And before she’d actually finished speaking, Jane marched off, already on her cell phone to the powers that be.
Stunned, Olivia turned to find Ken, wisely covering his
holy-crap
grin with a hand over his mouth, pretending to rub his gray, stubbly jaw.
“This,” she said, as she began to hyperventilate, “is no laughing matter.
This
is the part where my life flashes before my eyes and I die a horrible and humiliating death before a crowd of thousands.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Liv. There won’t be more’n two hundred or so.”
She choked out a laugh. “Still…”
Ken cleared his throat and lifted the saddle pad onto Jinx’s back. “There’s nothin’ for it now. You’re just gonna have to suck it up, get on Jinx here, and go do what you were meant to do all along. This here is fate steppin’ in where courage fears to tread.”
“Thank you. I’m cured now. That’s all I really needed. Jane and fate and you, kicking my butt.” She leaned her forehead against Jinx’s withers. “How can I do this? I haven’t ridden a horse in—”
“Two years, six months and twelve days,” Ken finished for her.
She stared up at him. “You’re… counting?”
“Counting down’s more like it. ‘Til today. Because
this
right here, is the end of that dry spell.” He fitted Jinx’s saddle on and cinched him up. “You been up on this horse in your mind’s eye right along with Lucy every time. It’s like breathing. The memory of it don’t leave you. It’s all right there for the takin’, Liv. Just take it.”
Olivia’s heart contracted, watching him. And she suddenly got it that he wasn’t
like
family anymore, he
was
family. She kissed him on the cheek and let him hold her for a minute before she glanced up in the stands to see the rest of them, Kate and Eve, and her mom and Reed waving at her. And she even caught sight of Carol Bingley in the crowd. Maybe, in the end, that was what turned the tide.
“All right,” she muttered. “All right, then. I’m doing it.” She pulled out her cell phone and fiddled with the music, then handed it to Ken. “That’s what I want. Not the other.”
“You got it.” He offered her his hands and a leg up.
She exhaled and settled her knee into the cup of his hands and swung up on Jinx. She leaned over his neck and clung to his mane. Her breath came in short, scared bursts, but Jinx stayed calm as a lily pad while she straightened and settled herself on his back. “Okay,” she said. “There.”
Step one. If I die of embarrassment, so be it.
Ken nodded at her with a smile. Olivia thought of Jake. She wished he could see her now. Finally up on her horse, toughing it out. She thought he’d be proud of her if he were here.
But he was in Seattle. Just as well. If she failed, at least he wouldn’t witness that, too.
Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.
She turned to look at Ken’s beautiful quarter horse, Gracie, waiting patiently nearby, swishing flies with her tail. She grinned at Ken. “So I might as well go out with a bang, right? If you’re game, here’s what we’ll do.”
*
J
ane McCollough tapped
the microphone on the podium with her finger. “Is this thing on? Oh, yes, it seems to be… uh, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this special fair presentation by Ms. Olivia Canaday. We’re thrilled you’ve joined us today. She has a special treat in store for you. Most of you know she is a world-class equestrian rider who got her start right here in Marietta, competing in local events. Her career took her to the United States Equestrian Team and a stellar career as a trainer and teacher, working with all kinds of horses from Warmbloods to rescued Mustangs. Now she’s back in Marietta and we are all the recipients of her talents today. Please give a warm welcome to Ms. Olivia Canaday of Lane’s End Ranch!”
Olivia rode Jinx out to applause in a beautiful, extended trot and circled the arena before pausing at the center.
“Thank you,” she said and heard her voice echo on the speaker system. “This is Jinx. Take a bow, Jinx.” This was one of Jinx’s tricks which he did with finesse. “Jinx is a Warmblood,” she said, urging him into a
piaffe
, which was a trot in place, that was, even to her, still very impressive.
The movements came back to her just as Ken told her they would. And Jinx responded as if they’d been working together all along. “Warmbloods are commonly used in international dressage competition for both their size and temperament. You may have seen a dressage trial before or heard that it’s about as exciting as watching oatmeal boil.
“But originally, it was created to train military horses in battle. To make the horse more maneuverable on the battlefield. And while it’s done with an English saddle—or postage stamp saddle as you cowboys like to call it—the moves are not all that different from what you must teach a quarter-horse who works with cows. In the end, it’s about communication between horse and rider, and there’s really nothing more important when you’re on a horse. I’m communicating with him through my legs and hips and hands, but instead of telling you about it, why don’t I just show you a little freestyle dressage?”
Ken cued the music and the first song in a montage of songs she’d programmed began to play. Country music was the last thing the crowd expected to hear when Brad Paisley’s
The Riverbank
started playing and Jinx did his thing. He did it all for her, from passages to flying changes to half-passes diagonally across the arena floor. Along the way, she guided him through gates, over low barriers, and dancing as only a horse like Jinx could dance as she collected rings on a long pole, just for fun.
Fun! Olivia thought. She was actually having fun!
The crowd loved it, and clapped to the beat from the stands. When the Band Perry’s ‘
Done
’ began and Jinx did a freestyle pirouette they shouted and cheered. And when Ken entered the arena on Gracie and they had a showdown to beat of Darius Rucker’s ‘
Wagon Wheel
,’ spinning like two dervishes at the center of the ring in opposite directions, riding diagonals in unison and cantering in opposing circles only to meet in the middle, she knew she didn’t have to worry about utter failure. They liked it! And when they finished, Olivia looked at Ken and laughed, and they lifted their hats to the audience.
