A Daughter's Choice (23 page)

‘You'd have lent him it?'

‘He's my brother,' said Ben shortly. ‘And he's studied bloody hard for the last few years and I've seen little of him. It's no wonder he sees Uncle Daniel's farm as Paradise. Sarah told me they love the bones of him there.'

‘I'm sure they do. We were very grateful to Daniel and Becky for having him.'

‘Sure. But what happens when he comes back here? No spoiling for him then because there was Katie and the pair of you doting on her. No wonder he resented her. I feel sorry for the kid!'

‘Have you finished?' Kitty's face had a pinched look to it. ‘He is
not
a kid! He's twenty-four, and at his age I'd been working for years!'

‘So had I! But it was Pops who wanted him to be a doctor, just like
you
wanted Katie to take over here.'

‘That's what he said. But what's wrong with that? You thought it was a good idea … you all did.' Her voice was trembling and she sat down abruptly.

Immediately he was ashamed of himself for upsetting her. ‘Sorry, Ma. I'd better get cleaned up and changed if I'm going to wait on.' He brushed her brow with his lips and hurried out.

Kitty sighed and dropped her head into her hands, wishing she could run away. Tears trickled between her fingers. She had always loved the hotel business but since Katherine had gone, she had lost heart. Why couldn't the girl have written, just a few lines to say she was OK? Surely Kitty was entitled to that? But young people these days had different ideas on how they should behave towards their elders. She thought with an unexpected fierce anger: She owes me something! She mightn't be Mick's daughter but I still gave her so much. Oh, Katie girl, where are you? Just as suddenly her rage ebbed, leaving her exhausted.

She lifted her eyes and gazed about the basement, feeling a loathing for it, wondering how she could have been so content living here for over thirty years. There were so few of this world's goods in it because so much of their money had gone into improving and making the hotel a success. Suddenly she decided she would get shut of the place. What had she been thinking of, wanting the same kind of life for her girl? Work, work, work! That was what
her
life had been! She had to get away! Perhaps she would go to Ireland. The O'Neills might have lied about Jack being there if they were as fond of him as Ben said. But now there was a meal to prepare so she had better get up to the kitchen.

Sarah arrived back at the Arcadia in a breathless state and found Ben in Reception. ‘Why are you home so early?' she demanded, her cheeks glowing with exertion.

‘That's a nice welcome!' His blue eyes flicked over her face. ‘Aren't you in need of help tonight? I thought you'd be glad to see me.'

‘Of course I'm glad to see you,' she stammered. ‘It's just that you took me by surprise.'

‘Obviously.' He moved from behind Reception and began to help her off with her coat. ‘You look flustered,' he murmured against her ear. ‘You've got to remember, Sal, you're not getting any younger and shouldn't be dashing round the shops when you've work to do here.'

‘I'm younger than you,' she retorted.

‘Don't remind me! Remember when we were seven and you were mad at me because I was a few months older?'

She glanced up at him. ‘They were happy days.'

A smile tugged at his mouth. ‘Yeah, they sure were.'

‘Remember us pretending to be detectives when we were eleven and how you borrowed Mick's mack and trilby? I used to love it when we dressed up. Remember us playing doctor and nurses with that stick of limp celery?'

‘That was your idea for a stethoscope, but then you made that joke and were in stitches.' He sighed. ‘The trouble is, we're not kids any more and life's got too serious, what with Katie,' he groaned, ‘and Jack's still missing and Ma's upset. I feel I have to do something to find them before I can think of myself.'

‘I saw Katie!' she burst out.

‘You what!' He gripped both her arms and his eyes blazed. ‘Where?'

‘That's why I'm all flustered. I spotted her outside Lewis's but before I could speak to her this fella came up and she went off with him.'

‘Where did they go?'

‘I thought she might have been coming here but they went up by the cathedral. They might still be there.'

‘Bloody hell, Sal! Why didn't you tell me straight away?'

‘You didn't give me a chance! What are you going to do? She might still come here.'

