A False Proposal (23 page)

Tears overflowed and rolled down her cheeks. She sat for a long time, crying and sipping at her drink between sobs.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Adam, so ebullient after last night, felt his spirits sinking the closer he got to Longmere. Over and over he reminded himself to think only of Cassie and how she’d turned his world upside down and sideways. It had been coming on gradually, ever since he’d first seen her that day Jack had brought him to Linford House. He was in love with her; he knew that now. He wanted to marry her. Visiting his father was, he hoped, a means of discovering if he was destined to end up the same way, or if there was hope for him and he could propose to Cass.

This time Wesley opened the door before Adam even knocked. Someone must have seen him riding down the drive.

“How are you, Wesley?” The old man appeared confused by the question. Adam passed him his hat and gloves and said, “Is my father in?”

Adam found Benjamin Grey seated at his desk, spectacles on his nose, poring over a ledger book. Was he trying to find a sum of money that had been overlooked? When he raised his head and saw Adam, he slammed the book shut. “To what do I owe the honor?” he said petulantly.

Before answering, Adam asked Wesley if there was anybody around who could make them a cup of tea. His father said, “None for me; I’m drinking whiskey.”

“Bring it anyway, Wesley, with some sandwiches, biscuits, whatever you’ve got. I’m starving. Is Hugh around?” Adam asked his father.

“He’s out at one of the farms, helping a tenant with a new roof.” The old man chuckled, then said, “He’s not hiding from you.”

Adam thought that was a strange comment, but he wasn’t about to rise to the bait. “Hugh came to see me in town recently.” Adam finally sat down, although his parent hadn’t invited him to. “While he was there, he said a few things that puzzled me. I wanted to ask you about them.”

His father carefully removed his spectacles and set them down. “I have a question for you first. Are you still determined to marry the Linford chit?”

Adam barked a caustic laugh. “I am.” At least now it wasn’t a lie.

“I heard Broxton wouldn’t take you. You could fix that by marrying his girl.”

“He’s had a change of heart. He wants me to stand as his man after all. Unlike you, he understands there’s no chance of my marrying Eleanor.”

His father’s color rose, and he started to say something. But Wesley came in with the tea tray. Adam was impressed that it was neatly laid out, with fresh sandwiches and apple tarts on a platter next to the teapot.

Adam poured, recalling that his father took his tea plain. He put some sandwiches and a tart on a plate for him as well, then stood up and placed everything on the desk.

“I said I didn’t want any.”

“Well, maybe you’ll change your mind.” Adam tucked into the fare, washing everything down with tea. After a minute, he noticed his father sneaking a sandwich from the plate and eating it rather quickly. He drank some tea also.

“Say what you came for, Adam. I haven’t got all day.”

Adam thought possibly that his father did, but he decided not to offer his opinion on the matter. Brushing the crumbs from his hands, he said, “How did you and Hugh get on after Deborah and I left?”

His parent looked at Adam coldly. “Why are you asking now, after all this time?”

“I need to know, Father. Did you keep on with your tawdry pursuits, and did you get Hugh involved?”

The older man didn’t answer, but got to his feet and poured himself a brandy. He swallowed a long draught and then turned to Adam. “You’ve never cared before.” A shank of his long hair fell over one eye and he shoved it out of the way.

“Please, just answer my question.” Adam was close to losing his temper, but knew that would ruin any chance he had of learning anything. So he forced himself to remain calm, his hands gripping the arms of the chair.

His father seemed to be thinking over what to tell him, because he said nothing for a long time. Eventually, he refilled his glass and resumed his seat. “Deborah leaving and taking you nearly killed me.”

Christ, how could he not respond to that? Did his father have any idea how it had affected Deborah? How she had cried for Hugh every night for months? But he maintained his silence, jaws clamped tight as a vise.

“I knew if I wanted to keep Hugh, I’d have to change. So no more women, at least not here. I gave up drinking and gambling, too, until Hugh was older. He kept on with his tutor. Your brother is a smart man, could have gone to university, but chose not to. Said it wasn’t for him.

“I started gambling again at the tavern in the village, five or six years ago, mostly with Broxton. He goaded me. Always loved your mother, you see. Couldn’t stand that she’d married me and not him.”

