? I don't want you keeping me and using up all your savings.'

‘What savings? I've never had any money to save.' Celia chuckled. ‘Came into a little windfall, I did. I'm like me gran, I enjoy a little flutter.'

‘You mean, you won some money?'

She winked. ‘Somebody has to win. Why not me?'

‘Did you win much?' Katherine caught herself up quickly. ‘Sorry, I shouldn't have asked.' She was thinking of her own dwindling savings and having not written to the family yet because she did not know what to say.

‘It doesn't matter, luv. But I'm still not going to tell you. I don't like talking about money. Too many people boast of what they've got and what others haven't.'

That was true, thought Katherine, but it was not an answer to her problem. ‘It's just that I'm not used to sitting around doing nothing,' she murmured. ‘Why don't we go to the Seaview and see if they'll give me a job?'

‘No!' Celia pressed her lips tightly together.

‘Why not? It makes sense,' she said in coaxing tones. ‘With two wages coming in, we might be able to afford a decent flat.'

‘We can't go back to the Seaview,' muttered Celia. ‘Don't you see,
she
can trace us there! It'll be the first place they'll look and I don't want them finding out where we are. They might persuade you to go back to them.'

Katherine's heart leapt at the thought of the family looking for her, then plummeted again. She had to stick this out. Her eyes focused on her mother's face. ‘Have you given up your job there, then?'

Celia nodded. ‘I'll find us jobs, don't you worry.'

‘Can't we go looking now?'

She sighed. ‘Give it a rest, luv. I've worked all my life and I'm not young any more. D'you know, I've never had a holiday before so what's wrong with me taking a few weeks off now? I know of a few boarding houses who are always short of staff and they'll be glad to take us on later. Despite the weather, you can guarantee some people'll still be taking their holidays here. And there's the Southport Show at the end of this month and folk'll flock in to attend that.'

Katherine felt like saying, ‘But if we haven't a proper home and need to earn the money for rent and board, it's the wrong time for us to take a holiday!' Besides, she didn't trust the kind of places Celia mentioned. If an employer treated their staff well, they stayed. She had not said so but when she had gone out for some fresh air on her own yesterday she had had an unsuccessful go at finding a job for herself, thinking perhaps it might be better if she and Celia were not in each other's company all the time. Mostly, though, it was because she felt a need to be doing something. ‘I think I'll go for a walk,' she said now.

‘In this weather?' Celia glanced in the direction of the window and shivered.

‘Yes,' said Katherine firmly. ‘I've got to have some exercise or I'll go mad.'

‘You've got young legs, that's what it is,' said Celia, smiling. ‘I remember when I was your age, I could walk for hours and not get tired.'

‘Who did you walk with?' Katherine took a comb from her handbag and, gazing into the mirror on the chest of drawers, managed to twist her long hair up into a knot. She applied a dusting of face powder and lipstick and then went over to the window and rubbed a clear patch in the condensation. ‘The sun's coming out. There's a rainbow over towards the sea.'

‘That's a good sign,' said her mother, yawning. ‘I learnt that in Sunday School. God places them there to remind Him never to destroy mankind again. That's why there's still some bad 'uns about, so you watch out for them! You've been protected living at the Arcadia. Now you're out in the big bad world and, I can tell you, there's plenty of people around ready to knock a person down.'

Katherine thought, I wasn't that protected that I don't know there's evil in the world. Even so she said, ‘I'll be careful.' She checked the seams of her stockings were straight before taking a yellow raincoat from the hook on the back of the door. ‘See you later.'

Once outside she experienced an enormous sense of release and almost skipped down the road, breathing deeply of the cool damp air which tasted different from the Liverpool variety; despite all the talk in the
Echo
about cleaning it up, it still had a gritty texture to it sometimes. Tears pricked her eyes again as she thought of the family but she told herself not to be such a wet. It was not as if she was never going to see them again. She could go back anytime she liked – but she knew she wouldn't. Not just yet anyway. She needed to come to terms with who she was, now she was with her natural mother. Celia did need someone to take care of her much more than Ma did; she had three men to look after her. But Katherine
had
to find a job!

After a bit of a walk she came to Hesketh Park and the Clarence Hotel. With the sea, a golf course and park nearby, it was in a good position. She remembered seeing the hotel advertised in the Southport Guide left lying around in Ben's bedroom. ‘
Unanimous verdict – best value obtainable
' it had had blazoned at the bottom of the page. She had wondered who it was who had worded that banner recommendation, and drawing on the confidence of one brought up in the business, ran up the steps, only slowing down when she saw the woman arranging flowers in the lobby.

‘May I speak to Mrs Ashton, please?' asked Katherine.

‘You have a reservation?'