He hesitated on his way to the front door. ‘Wouldn't she have come here first if she was going to do that?'

‘I don't know. Anyway there'll be someone here if she does come while we go and look for her,' said Sarah.

Their eyes met and his face softened. ‘If you're coming with me, you can get those high heels off or you'll be holding me back.'

‘Give me five seconds!'

She hurried behind Reception where she kept a pair of flatties. He was already outside by the time she'd put them on and grabbed her coat. He seized her hand and they ran. It was exhilarating and she felt like a child again. ‘Remember Green-teethed Ginny?' she panted as they jogged in the direction of Rodney Street. ‘How she was supposed to haunt the cemetery?'

‘I remember you calling me a coward because I didn't want to go down there.'

‘You did, though. My hero!' She planted a kiss on his chin and his hand tightened on hers and suddenly they were oblivious to everyone else as they slowed to a walk.

‘I love you, Sal,' he said unsteadily.

‘I love you too,' she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.

He kissed her mouth gently and murmured, ‘We'll just find Katie and then you and me are gonna make some plans.'

She nodded, knowing this was no time to feel jealous over his still wanting to find the girl, but she held his hand firmly, unable to bear to let him go.

They circumnavigated the cathedral and its graveyard without seeing any sign of Katherine. Sarah knew he was disappointed so kept quiet as they returned to the Arcadia, hoping for all the family's sake that Katherine would be there.

She was not and Ben did not have the heart to mention her to his mother. Sarah squeezed his hand and said, ‘It was worth a try. Maybe she came so far and then felt she couldn't come in – was unsure of her welcome?'

‘Maybe,' he said.

‘I'm sorry, Ben,' she said ruefully. ‘I should have spoken to her, but with her being with someone I wasn't sure what to do.'

‘What was the fella like?' he asked.

She described Patrick as best she could but it didn't get them far. ‘At least it looks like she's getting on with her life,' he said with a twist to his mouth. ‘Let's forget her for now. Shall I carry your parcels upstairs.'

‘Thanks!' Sarah's heart was suddenly light.

She went with him, hoping that before they made for the kitchen they could talk about themselves for a few moments. She needed to know for sure he had really meant it when he'd said he loved her. Ben dumped her parcels on the bedroom floor and sniffed. ‘You've made it your own. I've always liked that perfume.'

‘I didn't mean to take Katie's bedroom over.' She hesitated. ‘It's only since I've worked here that I've realised just how much she did.'

‘I'm glad to hear you say that, but you've done your fair whack since you've been here. I'm proud of you, Sal.' His eyes were full of warmth as they rested on her face.

Tears shimmered in hers. ‘Oh Ben, why did we ever fall out? It was all my fault! I wanted to change you and that was stupid. You're kind and generous and easy-going – and perfect. I never loved your Mick.'

‘And I've never even been out with Rita.' One giant stride brought him close to her and his arms went round her. ‘Marry me, Sal?'

‘Yes, please. I want to be with you for ever.'

They kissed passionately and went on kissing, just could not get enough of each other. Everything else was forgotten. He lifted her up and carried her over to the bed. He sat astride her with his knees pressing against her thighs and they gazed deeply into each other's eyes.

‘You said we'd never even made love properly. Well, I'm going to do it now, Sal, because I want you really to belong to me. If that's all right with you?'

‘Oh, Ben!' she whispered, and brought his head down to hers. She wondered if this was the first time for him. They were both trembling and she guessed that once they went all the way he would never leave her. With him the commitment would be for life. She unfastened his shirt and trousers and soon they were both naked. He was not completely gentle with her as she had expected, but passionate when it came to taking her. It felt so right and the sex was so delicious that she marvelled at her own stupidity for putting this moment off for so long.

It was not until Sarah was in the bathroom afterwards, staring into her luminous eyes and noting the softness of her mouth, that she thought about it happening on Katherine's bed. It seemed fitting somehow. She owed the girl for this moment and knew she would never feel the same antagonism towards her again if she came home.