“What?” Adam couldn’t keep the shock from his voice. “Why have I never heard this before?”

“How many parents make their children privy to their love affairs?”

Adam leaned back in his chair, stunned by the revelations. “Why did you do it? Flaunt those women under Deborah’s nose and try to force Hugh and me…”

For the first time, Adam sensed despair in his father’s eyes. “Because I was not a fit husband or father. I always felt your mother was above my touch, and it made me miserable. I behaved in such a way that she soon was. And I couldn’t stop myself until it was too late.”

Adam knew, then, that his father was a weak man, and that they were in no way alike. He would never behave like that to Cassie. By all that was holy, he would never risk losing her, because he loved her too damn much.

Coolly he said, “Why does Hugh have a reputation as a rake, if things were as you say?”

“Because he is my son and I raised him. Oh, he had his share of peccadillos with the ladies, but no more than any other young man feeling his oats. You and Hugh take after your mother. You’ll probably never hear me say it again, but I’m proud of both of you. All the good in you is from Deborah.”

Adam rose, his legs feeling a bit unsteady. His father said, “Did you get what you came for?”

“You ruined our family. You separated Hugh and me, and very nearly destroyed Deborah. To this day, I don’t know how she had the strength to go on, after losing Hugh and then the baby she carried. Your baby.”

His father looked ashamed then. “It was unforgivable, I know. I am sorry for it.”

Adam nodded. “That’s something, anyway. I’ll see myself out.” He had wanted to rail at the man. To vent his anger until his father cowered in the corner. Maybe even punch him. But he could not. Benjamin Grey was a broken man already.

Adam hurried down the stairs, all the things his father had told him competing with thoughts of Cass. He wanted to heal, as Deborah had, from the pain the old man had caused. He didn’t want to be obsessed by it anymore. He wanted to marry Cass and start his own family, a family he would love and protect and safeguard, and he hoped to God that was what she wanted, too.

Adam retrieved his gloves and hat from Wesley and bolted through the door, nearly plowing right into Hugh. Sweating profusely, his brother was wearing workmen’s trousers and a rough-woven shirt.

“Adam. What the hell are you doing here?”

“Walk to the stables with me and I’ll tell you.” They strode alongside each other for a moment in silence, and then Adam began. “You said some things to me that got me to thinking maybe I wasn’t like Father. And that you’re not either. I came down here to get some answers.”

Hugh snorted. “And did you?”

Adam ignored the question, but abruptly stopped walking. “When I asked the old man where you were, he said I shouldn’t worry, that you weren’t hiding from me. What the hell did that mean?”

Hugh shrugged. “When you used to visit Father, didn’t you think it odd that I was never here?”

“He said you were helping tenants or visiting neighbors. There was always a ready excuse. I believed him.”

Hugh laughed and shook his head. “Those were lies, Adam. I didn’t want to see you. I was hiding, either in my room or somewhere outside. You and Deborah abandoned me, left me here with him, without so much as a by-your-leave. If you’ll recall, I didn’t visit you in town either.”

Adam was thunderstruck. He felt a sadness deep in his core. All these years, and he’d never once made an effort to understand how his brother felt about the break-up of their family. He should have sought Hugh out, attempted to find something they could do together. They might have found common ground and begun to forge the kind of relationship brothers should have.

He put a hand on Hugh’s shoulder. “I am sorry. So very sorry.”

Hugh flinched, as though Adam’s hand had burned him. His voice was a snarl. “I don’t want to be your friend, brother. Let’s keep going our separate ways. It’s worked fine for years.”

Adam held out his hand, hoping the gesture would be a new beginning for them. But Hugh ignored him, turning to walk back toward the house.

So be it.
But he couldn’t help hoping things might be different someday. He wasn’t ready to give up on Hugh.

…

Cass and Pippa were taking tea together in the drawing room. It was Miss Stanton’s afternoon off, and Cass was happy to have her sister to herself. “I think you’ve had enough of those raspberry tarts, Pip,” Cass said.

“Last one,” Pippa said, nearly unintelligibly, since she’d stuffed it into her mouth before Cass could stop her. “Why do you keep looking at the door, Cassie? Is Adam coming to see you?”

