A Dream for Hannah (32 page)

Inside, she browsed for a few minutes and found the religion section. Most of the titles and authors were unfamiliar to her until she saw a copy of a book she had loved in school a few years ago. She picked up the paperback copy of
Pilgrim’s Progress
by John Bunyan and opened it to read a few lines. Then, as she started to return it to the shelf, she thought of Sam. She had loved this book so much and thought perhaps he would too. Maybe it would give them something to talk about together.

She took the book to the counter, paid the clerk, and walked back to the bus station with renewed hope.

At first, the whine of the Greyhound bus helped soothe Hannah’s nerves. It was only later on the long trip home that the drone bothered her. It had been some time since anything had seemed so endless to her. Town after town, stop after stop, and still the bus moved on slowly.

Finally, by dusk on the third day, the bus approached Nappanee from the west on highway 6, where the sight of Amish Acres sharply brought back the fact that Hannah was home. For much of the long trip, Hannah had thought about Jake and the fresh pain in her heart. But now she would have to push that aside.

She was home now. She was back where the land was semi-flat and houses could be seen everywhere, certainly not Montana. Yet, here was where her problem with unrealistic dreams started, and perhaps here she could end it once and for all. Surely Sam looked forward to her return, and she would just be happy for that.

Hannah saw her mother before the bus came completely to a halt. Kathy stood outside the station, her white head covering and plain dress clearly distinguished her in the small crowd that stood waiting.

At the sight of her mother, Hannah felt the first stir of joy rise up in her. Thankfully Sam wasn’t here at the station to spoil the moment. His mouth hanging wide open at her appearance wasn’t a sight she wished to see just yet. The time would come for that all too soon, she supposed.

Hannah stepped off the bus and saw her mother’s face light up. She waved and then rushed over to embrace her mother.

“It’s so good to see you!” Kathy exclaimed. “How was the trip?”

“Whiny,” Hannah said and laughed. “It was okay for a while, but three days of it is a lot to bear.”

“Jah,
I remember how it was,” Kathy said. “Well, now, tell me how everything is at Betty’s.” Hannah hardly knew where to begin.

“Let’s see,” Hannah said, taking a deep breath, “Betty said to tell you ‘hi,’ and that they are really happy you let me come out for the summer.”

“Did it go well with the horse riding?” Kathy asked.

Hannah grinned. “I think so. I enjoyed it, and I think they made gobs of money. Betty never said how much, but it must have been more than they expected.”

“Well, we’re glad to help,” Kathy said. “They can certainly use it. In the West it’s harder to make money than here in the industrial East.”

“But it’s so beautiful out there!” Hannah gushed. “The mountains, the rivers, and even the air are all wonderful.”

“It sounds like you fell in love with the country,” Kathy said, “and I hear you fell in love with someone else too.”

Hannah was sure she turned white. How had Betty so quickly passed the news on of Jake?

“It’s not that terrible. Sam’s a nice boy,” Kathy said.

Oh, she means Sam
—
not Jake!
Hannah collected herself. “Well, we’ve been writing all summer.”

“So how does it stand by now?”

Hannah felt her face grow even paler. She must not disappoint her mother now, not after all she had been through. God had helped her out, and she must now do her part. “Well,” she said quietly, “I’ve not seen him since I’ve been away. It’s hard to say.”

“I guess that will change now that you’re back,” her mother said. “Has Sam asked to see you?”

Hannah nodded. “He wants me to be his steady.”

“And?” Kathy seemed positive about Hannah’s prospects with Sam.

“I said yes.”

“Well, Sam’s a nice boy,” Kathy said. “Your dad has always liked him, and so I’m glad to hear it.”

Hannah nodded again and tried not to look too glum.

When they arrived home, there was the flurry of greetings from her siblings, and then she got settled into her room again.

Her dad was pleased to see her and asked for details about Steve’s logging in Montana. He was even more pleased when Hannah told him that Sam had asked her to be his steady.

“I’m glad to hear you are going with such a solid boy,” Roy said. “If it comes to something more serious, Sam is well placed financially and comes from a good family.”

Now Hannah did blush, which apparently was the response both Kathy and Roy were waiting for. They appeared glad to see her on solid ground after the Peter episode.

After supper she went upstairs, claiming to be tired from her trip. She walked over to the familiar window, the very one she had climbed out of to be with Peter. Much had happened since that sad night. Now the new moon hung just above the horizon to the west. The little sliver glittered in the sky, the rest of the circle appearing as only a faint outline.

Hannah noticed that the long tree limb that had hung over the roof was gone. For this she was glad.

It reminded her of how her old life seemed to her—gone. Peter was no more, and even her memory of him was fading. Now, God had helped her get away from Jake when her own strength had failed her. From here on out, she would be free from dreams and take the opportunity of a life with Sam Knepp while she had it.