That was when she saw him. Standing near the entrance rail. Smiling at her.
Jake
.
Beside him, Deke and Monday, who held a purple, stuffed elephant in her mouth.
*
Jake felt his
heart take a tumble as he watched her ride like she’d been born to it. And she practically had been. But seeing her on a horse again eased an ache inside him, or maybe generated one, he couldn’t be sure which. Whatever was about to happen between them, he was glad she’d found her courage again. He supposed her nerve was what she’d been looking for all along.
He, on the other hand, had almost lost his, but instead of going to Seattle as he’d planned, Deke had come and picked him up, taken him home, and gone directly with him to the river. Along with Monday and the falcons, he and Deke had fished the rest of the day, not even talking, just sending the line in and out of the water.
In. And out. A meditation. Or a prayer.
Most of his best decisions got made, standing in the cool Yellowstone, hip-deep in water filled with trout. Something about the smell of the vibrant Montana grasses, and the sharp memory of all the other days spent that way, centered him. It hadn’t even mattered that they’d caught nothing, because what he’d found there was more important.
Yeah, he’d been mad at her. Disappointed. Maybe hurt was more accurate. But standing in the water, he started to understand what she was trying to tell him back at the car the other night. And she wasn’t wrong.
He realized she’d spent the last ten or twelve years answering to everyone but herself and her confidence had been chipped away to nothing. The fear that had kept her from riding, the thing she loved so much, wasn’t something he could fix for her or drive away like he could her ex-husband. Only she could do that. And what stood between them wasn’t so much her fear of what could become of him and her, together, as it was her need to prove to herself who
she
could be, to herself.
And he saw now that she was so much stronger than anyone, including him, knew. Today, in front of him and all the people she cared about, she’d pulled her courage up, from the dark place where it had been hiding. And she’d pulled it up all on her own. And he couldn’t be more proud of her.
He had three texts from her in his phone and he wasn’t too bullheaded to find out what she wanted in person, because texts were not the place to begin
or
end a relationship.
He knew the moment she saw him and he watched her double take and bite her lip. Beside him, Monday woofed past the stuffed elephant in her mouth and wagged her tail because she saw Liv, too. But he held her leash tight so she wouldn’t spook the horses.
As the exhibition ended, Olivia brought her horse to a stop and raised her arm as the audience quieted. “Thank you, so much,” she said over the loudspeaker, “it’s been a little while since I’ve done that and Jinx, Ken, Gracie, and I all appreciate you all being such a great audience.
“I just want to add a few things before we go.” Jinx pranced rhythmically around the arena as she talked. “Whether you work with horses, or ride them, or just love them, communication is the key. Learning to talk to your horse with a gentle nudge of your knee, or shift of your weight, is a bit like a magical language you learn to speak together. It’d be easier if they could talk, of course, but there are ways of letting them know they’re your teammate.”
She looked right at Jake then and no one else. “Miscommunication happens between horse and rider. You want them to go left, but, inadvertently, you tell them to go right. But if you’re lucky enough to have a good horse that loves you, he’ll give you a second chance to tell him what you really mean. You learn to trust each other. Know what’s important and what’s not.”
“You have each other’s backs. And when you’re a team, there’s no telling how far you’ll go.” Her voice broke a little on that last part.
“Thank you everyone for coming. Give your horses some love, and have a great rest of your day at the fair!”
The stands erupted in applause and she and Ken cantered out of the arena, but as Ken kept going, Olivia pulled Jinx up and stopped beside Jake.
Her mouth was quivering a little as she smiled down at him. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” he answered.
“I thought you went to Seattle.”
He shrugged and gave her a little grin. “I thought you didn’t ride anymore.”
She nodded as tears sprang to her eyes. “Took me long enough, huh?”
“I’d say it’s perfect timing. So proud of you, Liv.”
“Oh, Jake—I’m so sorry—” She leaned down and kissed him full on the lips.
Jake kissed her back with all the pent-up emotion that had been roiling through him the last few days. No kiss had ever tasted sweeter. She put her hands on his shoulders and he pulled her off Jinx until she was flush against him with her arms around his neck.
“I was such an idiot to let you go,” she murmured against his ear. “But I didn’t want you to go. I wanted you to stay. See? I’m a terrible communicator. Even with the people I love. Can you forgive me? Give me another chance?”
He answered, kissing her face, her eyes, her mouth again.
He brushed her hair out of her eyes. “Did you just say you loved me?”
She brushed at her cheek with one knuckle. “Allow me to restate: I love you, Jake Lassen. I’ve always loved you, even if I called it something else. I was a fool to worry about what anyone else thought about it. Let ‘em say whatever they want. I do need you. And want you. And if that means you save me from my own foolishness, then thank God for it. You’re my team, my rock, and I can’t imagine my life without you. Let’s be
us
. I want that more than I can say.”
Jake replied with a deep, hallelujah kiss so there’d be no mistaking his answer. Beside him, Monday whole-heartedly agreed and jumped up on them with that stuffed elephant still in her mouth.