Cass’s cheeks flamed. She’d felt edgy all day. She couldn’t wait to see Adam; she dreaded seeing Adam.

A change of subject was in order. “Pippa, there is something I’ve been wanting to ask you.”

Pippa had resumed sketching after finishing her tea. “Let me see.” Cass said. “Move over.” Her sister was drawing some of the flowers she’d seen at the Royal Zoological Gardens the day before, and making quite a beautiful job of it. Although Cass did not recall seeing any fairies or elves peeping through the foliage. Or that the leaves themselves had brilliant stars etched on them. She loved that Pippa seemed to feel freer to express her whimsical nature now that Louisa was gone.

“What do you want to ask me?”

“Is it quite all right with you that I’m not your teacher any longer?”

Pippa looked up from her sketchbook. “I was afraid at first, when Jack told me.”

Cass’s heart dropped. “Afraid you would not get on with Miss Stanton?”

Her sister nodded. “But I like her. She’s a good teacher, like you. And Jack explained to me about you. Now that you’re old, you have more important things to do. Like helping Mr. Grey to be in Parliament.”

Cass laughed. “I’m not
that
old, dear heart.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Come here and give me a hug.” Pippa dropped her sketchbook and curled up next to her big sister, and that was how Adam found them when he entered the room a short time later.

…

“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite ladies,” Adam said, ruffling Pippa’s hair.

“You’re in time for tea,” Cass said. He studied her, noticed that she looked a little strained around the eyes.

“Pippa, be a dear and give your sister and me some privacy, would you?”

She leaped off the sofa and grabbed her sketchbook. “Would you like to see my flower sketches, Adam?”

“Very much, but another time.”

“Miss Stanton isn’t home. That’s Pippa’s new governess.” Cass turned to her sister. “Go to the kitchen, dear. Cook will entertain you for a while.” Pippa skipped off and Adam claimed the place next to Cass.

He raised a brow. “When did this happen?”

“When I was in Surrey. I knew nothing about it until their visit.”

“And it’s all right with you? I know you’ve loved teaching your sister.” He lifted her hand, kissed it, kept on holding it.

“It’s fine. Jack was right; it was time for a change. There’s something else, too. Louisa’s gone.”

Adam smiled. “I’m glad, Cassie. I hated the way that woman treated you.”

“Apparently she and Jack got into a row over the new governess’s teaching methods. Jack lost his temper, and she decided to leave.”

“I only wish it had happened sooner.” He paused and looked down at their entwined hands. “I didn’t come here to talk about Pippa or your cousin, darling. I came to talk about us.”

Cass didn’t say anything. She kept her quiet, dark eyes fastened on him.

“I talked to my father. For the first time in years, I saw him clearly. I’m not like him, Cassie.” He shook his head and laughed, as though he could hardly believe it. “Not at all. And I suspect that Hugh isn’t either.”

Cass threw her arms around his neck. “Nobody ever thought you were, Adam. Only you did.” She backed away enough to see his face and said, “He answered your questions?”

“My father hasn’t lived the kind of life I had imagined. No women or gambling, or even drink, until Hugh was a grown man. And my brother was not involved in any of it.” Adam smiled, still holding her. “Father even told me about the marriage. He thought Deborah was above his touch, as he put it. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy, evidently.”

He kissed Cass on the mouth, hard, and then drew back. “I’m not afraid anymore.”

“I’m so glad for you.” Tears wound their way down her cheeks.

Adam rubbed them away with his thumbs. “Don’t cry, love. I spoke to Hugh, too. He’s angry, resentful of Deborah and me because he thinks we abandoned him.”

“But that’s not true! Mrs. Wetherby told me…” Cass flushed, looked down.

“Cass. What did my housekeeper tell you?”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry, Adam. I had no intention of prying. I wanted to talk to her about Sir William, to see if she knew anything that might help me approach him. Somehow the conversation evolved into the situation between your mother and father at the time you left Longmere.” She bit down on her lip. “Once she started, I didn’t know how to stop her.” Cass looked miserable. “That’s not entirely the truth. I didn’t want to stop her. I thought it would help me understand you if I knew as much as possible about all of it.”