Katherine had no intention of returning to the Arcadia. She was enraged. Her heart had leapt into her throat when she caught sight of Sarah and Ben but it had come as a shock that neither of them had noticed her. They had had eyes only for each other and had even kissed in the street! She felt choked, thinking about it days later. She had prayed for Ben to see her but nothing had happened so she had given up on God as well.

She stepped into the new skirt she had bought that day and pulled it with some difficulty over her hips, easing inside the waist band a black cotton sweater. She clipped on a waspie belt before gazing at her reflection in the full-length mirror. Her eyes wore a wounded expression and she realised she must have looked like that when it happened because Patrick had asked her what was wrong. Perceptive of him, she thought. A deep sigh escaped her and despite wearing a roll-on she sucked in her stomach because she had bought the skirt a size too small so it would fit really snugly. Too snugly.

She hobbled over to the secondhand chest of drawers painted flame orange and picked up a comb. She swept her hair up into a ponytail then fastened on a pair of round black plastic earrings before applying mascara and orange lipstick. She shuffled backwards and picked up a chiffon scarf, which almost but not quite matched the lipstick, and fastened it about her neck so the knot was at the side. Then she slipped her feet into a new pair of red high heels and looked at her reflection again. That was better, she thought. Bright and cheerful is the name of the game!

‘You're not going out like that, are you?' said Celia.

Katherine jumped and turned round from the waist only. ‘I wish you wouldn't creep up on me like that,' she said crossly, taking tiny steps over to the bedside chair and picking up her jacket.

‘You're never going to get down the stairs.'

‘Little ray of sunshine, aren't you?' she said sarcastically.

‘You are in a mood! I can't do with moods. But you'll see …'

Katherine went along the landing until she reached the stairs and knew then that Celia was right. She was watching, which infuriated Katherine even more. She was getting as bad as Ma, the way she fussed, she thought, and felt weepy all over again. They didn't want her, that was for sure. Otherwise Ben wouldn't have looked so happy. But she was not going to think about him and Sarah.

She tilted her chin, determined to prove Celia and the invisible Ma wrong by going out dressed as she was. She put a hand on the banister rail and jumped with both feet together. By taking tiny jumps in such a manner she managed to reach the living room, slightly breathless but triumphant. ‘See!' she said to Celia, then her legs gave way and she sank on to the floor.

‘You're a right mad alec,' said Mrs Evans, chuckling.

Celia shook her head. ‘I'm not owning up that she's mine.'

Katherine stuck her tongue out at her and somehow managed to get up. She glanced at the clock and saw it was time she was on her way. She checked there was money in her handbag and swayed out of the room. Celia, who was going dancing with a woman she had met at her dancing class, followed, hoping nothing would come of Katherine's wearing a skirt which she considered completely outrageous.

Katherine was determined she was going to have a helluva good time this evening. She would flirt and have drinks when customers offered. She was not going to give a damn what people thought of her.

By ten o'clock the pub was crowded and Katherine had downed four Babychams and a couple of Cherry Bs and was getting more and more melancholy, thinking how different things would have been if Mick had been her father and he and Celia had married. She felt annoyed that he wasn't and her mood changed until she felt quite pugnacious. It was Saturday and there had been a win for first-division Everton. Their fans were happy but some Liverpool supporters were not and were getting rowdier and ruder the more pints they downed.

‘Keep it down, gentlemen,' said the landlord in a weary voice. ‘There's ladies present.'

‘Show me one,' said a young Liverpudlian with a cheeky grin.

‘Thus no ladies 'ere, whack!' muttered another morosely, jutting out his thick lips. ‘Only ol' frilly knickers here,' he said, indicating the chief barmaid. ‘And the other one thinks she's queen o' the midden,' he added, twisting on his stool and staring at Katherine, who was collecting empties. ‘Give us another pint of mother's milk and make sure yer fill it to the top this time, girl.'

‘Listen, slobbergob, I always do,' she said belligerently, remembering this supporter from another Saturday when the roars from Anfield had been heard in the shop. ‘Your trouble is, you think you're God's gift to women.'