Safe. That’s what she considered Sam, and making the choice to see him wasn’t even such a hard choice to make, now that she was home. Sam was a good boy, a hard worker, and he would inherit the farm. Why not take the blessings God offered her and be happy? Many girls would jump at the chance. Mary Troyer, for one, had always been nice to Sam. But then Mary was nice to everyone.

God had helped her, and she would now help herself. And with that, she climbed into bed and slept soundly all night long.

Hannah got up in the morning ready for the day, eager to get back into the swing of things. But right after breakfast, her mother pulled her aside and said, “Before we begin the day’s work, we need to talk about something.”

Hannah wasn’t sure what it could be but sat down on the kitchen table bench to listen.

Kathy sat down across from her. “I want to talk about Sam,” Kathy began.

Hannah waited.

“I just want to make sure that you understand…that we’re not pushing you into anything with him just because of your mistake with Peter.”

Hannah wasn’t sure what to say, and so she simply nodded.

“This should be your own decision. Even though your father likes Sam a lot—as do I—you’re the one who has to live with him.”

“Yes,” Hannah said, “but I
have
made up my own mind.”

“Well,” Kathy said, “then I wouldn’t want to interfere. But you shouldn’t do this just because you might think someone else wants you to.”

Surprised at her mother’s words, Hannah said, “I went through a lot out in Montana, and this seems to be the right thing to do.”

“I’m sure you did.”

“Now the way seems clear. I want to follow God and His direction.”

“And His direction is Sam?” Kathy asked.

“Yes,” she said, her voice firm, “the way that I am to go seems to be clear.”

“Then I hope for the best,” Kathy said. “If that’s settled, let’s get to work.”

Hannah was relieved that this discussion and this decision of hers were over. Now life could go on the way it was supposed to. She would see Sam on Sunday, and God would be with her, she was sure.

Jake arrived home in time to help with the oat shocking, which was already in full swing. The teams of Amish men and boys moved from place to place in preparation for the fall threshing season. They took turns, a few days at each place, depending on the grain’s ripeness and the weather.

Jake pitched in and was glad even for his itchy arms after the long days in the fields. He threw and stacked with great vigor the bundles the binder dropped. Behind him he left little shocks that resembled miniature tents across the fields. He did them right so the wind or gravity wouldn’t pull them down.

He began to notice that many of the boys were eying him with admiration. Apparently they thought his trip out West had done him a lot of good.
If they only knew,
Jake thought but said nothing.

At lunchtime a huge meal was served at whatever place they happened to be that day, and Jake ate with abandonment. The work made him hungry and compensated for his otherwise lack of desire for food.

Jake was glad to be back home during the hardworking days, but the evenings and nights were another matter. Hannah always came to his mind, and, yet, that was a hopeless cause. She had a boyfriend and had written to him all summer. That was just the way it was. He would have to find a way to forget that part of his time in Montana.

Being home was also hard when he heard the news that Eliza and his cousin were to be married in November. His mother had made the announcement on his first day back.

“I thought someone should tell you,” she said, her voice gentle.

Jake nodded and took shelter in silence. It was safer there. Whenever someone wanted to talk about his summer in Montana, he gave the simple basics, no more, and, of course, never a mention of Hannah.

Bishop Andy talked to Jake after church the second Sunday he was home, wanting to know more about his stay in Montana. What he really wanted to find out, Jake knew, was whether or not he had found a community there to become a part of. Jake told him about Bishop Nisley and even gave him the address in case he wanted to ask Bishop Nisley anything. And he knew that letters between the two bishops would indeed flow back and forth. There would be no secrets about his time in Montana. That’s just the way it was.

Twenty-nine

On her first Saturday night home, Hannah heard the sound of buggy wheels on the driveway just before dark. She suspected who it was, and her mother confirmed it with a look out the window by saying, “Look who’s here!”

Hannah knew she’d have to face him sooner or later.
Might as well be now,
she thought. Remembering the book she had purchased for Sam, she ran upstairs to get it and then walked out to the porch and waited for Sam to swing around to the hitching post. After he had his horse tied, she walked out to meet him.

Unable to believe his good fortune, he still wore an astonished look on his face, but his mouth stayed shut. For this Hannah was thankful. Had he finally overcome that habit? Hannah hoped so.

“Good evening,” she said. “I thought you might stop by.”

Sam seemed at a loss for words. Here at long last was Hannah, back again.
His
Hannah.

She smiled to encourage him, which seemed to make things worse.

“Good evening,” he finally managed. “I just thought I’d stop by and see you before Sunday.”

She nodded, not certain how she could help him become comfortable around her.

“Those were awful nice letters,” Sam ventured. “Thank you.”